With one more stroke and a low moan, Sam got his release. He went to the bathroom to clean himself and guilt filled him.
"God, what am I doing?! This is so wrong Sam, so wrong..." he said splashing water in his face.
He went back to his research but found only a few informations but none of them made sense. At the early night hours Sam crashed down beside Dean. His head and chest ached, he was full of doubts and confused.
Hours later Sam woke up and found himself alone in their bed.
"Dean?" he called getting no answer.
He got up and called again, "Dean, are you at home?"
"Yeah, Sammy... in the living room" Dean said stop writing in his journal and looking at Sam from the couch.
"I thought you're gone..."
"Gone?"
"To..."
"Sean's?"
"Yeah..." Sam said shyly and playing with his short's waistband.
Dean couldn't help and smiled.
"Not tonight, Sam... not tonight..." He closed his journal and approached his brother.
"What you're writing? I've seen you writing on it the other time..."
"As I said... a few notes..."
"Hungry?"
"Nah... I've eaten already. I woke a couple of hours ago and ate... But I can make you company..." Dean said pulling Sam closer and nibbling Sam's ear making him gulp.
"Dean, no... please... don't..."
"Why?" *still nibbling*
"We've talk about this before" gasping "Oh God please, stop!"
"Why are doing this to me? Now it's my turn to say, you're making me confused! One time you come to me and let me kiss you, kiss me back, and then you do this!"
"I-I'm sorry, Dean... I-I don't know... We can't, this is so wrong! You're my brother for God's sake!"
"But you want it..." Dean says licking Sam's neck hearing him hiss "Kiss me Sammy..." he says pulling his brother by the neck and kissing him deeply.
It was a slow kiss, Dean put all his feelings on it, caressing Sam's cheek. Sam grunted and pulled Dean closer as the kiss got more urgently their hands started to touch one another and they were moving to the desk. Dean put Sam sat on the table opening his legs and positioning himself between them. He scratched Sam's back making him moan breaking the kiss arching.
"Don't stop kissing me" Dean whispered.
Sam wrapped his legs around Dean's waist and kissed him again feeling their hard on. With a click in the back of his head Sam opened his eyes and broke the kiss.
"No! Stop it! No, no, no, no!" He pushed Dean away and got up from the table. "Don't do this to me Dean, please! Oh God!"
"Ok, Sam... I won't. I promise. This was the last time I tried something... I'll move on" Dean said sighing going back to the couch and writing again in his journal.
"Dean-"
"It's ok, Sam. I don't want to talk about this anymore."
"But Dean-"
"I said I don't want to talk about this. Want me to leave??"
"No!!"
"Then shut up and leave me alone!"
On the next day, during classes, Sam noticed that Sean wasn't at the classroom. He took the time to find something with the other students about the guy's murderer. He got a few info and went to meet Dean at his job.
"Hey Dean, I think I found something!" He said smiling.
"Cool! Sean too"
"Yeah, basically I think I've found 'everything' " Sean said appearing and smiling at Sam "I was investigating, that's why I haven't gone to classes"
"Oh..." Sam said sadly and Sean started speaking.
"Well, the guy's called Jason Bennett, he's from Boston and had a girlfriend called Laureen Richards in his hometown. If I'm not mistaken, he was cheating on his girlfriend-"
"Well... we don't need gossips from the students..." Sam said bored.
"I would like to conclude... Ok, so, as I was saying, he was cheating on Laureen and that night he went out with this redheaded girl and took her to his room and then he was dead. No, dear Sam, she isn't the woman in white. Actually I've made some researches about it and I found something about 'Banshees' "
"Banshees? What is it?" Sam said.
"It's a kind of fairy... well... a cursed one."
"I don't get it..."
"When I talked to a few students all of them said that Jason died with a smile on his face"
"Yeah.. I've heard about it too"
"Exactly! Banshees kill their victims singing. They're very beautiful but her song is an awful one, you don't have time to scream nothing just be happy with that pretty face in front of you, and your blood is drained, no marks or scars"
"Ok... so what does this Laureen girl has to do with the banshee?"
"Banshees attack mostly men, who cheat. Fairies can't fall in love with human, and when it happens they're cursed and become banshees and they kill their loved one and so those ones who cheat their girlfriends"
"Well... now... how we're going to find this redheaded girl?" Sam asked.
"We've already found her" Dean said smiling.
"We have?" Sam asked.
"Yup! I told you Sean is a genius!" Dean said with a proud smile making Sam wince.
"Rahne Sinclair" Sean said showing a picture.
"She's gourgeous!" Sam said.
"You haven't recognized her right, Sam?"
"Me?? Why should I??" he asked confused.
"The Tangiers' girl" Sean said smiling.
"No, it's impossible! Her name was Amie!"
"Nope. I'm pretty much sure it's her. I've made others researches and she had lived in various other places, and where she lived all of her boyfriends died in the same way. She uses false names"
Sean showed the papers with information of other murderers, dates and pictures of this Amie.
"But it doesn't make any sense!"
"Why?" Dean and Sean asked.
"Because... if the banshees go looking for men who cheat, then why she was talking to me that night??"
"Maybe she was testing you? Trying to get information" Dean said.
"Or... you could have cheated on your last girlfriend..." Sean said.
"WHAT?? Don't you never said that again!!!" Sam said griping Sean's shirt with his face all red with anger "I never cheated on Jessica, I would never!!!"
"Are you sure??"
"What do you mean???" And then Sean looked at Dean.
Sam froze.
He knew.
Sean knew bout him and Dean.
'No... Dean is now... I never knew I-Oh God...'
And then Sam remembered all the times when he and Dean were growing up, Dean teaching him all the things, playing with him. Sam always looked at him worshiping him. All the times he was afraid, scared of the dark, needing help, it was always Dean, never their father. The first day Dean came home with a girlfriend, Sam remembered well, he made a scene, threatened his girlfriend, Dean broke up with her later that.
'He did it because of me! He didn't want me sad... I never liked seeing him with someone...'
"Remembered something, Sam?" Sean asked seeing Sam loose his grip.
"What?? You are telling me-You... You're crazy, man! Dean's my brother!!"
"And?"
"And I never felt anything for him! I could never feel! This is incest! It's immoral!"
"And it doesn't matter with who you fall in love with"
"You're crazy... both of you!" Sam said running away from Dean's job.
Sean looked at Dean, who was with his head down.
"It's over, Sean. I should have known this was insanity... I made a huge mistake telling him what I feel... I should have kept it to myself!"
And Sean saw tears.
"Don't say that, Dean"
"I do! I do!... What I'm gonna do now?? He won't ever look at me again! He won't speak to me!" Dean said holding Sean.
"It's ok... we'll work this out alright? Let's go find this banshee girl and we'll see what we're gonna do. I'm gonna call Sam"
Sam got home crying hard, 'I can't be in love with Dean, never! He's my brother! But why is aching so much seeing him hurt?? Seeing him with someone else?? He wasn't even looking at me! I can't'
"I can't!" He said throwing a lamp that was near him against the wall and falling on his knees, hiding his face in his hands sobbing.
His phone was ringing but he knew it was Dean, he didn't want to answer it. He wasn't ready. 'Damn it! This thing won't stop ringing??' He thought grabbing his cell phone, to throw it too when he saw an unknown number. He controlled himself, sniffed and answers it.
"Hello?"
"Sam, it's Sean. Don't hang up, please! We have to get this banshee, and we need you, we have to work together!"
"But I don't want to! I'm tired and sick of all this! I want my life back, I want you both disappear! Leave me alone!" He yelled hanging up and turning off his cell sobbing again.