In the Presence of Mine Enemies Chapter 7
The ride back to the Navy yard mirrored the ride to the crime scene-complete silence.
Sitting in the back of the sedan McGee and Kate exchanged concerned looks. The tension between the two men in the front seats was almost tangible. McGee felt like he was sitting next to a powder keg watching the fuse burning slowly towards him. He knew the explosion was inevitable. He just hoped he could get out of the way before it went off.
Gibbs knew he had created this tension but he was not a man to apologize. He always felt actions spoke louder than words and he knew his actions earlier in the day were unwarranted and cruel. He did not share much of his personal life with his team so they did not have a clue as to the agony of loss Gibbs fought on a daily basis.
If he had to give an excuse (which he would never, ever do) to explain his actions, it would be that he was mentally and physically exhausted. The last case they worked had been grueling and horrific. When children were involved it was always hard. This time was worse for Gibbs since one of the dead children was the spitting image of his own dead daughter.
Since seeing her face he had barely slept, haunted by the fact another beautiful child was gone and he could not save her.
He had worked all day yesterday tying up loose ends to make sure the Navy Captain who slaughtered his wife and two children went away forever or better yet, got a one way ticket to hell via lethal injection.
He had over three weeks of non-stop work with little rest of his mind or body. He knew he was a walking time bomb of emotions. He did his best to reign himself in but inevitably those closest to him felt his wrath.
When he was pissed he used Tony's good nature and humor as a foil to counter his bastard tendencies. He knew he had Tony's loyalty and respect but he couldn't help himself in pushing the boundaries of both. His fear was he pushed too far today.
He had a feeling he was driving a wedge between himself and his team, especially his SFA. He knew he needed to act to correct the situation.
You can only use the second "B" for bastard excuse for so long.
He would give Tony time to cool off and try to make amends in some way.
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Kate watched the two men in front of her with some curiosity. She was sitting behind Tony and observed his facial expressions in the side door mirror. He looked conflicted. His features changing from anger to sadness then back to anger. She knew he was engaged in an inner battle on how to deal with their boss.
She turned and watched Gibbs face via the rearview mirror. She could tell he was dealing with his own inner thoughts regarding the tension they were wallowing in. She caught him glancing at Tony every few minutes. She wondered how Gibbs inner dialogue commenced. Was it, as Tony would say, monosyllabic? She laughed to herself but wiped the smile off her face when she noticed Gibbs eagle eyes glaring back at her in the mirror.
She looked away and watched the scenery fly by as Gibbs accelerated. She caught Tony's eye in the side mirror and he smiled at her and winked. She returned his smile and sighed.
If their boss didn't have a rule against apologies this situation could have ended hours ago.
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Tony couldn't look at Gibbs. He had to bite his tongue and cool down. He kept his eyes focused out the window but he really didn't notice what they were passing by. He re-played all the events of the day and tried to excuse Gibbs behavior. Tony knew his boss was tired. He ticked off a few more excuses in his mind trying to justify Gibbs actions.
"Shit, I sound like a battered wife!" he thought remembering all the domestic calls he had handled as a cop. The beaten wife always made excuses for the abusive husband…" he didn't mean to throw me down the stairs…he only hit me a few times officer, it has been worse" they would plead, eyes blackened and lips split and bleeding. Tony felt sick.
He could usually deal with the plethora of moods Gibbs exhibited but Tony felt like he had had enough. Tony would have to say Gibbs waitress comment and the cruel smile while sipping the coffee Tony had brought him, coupled with Gibbs outburst about "lining up a date" had been the breaking point. The head slap had been hard too. Tony didn't mind them usually, he had always thought of them as kind of an affectionate gesture with guidance as the undertone. But this head slap was anything but affectionate. It was almost brutal in its delivery…and Tony found that unforgivable.
He saw Kate watching him in the side mirror and he smiled at her. She looked upset so he winked at her. He was rewarded with her smile. He loved his team and he loved his job but he wondered, if only for his own peace of mind, if he should move on.
"Suck it up DiNozzo" he told himself.
There was a dead Petty Officer they needed to find justice for. He had a job to do. They all did.
He would do his best to try and let go of his growing resentment.