Things Unsaid
Part 7
by Trycee
Time-Line: Season 7: Closure. This is told from Scully's perspective. Mulder learns more about his mother, Teena, after her funeral from her relatives.
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-files, this is written for fun, not profit.
I was dressing the deceased body of Corbin Kuipers after completing the autopsy. I was waiting for Mulder to pick me up and I wasn't sure what was taking him so long. My initial assessment was that he had been strangled to death. But I would have to wait on the labs to be sent overnight to the FBI labs for the final report. I was getting a little impatient. I was tired, hungry and ready for a nice bath.
I was enjoying though the occasional glances from a few male admirers, working in the morgue or in the hallways. Fortunately these weren't my usual old and decrepit admirers, these were actual young, attractive men and it made me feel proud that they were noticing me. But, the one that I belonged too and who belonged to me was late and it was getting on my nerves.
A nice good-looking dark-haired doctor spotted me. I was dressed back into my normal clothes, my FBI attire but this doctor had noticed me before. "Still waiting?", he asked.
"Yes," I answered.
"Well, you might as well go back and get changed," he said, referring to the Morgue's locker room. "There's another body coming in. You're partner ordered that it come directly to you."
I was tired, Mulder knew I was tired, but for him, he wanted answers and it didn't matter if I dropped from exhaustion, he wanted them now.
"Is there an I.D. of the body?", I stuttered.
"Tom Jr. Kuipers," he said. "Committed suicide."
I was stunned.
"You could use some coffee or maybe something to eat. I'm heading towards the cafeteria, would you like to join me? My treat."
I smiled and kind of looked around me to see if I could spot Mulder. I didn't see him. "Sure," I said.
I felt guilty walking with this Doctor Good-Looking. I noticed that when Mulder and I were close in a case like as the Petrie's or in this case, it took me awhile to feel like we weren't coupled anymore. There was this residual effect that I had where my body and mind are all convinced that we are together and only after a few days after the case is over that my mind registers that it isn't the case. Truthfully, we know that we are in our hearts. I can see it in Mulder's eyes nowadays. Ever since our New Year's kiss, things have changed dramatically between us. We weren't partner's any more, we were more...but yet we hadn't acknowledged it. We now openly flirted with each other. Mulder's innuendoes were more like a promise than a tease and so walking and sitting down with this man, I felt like I was cheating. My mind was saying, it's just coffee and a sandwich, but my heart was saying, "What if Mulder see's you?".
"You seem a little distracted, Dr ?", he said, fishing for my name.
"Scully," I answered.
"You waiting for someone?", he said, taking a sip of his own coffee.
I looked up into his dark brown eyes for a moment, I noticed his good looks and nice build, but he wasn't for me. "Yes, my partner," I answered.
"He's coming with the body?"
"I'm assuming yes," I said.
My phone rang and I answered, "Scully."
"Hey, it's me. Looks like Jr. off'd himself."
"I heard," I answered.
"He left a note saying he felt responsible for his brother's death."
"You're poor Uncle..."
Mulder was quiet. "I tried reaching him but he kept hanging up on me. I think he blames me, Scully."
"It's not your fault, Mulder," I said, realizing that history was repeating itself. Once again, another family member was blaming Mulder for another's demise.
"Where are you?", he asked.
"I'm in the cafeteria of the hospital," I said.
"Oh, I was just going to get you some coffee," he said. "There you are."
I turned around and saw him approaching me. I know my eyes had to have lit up at the sight of him, I was a little embarrassed because that was my normal reaction when I saw Mulder. I saw that Doctor Good-Looking look a little defeated. I watch as Mulder approached me, but he was not looking at me, he was looking at Doctor Good-Looking. He glanced down sharply at me and I got worried for a moment. We were growing stronger and closer, the last thing I needed him to think was that I was 'talking' to another man. "Mulder," I said, finally.
"Scully," he said, looking from me to the doctor then back to me.
"This is Doctor...?"
"Cambridge," he said, extending a hand to Mulder. "I work the morgue," he smiled.
Mulder did not look amused.
"Is the body here?", I asked innocently.
"Yeah, but this was clear-cut, Scully," he said. "He actually video-taped his own suicide."
"Video-tapped it?", I said, surprised. After all the various cases, this should not surprise me but it does.
"He wanted there to be no question that he killed himself, he said, for his parents sake."
"Oh," I said, quietly.
"Look," Mulder said, looking again at the doctor and then back to me. "I'm sure he can handle this. You need some rest and something decent to eat," he said, noticing my untouched sandwich.
I stood up and offered the plastic-wrapped sandwich to the doctor who accepted it. "Thanks for the coffee break."
"No problem," he said.
I turned and Mulder placed his hand on my back, claiming me as his. We walked quietly back towards the hospital entrance and to the car. I glanced at him and he looked irritated. Was it because of his cousin's suicide or was it because of me?
"Mulder?", I said, as a question and a statement.
"You can't miss what you don't have, Scully," he said. "I didn't know the guy or his brother. I knew nothing of them."
"I know but it still has to hurt, Mulder."
"Not really, " he said, as he drove off.
I noticed that he was quiet and I wanted to reassure him of...everything and so I reached over and touched his arm. He glanced at me and my head was hung low. I don't know why I felt so guilty, I didn't do anything wrong, but I felt like I had. I could tell that Mulder understood how I was feeling because he reached over and tilted my chin up so I was looking him in the eye. He said nothing, just stared at me as I did him. It was a moment between us and I saw the shift in his eyes from jealousy and anger to love and understanding. I suddenly relaxed. A car honked its horn behind us breaking the spell and he pulled off.
After eating a decent meal as Mulder considered it at a local greasy spoon, we came back to the hotel. I could see he didn't want us to part either as we walked into our separate rooms. I sighed as I glanced at the bed knowing that I would be sleeping in it alone tonight. After a well-deserved bath, I sank into the covers and fell asleep.
I was awakened by my cell phone ringing in my ears. "Scully?", I said.
"Can you come here?", I heard him say in a sad quiet voice.
"Be right there," I said.
I tossed on my robe and slippers and then grabbed my room-key. This would be so much easier if these had adjoined rooms, but they weren't. Its two a.m. and I have to be careful, I was grabbed once doing the same thing trying to reach Mulder's room, fortunately it wasn't someone who would've harmed me. So, I'm especially careful even though he's right next door. I knocked and he didn't answer. I knew what that meant, he was crying. I opende and closed his door quickly and walked in the pitch darkness over to his bed. He was laying there in his boxer shorts, shirtless of course, with the phone next to him. He's buried in his pillow and I placed a soft hand on his back. "Mulder," I say quietly.
The next thing I know I was being gripped tightly against him, his hands running up along my back and sides. I was about to blank out from the intensity of his touch but my mind was racing. What was this? I was afraid that if I asked, he'd stop. "Promise me," he cried across my shoulder. "That you won't leave me, Scully. Promise me!"
"Mulder," I said, soothingly, pulling back to look him in the eyes. I ran my hand in his hair and kissed his forehead for a very long time. I looked into his eyes and then kissed his eyelid. "Never," I said. "I'll never, ever leave you."
"No one ever wants me," he said.
"I want you," I said. "I need you," I said.
He nodded. "I want you...", he sniffled. "I need you so much, Scully," he said, gripping me so tightly.
I was keenly aware of our bodies pressed against each other but all I wanted in that moment was to console him just as I had after his mother's death which had triggered all this. Suddenly, I grew angry. I wished he had never met his uncle and grandmother because here he was rejected by another family member, crying into my arms. "You and I are family, Mulder," I said, firmly. "You and I...we're our own family," I stated.
Mulder lowered his lips to my brow and kissed it over and over, sending shivers in every nook and cranny in my body. "We are," he said. "We're our own family...just me and you."
"That's right," I said.
After a long silence with Mulder's lips to my hairline, he scooted back with me in tow and laid down. I threw my arm across his waist and vice versa, staring into his eyes, until he closed them, attempting to sleep. Finally, we both fell asleep comfortably and as naturally as it always was for us.
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