It had been a long couple of weeks at the Rachel-Kurt residence. Quinn had to go back to Yale and despite Santana insisting she didn't need college because she was a hot bitch, she had classes to go to. In fact, so did the others, but most days they were home with Kurt and only went to classes when he was also up for it.

Kurt stared out of the window of his apartment blankly, watching the city of New York wake up below him. He was wrapped in a blanket sitting on the windowsill. Rachel walked into the apartment stealthily and set down her purse, ready to slip back into her room because she didn't want to disturb Kurt, who she thought was sleeping, but the boy didn't seem to notice.

Rachel saw him sitting by the window staring blankly off into space. She was immediately concerned. Kurt was the type to have to being doing something all the time. And sometimes, doing one thing wasn't enough, he would find a bunch of tasks that he could do at once, that boy was a master at multitasking. Which is why seeing her best friend sitting around the house scared the crap out of Rachel.

"Kurt? Are you okay?" Rachel asked softly, walking up to the boy.

He snapped out of his daze and turned to look at her with wide eyes as if he'd never seen her before. He nodded slowly. All his movements were sluggish and slow. They made him look like he'd just woken from a deep sleep.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" he asked, wrapping his blanket a little tighter around his slim shoulders.

Rachel sighed. Why didn't he get how weird he was acting.

"Kurt, normally you don't wake up until 9 on a weekend. Yet here you are wide awake and it's only-" she checked the her phone quickly, "5:30 in the morning. What's wrong?"

Kurt shrugged. "Couldn't sleep, but that doesn't matter. The more important question is why are you up?" he asked.

"I spent the night at Finn's apartment but I wanted to come back before you woke up so..." she broke off and suddenly was interested in looking anywhere but Kurt.

"So you can babysit me more?" Kurt suggested. He stood up and walked into the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee and took a drink.

"See!" Rachel yelled, storming into the kitchen and pointing at Kurt's mug accusingly. "See that right there! You never, ever drink coffee black but now you are."

Kurt held his arms up in front of him to surrender. "Rachel, it's no big deal. It's just coffee."

He walked over to the table and sat down. He wasn't expecting Rachel to keep on talking.

Rachel threw her arms up in the air in frustration. "It is not just coffee. You've been acting weird for months now. You don't comb your hair all perfect or do your crazy hour long skin routine. You let Finn call you 'dude' the other day and like a minute later, you called him dude! The other day you wore a t-shirt! It may have been like one of the only t-shirts you own and yes, I think that it may still have been designer but I thought I was in the Twilight Zone or something!"

Kurt stared at her. Was he not supposed to do those things? What guy spends an hour a day on his skin? He thought dude was just what people called each other, what's wrong with that? He'd noticed on his first day back from the hospital that he owned a lot of weird, high fashion clothes but he didn't wear any of them, they were just strange.

"What wrong with any of that stuff, it's how other people act," he said.

Rachel looked about ready to cry. Kurt stared into his coffee instead of looking her in the eyes, he was terrible with crying people "Yes, Kurt, other people not you. You aren't like other people. You're awesome and unique and stylish. And it's not just that! You've lost a ton of weight that you've never been able to afford to lose and I called your professors, you don't show up to class half of the time. You're luck Isabelle likes you because you don't show up to work at Vogue at all anymore but for some reason she's still keeping your position open. You aren't being the you that I know and love."

Kurt's head snapped up from staring into his mug. Her words had been angering her slowly but the last statement downright pissed him off. He stood up quickly, nearly knocking over his chair.

"You're right I haven't been myself but that might have a little something to do with that I don't know who I am. Or have you forgotten that I have freaking amnesia? I'm sorry that you thought I was going to act the exact same as before my accident but I'm different now!" he yelled. Rachel looked shocked and opened and closed her mouth trying to interrupt the tirade but Kurt wasn't done.

"I don't know how this old guy who you call Kurt acted but me, Kurt now, he's just trying to survive. He isn't sure how to act around people that used to know him and frankly, he doesn't care what they think, he's just trying to figure life out and he doesn't need a bunch of people that he needs to please on top of all of the stress that comes with living life on this planet in general!"

Kurt finished and collapsed back onto his chair and held his head in his hands. Why was life so confusing? Did everyone feel this way? Like the whole world was spinning out of control?

Rachel knelt down next to Kurt and slowly brought his hands away from his face so she could look him in the eyes.

"I'm really sorry Kurt," she said softly, "it wasn't fair of me to think that everything was going to be okay with you. You're just so good at keeping up this strong mask that sometimes I forget you ever changed. Old Kurt liked his ice bitch mask a lot."

Kurt smiled at that. He couldn't help but wonder, who was he? Would he ever get his memories back? And if he did, would he automatically go back to being Old Kurt or would he stay the way he is now.

Kurt than realized that his roommate was still talking.

"-and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change. The truth is Kurt, after Finn, you're the most important person in my life. Without you, I have nothing."

Her last three words struck something in Kurt. A memory. Like an old song that you can hear playing in your head but you can't remember the lyrics to. Someone was singing. No, he was singing. He was singing... "I Have Nothing"? But why? He couldn't remember but that memory, that one little spark, set his heart on fire.

"Rachel, I think I just remembered something," he said.

Rachel looked excited but nervous. She moved slowly towards him as if scared of frightening off the memory. "Really, what is it?" she asked excitedly.

"I'm singing the song 'I Have Nothing'," Kurt said, closing his eyes to get a better picture, "but I can't remember when or why. I'm in front of the glee club. I can tell from the picture you showed me."

He opened his eyes. "Please, tell me I sang 'I Have Nothing' in front of the glee club."

Rachel nodded so quickly, Kurt was sure her head was going to fall off. Her eyes shone with excitement.

"Really!" Kurt squealed, "Who was I singing to?"

Rachel's face fell and she refused to meet Kurt's gaze. "Um, you were singing to an ex. It ended badly, I don't think you want to know."

Kurt nodded in agreement although he was actually dying to know everything about his failed relationships if it meant knowing himself a little more.

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the sounds of the city, before Kurt asked a question.

"Rachel? If Old Kurt were here, what would he say?" Kurt asked.

Rachel looked thoughtful for a moment a sad smile slowly stretching across her face.

"Well first, he would probably bitch at me for an hour for letting him stop his skin routine and wear a t-shirt, but then, I think he'd tell me and FInn not to give up on you or on ourselves, Kurt never was one to give up and God I feel weird about talking about you to you," Rachel said.

Kurt shrugged and said, "We're two different people anyway."

Rachel nodded and continued. "And then I think he'd than tell me to give you the best kind of therapy there is: retail therapy."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting we go shopping?"

Rachel nodded eagerly. "Do you want to?" she asked.

Kurt thought about it. Lately, more like since his accident, he'd been having these urges to do weird things. He always forced the feelings away because he found most of the things he apparently wanted to do were ridiculous but now he got it. Those must have been the things that old Kurt did. Shopping was definitely something he wanted to do.

Kurt looked back at Rachel who was still anxiously awaiting his answer. He smiled at her. "Hell yes I want to go shopping."

Rachel laughed and both of them ran out the door to catch the train to one of the many huge malls in New York.

TBC

A/N: I'm so, so, so, so sorry you guys! I just couldn't bring myself to write but I hope this makes up for it!

Peace, Love, Glee

Julez