The droplets of water were shimmering in the dim light of the cave like pieces of broken glass glowing in the last rays of the sun. Mary walked through the white columns of the limestone cave. As she passed them, the walls turned black as coal, and the floor changed to steel plates.

She passed the window that looked into the break room to see Sherlock and John talking. She watched as Sherlock walked away. John reached after him. Then he sat down in a chair sad and defeated. Mary walked around trying to find the door, but she couldn't. Instead she found a black baby carriage with rusted wheels parked in a pool of poisoned water.

She peeked through the window to look for John only to see the face of the murderous store manager staring back at her. She cried out.

Mary was in her bed back at the flat. She sat up to find John sitting on the edge of the bed. "Hush, honey. It's alright. It was just a dream."

"John."

"I'm here, love."

"How did I get here?"

"You fell asleep in the taxi. You seemed exhausted. What have you been doing while I was away? Running marathons?"

"No, I was searching for you."

John frowned. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I won't be leaving again."

"Where's Sherlock?"

"He left at the crime scene. Don't you remember? Are you sure that you don't have a concussion."

"Yes, I remember now. It's just, you need to go after Sherlock."

John sat very still, then his face became serious. "Mary, I'm not going anywhere. I was a little confused before, but I understand that you and I have made a commitment to each other and I'm not going to leave you. I'm staying."

Mary stared at his serious face, and then she turned away.

"Mary?"

"When did it happen?"

"When did what happen?"

"When did our life together become a burden to you. When did your love for me end?"

"What do you mean, Mary? I love you." John reached out and held Mary in his arms. He kissed her hair. "Of course I love you. When I saw you unconscious, I was afraid that I had lost you. Please, don't scare me like that again."

Mary stroked his arms softly with her fingers, then she pushed away, opening a space between them.

"I know why you left," Mary said. "It's the same problem you've had since before I've known you."

"What problem is that?"

"You were born in the wrong time."

"What do you mean?"

Mary leaned forward and ran her fingers through his short blond hair. "I imagine you as a Roman soldier fighting for your country, or as the defender of a Greek city state. Then you and Sherlock would be men at arms. Comrades working together. No one would question your loyalty to your friend. No one would expect you to chose between going to battle or having a family."

Mary rose to her feet. "I almost died today. I listened to that man spout his story of hate and I realized what a fool I was. What a fool we all have been. We let things get in the way of what is truly important."

"What is important?" John asked.

Mary lifted her hand and ran it through her hair undoing the braid so that the strands fell free around her shoulders. Then she unzipped her dress and dropped it to the floor. She stared down at him in only her underclothes.

"I'm a woman, John. I want children. I want a family, and I want a husband who loves and desires me."

"I do love you. I do desire you. I want us to have a family. I want children, a dog, everything that we've discussed."

"But that's not all you want."

"I'm not going to leave you. I told you that, Mary."

"I release you. I release you from any promise that you've made to me. You don't have to stay with me. You don't have to love me. You don't have to protect me, or ever see me again. You have no obligations to me at all."

"No, Mary, I don't want that. I want you. I love you. Don't you understand. I'm staying, I've decided to stay."

"It's wrong, John. Those words are wrong."

"What words do you want me to say?"

"I want you to be honest, with me and with yourself."

"I am being honest."

"I had a dream that I was in a cave. My father used to tell me that when you work in the mine, coming in before sunrise, and leaving after sunset, sometimes it felt as if the blue sky was just a myth. He said that it was hard to believe in anything but rock walls and dark sulfur filled pools. So many things were impossible in that world, so strange that you couldn't even imagine them. Things like wildflowers, rainbows, and kites. They don't exist underground.

"But one day he went to a mine where the roof had collapsed years ago, and he walked out of the darkness into a deep well full of trees and mist and butterflies. He said that even in a world of darkness, you could find blue skies if you believed in them."

"I don't understand. I don't know what you mean to say."

"I'm saying that I'm tired of bending myself around society's expectations of me. I'm going to do what I want and damn them all!"

"I still don't understand."

"What I want is to have a child with you. I want to take care of you and support you and to love you, no matter what it is that you want. It would be nice if you loved me back, but I won't have you stay with me out of duty. I won't have you trying to do what's right, because life is too short for nonsense, and I want you to be happy."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Tell me what you truly want. What dream is in your heart, right now? If you could have anything, if there were no limitations, what would you want your life to be? Don't filter it, don't lie to me. Tell me honestly what you want."

John sucked in a breath, and then sighed. "I want to be a father. I want you to be my wife, the mother of my children. I'd like to have children, not just one, but three or four. I want a dog. I want to keep working as a doctor. I want to make a difference, to save lives."

"And...come, John. Tell me the rest of it. Tell me about Sherlock."

"I want to keep working with Sherlock. I'm his partner, and I want to keep working with him and blogging with him as long as...well. I can't imagine ever wanting to stop."

"And..."

"And I might, I'd like. God Mary! I don't know what I want."

"You've never let yourself imagine the possibility that you could have what you wanted."

"I've imagined it." John said rising to his feet. He began to pace. "I had dreams, fantastic ones. But I knew they could never happen. I left because I had to find out what was wrong with me. Why couldn't I be a normal person and love like I was supposed to love? Why did I have to be different?

"I thought that perhaps I desired more sex, but I was offered sex and I didn't want it. I didn't want to waste something so intimate on people I didn't care for. Then I thought that perhaps it was excitement that I craved. That's what Mycroft said all those years ago. I could have gone back to Afghanistan, but my life is here, the people I care about are here. I have everything here that I want."

"Then why are you conflicted?"

"Because I can't have you and Sherlock."

"Who says?"

"What?" John asked turning to stare at her.

"Who says that you can't have both? And God help me, If you say that you're not gay again I will hit you."

"But Mary, we can't carry on like we have been."

"No, we can't. That was ridiculous. Sherlock and I competing to see who could exhaust you more. I was acting like a child. I apologize."

"That's insane anyway. A man can't be loyal to two people."

"Like home and the state? Like his mother and his wife? Like his brother and his child? People are loyal to more than one thing all of the time. I don't know the answer, John. But what I do know is that there is more than one way to live. I spent the last few days arguing with Sherlock and most of the time it seemed like we were arguing on the same side. He loves you, and I love you, and you love me. Shouldn't that be enough for us?"

"But if people should find out...the news, your friends."

"Like I said, John. Life is too short. I'm not going to make myself unhappy just to satisfy other people's opinions of who I should be. I could have died today and our child would have never been born."

John wiped his face with his hand. "I don't know, Mary. I don't know what to do."

"You need to talk to Sherlock. I want you to discover what you really want. I want you to have a life beyond our current imagining. I want blue skies."

Mary kissed John on the cheek and then climbed into bed. "It's Christmas eve, John. I'm going to sleep. I plan to dream of sugar plums. Good Night, John."

"Good Night, Mary."