Author Note: I am sooooooo sorry it took me so long to update everyone! i got an actual big-person job a month and a half ago, and needless to say, i have been tired or wanting to take care of other things when i get home at night. Although... during the day, i think constantly of ways to write this! i will try to get the next ch. out soon! SO...without further set backs... i hope you enjoy!
Leonardo leaned against the counter in the Jone's ketchen
Leonardo leaned against the counter in the Jone's kitchen. Arms crossed, he heaved a sigh with his head down, looking at his arms. He was listening to his father question his other brothers. Swallowing, he picked his head up and sniffed threw his nose.
"So that's it then, we're gonna look fa'clues?" Casey asked sitting across the table from Michaelangelo who was softly humming the Star Wars theme song as he doodled on a napkin.
"I think it would be wise. We have nothing to go on other than Bebop and Rocksteady attempting to destroy and pillage downtown." Splinter narrowed his eyes and shot a look at Mikey as he finished his statement.
Donatello elbowed his younger brother and cleared his throat. Raphael leaned back in his chair and smirked narrowing his eyes, irritated at his sibling.
"Hu?... " Mike looked up from his abstract art and noticed the glares that spread across the room, all pointing to him. "Ah, … sorry." he leaned back and pushed the paper napkin and pen into the center.
"Have ah'lil respect! You ain't the least bit pissed bout the girls bein' in that situation?!" Raphael glared over at his brother. Splinter set a hand on Raphael's shoulder, calming him mid-tantrum.
"Yea, I am!" Michaelangelo shot back at his explosive brother. Everyone's face registered mild shock. "Course I'm pissed! Molly's my girlfriend man! The fuck'n love ah'my life! You think I don't care cause I don't sit here and brood like the rest of ya!" Mikey stood as he got angrier. Raphael uncrossed his arms, his face contorted into anger, irritated and annoyed all at the same time.
"Michaelangelo!" Splinter barks at his usually passive and compliant son.
"No!" he stood, he chair sliding back into the counter. "Those uber-mutant fucks are back! And they can mess with us all they want, but they went after our girlfriends! Whether they realized it at the time or not…. They do now! Now I'm all for find'en 'em… but sitting here talkin 'bout it ain't gonna solve shit!" Mikey glanced up at Leo as he breathed out a frusterated huff. "I don't sit here'en think 'what if'… what if nothin! The girls are fine, that right now's the important thing!"
Moving to the side, he put a hand on the back of the chair and shoved it into the edge of the table, steadying himself, Mikey lifted his head and stared right at Raphael. "Next time you wanna accuse me ah'not care'n, just remember that you and I deal with alotta shit differently bro… I'm goin to find my girlfriend… perhaps you should do the same." Mike shot a challenging glare at his red-banded brother before he turned to exit the kitchen.
Stopping at the stairs he turned around and looked directly at his father. "Sensei…. I am truly sorry for my outburst… but only to you." He put his hands together in front of himself and gave a firm, quick bow and was up the stairs before anyone said anything.
Splinter let out a long, unsettling deep breath. Licking his lips, his ears flickered a moment as his dark eyes looked up at his eldest who just stared back at him blankly.
"Well?" Casey asked, glancing between the most rational of the group, avoiding his best friend who was now cracking his knuckles and bouncing his right leg up and down, as if he were an Ultimate Fighter, pumping himself up. Although, they all know that Raph got this way when he was trying to actually… calm down.
"For now Casey, we wait." Splinter gave the man a sad smile as he stood. "I am retiring for the night. It is late. Do tell the ladies that I bid them Good night."
"You bet." Casey gave the rat a tired, effort-baring smile.
"I'm just tired is all…" Molly stared at the ground in front of her chair. A thick blanket wrapped around her shoulders, shielding her from the cool air.
"You sure hun?" April asked again, after asking if the young woman was ok the first time. Molly nodded.
"I just can't believe it! I mean, what would you have done if the guys hadn't…"
"Nope." Robin shook her head looking at Mia "Don't continue that question. They always show up."
"Yea, but…. Well… I'm obviously new to this kinda life style, ya know?" Mia sat, playing with a thick section of her hair over her one shoulder.
"You never get used to it." April looked at the younger women with a somber, small smile. Looking down, she put on hand on her protruding belly; rubbing it she made a circle.
"Is it weird that it all just happened a few hours ago and I don't remember much?" Molly suddenly looked up, directing the question more to Shadow but still generalized it.
Shaking her head, Shadow kept her quiet demeanor. She turned her head back out toward the sky line of the city, only half listening to the group of ladies chatting away quietly.
It wasn't that they weren't allowed or included in the boy's conversation, they just didn't want to deal with the fighting, arguing, planning and drama that goes with a Hamato family 'talk'. Before Splinter had gotten there, Mike sat on the side of the tub in the bathroom, as Molly sat with her back between his legs, wanting somewhere quiet and private to talk. Robin and Don along with Mia and Leo sat in the kitchen and talked with Shay as she sipped on Ginger ale. Raphael remained distant, sitting on the sofa with Casey. His eyes closed, head back, almost peaceful. As Shadow spoke only when questioned and only again, half listened as the others had chatted, she never took her eyes off of her boyfriend. His mouth was turned in a slight frown, but tight lipped. His one arm draped over his stomach as the other sat at his side on the couch, holding a bottle of
water loosely.
"Hey… " The women all turned toward the voice that jaunted then from their conversations, Shadow from her thoughts.
"Hey Mike." Robin gave him a smile as he walked toward them, shuffling his feet as we went.
"You ready to go?" Molly asked starting to pull the blanket from herself.
"Yea, I'm tired…you?"
"Yea." The blond answered and stood, handing the blanket to Mia who took it without question.
"Night ladies!" Mikey winked, giving a sly grin as he wrapped a arm effortlessly around Mollys small shoulders, pulling her into him with almost a head lock. Her hand reached up, grabbing onto one large finger.
"Night." April and Robin answered in unison, sounding like complete carbon copies of one another and Shay just gave a small smile.
"Adios." Mia called after them as the youngest couple made their way to the stares.
Turning back to the others, the Hispanic girl curled her lips. "Ya know, now that I'm getting used to these turtle men…its pretty sweet."
"What's that?" April asked her, lifting on brow in her direction.
"The manners and everything; Such gentlemen!"
Robin giggled. "Ya think?..."
Mia nodded her head then giggled "…y muy guapo." She winked at Shay as she said it.
Smirking, Shadow shook her head.
"What?" April asked with a nervous giggle. "Now you have to tell me!"
"She said they're hot!" Robin giggled.
"No… I said handsome…" Mia's nerves got the better of her "They're almost … pretty. I dunno… unique…"
"Thanks." The black haired girl jumped and turned, a deer in headlights.
"Hey Raph!" April smiled at him.
"Sup." He trudged the rest of the way up the stairs. Stopping, his arms crossed, he kinda looked around absently for a moment, everyone quiet.
"I'm ah… getting kinda hungry, April, Mia… you girls want Sundays or something?" Robin asked standing, widened her eyes and darted them toward Shadow.
"Heck yes!" Mia shot up and started toward the steps.
April took the hint as well, scooting herself to the end of the chair and heaved her body up using the handles. "Yea, but I get the first dibs on everything!"
"You know, you did that last time, and took almost all of it! I'm learning my lesson! We go first, take what we want and you get the rest!" Robins tone was mock-seriousness and a laugh as she asserted her point toward her wobbling sister.
Shadow smirked, watching them head down the stairs, their reason for leaving being completely obvious. Feeling the small smile fade, Shay glanced in Raphaels direction, studying him. He stood, leaning with his hip against the brick wall a few feet from the stairs. Neither moved for what felt like hours.
He didn't take his eyes off of her, he felt like he just needed to take it all in. The smell in the air, the small amount of moon light on her hair, along with the yellow-cast lamp that was above the stairs making her face glow. Her grey hoody she had changed into bubbled out around her, hiding her petite form and curves. Her hands were tucked up inside the sleeves and it was obvious that she was holding the openings shut from the insides of the arms. The breeze kicked up around her, throwing her chocolate hair out around her shoulders and into her face; just like it was doing to his bandana. He watched as she looked out over the city, bringing one arm up, shaking her hand free and pushing the strands back.
"You wanna sit?" She asked without looking at him.
He swallowed and smirked to himself, of course he wanted to sit. Striding over, he pulled up a lawn chair in front of hers, hopefully making her face him. He looked at her a moment longer before saying her name, but she interrupted him.
"What's going on with you?" she held the hair out of her face with her left hand softly, turning to look at him, her expression was quiet, scared, concerned, and sad.
The turtle took a deep inhale and let it out slow. Looking down at his hands that were clasped together as his elbows rested on his knees. Painless, he thought, this has to be quick and…
"Shay…Shadow, I …ain't happy no more." He lied.
She stared at him, but then finally spoke, "What?" Her brows creased, her cheeks flushed and her voice was barely a whisper as her words clogged themselves at her lips.
He took his eyes off of her, finding something, anything to look at. "Its just, … " he paused, feeling his stomach flutter a second, but pushed himself. "… why push this? Ah'mean, it ain't like its goin ta'go anywhere life alter'enly serious. We can't get married, have'ah house, go places…"
"But…. But we talked about all that. Months ago… almost a year ago..! Raph I don't.." She stammered, feeling herself begin to break; a small, lone tear slid down her face, slipping into the folds of her lips and down to her chin.
Raphael blinked, looking up at her. He could see everything in her eyes.
"I … " she began to continue, "I thought we were fine! I was happy! You seemed happy till a week or so ago!? What can I..."
"You can't do nothin." He cut her off, making himself stiffen.
"What do you mean nothing?" she asked feeling herself getting slightly defensive with a touch of panic. "I told you a long time ago I was ok with our situation!"
"Ok! I don't want ya ta'be ok… I need ta'know who ever I spend ma'life with is happy… Scratch that! More than happy!" he did feel himself get legitimately upset when he heard her utter 'ok', however he know that she wasn't thinking, just speaking without a filter. He knew that she was more than happy with him, that's what made him nervous.
" I am!" she felt herself choke down a small sob. "I thought we were going to be together! Raphael… I love you… I…" she spat out at him as he sat straight in his chair. He was sweating; feeling a lump in his throat. This was definitely becoming more painful that any of the life threatening wounds he had sustained threw the years.
"Shadow, if we can't have a normal life, let ah'lone have'ah kid, I don't want ya resentin' me for the rest of my life! I don't want any ah'that naggin shit, and the known that I'm the reason that your unhappy with ya life!" he stood, trying to make all this sound believable. Truth was… it wasn't believable, at all.
"Who said I am not happy! Since when do you decide what and when I feel something!" Shadow stood, completely hurt, angry, and defensive.
Raphael came to his feet as well, sending the chair toppling over backwards. He was taken back a bit by her feisty attack… she had been so calm and stoic for so long that he had to admit to himself, he was turned on. Noticing the tears and hearing her words, he brought himself back to reality,
"Shadow!" he yelled her name, causing her mouth to shut suddenly, a fresh tear slid down her and onto her chest. "This fight…. This ain't goin ta'happen!" Raph waved his hand between the two of them to apply and emphasize the relationship; what he was trying to convince her of. This was it, and he knew it. It had been the only way. Make her hate him.
CRACK. The side of his face stung as he took the slap like a champ. He had never been hit and not been pissed about it, although, for the first time in his life… an attack, this small, mild, normally laughable slap, almost brought him to tears.
"You know what Raph…" she pushed past him, shoving her shoulder into his, never realizing that he was hurting himself as much as he was hurting her. "You're a selfish ass hole! You were an ass hole when we were younger and if it wasn't good for you at the time… it's wasn't good for anyone!" she turned at the top of the stairs, yelling at him threw her tears. "I thought that you were someone else apparently! But those are the most selfish reasons to end something real… wait, Scratch that…" He felt himself breathe out as she imitated his harsh, sarcastic and condescending tone from moments ago."… Not Real, we'll call it a mirage is you will! Yea! Something that only one person sees and thinks is real! I mean… that's what this was, wasn't it! Just fun for you in the mean time! I mean… why break up with someone over those things…things that people don't have to have, if love it real!! Their all selfish!" she yelled at him threw her sobs, pointing at the ground as he stood there staring at the ground.
He felt his throat growing tight, however he would never speak, in fear that he would give himself away. He wasn't hurt from her words, he know it wasn't true. On the contrary, after tonight, he was more scared of loosing her than ever before. It was the brothers everyone was after. If anything ever happened to her, he would never live with himself. He had to get her as far away from himself as possible. Casey and him had been going out more and more, creating more enemies… and now that they ran into to old 'friends' tonight that they thought were long gone… things were only going to get worse. He had nightmares for the last few months. Horrible nightmares where he couldn't save her. He would wake up in a sweat most of the time. The week before, he had been sick to his stomach as he woke, ran to the bathroom and wretched in the toilet. No one had known or heard. He stood with his head over the sink and stared for... he didn't know how long. But, tonight had been the final straw.
"Nothing?... " Shadow yelled at him. " You have nothing to say for your self!?" He felt his shoulders flex as he licked his lips and sniffed in air audibly, picking his head up to look at her. He corked onside of his mouth and shrugged his shoulders.
Shadow felt instant rage. Like everything she knew for the last year was a lie. She would have time tonight to cry, but right now… she had to tell him exactly what she thought.
"You know what Raph? Don't you ever follow me, look for me… ask about me, utter my name or try to talk to me, ever! I lived my whole life virtually without you, but its going to take me a long time to heal from this one!" she practically spat at him.
"Go fuck yourself Raphael…" her tears flowed as she reached to her neck and fumbled a moment with the collar. Yanking hard, she broke the gold chain that the Ruby pendent hung on and threw them to the ground. She turned and stomped down the stairs, hearing the door slam the turtle stood for a long time, staring in the direction the young woman had just went.
Bringing his hand up, he tugged at his mask, pulling it off. Looking down, he played with the eyes holes as a tear slid down his face and onto the cement roof top. The masks hid everything… especially tears as the bandana held a small amount of moisture. Racking his hand over his face, he let out a breath, feeling it come out as a shutter. Taking a few steps, he bend and picked up the Ruby, fingering it a moment, clutching it in his fist. Turning, he walked to the wall, and looked back over his shoulder again. Bringing to red fabric back up to his face, and pulled it roughly over his face so that it hung around his neck. Jumping to the stone wall, he leaped. Unsure of where he was going, he ran from roof to roof, faster and faster… perhaps for a second he thought he was trying to erase her, the farther the better. But nothing would erase her, she would be the one and only… he was sure of it.
Mia stood at the knock on the window, Leonardo gave her a vague smile and a half wave as she reached for the bottom and yanked up, a smile on her face.
"Hey you… whats new?" she moved so that he could slide threw into Molly's apartment.
"Not much,… where do you ladies want these boxes?" He questioned her as Mike stood out on the fire escape and shoved three medium sized cardboard cubes into the room.
"Just set them by the door!" Robin yelled from the kitchen.
"Dinner smells awesome!" Mike smiled, squirming threw the window, and turning to receive a few more boxes from Donatello.
"Thanks! Breaded chicken, veggies and potatoes!! mmm mm!" Molly smiled and she dumped the bag of frozen vegetables into the pan.
"What movie did you girls grab?" Donny asked as he shimmied in threw the window.
"Some lady at work gave us the boot-leg version of the new Adam Sandler movie!" Mia chuckled as she picked up a box and tossed it over by the door.
"Nice!" the youngest brother skipped over a few women's shoes and reached for the fridge.
They had been having movie nights jointly the last few weeks, instead of the girls alone; there was no rhyme or reason… it just began happening that way.
"So … how is ah, how's Shay?" Don asked, accepting a beer from Mike and pulling out a chair from the table.
"She…isn't really talking to anyone." Mia looked up at Molly who turned from the stove and nodded.
"How's Raphael?" Mia asked looking at the boys. Noticing the glares from the other two ladies she shrugged. "What?! Breaking off a relationship with someone is hard." She defended her question.
"We haven't seen him." Leonardo replied, unbelting his katana straps and sliding them off his back.
"Really?" Robin eyed him.
Leo shook his head.
"Yea, I mean… we know he's been there ah'few times, but we haven't physically seen'em, let alone talk to'em." Mikey finally took the first sip from his beer.
"Odd." Robin narrowed her eyes.
"What are the boxes for? You girls moving?" Leo asked, looking between Robin and Mia.
"No… ah. Their for Shadow." Mia looked at the turtles all in the faces, waiting for it to sneak in.
"Wair… she's moving out?" Donny asked. Mia smirked to herself, she knew the super genius would get it.
Molly took the vegetables from the stove and poured them into a bowl, picking up a half stick of butter. "Shes moving… she just won't tell anyone where."
"Not even April or Casey?" Leo perked up from his spot on the wall, shoving himself away from it with just his shoulder.
"No one…April thinks its somewhere outside of Manhatten."
"Where like the Bronx? That's a fuck'n haul!" Michaelangelo stammered out with a burp in-between.
"Not sure. She'll talk when she's ready though…" Robin sighed and opened the fridge rescuing a beer for herself.
"Yea… its pretty impressive that she found a place in just three days though… don't ya thing?" Molly asked pulling out placemats and handing them to Mia.
"Hell yea it is! You usually gotta spend a month or more shopping around for prices and listings!" Robin exclaimed as she swatted Donny's hand away as she stood up to move the center piece for Mia and Molly. Don just winked at her, causing her to giggle slightly.
"I guess price wasn't an option. She wanted away from everyone… that, bad." Molly felt everyone grow still at her comment. As if the whole room stopped to ponder a thought that no one had stumbled upon till now.
"Just the memories." Leo's voice sounded small as he looked down at his hands as he stood back a step to get out of the girls ways as they readied the table.
"Whats that bro?" Mike glanced up.
"The memories… it seems she wants away from the memories."
Mia found herself staring at him as he spoke. She picked up on the knowing and understanding tone in his voice that read 'Been there, Done that.' Leo looked up, making eyes contact with Mia, and for the first time, she found herself not looking away. Their eyes danced with one another's until she gave him a small, sympathetic smile. Before she knew it, they were both smirking at one another, looking to the ground and letting their eyes meet once again.
"Dinner is served friends!" Molly smiled and stood back, waiting for everyone to take a seat.
Donny glanced up to the corners of the room a noticed two extra chairs that weren't moved since the previous week. Robin smiled and looked up at him. Her mouth fell as she glanced over her shoulder to where he was looking. She gave a knowing sigh and grabbed his hand, squeezing it.
"There has to be a reason for everything." She whispered.
He nodded at her and squeezed her hand back. " I know… but, its just not normal. Like the stars are out of alignment or something; A full moon the other night, I dunno..."
"You coulda just said its 'fuck'n weird' with out'em….. dork." The orange clad brother rolled his eyes.
A slice of bread flew across the table right onto Mikey's face.