A nice, quiet rotation around New Vulcan. Right. At least it wasn't Romulans, Sam thought hysterically.
"Bridge to engineering -"
"Forward shields at 15% -"
"Weapons are not responding -"
"On it!" Jim snapped, shoving Ensign Chekov to the side. Her fingers swarmed across holo keys.
"Captain, we are being hailed," Lieutenant Uhura called.
"Put it on screen," Pike ordered. She complied, and the face of a one-eyed Klingon shimmered into focus on the main screen.
"Greetings, Captain," rumbled the creature in passable Standard.
"Sir," Pike answered. "Why do you attack us?"
"You are in my way," said the Klingon simply. "As a courtesy, I hail you so that you may know the name and face of your demise - General Chang of the Dakronh. May you meet your deaths with whatever honor you possess."
"Wait a minute!" said Pike. "There is no need for violence. Let us determine a mutual solution to our problem."
"Indeed, your actions are illogical and unnecessary," Spock added calmly. As a student of many cultures, he knew his words would not help.
The General made a disgusted noise and moved his massive hand in a cutting gesture. "Cease your pathetic sniveling, human, and accept your place beneath our heel!"
An unexpected voice cut through the stifling air. "I beg your fucking pardon," said Jim as she stood, "but where the hell do you get off calling us pathetic when you're the ones firing experimental disruptors on a research vessel?" Pike stood to reprimand her, but stopped when he saw the man on-screen turn.
General Chang paused, and his face momentarily reflected surprise. "Who addresses me?" he demanded.
"I am Samantha Jameson Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise," she said proudly. "And you... you're a bully."
"Ignorant P'Tok," Chang scoffed.
"Twice reviled blHnuch!" she shot back fearlessly. The crew stared. Chang roared.
"You are like a grub worming in the dark, blind and consuming your neighbor's filth!" he bellowed.
"And you are like a pujwI' crushing ants beneath your feet to feel mighty!" she challenged.
"bIjatlh 'e' yImev! If you were a man, I would prove upon your puling body the might of my fists!"
"If you are too low to fight a woman, bring forth your mother," Jim said coldly. "I will accept her in your stead." Lieutenant Uhura sucked in a horrified breath, but General Chang was eyeing Jim with something akin to grudging respect.
"Very well, qoH," he said after a pause. "You will be permitted to board my ship." His eyes gleamed. "There your human crew will witness as I rend your limbs from you, and they will acknowledge their doom."
"And when you fall beneath my blade, your successor will release my compatriots," Jim countered.
("What the hell is happening?" Pike whispered fiercely to his second.)
"I accept your futile terms." They nodded at each other, and the connection was cut.
*P'Tok - filthy human child
*blHnuch - coward
*pujwl' - weakling
*bIjatlh 'e' ylmev - Shut your mouth/Cease talking/Shut up
*qoH - fool
"I am the Captain, God damn it!" Pike was shouting. "You DO NOT get to make these kinds of decisions over my head! You aren't even enlisted!"
Dr. Kirk wheeled around and glared up at Pike with fierce, quelling force. "And what exactly was your plan? Keep talking at him until you got sucked into space and didn't have any air left to make noise? This is the only chance we've got!" Tossing her magnificent head, she punched the elevator controls. Spock felt the downward momentum somewhere in the pit of his stomach. He was reeling.
"Mark my words, we will talk about this later," Pike hissed. Spock understood his rage. This was unconscionable. This was monstrous. Jim sighed.
"No, Christopher, we won't," she said tiredly. "Because I'm not coming back. You know that." Behind his friend and his captain, Spock made an involuntary noise, then stiffened. Now of all times was not the moment to lose control... but his heart was beginning to pound in his side. His blood flowed loud in his ears.
She glanced back at him, eyes softening. "Can I borrow your lirpa?" she asked. "Well... borrow is the wrong term. Can I have it? I think I can safely say Chris and the crew will chip in to buy you a new one if this works." And, incredibly, she smiled.
"You may have it," Spock told her thickly. He swallowed. Accordingly they halted the elevator, and the three of them moved towards his rooms. As the door whooshed open (how he loathed that cheerful whooshing now), he was acutely aware that this was the last time he would see her here, surrounded by his things, filling his air with her strange human fragrance. His jaw clenched. He lifted the weapon down from its rack on the wall and handed it to her. She hefted it, assessing its weight in her ludicrously small hands. "It is heavy," he said to her uselessly.
"It's like a staff," she said. "I studied ninjitsu in college. I think I can hold my own with it... for long enough." Carefully, she set it down on his bed, then stripped her outer layer off and stood in a black regulation tank top. She cracked her neck. "Okay. Time to go."
"Jim..." he and Pike said simultaneously.
"Don't," she admonished them lightly. She lifted her huge, brilliant, unmatchable eyes to Spock's flushed face. "The needs of the many, right?"
"You read The Principles of Surak," he surmised. His heart would surely burst.
Then they were back in the elevator, and they had reached Engineering. She was walking swiftly to the transport pad, Scotty trailing her. "As soon as you see us begin the fight, you jump," she was telling him. "You warp the fuck out of here. Find a gas giant, something huge with a big gravity bubble, and cloak, you understand me? The new tech's integrated. I didn't get a chance to test it but it'll work. You hide, and you cloak, and you keep your signature low until you're sure it's safe."
Scotty was red-eyed, wringing his hands. "It ent supposed to be like this!"
"Sure it is," she told him, pausing to clap him on the shoulder. "All our hard work, paying off. You guys make it, I get to be a hero, everyone wins."
"No," wept the Scotsman.
"This is ridiculous," said Pike, now openly distressed. "I can't let you do this."
"We don't have a choice," said Jim. "Don't make this harder for me. Get back to the bridge, prepare your team." She reached out and clasped his hand in a firm shake before he could jump back. "It's been a pleasure." At last she turned to Spock.
For a moment, she didn't seem to have any words. Then she lifted a timid hand and brushed her fingers over his wrist. "Please take care of yourself," she said.
"Beam trajectory locked in," came Ensign Chekov's voice over the comm.
"That's my cue," said Jim, stepping onto the pad, lirpa clutched awkwardly at her side.
"Jimmy -" Scotty wailed. "Energize," she said, and he slammed a fist against the button with a wretched little sob.
As soon as her form faded, Spock was on the pad. "Quickly. Before they close shields," he hissed. Scotty blinked at him, and Pike opened his mouth to protest. "NOW!" Spock ordered, and then he was dematerializing, following Jim into the unknown.