Fallen Angels Rise
A/N: Argh, I didn't make my writing goals. Life is going to be crazy for about another month, but then everything will die down really fast. My goal is to get three or more chapters out between now and then. I was hoping for some reviews on that last chapter, it took me a while and I want to make sure I'm getting things right, at least in terms of your expectations and wishes. Anyways, on to the story.
Chapter 7: Lessons in Patience
Upon realizing that Jace was next to her, Clary smiled sleepily to herself. Checking the clock on her nightstand, she realized it was just after four in the morning. Her alarm being three hours away from going off, Clary decided she could spare a little bit of time to stay awake for a short while. She turned around to face Jace and kissed him. This brought him out of a dead sleep, but he was not quite awake. She kissed him again and his eyes opened lazily.
"What time is it?" He asked.
"Shhh, that doesn't matter," Clary replied, silencing what he was about to say with another kiss. Jace pulled her in closer to him, wrapping one arm around her waist and moving his other hand up to her hair. He could never get enough of feeling those ringlets wrap around and then slip through his fingers. He returned the kiss, deepening it further.
Clary moved to climb on top of her boyfriend, but he stopped her from doing so, "Not right now," he said. She looked at him with concern.
"What's wrong? Is everything alright?" Clary asked.
"Nothing is wrong, this is all so very right," he said, his voice rather husky due to just having woken up. "I'm just exhausted right now. I'm here because I was up late thinking about what tomorrow afternoon holds. I realized that I am being forced to leave you alone with the monster and then I couldn't bear the thought of choosing to leave you by yourself when I didn't have to."
Looking into his eyes searchingly, Clary tried to see all that she could about the feelings of the boy laying next to her. "It'll all be okay! You can be right outside the library the whole time, if you want, and my lessons won't take very long." She tried again to straddle Jace and he still prevented her from doing so.
"If it's alright with you, I'd rather wait to do tis until I'm not thinking about your… brother."
Clary rolled onto her side, her back now turned to Jace again. "Fine, we can wait," she said with a sigh.
"Thank you," Jace said softly, knowing that she'd still stay upset. He drew her in close and held her there as they went back to sleep.
Three hours later, the alarm went off. Clary reached up to hit the snooze button and then buried herself under the covers again for the next nine minutes. Jace groaned as Clary wiggled herself backwards into him. He drew her in close and kissed the nape of her neck, nuzzling into her. Inhaling her scent, he held on to her more tightly.
"Well good morning to you too!" Clary said softly, realizing she wasn't going to get back to sleep. She was still slightly miffed about Jace's disinterest from earlier, but his current advanced plus Clary's realization of how tired they both were caused her resolve to quickly deteriorate. Jace loosened his group on her just enough to allow Clary to turn around and face him. She craned her neck up and kissed him lightly, but in his eagerness he deepened the kiss right away.
Jace pulled Clary up on top of him, as she wished to do earlier, and looked up at her. She sat up, rising until she was sitting up straight, making her torso perpendicular to his. "God you're beautiful!" Jace murmured breathlessly and barely audibly, putting his strong hands on either side of her tiny waist.
Giving Jace a sultry look, Clary bit her lip before leaning down to kiss him again. Their hands were immediately all over each other's body, exploring places that had been forgotten in their lack of private time. Just as things were beginning to heat up more, their unlucky streak continued with a sharp knock on the door. Clary sprung off of Jace, rolling next to him, pulling the covers up to her neck. Jace groaned loudly, his frustration clear.
"Clary, are you awake?" It was Maryse.
Giving herself a moment to compose herself and try to settle her racing heart, Clary replied, "Yeah, just enjoying my firs morning here!" She winced as she heard herself, her voice still rather shaky.
"Okay, I just wanted to make sure you got up okay. You know where the kitchen is and when training starts." They could hear her receding footsteps.
Clary let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She turned to look at Jace who flashed her a devilish smile. He kissed her again, catching her by surprise. "So, where were we?" Before Clary could reply, her stomach let out a long, low growl. She blushed as he looked at him sheepishly.
"Sorry…" She began.
"Don't apologize for things that are out of your control," Jace replied. "Besides, you can't escape me for too much longer." He winked and then kissed her lightly before getting out of bed.
"Where are you going?" Clary asked, a hint of a whine in her voice.
"I have to go change my clothes. I'll meet you in the kitchen," and with that he turned to leave.
"Wait! Don't go yet!" Clary exclaimed. Jace turned around, looking slightly confused, slightly exasperated. Before he could say anything though, Clary was out from under the covers and launching herself at him. She jumped and he caught her effortlessly. She wrapped her legs around his waist. Then Clary gave Jace the most passionate kiss she could muster, and it was powerful. She broke off the kiss, leaning back slightly to smile at him.
"Well that was unexpected," Jace said neutrally, the hint of a smile tugged at his mouth though, betraying him.
"I didn't want you to think I wasn't interested," Clary replied, unwrapping her legs from around his waist and sliding gently to the floor.
"How could you not be interested in me?" He asked cockily.
She gave him a look, still wishing she knew how to raise just one eyebrow. "Go get changed, I'll meet you in the kitchen." He stole one more quick kiss from her and then did just that.
After breakfast, training began like normal. Clary was somewhat disappointed that the desires from the physical affection from that morning were seemingly not still lingering for Jace as they were for her. He was very focused, determined to be productive this morning.
Instead of continuing to practice with the throwing stars, Jace wanted Clary to master some defensive moves. Clary was fully aware of his motives and went along with it, she would have to learn these eventually. But when she'd been flipped and thrown on her back for what felt like the hundredth time, she'd had enough.
"Jace, I'm obviously not going to learn this stuff today, can we work on something else?" Clary asked.
"No, these are important. Get up, we'll try again," Jace replied. Clary stayed where she was on the floor. It made her feel like a child, but she ached too much to care. "Clary, you have to know how to defend yourself," Jace said, his voice pleading.
Getting to her feet, Clary moved towards Jace and held his hands in hers. Looking up into his eyes, she said, "I know I do, and I will learn to do so, it'll just take some time."
He looked away from her, down towards the ground. "You don't have any time," he said solemnly.
"Jace…" She began, trailing off as she waited for him to look at her again. When he finally did, she continued, "I'm not very pleased with the arrangement either, but we can't prevent it from happening anymore. It's just going to be two hours, and then I'm good for another day. I can't learn all of these defensive moves in one day, and if we keep trying, I might learn maybe one, but I'll be too sore to actually do it if I need to this afternoon." Jace did not fail to see the logic in her statements, but was still not thrilled.
"Fine, but training isn't over. Go get the throwing stars, I'll se t up the targets," he said with resign. Clary stood up on her tiptoes, managing to kiss him on the chin and thanked him.
They spent the rest of the morning working on her accuracy and fine-tuning her form. Right before lunch, Jace was able to just sit back and watch Clary throw.
"You know she can't take those with her this afternoon, don't you?" Alec asked quietly, coming up behind Jace to watch.
"I thought I could sneak one out and give it to her right before she went in," Jace replied.
Alec smirked. "Of course you did. But you know perfectly well that she will be fully shaken down. They're still protecting him from us."
"Is Maryse really that suspicious of Clary?" Jace asked.
"No, you're just that predictable," Alec replied with a snort. "I wouldn't worry too much about Clary though, she'd resourceful and has already shown once before that she can hold her own against – him."
Jace sighed, looking over at Alec now. "Sometimes I wish I didn't care so much."
"Don't ever wish that," Alec replied, somewhat harshly. "Don't ever wish away your ability to love and show your love. It's more important than you think."
"Alec, I didn't mean to…" Jace began, shocked by the sudden change in the conversation.
"It's alright. We don't need to talk about it," Alec replied, turning to walk away.
Calling behind him, Jace said, "Don't let your ability slip away." Just as Alec was about to reply, Clary released a shriek of excitement having hit a series of targets perfectly. Alec just gave Jace a halfhearted smile and proceeded to leave to wash up for lunch.
"Did you see that?" Clary exclaimed.
"Yeah! That was great!" Jace lied, his mind still on the conversation with Alec. He felt a bit guilty that he hadn't been paying attention to Clary, but she would probably understand if he ever had to explain. "Why don't we leave on a high note and go get washed up before lunch?"
Clary bit her lip but then nodded her head and walked towards Jace. "Oh wait! I've got to go clean up," she paused, and went to turn around.
"Don't worry about it, I'll pick them up… later." Jace said a bit awkwardly, not wanting to directly mention the impending activities for the afternoon.
At lunch, it was clear that no one wanted to discuss that topic. There was a strange, tense silence hanging in the air. They only sounds in the kitchen were those related to eating.
"So what's everyone going tonight? I thought we could go see Simon or something?" Clary suggested, finally breaking the silence.
"Oh, well, Simon and I were going to go on a date… Just the two of us," Isabelle replied, her voice apologetic, but her face and body language demonstrated her excitement.
"That sounds fun! Alec, do you want to do anything?" Clary asked.
"I have plans too," was all he said in response. Clary noticed a look between Alec and Jace and was about to say something, but Jace spoke first.
"Looks like you're stuck with me tonight!" He said cheerily, "What would you like to do?"
"Surprise me," Clary said with a wink.
"There goes my appetite," Isabelle said, getting up from her seat to wash her already cleared plate.
"I think I'm going to go too," said Alec, also getting up to leave.
Jace wrapped his arms around Clary. "Oooh, alone time in the kitchen!" He joked. Isabelle blanched.
"If I ever see your bare butt on my counters, you'll be scrubbing the entire institute with a toothbrush!" Maryse said, coming through the kitchen door. Clary froze, blushing profusely.
Still feeling mischievous, Jace bent down and whispered softly in Clary's ear, "She didn't say anything about your bare butt." Clary managed the impossible and blushed even harder. Maryse just gave Jace a look of mock consternation.
"There are throwing stars all over the weapons room," Maryse said to Jace, her instructions for him clear. He kissed Clary on the top of her head and gave her hands a reaffirming squeeze. He was trying his best to let what Alec said put him at ease. Softening her expression as she looked to Clary, Maryse asked, "Are you ready?"
Clary nodded her head and followed Maryse out of the kitchen. She knew how to get to the library, so she assumed Maryse was escorting her to make sure she actually went. Upon reaching the door however, she discovered the other reason for the escort. "Turn out your pockets please Clary," Maryse requested politely and somewhat awkwardly. Clary complied. "It's not that we don't trust you, its just procedure." Then she proceeded to pat down Clary's legs. "I will also need your stele." Clary gave the woman a pleading look, but handed it over without a word, knowing better than to argue. "You'll be alright, I promise." Maryse said, giving Clary's should a reaffirming squeeze before opening the library door. She stepped in and the door closed behind her. Taking a deep breathe, Clary proceeded towards the center of the library where she saw the pale haired boy already sitting. Clary hovered awkwardly behind a chair across from him.
He looked up at her with a nervous smile, "You can sit down over here if you want."
"Here is fine," Clary replied snappily, pulling out the chair across from Jonathan and sitting down.
"I thought we might start with some a lesson about the history of shadowhunters?" Jonathan suggested. He seemed nervous, and that made Clary suspicious.
"I've already done a lot of history work," Clary replied.
"Oh, uh, well, then what would you like to study?" Jonathan asked.
"Runes," Clary answered.
"I can't really teach you that, it's just a lot of reading, memorizing, and copying from the books," Jonathan said.
"I know," Clary retorted, contempt clear in her voice.
"Oh, well, I guess it's important to study so that you can get your permanent marks," Jonathan replied weakly.
Clary was so thrown off by this that she almost felt bad for him. Almost. "Listen, let's not kid ourselves. We both know that I don't want to be here and we both know that I don't trust you. The last interaction we had before I… stabbed you was you trying to force me to drink demon blood to turn me into some kind of hybrid freak. The last time we were alone, you tried to rape me. My… our mother says you've change, but I have no reason to believe that that is true. So until you can prove that to me, and I don't really know how that will be done, I don't have much to say to you."
A silence so great filled the library when Clary finished speaking that she began to hear a ringing in her ears. Jonathan was looking at her, processing what she had said. She was watching him even more closely, looking for even the tiniest hint or flash of rage to fly across his features as she had seen in him before.
After what felt like half an hour has passed, Jonathan finally spoke. "Thank you for being honest with me. I know you held no good feelings for me, so it is reliving to know what you actually feel. I understand why you feel this way, and while I do not know how to prove to you that I am different, I hope that over time that becomes apparent." Clary only nodded to show that she heard what he had said. "I guess you know where everything is, I'll be here if you have any questions." With that, Clary set to work, the remainder of her two hours flying by.
Jonathan let her know when the time was up, and Clary gave him a nod and a curt "Thanks." She put away the things she was using and headed towards the door. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Jonathan sitting sideways in his chair looking down at his lap. In a flash of guilt, Clary stopped and added, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
He looked up at her, smiling nervously, "I can't wait!"
Shocked by the genuine enthusiasm and still suspicious of the boy, Clary gave him a weak smile back and slipped out the door. She almost found herself falling back into the library though as she crashed into a solid figure on her way out. A pair of strong, familiar arms caught her though, preventing her from falling as they closed the door behind her.
"Jace!" Clary exclaimed in surprise, "What are you doing here?"
"I was coming in to make sure you were okay. When you didn't come out right away, I began to worry," he replied, loosening his grip on her now that she was steady on her feet.
"When I didn't come out right away? Were you sitting her the whole time?" Clary asked, accusation tingeing her voice. She wasn't quite sure what she was accusing him of, she had suggested that he stay out here earlier in the morning.
"Not the whole time. I cleaned up the mess you left in the weapons room first and Maryse chased me away once," Jace replied.
"You told me to leave the weapons room that way, that you were going to clean it up!" Clary protested, deciding to avoid going back to why she seemed upset about Jace sitting outside the door.
She had no such luck. "Why did you accuse me of waiting for you?" Jace asked. Clary couldn't read any sort of tone in his voice. It was maddeningly neutral.
"Because you have better things to do with your time than wait around for me," she rpied.
Jace stepped in front of Clary and stopped abruptly. Stooping down to look straight into her eyes he said slowly, "I have nothing more important to do than keep you safe."
Clary blushed in response. She never really knew how to reply to Jace's proclamations of love. Instead she stood there feeling stupid, wishing she could come up with these romantic declarations as frequently and beautifully as he could. "I love you," was all she could manage, but apparently that was enough for Jace. He enveloped her in a hug and held her close.
Alec took a deep breath before he pushed the buzzer. He wasn't quite sure he was ready for this, but he had made it this far and really couldn't turn back now. "Come up." The voice said dully from the speaker. The lock clicked open and Alec pushed in the door. He walked up the stairs that had seemed so familiar only a month ago –less than that—full of apprehension. He knocked on the door and heard footsteps approaching. The door opened and Alec's heart jumped into is throat upon seeing the man standing there.
"Well are you going to just stand there or are you going to come in?" Magnus Bane asked. Alec realized he'd just been standing there stupidly and walked into the apartment. "I know you didn't leave anything behind, so what are you really here for?"
"I just wanted to talk," Alec said, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"Well then talk," Magnus replied, taking a seat on the couch and gesturing towards a seat across from him.
Alec gratefully took the seat. "I just wanted to apologize again for what I did. The more time that passes, the more I am horrified by my actions. What I had been contemplating – what I almost did—was not only selfish, but it was basically murder. Allowing you to die, even if of old age, is murder, because you are not meant to die. This has been a really dramatic time for me. Four months ago I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life pining after Jace, trying to find a way to be okay with never having my affections returned. And then the impossible happened. I met you, and even though I was so stubborn and resistant, you kept at it. Finally I came to my senses, and being loved by you was the best thing to ever happen to me. And I threw it all away." He fell silent.
"If you want to apologize, then do so," Magnus said.
"What?" Alec asked, confused.
"You said you wanted to apologize, but you haven't yet. If you want to apologize, you need to actually do it," Magnus explained.
"I'm sorry," Alec said, and then another flood of words came rushing out. "I'm sorry for being so selfish. I'm sorry for being so greedy. I'm sorry for seeming so distant, so uncaring. I'm sorry for not even asking what you wanted."
"Well, I guess that's a start," Magnus sighed, "But you have a long way to go."
"Maybe this will help," Alec began, needing to take another breath. This next admission was going to take a lot out of him. "I'm sorry I never really opened up to you. I was just so scared all the time. I was scared of who I was, I was scared of what would happen to me when I finally admitted the truth. I was scared that you wouldn't want to wait around for me. I was scared of loving you. I was scared of losing you. I never knew how to show affection, I only saw my parents and the way Jace would treat the string of girls he didn't care about. I was scared of giving you too much of myself and getting hurt. But I've learned that I hurt too, despite the distance I kept, because loving someone hurts. I think it's supposed to hurt, because the person you love is also the one who makes the pain go away," Alec explained.
"Alec, stop." Magnus said sternly. "You're not going to change my mind in a night. I've lived too long and seen too much for that to happen. But you know that I still love you."
Alec looked as if he were about to cry, but his tears did not fall. "I understand," he replied softly, getting up to leave.
"Where are you going?!" Magnus asked, stunned.
"You don't seem to want me here anymore, so I thought I'd let myself out," Alec answered.
"You really need to work on your listening skills. I was not dismissing you. In fact, I was going to ask if you wanted to get some dinner," Magnus said.
A giant grin spread across Alec's face, "I'll buy."
A/N: There! A little gift for the Malec fans as an apology. Now I'm setting off to start writing the next chapter now! Enjoy!