Title: Secret Identity II
Author: Black Rainbow
Chapter: 7/?
Status: on-going, quite unedited
Genre: AU, yaoi
Archive: pinkbutterflies, if for some reason you want it, e-mail me. ^^
Disclaimer: me only own the original characters and story… Takehiko Inoue owns SD characters, Jahnna N. Malcolm band name, and songs.
Warnings: crossdressing. characters will probably be very OOC, as I don't really know a lot about them.
-__- Sorry about that.
Chapter Seven
(this chapter goes to everyone who's reading this! ^__^)
Jin looked at the sleeping Fujima on his couch, and smiled. He yawned and walked towards his kitchen, and started to make sandwiches. That day had been a 'no-day' to them – just lazing around, watching television and talking and listening to CDs. Then Fujima fell asleep on the couch.
He turned back to take another look at the sleeping figure. Fujima had seemed so tired lately, which troubled Jin. But the older boy would just smile at him and said that everything's all right. Jin sighed.
As he watched Fujima sleep, he had realized one thing – he loved Fujima. /I love him like… watching spring for the first time. I love him like all the sunsets and sunrises combined. I love him like music that jolt through you from your spine to your fingertips. I love him like –/ he shook his head, discarding his thoughts. /What am I turning into?/ he wondered, smiling a little.
Fujima, in the meanwhile, was slowly waking up. He could hear Jin at work in the kitchen and stirred a bit, feeling a stab of hunger. He wondered when was the last time he ate, and decided that it was probably yesterday. He sniffed the air to see if he could smell whatever it was Jin was making, but smelled nothing. He opened his eyes, to see Jin coming out of the kitchen, a plate of sandwiches in one hand.
"You're awake."
"Hmm," Fujima murmured, gladly taking one of the sandwiches and biting into it. "Thanks," he mumbled. Jin just looked at him. He shivered a bit, feeling that something was amiss. Something was different in Jin's expression. "Something wrong?" he managed, once he swallowed the sandwich.
Jin shook his head. Inwardly, he sighed. /Does he feel the same way about me?/ he wondered. /He doesn't even trust me with his last name…/ Out loud, he blurted out, "I wrote a song." /Why did I say that?/ he asked himself. /Why do I feel compelled to tell him?/
"Really?" Fujima immediately perked up, interested. "Play it for me."
Jin hesitated. "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure." Fujima smiled delightedly. "I thought you only sang, and now I find out you write songs, too…"
Blushing, Jin replied, "not very good ones… I just write to express myself."
"Don't we all? Come on, just play it for me.."
Jin gave a small, uncertain smile as he reached for his guitar. "Okay… just promise not to say anything until I'm done."
"I promise," Fujima said solemnly, the sides of his lips quirking in amusement. As Jin started to play, his smile died.
"IWell he looks at me with those innocent eyes
I say it looks like you're wearing some kind of disguise
Because your hair sticks up and your shoes are untied
And I hope you got that shirt at half price../I" [1]
As Jin continued singing, Fujima's felt like he had been zapped by something – he didn't know what it was, but it tingles in him, from his spine to his fingertips. One part of his mind was saying, /he's pretty good/, while another was uncomfortable, thinking, /this is too familiar../, and a third part wanted him to tell Jin who he was. And then there's this other part of him that just wanted to run away from everything, because he knew that he was losing control.
/I love him like he has to be taken away from me at any moment, because, seriously, how can something like this exist for real?/ [2]
"IWhy do you do what you do to me baby?
Shaking my confidence, driving me crazy
You know if I could, I'd do anything for you
Just don't ignore me 'cause you know I adore you"/I
Jin swallowed as he sang those words. /Will he know this is about him?/ he wondered. He watched the emotions that ran through Fujima's eyes closely, but he couldn't figure out what the other boy was thinking.
"IAnd then he disappears for a week at a time
And then he just shows up just like everything's fine
And I don't get what goes on in his mind../I"
Fujima blinked. He knew the song was about him, and he knew that it was wrong for him to do everything that he did with Jin. He had did everything wrong from the start – he had left Jin without even a note the morning after they met, he had kept who he was a secret, and he didn't even try to assuage whatever doubts the younger boy might have over their relationship. In fact, he didn't do anything. He just followed wherever Jin was taking him, and yet somehow he still held himself back, because he was afraid of losing everything too fast.
"ICan't you just pretend to be nice
Can you at least pretend to be nice
If you could just pretend to be nice
Everything in my life would be alright/I"
As Jin's singing came to a halt, he looked tentatively at Fujima and slowly put his guitar down. His voice tremulous, he asked, "What do you think?"
Fujima answered Jin by going to the sofa and closing the distance between them. "It's beautiful," he murmured. "And I'm sorry." He tugged Jin closer and kissed him, marveling at how easy it was to do so. The kiss, hot and yearning, sent both of them spinning, tingling with a sort of panicked excitement. Fujima lowered Jin onto the couch as the other boy gave a soft moan of pleasure. He ran his hands over Jin's body and his mouth left the other boy to nuzzle at the hollow of his neck.
/I love you like kisses all over my body that last for hours/, he thought.
Rukawa was bored. He sat alone in the almost empty living room, staring into space. He wondered if ennui was a good reason to get manic depression, and picked up a magazine nearby to read. After looking through it, he threw it back to where it came from. "Trash," he murmured. Then he noticed the page it had opened to as it fell – the gossip column. A picture of Fujima sharing a kiss with . . . someone . . . immediately grabbed his attention. He reached for the magazine again, and read the caption underneath. IFujima Kenji (Androgynous Zone drummer) sharing a tender moment in front of the train station. This must be a major blow to all the female fans!/I
"K'so," Rukawa cursed. He turned to the magazine cover, and saw that it was a very recent issue. Rukawa wondered what Fujima would do when he finds out. Or if Mitsui (and maybe Sendoh) would go ballistic. He turned back to the gossip column and looked at the picture. /So this is who he was talking about…/
The doorbell rang, startling him. Nobody ever visited him, not really. He threw the magazine aside again, and got up. When he reached the door, he could hear faint knocking. He opened the door a crack.
"Kitsune?"
He stared at the redhead in front of him. Hanamichi looked so nervous, and even fearful. Rukawa frowned. "What?"
"Can I talk to you for a while?"
Rukawa held the door open for Hanamichi to come in. Then he walked back to the living room, leaving Hanamichi behind. The redhead followed him. Not sitting down, Rukawa said, "talk."
Hanamichi took a deep breath, and decided to stand, too. Sitting down while the kitsune was standing would only make him feel more… vulnerable. /What am I doing here?/ he wondered. Lowering his eyes, he mumbled, "it's about that party…" he glanced up at Rukawa, but the latter just stared back silently. Not knowing what else to say, he burst out, "Look, don't take it wrongly, but I'm with Akira, okay? You know that…"
He saw a flash of emotion in Rukawa's eyes, but it disappeared fast. "Forget what I said that night."
Hanamichi stared. "What?"
"Forget it. I was drunk, I didn't know what made me say what I did."
/Boy, he's talking an awful lot for Rukawa/, Hanamichi thought. He swallowed, and asked, "you mean you didn't mean what you said?"
Silence.
Hanamichi thought Rukawa was never going to answer, when he heard a soft, "No."
His eyes widened. "You mean…"
"I meant what I said. I like you, Hanamichi."
Hanamichi blinked. Then blinked again. He couldn't believe the words he was hearing, and he couldn't believe that they were coming out of the Ikitsune/I's mouth. He did what he normally did in such a situation (not that the situation was a normal one for him!) – he panicked.
"Well, you can't really like me, because we hate each other, right, Kitsune?" he started to blabber. "I mean, maybe you just Ithink/I you like me, but you really don't. I mean, maybe you're just jealous because of how Akira and I are together and stuff. Not that our relationship is something to be jealous about at this point," he muttered darkly, "but that's besides the point. The point is –" the rest of his words were muffled as Rukawa silenced him with a kiss.
His mind went blank with shock. He shuddered as Rukawa's lips pressed harder against his, demanding a response. His hands came up, and he didn't know whether it was to pull Rukawa closer or to push him away. And he never did know, because they were interrupted by the sound of something crashing to the floor.
The two of them jerked away and turned to the sound. Sendoh was staring back at them, his face blanched. At another time Hanamichi would find the expression on his face quite funny, but not at the moment. At the moment he was wondering why it was happening. It's just so cliché, being found by your boyfriend while you were being kissed by someone you had always thought of as nothing but a rival. It's just so cliché, but it still hurts. On all parts.
Sendoh recovered faster than the two of them, plastering a strange smile over his face. "Sorry to interrupt you," he murmured. "I was looking for Hana-c – Hanamichi, and Mitsui said that you were heading towards Rukawa's." He gave a short, bitter laugh. "I brought you the new guitar you said you wanted, but I dropped it." He looked at the guitar lying on the floor. It wasn't broken.
"Dammit, Akira," Hanamichi said, his eyes narrowing. " Can't you be serious for once? Why aren't you yelling at me? Why aren't you demanding explanations from us? Because it's not what it looks like, it's –"
Sendoh blinked a couple of times and shook his head. "No," he murmured. "I think I know what's going on." He turned and left, walking steadily out of the house. Hanamichi could only stare. /Too fast/, he thought. /Everything is too fast. I feel like I've been steamrollered by fate./ He turned to Rukawa.
"What the fuck was that about?" he demanded angrily.
Rukawa shrugged. "You were blabbering like an idiot. I stopped you."
Hanamichi laughed, almost hysterically. "I can't believe you, you know that?" He shook his head. "Just like you to appear so detached after all that's happened. You really do have no feelings, don't you?" He stormed out of the house after Sendoh, not seeing the hurt and pain that flashed through Rukawa's eyes.
-tsuzuku-
[1] Pretend To Be Nice, by Letters To Cleo. This song was also in the Josie and the Pussycats movie. I was downloading some Letters To Cleo songs, and when I heard this, I immediately thought of this fic, so I had to put it in the fic some way or another… ^__^ I imagine the version in this fic the way Low Key (a band in college) sings it – kinda slower and more grungy..
[2] roughly paraphrased from Francesca Lia Block. :)
I think everyone is rather OOC, don't you? =P umm… I think I went all mushy on the FujiJin in this part. Beg your pardons..
Maybe this chapter is a bit rushed, but I couldn't help it… ^^ Reading Francesca Lia Block sort of does that to me… but enjoyed writing it, so that should amount to something, right? *grins*
Author: Black Rainbow
Chapter: 7/?
Status: on-going, quite unedited
Genre: AU, yaoi
Archive: pinkbutterflies, if for some reason you want it, e-mail me. ^^
Disclaimer: me only own the original characters and story… Takehiko Inoue owns SD characters, Jahnna N. Malcolm band name, and songs.
Warnings: crossdressing. characters will probably be very OOC, as I don't really know a lot about them.
-__- Sorry about that.
Chapter Seven
(this chapter goes to everyone who's reading this! ^__^)
Jin looked at the sleeping Fujima on his couch, and smiled. He yawned and walked towards his kitchen, and started to make sandwiches. That day had been a 'no-day' to them – just lazing around, watching television and talking and listening to CDs. Then Fujima fell asleep on the couch.
He turned back to take another look at the sleeping figure. Fujima had seemed so tired lately, which troubled Jin. But the older boy would just smile at him and said that everything's all right. Jin sighed.
As he watched Fujima sleep, he had realized one thing – he loved Fujima. /I love him like… watching spring for the first time. I love him like all the sunsets and sunrises combined. I love him like music that jolt through you from your spine to your fingertips. I love him like –/ he shook his head, discarding his thoughts. /What am I turning into?/ he wondered, smiling a little.
Fujima, in the meanwhile, was slowly waking up. He could hear Jin at work in the kitchen and stirred a bit, feeling a stab of hunger. He wondered when was the last time he ate, and decided that it was probably yesterday. He sniffed the air to see if he could smell whatever it was Jin was making, but smelled nothing. He opened his eyes, to see Jin coming out of the kitchen, a plate of sandwiches in one hand.
"You're awake."
"Hmm," Fujima murmured, gladly taking one of the sandwiches and biting into it. "Thanks," he mumbled. Jin just looked at him. He shivered a bit, feeling that something was amiss. Something was different in Jin's expression. "Something wrong?" he managed, once he swallowed the sandwich.
Jin shook his head. Inwardly, he sighed. /Does he feel the same way about me?/ he wondered. /He doesn't even trust me with his last name…/ Out loud, he blurted out, "I wrote a song." /Why did I say that?/ he asked himself. /Why do I feel compelled to tell him?/
"Really?" Fujima immediately perked up, interested. "Play it for me."
Jin hesitated. "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure." Fujima smiled delightedly. "I thought you only sang, and now I find out you write songs, too…"
Blushing, Jin replied, "not very good ones… I just write to express myself."
"Don't we all? Come on, just play it for me.."
Jin gave a small, uncertain smile as he reached for his guitar. "Okay… just promise not to say anything until I'm done."
"I promise," Fujima said solemnly, the sides of his lips quirking in amusement. As Jin started to play, his smile died.
"IWell he looks at me with those innocent eyes
I say it looks like you're wearing some kind of disguise
Because your hair sticks up and your shoes are untied
And I hope you got that shirt at half price../I" [1]
As Jin continued singing, Fujima's felt like he had been zapped by something – he didn't know what it was, but it tingles in him, from his spine to his fingertips. One part of his mind was saying, /he's pretty good/, while another was uncomfortable, thinking, /this is too familiar../, and a third part wanted him to tell Jin who he was. And then there's this other part of him that just wanted to run away from everything, because he knew that he was losing control.
/I love him like he has to be taken away from me at any moment, because, seriously, how can something like this exist for real?/ [2]
"IWhy do you do what you do to me baby?
Shaking my confidence, driving me crazy
You know if I could, I'd do anything for you
Just don't ignore me 'cause you know I adore you"/I
Jin swallowed as he sang those words. /Will he know this is about him?/ he wondered. He watched the emotions that ran through Fujima's eyes closely, but he couldn't figure out what the other boy was thinking.
"IAnd then he disappears for a week at a time
And then he just shows up just like everything's fine
And I don't get what goes on in his mind../I"
Fujima blinked. He knew the song was about him, and he knew that it was wrong for him to do everything that he did with Jin. He had did everything wrong from the start – he had left Jin without even a note the morning after they met, he had kept who he was a secret, and he didn't even try to assuage whatever doubts the younger boy might have over their relationship. In fact, he didn't do anything. He just followed wherever Jin was taking him, and yet somehow he still held himself back, because he was afraid of losing everything too fast.
"ICan't you just pretend to be nice
Can you at least pretend to be nice
If you could just pretend to be nice
Everything in my life would be alright/I"
As Jin's singing came to a halt, he looked tentatively at Fujima and slowly put his guitar down. His voice tremulous, he asked, "What do you think?"
Fujima answered Jin by going to the sofa and closing the distance between them. "It's beautiful," he murmured. "And I'm sorry." He tugged Jin closer and kissed him, marveling at how easy it was to do so. The kiss, hot and yearning, sent both of them spinning, tingling with a sort of panicked excitement. Fujima lowered Jin onto the couch as the other boy gave a soft moan of pleasure. He ran his hands over Jin's body and his mouth left the other boy to nuzzle at the hollow of his neck.
/I love you like kisses all over my body that last for hours/, he thought.
Rukawa was bored. He sat alone in the almost empty living room, staring into space. He wondered if ennui was a good reason to get manic depression, and picked up a magazine nearby to read. After looking through it, he threw it back to where it came from. "Trash," he murmured. Then he noticed the page it had opened to as it fell – the gossip column. A picture of Fujima sharing a kiss with . . . someone . . . immediately grabbed his attention. He reached for the magazine again, and read the caption underneath. IFujima Kenji (Androgynous Zone drummer) sharing a tender moment in front of the train station. This must be a major blow to all the female fans!/I
"K'so," Rukawa cursed. He turned to the magazine cover, and saw that it was a very recent issue. Rukawa wondered what Fujima would do when he finds out. Or if Mitsui (and maybe Sendoh) would go ballistic. He turned back to the gossip column and looked at the picture. /So this is who he was talking about…/
The doorbell rang, startling him. Nobody ever visited him, not really. He threw the magazine aside again, and got up. When he reached the door, he could hear faint knocking. He opened the door a crack.
"Kitsune?"
He stared at the redhead in front of him. Hanamichi looked so nervous, and even fearful. Rukawa frowned. "What?"
"Can I talk to you for a while?"
Rukawa held the door open for Hanamichi to come in. Then he walked back to the living room, leaving Hanamichi behind. The redhead followed him. Not sitting down, Rukawa said, "talk."
Hanamichi took a deep breath, and decided to stand, too. Sitting down while the kitsune was standing would only make him feel more… vulnerable. /What am I doing here?/ he wondered. Lowering his eyes, he mumbled, "it's about that party…" he glanced up at Rukawa, but the latter just stared back silently. Not knowing what else to say, he burst out, "Look, don't take it wrongly, but I'm with Akira, okay? You know that…"
He saw a flash of emotion in Rukawa's eyes, but it disappeared fast. "Forget what I said that night."
Hanamichi stared. "What?"
"Forget it. I was drunk, I didn't know what made me say what I did."
/Boy, he's talking an awful lot for Rukawa/, Hanamichi thought. He swallowed, and asked, "you mean you didn't mean what you said?"
Silence.
Hanamichi thought Rukawa was never going to answer, when he heard a soft, "No."
His eyes widened. "You mean…"
"I meant what I said. I like you, Hanamichi."
Hanamichi blinked. Then blinked again. He couldn't believe the words he was hearing, and he couldn't believe that they were coming out of the Ikitsune/I's mouth. He did what he normally did in such a situation (not that the situation was a normal one for him!) – he panicked.
"Well, you can't really like me, because we hate each other, right, Kitsune?" he started to blabber. "I mean, maybe you just Ithink/I you like me, but you really don't. I mean, maybe you're just jealous because of how Akira and I are together and stuff. Not that our relationship is something to be jealous about at this point," he muttered darkly, "but that's besides the point. The point is –" the rest of his words were muffled as Rukawa silenced him with a kiss.
His mind went blank with shock. He shuddered as Rukawa's lips pressed harder against his, demanding a response. His hands came up, and he didn't know whether it was to pull Rukawa closer or to push him away. And he never did know, because they were interrupted by the sound of something crashing to the floor.
The two of them jerked away and turned to the sound. Sendoh was staring back at them, his face blanched. At another time Hanamichi would find the expression on his face quite funny, but not at the moment. At the moment he was wondering why it was happening. It's just so cliché, being found by your boyfriend while you were being kissed by someone you had always thought of as nothing but a rival. It's just so cliché, but it still hurts. On all parts.
Sendoh recovered faster than the two of them, plastering a strange smile over his face. "Sorry to interrupt you," he murmured. "I was looking for Hana-c – Hanamichi, and Mitsui said that you were heading towards Rukawa's." He gave a short, bitter laugh. "I brought you the new guitar you said you wanted, but I dropped it." He looked at the guitar lying on the floor. It wasn't broken.
"Dammit, Akira," Hanamichi said, his eyes narrowing. " Can't you be serious for once? Why aren't you yelling at me? Why aren't you demanding explanations from us? Because it's not what it looks like, it's –"
Sendoh blinked a couple of times and shook his head. "No," he murmured. "I think I know what's going on." He turned and left, walking steadily out of the house. Hanamichi could only stare. /Too fast/, he thought. /Everything is too fast. I feel like I've been steamrollered by fate./ He turned to Rukawa.
"What the fuck was that about?" he demanded angrily.
Rukawa shrugged. "You were blabbering like an idiot. I stopped you."
Hanamichi laughed, almost hysterically. "I can't believe you, you know that?" He shook his head. "Just like you to appear so detached after all that's happened. You really do have no feelings, don't you?" He stormed out of the house after Sendoh, not seeing the hurt and pain that flashed through Rukawa's eyes.
-tsuzuku-
[1] Pretend To Be Nice, by Letters To Cleo. This song was also in the Josie and the Pussycats movie. I was downloading some Letters To Cleo songs, and when I heard this, I immediately thought of this fic, so I had to put it in the fic some way or another… ^__^ I imagine the version in this fic the way Low Key (a band in college) sings it – kinda slower and more grungy..
[2] roughly paraphrased from Francesca Lia Block. :)
I think everyone is rather OOC, don't you? =P umm… I think I went all mushy on the FujiJin in this part. Beg your pardons..
Maybe this chapter is a bit rushed, but I couldn't help it… ^^ Reading Francesca Lia Block sort of does that to me… but enjoyed writing it, so that should amount to something, right? *grins*