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The Weight of Our Choices
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Eventually, they all had to return to their room to collect their belongings. Jiraiya was the only one to make it back last night, his quest to drown his sorrows and indulge in a few pleasures had been interrupted when a familiar carrier pigeon intercepted him on his way to the bar.
They would need to leave for the village before noon. The Hokage would need him in these upcoming peace talks and it would give the team something different and a change was needed after recent events and revelations. Which also brought up the information he needed to relay to both Sarutobi and Kakashi.
His bag packed, he sat, writing out his discovery and the mission report. Konoha would need to send another team to Wave to handle trade negotiations and ensure the bridge was completed. Call him an idealistic fool, but he always had a thing for the underdogs and the determination and strength these people have shown made him want to help them.
He wasn't worried about his students. Seka and Hikari were probably out training together and Kyo would always be back in time to leave. They may not think it, but he has paid close attention to all three of them since they became a team. He could tell you habits they themselves were probably unaware of. There was a chance he would have to go get the two if they were passed out from training too hard.
His scroll was filling up with theories alongside details of the unexpected encounter. Hikari would need to talk with Kakashi. If there was one person she valued above all others, it was that man. He'd really grown from the uptight kid to someone worthy of respect. Hikari had no shortage of personal heroes in her life. There wasn't one thing he could focus on, his mind trying to find the connection to all this. The one subject suspiciously absent from his report was Hikari's confession that she had spoken to her father, that Minato had put, in his dying moment, enough of his chakra to be able to meet his daughter. That boy never ceased to amaze him and it wasn't that that information was unimportant, but that he wanted to hold onto this new memory a bit longer.
The door creaked open softly, Kyo's foot stepping in before any other body part.
"She told you, even when I specifically outlined not a soul was to know." He didn't seem all that upset about it, which to be fair, one just gets used to this kind of behavior around Uzumaki Hikari. He moved further into the room, laying across the bed, staring at the ceiling. "He came from nowhere, just appearing in the cave. The seal was weakening so I could 'see' what was happening. I was going to break out anyway, once Hikari was born. Would I have attacked the village? I'm not sure anymore but I didn't have the freedom to choose. His eyes, so like that bastard, he knew exactly how to take control and he rode me into battle like I was a common summon to do his bidding!" He spat in disgust, hands moving to fists.
Jiraiya listened, knowing this was as close to an apology he would get from the boy. He still wasn't sure of his intentions but he had saved his team more than once.
"I was powerless to stop, everything dying beneath my feet, people screaming. I don't know what became of him, but he lost the fight against Namikaze." He took a moment to pause before continuing. "There was only ever one Uchiha who could control me with those cursed eyes and he has been dead for decades. This man reminded me of Madara, his eyes held the same power and hatred."
Jiraiya listened to this revelation, pondering who this man could be. They were still left with an unknown threat. The only Uchiha's that have had the potential to match Madara were Shisui and Itachi. But both were only kids at the time. They were no closer to unmasking the enemy and he must be exceptional if he has been able to go undetected for all these years.
"He manipulated my rage and when his connection was broken by Namikaze, that was all I had left. And when I realized what Kushina was trying to do with her chakra chains, I retaliated." Kyo sat up, staring Jiraiya directly in the eyes, "Do you know what it's like to be trapped for decades on end? To not feel the wind through my fur, the dirt between my paws? Even now, I am confined to this form with a fraction of my power. On my best days, it only feels like my skin will rip off at any moment, unable to contain my energy. On the worst, I feel like I will implode. I can feel every fiber ripping and repairing in a fraction of a second. My nerve endings are firing faster than my limbs can respond. Even free, I am trapped in hell."
Jiraiya stared in shock at his student. He hadn't thought of the consequences of a bijuu taking a human form but with the amount of chakra Kyo possessed, it was only logical that a human body would not be able to contain that amount of energy. The only reason Hikari didn't have the same effects was that the seal only let through a fraction of a fraction of his chakra. If the seal ever failed, her body would begin to deteriorate and she would be in constant pain.
"Hikari knows, subconsciously, that I am responsible for her parent's death, either directly or indirectly, it matters not. What I chose not to tell her, I do because she can't handle it. Believe what you will about me, but keeping her alive is my priority and that means keeping her mentally healthy."
Kyo didn't stop there, "You don't even know a quarter of what she's been through. I had to sit by when she was thrown out of the orphanage, when her Uchiha was killed, when she lost the only people she considered family, and I was there when Kakashi couldn't be. So don't pull this concerned adult agenda. You weren't there; I was!"
And if that didn't hit Jiraiya.
He had tried but there were many reasons he couldn't have stayed with his goddaughter or taken her with him. He had trusted his sensei, had never thought the Uchiha's would be slaughtered by one of their own. That Shisui would be killed. The kid was one of the most gifted individuals in generations and his name was already feared across the nations. To hear of his death had been like a punch in the stomach.
"She doesn't need another guardian and she sure as hell has no need for a father. So stick to being her sensei; that's one thing you haven't failed at yet."
"Listen here –!"
He knew his failings, was acutely aware of them. He life was nothing, meant nothing. His legacy would be one of failure.
"You need to push her. This mission has changed her and it won't be something I can bring her back from." As much as it pained him to say the next words, he knew them to be true, "She's going to need you, now more than ever."
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Something had shifted in the team as they left Wave. Jiraiya came to understand Kyo differently, an air of acceptance around the two that appeared after their talk. There was a mutual respect that had grown and was visible in their interactions. Hikari and Seka bonded and seemed to have a deeper understanding of each other now. Their entire walk back to the village was the two either training together or signing back and forth. Hikari had grown leaps and bounds in the few weeks she had known sign. She could almost hold full conversations with Seka.
Their relationship had also strengthened as Seka was finally brought in on their secret. He was a smart boy, able to read situations. So he had known there was something not quite right about the duo and the attack from the other day had only highlighted his suspicions.
Jiraiya knew the boy needed to be told if trust was to ever be built between the four. So with reluctance, he took Hikari aside to speak separately. He had already discussed with Kyo about the consequences of Seka knowing his identity. Between the two of them, they trusted the boy's character.
"With recent events…it would be best for Seka to be told about Kyo." Seeing his goddaughter about to argue, Jiraiya continued before she could, "There are people out there, more dangerous than the two shinobi you've already faced. He deserves to know what dangers he is getting into."
Hikari locked her jaw, teeth biting the inside of her lip as she struggled to not yell.
What right did he have to demand she reveal her biggest secret? He didn't know her. He had abandoned her for her entire childhood. Her secret is what's kept her safe.
"The shinobi out there won't care if he knows your secret. They'll kill him for just being in the way. Doesn't he deserve to know the danger he is getting in?"
He was being too harsh with her, he knew, so he lightened his tone, trying to dispel her insecurities.
"Seka will remain by your side, no matter what. A kid like that…he's a rare gem. He ain't lived a daisy life either."
The other half of the team were spread out, collecting firewood for their lunch. Seka threw them a few curious looks but otherwise continued on with his task. Kyo blatantly ignored his task and interjected himself into their conversation.
"If you're telling her to reveal the truth to Maeko, I would do it as soon as possible. I'd rather not carry around dead weight that shall only disappoint me."
It was like the forest became silent at Kyo's proclamation. Jiraiya looking at his student in annoyance. He had said exactly what he had told Hikari wouldn't happen, would happen. And Hikari…her brain was working overtime. Her initial reaction to anything her friend says – and Kyo knows this – is to do the exact opposite. So he didn't want Seka to know about them? She scrubbed at her head in frustration, getting a headache trying to figure out what game Kyo was playing?
Jiraiya stood to his full height, eyeing Hikari seriously. He couldn't make her part with her secret but she had to understand the consequences if she didn't.
"Seka is already putting the pieces together. The last few days will have him questioning and coming to his own conclusions. He is a bright individual…it won't be long before he guesses it."
Hikari felt like she was alone, like she was a little kid again, on the outside looking in. What right did he have to demand this of her? What right did Kyo have to demand this of her? It was her life, dammit!
Her fists shook as she struggled to hold in her rage and the injustice of it all.
"What right…what right do you have when you won't even tell me what you did?!" she demanded of the demon, tired of always being treated like a child, like she couldn't make her own decisions when they didn't reciprocate and still kept things from her! "And you!" she turned to Jiraiya, "You were supposed to protect me! Mom and dad trusted you and you took off!"
It was a low blow, she knew that but she was just so angry at everyone trying to tell her how to live her life.
"If I tell him, it'll be because I want to." Body trembling in simmering rage, she took off into the trees before she really said something she'd regret.
Jiraiya palmed his face, shoulders sagging. He was too old to be dealing with this shit. And he knew who was behind him.
Seka didn't mean to but with how heated his teammate was getting, he started to make his way to where the rest of his team was, ready to make himself known, when he saw Hikari clench her fists. They were arguing…about him? Was it about what happened between the two during the fight?
They hadn't noticed him yet so maybe he could escape and act like he hadn't heard anything. This must be part of what Hikari hadn't wanted to part with yet. He felt uncomfortable eavesdropping, especially when Hikari had told him she would tell him her story. Piercing red eyes kept him in place, there was no getting out of this now. Dropping the twigs he had been collecting, his hand came to tug at his headband around his neck nervously. Another shiver of fear went up his spine. A fox of a smile took over the red-heads face.
Kyo surprised him though by walking away, saying nothing.
Jiraiya looked between the two, shaking his head, before retreating. He stopped when next to Seka, placing a large hand on the boy's shoulder. It wasn't fair what was happening right now; none of this was his fault yet he had been dragged into the middle of it. With a firm squeeze, he released the boy and moved to his tent. They would be arriving home tomorrow and he had had to finish his reports. He had also felt a summon appear which means he had finished his recon mission.
The forest seemed much smaller than a few moments ago yet vaster as the forest sounds grew as he stood wondering what his team was hiding.
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It was hours later when Hikari returned, hair damp with sweat but looking much lighter. She had taken the time away to reflect on the previous conversation. While she didn't want to reveal that part of herself – not that she was ashamed – but that she didn't know what Seka's reaction would be. She was scared to lose another person so soon after opening herself up again. But he deserved it and she had promised to tell him her story one day. That day just came sooner than she would've liked.
It was an awkward silence around the campfire: Jiraiya making scratches across his scroll: Kyo manipulating the fire with his index finger: and Seka staring unseeingly into the same fire, food long forgotten in his lap. All eyes turned to her as she entered the clearing, nervously tugging at her braid. Braiding her hair always calmed her, a remnant of when Shisui would sit her down and braid it for her.
"I think it's time we talked, Seka." She walked forward until she could feel the heat of the fire on her skin. "I – we – haven't been entirely truthful, you see. Only a few people know it and it's not like knowing makes a difference. I mean, sure, it's sensitive information and in the wrong hands could be dangerous but I mean, people just don't understand. And they don't want to understand and they look at you like you're different, like you're a monster for something you had no control over. So it's always been something I've held close and never told anyone. And I just-."
Kyo grunted, drawing Hikari's attention mid-sentence. "You're rambling is annoying. Tell him or don't; stop wasting time!"
Her hand fell from her braid, fingers clenching into a fist, seriously debating if she should still defend Kyo as 'not that bad'. This whole situation had put the two of them on pins and needles, tempers flaring easily between them.
Taking a deep breath, she pulled together all the bravery she could muster, forcing herself not to back away. Sadly, this meant she blurted out her revelation instead of easing the boy into it. Her eyes widen in shock and fear, flickering to Jiraiya for direction before zeroing in on Seka's reaction.
She wouldn't run away from this, she would never run away.
Seka doesn't say anything, processing the information. It all made sense now, the little things he had been picking up on between the two, stuff that didn't make sense about Kyo, why he and their sensei didn't get along.
But with that revelation, while there is relief, there is the fear that comes with this knowledge. His eyes reflect this fear as his body trembles, remembering their history class at the Academy and all the stories that were whispered around the village. The massive, terrifying demon that appeared and destroyed a significant portion of the village before the Yondaime Hokage was able to defeat it at the cost of his own life. The stories of how its tails out level mountains, raise tsunamis, summon earthquakes. The list was endless.
Kyo looked at him with a knowing smirk, like he knew what Seka would do next, the same as everyone else. It reminded him of the last time he saw his teammate.
Hikari looked at him in uncertainty, fear clouding her eyes and her expression closed off as she tried not to let his reaction hurt her.
"Take a deep breath." Jiraiya's deep voice broke through his clouded mind.
Seka hadn't realized he had stopped breathing. He gulped in precious air as he tried to calm his racing heart. He didn't understand how any of this was possible. Hikari was his friend and he'd like to think he was making progress with Kyo…but now? Did this revelation really change anything? They were still the same people he had worked with for weeks.
He looked back at his sensei and saw the encouragement he had only ever seen from his Hyuga instructor.
What right did he have to judge them when he was an outsider and judged just for his disability? Never once had they made him feel useless or a burden, that he could never amount to anything.
No. This was his family now, if they would have him. They had trusted him enough with this secret. He knew it would take time to fully process everything but he swallowed his fear down and stepped forward. Willing his hands not to tremble as he lifted them slowly to sign, 'team and 'family', circling all of them.
Both Jiraiya and Hikari broke into laughter and she tackled him, wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. He was able to glance at Kyo and only saw that his face had fallen and his aw tightened. Had he said something wrong?
He didn't have time to dwell as Hikari pulled him to the ground. He couldn't keep the smile off his face. This was the first time in days he had seen her smile or heard her laugh. After weeks of it. He hadn't realized how much he would miss such a thing. If anything, it made him glad that he had only lost his voice. Not being able to hear these wonderful sounds or see the beauty of the world would've killed him. He missed being able to communicate with his voice, had forgotten what it even sounded like, but he could still experience the all the world had to offer.
Kyo felt something churn in his stomach, a feeling he hadn't felt before. It was weird, he felt vulnerable. Why did he care that this boy hadn't scorned him like everyone else? That he hadn't disappointed him? That he had surprised him beyond a doubt. He could feel Jiraiya's smug smirk directed at him as he turned and walked away.
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Excuse the mistakes, has not been double checked
