Disclaimer: I do not own LotR or any of the characters.
Warnings: Non-con.
It was going to be the seventh chapter on the seventh, but I got distracted. xDD
Anyway, there are actually only two more chapters left after this one. yay! -.- There are parts in this chapter that I just can't seem to get right. No matter how many things I edit it. .::sighs::. I don't really like this chapter very much, but I hope you'll still enjoy it. n.n I tried. I really did.
Don't forget to let me know what you think, 'kay? .::grins::.
Shame Needs No Voice
Chapter Seven: Support
Elrond gaped at Legolas in disbelief.
His youngest had been... He couldn't even finish the thought.
However, it all made sense.
He looked at Estel and saw the defeated way he carried himself. His eyes were shut tightly, trying to ignore Legolas' words. His shame all too obvious.
"Ion-nin..." the elder elf started, but was unsure of how to continue. He didn't know what could be said. He was just as furious at Eildir as Legolas was and now he understood where that anger had come from. He was slightly surprised Eildir wasn't in worse shape.
Estel clenched his jaw and opened his eyes to look at his father.
And quickly averted his gaze.
He looked at his hands.
The pain in his father's eyes was too much, and what else was there...? Anger? Shame? Pity? He knew it would be there.
"Nay, ion-nin, I could never blame you for this," Elrond finally managed to say. "I only want to help."
"I need no help," Estel almost snarled. He wanted to be left alone. The despair heard in his father's voice was unbearable. It cut deeply.
Elrond closed his eyes briefly. His son was in greater pain than he had even thought. He didn't know how long it would take to heal this hurt. He didn't even know if he could. However, he knew that he would do anything for Estel; anything to heal his heart.
Legolas watched the exchange in silence. It had been hard to tell the elf-lord what he had walked in on and what had happened to Estel before--he had nearly choked on the words and then seeing Elrond's agonized expression after had crushed him. Seeing the way Estel had looked at Elrond when he spoke had stunned him. It was almost a bitter expression.
Elrond could tell that Estel had nothing else to say and he felt like he had lost his son all over again.
He now knew the problem, but the distance between them had grown even farther.
"We shall deal with Eildir in the morn," the elf-lord said somewhat coldly. "Get rest this night. If you should need anything..."
With that said, Elrond turned and left.
Estel was extremely surprised at his father's abrupt departure. He could see that the knowledge had only hurt him and he felt terrible. He knew he shouldn't have been told.
"Estel, mellon-nin, it is not because of knowing. He feels helpless," Legolas assured, seeing the man's downcast demeanor. He knew exactly where Elrond was coming from so he hoped to clear up the doubt within Estel's mind. He wasn't sure if it had been the best idea for the elder elf to leave at the time or like he had, but he could not blame him. He knew he had a lot of thinking to do.
Without a word, Estel merely laid down, facing the wall.
Legolas inwardly sighed, for he had no idea if he was getting through to the man.
"Do you need something to sleep?" the archer offered softly. He knew Estel would get no sleep after what he had nearly suffered. His body was far too tense.
Estel took a deep breath. "Nay, Legolas," he said in slight exasperation.
At this point, he was afraid of sleeping.
"I am going to stay with you this night. Try to get some rest," Legolas said matter-of-factly. He was not moving. He hoped that Estel would feel safer with him there and possibly fall asleep.
Estel neither spoke nor moved. He was almost surprised when his body relaxed. Usually he would argue and have Legolas leave, but tonight he wouldn't even try. He needed his friend there more than ever and both of them knew it.
Soon, he closed his eyes.
Legolas appreciated the fact that Estel accepted his presence. He had half-expected him to put up a fight.
The man was obviously shaken.
Legolas smiled sadly when the tension left Estel's body.
"Forgive me, mellon-nin."
............
The next day eventually dawned and Estel was left only more exhausted. He had received little rest, for he had awoken numerous times with Eildir haunting his mind. Legolas' presence could only do so much, unfortunately.
The elf had wished he could do something more to help his friend but he hadn't wanted to leave his side, even for a few minutes. Besides, he couldn't force Estel to drink anything he didn't want to. He wouldn't.
Estel had gotten up as soon as he could. He knew that if he had tried when he had first awoken Legolas would have made him stay in bed and get more rest.
Therefore, he had waited until he knew Legolas couldn't argue. He didn't feel like talking.
First thing he did was bathe. He needed to get Eildir off him.
Legolas had gone to his chambers to change while Estel bathed and then had returned to wait for the man.
He didn't mind waiting. Guilt ate at him for giving up on his friend and then leaving him alone. He felt ashamed for it and couldn't believe he had done such a thing.
Finally, Estel emerged and then merely stood there for a moment.
Legolas could tell Estel was trying to say something and wondered why he was so hesitant.
"I'm going to see Eildir," the man stated, leaving no room for argument. Although, his voice was shaky and held a tinge of fear.
Legolas frowned, but nodded. He truly was against it. However, if this was what the man needed to do then he would be by his side nonetheless.
"Hannon le," Estel said gratefully. He thought for sure Legolas was going to try and convince him not to.
Legolas could only nod in return.
When they arrived at the chambers that Eildir was being held in, they found that Elrond was there as well, and that was exactly what Estel had been counting on.
Estel could tell that his father was furious and was hesitant about approaching.
Before he could give that another thought, Elrond turned around on him.
"Estel," the elder elf said in surprise. His anger was quickly pushed aside when it came to his son, especially after what he had gone through.
What Estel had seen was enough to confirm his worry.
"Adar, may I speak with you?" the man questioned seriously.
He refused to look around the room and focused solely on his father. He didn't know how he would react to Eildir. He didn't want to look at the elf quite yet.
While Elrond wanted to get this out of the way, he couldn't deny his son his audience and so the three of them stepped out, leaving the guards to keep an eye on Eildir.
Estel took a deep breath. "Have you sentenced him yet?" he quickly got to the point.
Legolas watched Estel closely. He sounded nervous and no longer knew what to expect from the man.
"We were just discussing that," the elf-lord said through clenched teeth.
Estel knew that his father's frustration and anger was not aimed at him.
"I would like to suggest exile."
Legolas gaped at Estel. So this was what had him so nervous. And with good reason!
Elrond had much the similiar response.
"Estel..." he started slowly. It was too soft a punishment. To do that to his son--to anyone...
"Ada, he was a friend," the man said quietly. He knew all too well how serious a crime this was. However, he just couldn't see an old friend suffer. It didn't matter how much he had.
Both understood where Estel was coming from, but didn't know if they could listen to his request.
Eildir was Legolas' old friend as well, older yet, and he was still infuriated at the elf. He knew he would never be able to forgive him. He also knew that Estel had forgiven him for the first time, but had he forgiven him for the attempt as well?
Elrond studied his son and knew that this was really what the man wanted.
He had been a friend.
The elder elf sighed heavily. He couldn't possibly make Estel suffer more.
He could only nod in response.
"Hannon le, Ada," the man said with a small smile. He knew neither agreed with the light punishment.
The elf-lord turned around and went back into the chambers.
Estel echoed the sigh. Maybe he shouldn't have asked, but he hadn't been able to help it. He had been thinking about it since he had awoken, the second time. Last night had been especially hard on him.
He jumped as a hand was placed on his shoulder.
He looked to the side.
It was Legolas.
Inwardly, he took a deep breath of relief. He couldn't stop the accompanying look, however.
Legolas squeezed his shoulder, apologetically.
Estel no longer wanted to be even close to the chambers.
............
That evening Eildir was to get out and to never return to Imladris. As an additional punishment, he was sent without any of his possessions.
Estel and Legolas watched from a balcony as Elrond, Elladan, Elrohir and the same guards as before accompanied Eildir to the border.
Eildir looked back as he was leaving and saw Estel watching.
Estel swallowed thickly. He could see Eildir's smirk from the torchlight, the gleam in his eyes only made brighter.
Estel's stomach churned and he gripped the railing tightly as he turned his head to the side and closed his eyes.
"Estel?" Legolas asked in concern.
The man immediately opened his eyes and looked at his friend.
"Nothing. I'm fine," he answered, swallowing his nausea. At Legolas' skeptical look, he added, "I shall be fine."
Legolas still did not like the response, but at least he was being honest. He decided to let the matter go.
Estel stepped away from the balcony and back inside.
Legolas took another quick look at Eildir. He was more than excited to see him go.
He paused.
The elf was looking back at him, grinning.
Legolas gritted his teeth and quickly joined Estel, his hands balled into fists at his sides.
The sick elf deserved a lot worse and usually would have received it. He wished the punishment would have been dealt. However, he was relieved that he could no longer touch his friend.
Later that evening Estel, Legolas, Elladan and Elrohir were in the library. Estel was actually able to relax in company for the first time in a long while.
He had allowed Legolas to tell the twins earlier that day about what had happened since he knew it couldn't have been avoided. He felt slightly guilty for making Legolas the bearer of bad news but there was no way he was going to be able to tell anyone. Thus far, Elladan and Elrohir had been careful about their attitudes towards the matter. He still wasn't even sure how he felt about everyone knowing what had happened, though, and tried to ignore that fact.
The door opened and Elrond entered, surprising the others.
"I thought I would join you," the elf-lord said, smiling. He had taken a break from his work when he had the chance. He wanted to be with his sons, especially his youngest. He needed to be.
He was relieved to see how at-ease Estel seemed at the moment.
If exile worked for Estel then it would for him as well. Seeing him now, he was grateful he had listened. Anything else would only have hurt him more.
Estel moved to the side on the couch so his father could sit beside him.
He knew that he was only there to check up on him, but he didn't mind. He was glad to see him.
It felt good to be able to relax with his father as well as Legolas and the twins.