Our heroes(?) are almost to their goal...
"Talking"
"Thinking" ...not that I use this one...
"Mani Katti Talking"
"Uhg…" moaned Lyn, sitting up, "Where are we?"
"Negral blasted you all with magic and teleported you to a dungeon cell." Replied the Mani Katti.
"Aaaand he didn't take you away from me?" asked Lyn, incredulous.
"Well…no one said he was very bright…"
"Good point" replied Lyn.
"Don't worry! I've got a plan!" yelled Mark, "OK, here's what we'll do: Hector, you pretend to die, and when the guard comes to investigate, I'll knock him unconscious, then Lyn will put on his clothes and impersonate him, and steal a spoon. Afterwards, Eliwood will dig a tunnel for us to escape through! Pretty genius, huh?"
"…Or we could just leave" said Hector, "He never locked the door…"
"You have got to be kidding me…" muttered Lyn as they tramped out of the dungeon, "There's not even guards!"
"Hey guys…what ever happened to that one girl that hung around us?" asked Mark quizzically.
"What? What girl? Last time I checked I was the only girl here" replied Lyn.
"Oh come on, you know…the redhead with the squealing voice" Mark said.
"Wait…You mean Eliwood?" asked Hector.
"Yeah! That's the one!" Mark shouted triumphantly.
"That's a good point…where is the little pansy?" asked Lyn, looking around.
"Negral cackled something about making 'this beauteous flower' his wife or something'" answered Mani calmly.
"Oh, Ok" replied Lyn, "Just wondering"
The party continued a few paces in silence.
"You think we should go help him?" Asked Hector
"Well…I suppose we could…" Mused Lyn, "As long as it doesn't slow us down…Hey! Wait a minute! Why do I care if it slows me down? I don't need to see the wizard at all! Why am I even on this quest?"
"To make me your husband!" shouted Mark gleefully.
Just as Lyn was about to take Mark's soul with the Mani Katti, divine inspiration struck her.
"Oooh…that's good…" she murmured to herself, "OK! We're going to rescue Eliwood!"
"Yaaay!" shouted Mark.
Meanwhile in Negral's bedroom (eeeww)…
"Don't be afraid my pretty little lotus flower" cooed Negral, "I won't hurt you…"
"E-e-e-eep!" was all Eliwood could get out as he clung to the ceiling's support beam with all his might.
"WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?" wailed Negral, "IT'S BECAUSE I'M UGLY, ISN'T IT!"
While Negral was in the corner sobbing inconsolably, Lyn sneaked in and grabbed Eliwood, replacing him with Mark.
"It's OK! I love you too!" shouted Mark as he glomped Negral.
"OMGWTFBBQ IS THIS?" shouted Negral in surprise.
Negral desperately tried to attack Mark with magic, but Mark clung tenaciously to Negral's back, as all the misfired Flux's started collapsing the castle around them.
"HEY! WHY ARE YOU GUYS IN LORD ATHOS'S CASTLE?" shouted a half naked desert nomad named Hawkeye as he bust down the door.
"AAAHAOGIHDIOAFJEF!!!" shouted Negral as he fell over and started foaming at the mouth.
"Phss!" snorted Hector, "He's not so buff!"
And Hector started removing his clothes. Soon Hector and Hawkeye were staring each other down as they flexed their mighty muscles and rock-hard abs.
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON IN MY CASTLE?" shouted Athos as he barged in.
"OH DEAR GOD MY EYES!" he shouted as he fell down and started foaming at the mouth at the sight of the man-contest going on between Hawkeye and Hector.
"Oh my god this is getting retarded!" sighed Lyn exasperatedly. She then quickly strode over to Negral and impaled him through the heart, nailing Mark as collateral.
"Arg!" gasped Negral, as the 'Death of a Character' music started playing in the background, "How did you know that my only weakness is being stabbed through the heart by a sharp object?"
"Oh my brother, my brother! Why did you have to pursue this life of evil!" moaned Athos as he threw himself over Negral.
"It's…(gasp)…all your…(wheeze)…fault." Negral replied, "It…(cough)…all started…(sharp intake of breath)…on that day…" he continued, as the 'Death of a Character' song changed into the 'Flashback' song, and the entire world rippled and turned into dull colors.
A boy with white hair and a flowing beard was running along with a hook-nosed child that had purple turban over one eye…
"Hold up!" interrupted Lyn, "I am not going to listen to this retarded-ass flashback! Eliwood, Hector, lets get out of here."
"Umph." Said Hector.
"Umph." Said Hawkeye.
And just like that, an everlasting friendship was created between the Desert Nomad and the Lord of Ostia.
"Hey! That's not fair!" whined Eliwood, "I've known Hector since birth! He's never 'umphed' me before!"
"Maybe if you had gotten naked and stared at him for 10 minutes he would have" remarked Mark snidely.
"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" asked Lyn.
"Oh fine, be that way" huffed Mark as he went into a corner to sulk.
"Uhg, this place is a fucking looney bin" muttered Lyn as she stalked out of the castle.
Once outside, Lyn looked around, trying to orientate herself.
"Oh you have got to be kidding me…"
To her left was another castle, this one with the yellow road ending at it.
I figure one more chapter and an epilouge should wrap things up nicely...see you then!