**Chapter Seven**

-And then there was pain-

Freya's words cut deep in my heart. The entire room seemed to light up with an invisible electric force of disbelief and . . . something else. Involuntarily, my chest constricted and clenched with such pain, it winded me of no air. I tried to desperately to ignore it, but its grip remained strong.

Forseti stared blankly at Freya, seemingly unaffected on the outside, but I could feel the turmoil in his chest. "Lovely, dearest Freya," he said, his voice hauntingly cold. "Please refrain from fashioning such a lie. This sick joke is humorless." Forseti's voice was so cold; it hurt to listen to it. My chest clenched in another wave of sheer panic and I snuck a look at Ullr. His stone-like eyes were wide.

Freya must have felt Forseti's pain because she broke down in tears, her legs buckling from under her. The poor blonde girl began to weep at our feet as we stared at her in surprise. It became evident, just then, that Freya wasn't joking. My throat tightened.

"Forseti," I whispered.

He stood up in an abrupt fashion and shoved through my bedroom doors, straight down the hall. Ullr stared at the ground as I got up to chase my friend. I may have been dressed in a nightdress, but at the moment, I didn't care. Balder, he . . . who would kill him? It didn't make any sense. It was impossible . . . right? I could have sworn Gods were immortal, but . . .

The thundering hooves of horses made me stop and I had to pause before passing the road-path, so as to not be smeared to the ground.

"Forseti, wait!" I cried. He was far ahead of me, but even with the distance, I could still feel his anguish. The grass was soft and cold under my feet, making me wish I had worn shoes, but I didn't focus on that right now. Balder was dead . . . he was my friend . . . why'd this happen? Why now?

"Crap!" I tripped on a rock and fell to my knees, smacking them across the smooth earth of a carriage road. They ached, and I struggled to get to my feet again. Come on legs, work!

I heard the carriage pulling down the road, the horses snorting and their hooves pounding at the ground. It matched the speed of my racing heart. But my bruised knees refused to bend. It was infuriating, but actually even more . . . soothing. I was tired. So, so tired.

Unearthly, I was jarred out of my misery as someone pulled me out of the way. My shoulder slammed into the ground away from the road-path and I rolled over, glaring at the man who had rescued me.

"Funny, you keep saving me, yet I keeping wanting to kill you. What the hell's up with that, anyway?" I snapped.

Loki just shrugged, dark tendrils of black hair falling in curls down his cheek as he sat back in the grass. "If I told you now, it would fail to be a surprise, would it not? Be patient, Riley. All things shall be revealed yet, in due time." He got to his feet and bit down on an arrow, shifting before my eyes into a raven and flying away with a burst of speed and fluttering feathers.

Shaking my head, I got to my feet painfully. My knees had been scraped, but mostly, only a blue-ish, purple bruise formed. Thankfully, no blood. I gathered breath and continued my run to where Forseti had been last seen. I didn't know exactly where I was going, but I had a feeling. My feet pounded on the grass. The ache in my legs and the loss of breath was kind of scary. Had it really been that long since I last sprinted?

I shook the thought out of my head and pushed through the achy feeling all over. Forseti needed me, my legs could get care sometime else. Suddenly, the sight of Forseti's shape made me smile, knowing I had finally caught up with him. He was a good couple hundred feet away, but I could see him clear as day. Eir's lean figure came into focus as well. She was bending over and I watched in despair as my friend's shoulders shook with emotion.

"No, no, no," I whispered and paused a couple of feet away from the scene. Balder was lying on the ground and staring up at the sky, a lifeless glassy look in his usually bright and beautiful blue eyes. His tunic was stained crimson with blood. My hands flew to my mouth as I felt shock intertwine in my veins.

Without a second thought, I knelt down next to Forseti and wrapped my arms around him, burying my face into his shoulder. I didn't know what to say. I had never been in a situation like this before. In my years, I had lost pets and stuffed animals, but nothing like this. Who could possibly do such a thing? And why?

"What happened?" I asked Eir. Tears were threatening to come lose, but I kept a firm leash on them for Forseti.

Eir's fallen face turned up to me. Her cheeks were stained with tears.

"He—it was a game. Frigg said . . . we thought . . . " she stopped and wiped her cheeks. Frustration was eating away at me. I would make whoever did this pay. Balder was the kindest person I had met here and his son and wife didn't deserve this kind of pain for their hospitality. Just . . . why?

I tore my eyes away from the body and looked sternly at Eir who was losing her grip of iron. Fresh tears already sparkled in her eyes.

"Eir, please, tell me what happened. I need— "

"No!" Nanna suddenly shrieked, collapsing over her dead husband. She wrapped her arms around the wide expanse of his chest, staining her arms and clothes a bitter scarlet. By now, Forseti had stopped crying. He stared at his father with a look of total loss and shock, tears drying on his cheeks. There was no way I would get answers now, so I looked away, staring down at my hands as they grasped hold of the green grass. The sun was bearing down on my back and it seemed totally out of place. You would think on a day like this, it would rain, and yet, the sun shone and the birds flew by. Everything remained as if nothing happened. It made me sick.

"Nanna, please, we should move him to a more comfortable place to set him to rest. He deserves more than this," Eir murmured. There was a pause. Nanna had gone perfectly still, her face covered in her dead husband's tunic. If I hadn't known any better, I would have thought she was—

"Nanna!" I cried. Tearing my eyes away from Balder, I shook the small woman ferociously. Eir pushed me aside with a little too much Aesir force and I went toppling over as the blonde woman yelled at little Nanna. By that point though, I didn't even bother to get up.

-O-O-O-O-

The ceremony took place less than hour after Balder and Nanna's death. The air was hot and sticky and the whole city of Asgard seemed to gather around to watch the boat that held the burning bodies of my once living friends off to the oblivion. I had heard stories of what happened to the Gods after death. About Hel and her own realm of the dead. It sounded even less than unpleasant to me. Why did this have to happen to Balder and Nanna? Them, of all people? Not that I had anyone else in mind.

My mind went out to Loki. He had been conveniently absent this whole time. Something, I didn't know what, made him suspicious. Wasn't there a story about how Loki had tricked Hod, Balder's blind brother, into shooting him with a mistletoe arrow . . .? Oh my God. The story was happening . . . everything that had happened in the story was happening now . . . but, a girl like me never appeared in a book like this! I had read different stories about this day and yet . . .

Before I could do something kamikaze, like what I would normally be doing, my eyes found Forseti, sitting on the edge of the cliff and staring out into the distance. His back was turned away from the ship that held his parents and his shoulders were hunched. Tightening my hands into fists, I made my way to him, trying to rein in my own sorrow for his sake.

"Hey," I murmured, carefully sitting down next to him. The silence felt like a dead weight sitting on my heart. A dull numbness of ice washed over me, making me feel almost dead inside. Forseti was falling off the edge. There was a thin line between sanity and complete and total destruction of the heart; I could feel it. I was losing him.

"Forseti, please say something. You haven't said anything since . . . " I bit my lip. "Where are you? I'm losing you, I can feel it! Please, you have to let me in. The sadness will eat you alive, I know it will. Forseti look at me. Please." I tried to get him to respond, but he remained impassive, as if he hadn't heard me at all. The sudden feeling of déjà vu washed over me, except in a slightly reversed manor. Forseti had been trying to get me to smile at him for the past few days. And now? I'd just settle for a look or maybe even a frown, or anything! Anything to show he still heard me and felt something. The ice was slowly incasing his heart, making me feel numb all over.

"Forseti, get you're freaking self together! I am not going to watch you die like this. It isn't right," I said. On complete impulse, I smacked him, leaving me with a throbbing hand and an unflinching friend. He didn't even blink or respond to me at all. Anger bubbled in my chest like a boiling pot. Anger at Forseti, anger at Loki, anger at the world and most of all, anger at myself. I had reached the end of my slack. My tolerance went out the window and my walls came crashing down around me. I punched and pushed at Forseti's chest, trying to get him to move or acknowledge my existence. With every punch and hit, I spoke, "Don't . . . lose . . . yourself . . . in your . . . emotions!" Then, without my even realizing it, I was crying. Hard. I wasn't sure if it was because I was sad about losing my friends, or losing myself in the process. I just cried. Hot rage cooled to uncontrolled sorrow and sadness, both mine and Forseti's I was sure.

"Just . . . don't cry," I tried to murmur. Guess I had dropped the ball on that one. Part of me, through all the sadness and irritation, almost hoped Forseti would respond. But he didn't. His face never showed the slightest change in emotion, and his emotions were distant and fleeting every second.

After using every inch of my self-control to rein in the forthcoming waterfall, I looked once more at Forseti, who was staring deeply at the ocean, his eyes dull and broken. I sniffed and kissed the top of his head before I left him alone. Maybe he would feel the slightest bit better tomorrow. But something deep down told me I had lost more than just two friends that afternoon.

Freya and Idunn walked me back home that evening. It was intensely awkward and uncomfortable. I just wanted the horrible nightmare to end. Whatever it would take, I would do it.

Idunn finally broke the silence. "There is rumor that Hermod will be traveling to Niflheim to try and persuade Hel to let Balder and Nanna return. My, I hope he returns with news of good. I have the oddest feeling that Asgard shall crumble under more dismal news," she said to Freya in a whisper. "Even Thor has been absent for almost four weeks as of this day. I hope he is not in the heart of trouble or . . . all. Not that Thor is ever in need of assistance, but it is a little odd that he has not returned of late."

"And what of Loki?" Freya added spitefully. "He was absent at the funeral ceremony. He was absent at the last war meeting. One might ponder if he is off with another woman. Sigyn must be absolutely terrified."

"I feel her pain, but cannot possibly see as to why it is there in the first place. Loki is a mischievous jester who thinks he amiable and comical. I would rather he fall off a cliff and shatter, but he sees not truth, nor speaks of it. It is a wonder he has not dashed away with a Frost Giant maiden already," Idunn scoffed, her eyebrows pinched in distaste.

Freya nodded and let out a snort.

"Selfish worm," she spat.

It seemed they had forgotten my presence entirely. It was all right, though. I didn't feel very much like talking and/or going off about someone who obviously no one liked. Myself included. But as for more pressing thoughts, how could anyone really think that Balder and Nanna could be brought back from the grave? Could that really be done? Could the Aesir Gods seriously just waltz into Niflheim and ask for Balder and Nanna back? It seemed pretty farfetched to me.

Idunn was about to say something else when I cut her off.

"You know what? I think I'm just going to head back to my room. I'm kind of tired," I murmured. It wasn't a total lie. I was tired, but deep down; I just needed to change from my nightdress and take some time for myself.

Freya nodded. "Very well, that sounds acceptable. Just try to awaken in time for Odin's masked wake at dusk. He is holding another gathering to discuss plans of attack with the warriors. The rest of us shall have a night in honor of those we have lost. Attendance is mandatory," she added before I could decline.

I frowned and sighed, not at all in the mood. Freya took the chance to continue. "There is a dress of appropriate adornment in your room currently, so all you need is your person."

"And please refrain from straying from the path ahead," Idunn added.

I tried a smile. "All right. I'll be there. Thanks." They waved as I jogged off in the opposite direction. My room wasn't too far away. I just followed the familiar pebble path and shoved through the golden doors of the entrance, trying not to think of what Forseti was feeling at the moment. The sweet smell of honey and cherry blossoms met my nose and I breathed it in deeply, letting it cloud my mind. It reminded me that I was running from my emotions as well.

As I pushed through my door, the familiar pink colored walls seemed to sparkle in the afternoon sun. I marveled at the sight briefly, but continued to clothe myself in something other than pajamas. Frigg had provided me with enough clothing to last a lifetime.

I was just about to leave again when something stopped me. My window was ajar. The pane had been pushed open, leaving a crack at least the size of a walnut. Both letters to my parents were sitting on the small dresser, out in the open.

Startled shock gripped me hard. I walked over and shoved them back into the drawer. Someone had been in here. Someone recently, too, because it was relatively the same temperature as it was before. The cool air was only just beginning to creep in.

I ran a hand through my hair briskly, sort of panicking. If someone had read those letters . . . my face turned red. I felt like someone had broken into my private diary. I hadn't written any secrets or anything, but I had pretty much poured my feelings into each of those letters.

Frantically, I searched around my room, opening closet doors and checking to see if the person was still hiding in here. I hadn't seen anyone when I ran in, but it was possible that they had got to a hiding place before I rushed in. In a flourish, I yanked open the last closet and squealed as a fly flew in my face, buzzing angrily. Well, not only did someone break into my room and read my private letters, but they let a fly in.

Slamming the door, I walked away from my room and back into the fresh air. I was definitely over-due for a walk. My head was spinning dizzily.

For the first time since I had gotten here, I was finally able to be on my own for a little and recuperate. I'd been surrounded by Gods for the past five days. It wasn't so bad at first, but the tables had turned quite bitterly. In fact, it had gone from bad to utterly destructive. There was a murderer on the loose and it was probably the man who couldn't stay away from me. Or was it the other way around, I wondered? I hoped not.

"Keeping yourself company?"

I whipped around to face, much to my surprise, Odin. His one good eye sparkled with brief amusement.

"Y-your majesty?" Serious face palm. Thankfully, he chuckled lightheartedly and sat down on a stone bench that I seriously didn't think was there before Odin had appeared. Needless to say, surprises weren't exactly hard to come by now, knowing I was talking with Odin, the God of all Norse Gods. Basically.

"Quite the spirited mortal, I see. Although, not to sound obscene, but I have not the pleasure to meet one such as yourself in nearly a millennia. Time passes ever-so quickly in Asgard, as you can well imagine."

I laughed lightly and uncomfortably. A small pause commenced and I wondered If I should leave, but Odin patted the seat next to his, kindly offering me to sit with him.

Very carefully, I cherry picked my words. "Is it really safe for you to be outside your . . . tower? I mean, people; Gods could try to—"

He broke me off. "You underestimate my power, child. Though I must say, it is both kind and amusing that you care for my wellbeing. But it is unneeded." He paused and looked over at me, as if searching for something. I looked up to meet his eyes and found myself wondering how he had lost his eye. The spot was well covered by graying red hair, but the mystery of how he had lost it made me wonder. Then again, there were a lot of spears around here . . . I shivered discreetly.

Odin furrowed his bushy brow. "You ponder how I lost my eye." It wasn't a question.

I flushed embarrassingly. "Uh, no—I didn't mean to—"

"It is well. You are only mortal. Natural curiosity for things you do not know is expected. Actually, there is a bit of a story behind it. Would you mind if I bored you with an old tale of mine?" he asked me with a grin.

"N-no! Not at all!" I replied. My voice squeaked.

He smiled, wrinkles creasing under his eye. "Very urbane, I see." He cleared his throat. "It happened years ago, back near the creation of Asgard and the eight other realms. I was sitting upon Lidskjalf, watching over the other realms when I laid my eyes on Mimir. He was of Jotun blood, you see, but he was very wise and not at all as wild as the other Jotuns. Not only that, but he owned a magical well known as the Pool of Wisdom. Because he had drunk out of it, the well had granted him great wisdom and knowledge. Something, in my young age, I wanted more than anything before. That is, until meet I Frigg. But that is another boring tale for another time." He waved his hand and chuckled.

"Mimir's well stirred my curiosity so much, that I decided to find it and inquire him for a drink, so that I could rule my people with all the wisdom and justice it so dearly needed. In that mindset, I traveled to the very edges of Jotunheim, in search for Mimir and his magical well. Three days and three nights of luckless journey commenced. And for a while, I did not believe I would ever find him. But one morning, just as the great sun was dawning over the peaks of Nylkatrods, the tallest mountain in Jotunheim; I saw him. Without any mere hesitation, I greeted him not as a Jotun, but as a friend or a possible ally. When I requested a drink from his magical well, he asked only for a trade in return. He wanted my all-seeing sight, or, in simpler yet possibly harsher terms, my eye." He paused and snickered a throaty laughter.

"Well, as you can piece together presently, I granted his request and gave him my eye, in return for a sip from the Well of Wisdom. From that day forward, I have ruled Asgard, my kingdom and my home, with all the knowledge and wisdom of the Aesir and the Jotuns. Delightfully enchanting, is it not?"

I gulped, unsure if he was joking or not. My nerves were on over-drive.

"It is all right, Riley. You may laugh; it was simply a jest. I can feel your unease. If I am making you uncomfortable in any way, by all means, I can return to my tower and leave you to your thoughts. It is in no means an issue, as I am certain you are going through your own inner hell right now. We keep our existence a secret for a reason, you know," he said.

I gasped. "Oh, no! I didn't mean to seem . . . I'm sorry. I guess you could say I'm a little uncomfortable, but not for the reasons you think. I promise this is okay. I just can't believe I'm actually talking to you. In person. For real. Part of me still believes this is all just one crazy dream and that I'll wake back up in my school's closet still being—"

"Mundane?" Odin suggested. "Ordinary? Without purpose?"

My eyes widened. "Wow, I guess you really are all-knowing. What I'd give to have a sip of eternal wisdom as well."

Odin smiled, placing a hand on my shoulder strongly. "Be not so down, Riley. You blame yourself far too much for comfort. Believe that everything happens for a reason and that fate cannot be tempered with. Some things are inevitable," he murmured wistfully.

I stared at my hands. "I don't believe that," I said without thought. "I believe that anything can change if you need it to. And that nothing is set in stone. You shape your own destiny. Ultimately, I believe that people and events can surprise you." After a pause, I realized what I had said and flushed. Wow, did I really just say that to Odin? Did I really just disagree with him, of all people? He was supposed to know all. What was I doing?

But Odin did not frown or get angry or hurt. He looked utterly peaceful.

"Very well said, Riley. I cannot argue with that, nor shall I try, but I do disagree on one thing. From what I have gathered about you, the Well of Wisdom would suit you ill. You think with your heart and mind and I admire that about you. Sometimes knowing everything does not do anyone any justice."

I let what he said sink in, for once, blissful in a silence. Unlike other silences, this one silence wasn't forced or awkward. It was healthy, as if both of us were deep in our own personal thoughts, immersed in what had just transpired. My eyes suddenly stung and it felt like a rock was stuck in my throat.

"Thank you," I murmured, wiping my cheeks dry of tears. Two times today I had cried. New record.

Odin merely smiled, giving my shoulder a soft squeeze. "You are very welcome. It brings me great pleasure to finally be able to speak with you alone. I would really enjoy getting to know you; the real you. Not that silly brigade I see you carrying around like a mask. It pains me to see people trying to hide their true self just so they do not need to face the burden of looking for their real self. It is the easy way out, but never the batter path. The more you focus on finding your true self, the happier you will truly be. Many have not yet learned that lesson and are still looking for themselves. Like ghosts trying to complete unfinished business. They will never find true happiness." His words hit home, literally. I, embarrassingly, felt my shoulders shake with emotion as I quietly sobbed into my hands. Raw emotion hit me like a rock and I struggled to contain composure.

"I'm sorry; I just . . . "

"Do not apologize. It is very all right. Letting this out of your system early is good. Please, by all means, let go of all ties to sorrow."

And I did. For five minutes, I just cried without reins, letting out every negative emotion like a shattered genie bottle, only without the three wishes. After a few minutes, I felt small sharp claws lightly dig into my shoulder, and I looked up to see a blacked spotted sparrow. Its emerald eyes sparkled with sympathy; as if it understood what I was feeling and actually wanted to comfort me. I smiled sadly at the little thing. Now I really knew this was a dream. Birds didn't just fly down on your shoulder like in Cinderella or something. But then again, I was in Asgard. The bird was probably a person for all I knew.

I looked up at the sky and sniffed, nearly jumping out of my skin when I noticed the sun going down.

"Oh! I have to go!" I stood up and dusted my pants, quickly wiping my cheeks as well. It seemed hard to believe that time had flown so quickly, but apparently, it had.

Odin stood up, too, with a grunt. "Yes," he said. "It appears the time of late is upon us. And I have a meeting to host. It was very much a pleasure meeting you, Riley. I do hope we can speak sometime again, before the battle starts. Though, I am not sure how much time we have left. Until again." He bowed slightly and began to make his way back towards his shinning gold tower. Somehow, I felt lighter now, as if I had lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. It surprised me how happy I felt, after I had cried. Normally, I would just feel really babyish and tired, but now, I actually felt pumped. Somehow, deep down, I knew Forseti would be okay. I knew it with all my heart. Because I couldn't stand to lose anyone else.

"You hear that bird? I'm feeling awesome. Epic even. Actually, maybe a tad bit worried because I'm talking to an animal, but, it's all good, because I'm embracing my craziness," I babbled. And the thing I did next was something I never thought I would do. I scratched its head. Its little green eyes closed and I took a second to just stand there, petting the bird like a dog. Because, hey! Might as well, right? I was still crazy!

"Sincerest apologies, Riley," the bird murmured, its voice smooth as silk, or more rather . . . velvet. I paused. Okay, now my craziness had gone too far. Animals didn't talk.

But before I could say or do anything else, the bird flew off and disappeared into the branches of a tree off in the distance. For a moment, I was surprised into utter silence.

/Author's note: Eh, a little choppy and a bit discombobulated, but I'll work on it. No worries! :D