By 5:30, Sharon was ready to crawl home. At some point, in the wee hours of the morning, coming in early had sounded like a good idea. She was regretting that now, wanting to crawl home and into her bed. Of course, she was used to coming into work at all hours of the day and night, but this time was different. She as an emotional mess and just needed to go home. She also couldn't remember the last time she had put so much energy into being so professional. That had taken a toll on her, and she needed to go. She'd sent the team home just after 5:00, grateful for another paperwork day. Days like that were few and far between, and she felt she deserved a pat on the back for getting through the day with Andy.
Sharon collected her things and closed her office. The room was mostly empty, the team having left together earlier. Often on days like this, she knew the team would go for a drink, but she suspected the tension with the current situation had gotten in the way of any team time at the local watering hole. Sharon was glad to find the elevator mostly empty. It only stopped once on the way to the garage, and two officers, who were already in the middle of a conversation got on and barely gave her more than a polite nod. It was fine with Sharon.
What was not fine was the figure waiting for her at her car. Sharon dropped her shoulders and sighed, her purse sliding off her shoulder as she looked to him, standing against the back of her car. He was looking down at the ground, his legs crossed, and he hadn't noticed her yet. She had thoughts about running back to her office, but she knew, somehow, he'd still be there no matter what time she returned. It was time to get the initial confrontation out of the way.
"Andy, what do you want?" Sharon sighed as she walked up to him. By now, she knew he'd seen her coming; he'd probably heard her coming, her heels echoing in the garage. He glanced up, as he seemed almost fixated on something on the ground. She knew he wasn't; he was more likely fixated on her and trying to not show it.
"I wanted to apologize," Andy sighed as he looked up and finally met her gaze. She tilted her head and pursed her lips as if she wanted to say something, but at the last minute, she closed it and remained silent. "Honestly," he sighed as he offered her a small smile, "there's a lot more I want to say, but I'm trying to respect that you don't want to listen right now. So, I just want to apologize."
"I see," Sharon nodded. Once she made eye contact with him, she quickly looked away and started to fiddle with her purse strap. "I'm not sure what to say. That apology doesn't just erase everything, all the damage and certainly not the visual image I can't erase from my mind."
"I know," he nodded. "Here," he held out his hand. She glanced to it and saw an envelope with what she suspected had a letter in it. "There's more in the letter," he told her. "Read it, don't read it," he shrugged. She reached for it and nodded without saying anything. Andy reached in his suit jacket and pulled out another envelope. "Here," he gestured to her again, and she looked to him with a questioning gaze. "This is another copy of the letter so when you tear up the first one, you have this one. Look, I know Jack always left a letter. I'm not trying to dig up bad memories, but I'm not Jack. I'm not leaving. I'm also not leaving our division, not unless you request for me to do so. If that happens, I'll respect your decision." Sharon's shaky hand took the second letter; it was hard to accept it. Andy had hit a nerve; Jack had always left letters, and he knew she'd torn up the last one he'd ever left her. Andy pushed off Sharon's car, and he looked to her, as she stood there, now with both letters in her hand.
"The letters aren't to dig up bad memories from Jack, but you know I usually mess up anything I try to say, so I decided to write it down. Be safe going home, Sharon," he sighed. He gave a single nod and started toward his car, parked only a few spaces away.
"You don't get to walk away thinking you've done your part," she said sternly as he left. She had tried to remain silent, but her rage started to pour out, and she knew she needed to regain control. Andy spun around when she started to speak. "How dare you! I know this started with me, but I came over to fix it. You didn't even last 12 hours, 12 hours Andy, without running to anyone else! How dare you!" Sharon brushed the tear off her face, and she looked away. She took a deep breath and without looking at Andy, she said, "I'm not going to continue to air our personal matters at work. Please keep work professional. I'm trying to do the same."
Andy stood and watched as she moved quickly to her car. Sharon fumbled with her keys, and she dropped both her keys and her bags. Andy sighed as he moved to help her. He grabbed her purse and briefcase as she continued to fumble for her keys. He stood and silently waited for her to stand up again. When she did, she yanked at her things, "Thank you, Lieutenant."
Andy just nodded and stepped back as she got into her car. He put his hands in his pockets and watched as she backed out, making no eye contact with him. Once her car was out of sight, he started for his own car.
Sharon heard the door later that night as she was trying to sleep. She got up, found her glasses, and she walked toward the door as she put on her robe. "You're getting in late," she offered a sad smile to Rusty as she put her arm into her robe and then pulled it closed with the cool night air making her cold.
"Oh, hey, Sharon," he gave her a similar sad smile as he closed and locked the door. Sharon watched as he hung up his jacket and picked up his bag. "I didn't mean to wake you."
"I wasn't asleep," she admitted. She shrugged, "Trying maybe, but I wasn't asleep yet. Are you hungry? I can sit with you if you want something to eat."
"Oh, no, I'm fine," he nodded to her as Sharon stepped to the side so Rusty could move toward the kitchen. She followed to listen. "I had dinner with Lieutenant Provenza and Patrice. I'm stuffed from that, still, but I am going to get something to drink."
"That's right," Sharon nodded. "He told me you were going to have dinner with him."
"Patrice likes to cook, mostly healthy stuff, but it was good. I'm used to the healthy stuff at least from eating with you and the lieutenant," he said as he moved around in the kitchen to get a glass of water.
Sharon tensed up at the mention of Andy. Rusty seemed to notice it, and he sat down at the table and looked to Sharon. "Sharon, why didn't you tell me what the lieutenant did?"
"Lieutenant Provenza told you!" Sharon exclaimed as she looked horrified at Rusty.
"No, but he was a good person to talk to about it all," Rusty frowned. "I wish you had told me. Nicole, she sent me a text today, asking how you were dealing with everything, and well," he shrugged and continued, "she told me."
"You text back and forth with Nicole?" Sharon asked, shocked at the admission.
"Well, yeah," Rusty shrugged as if it was no big deal. "We have been since that whole ballet thing last year. She's pretty cool, and it was a way to keep tabs on the two of you. You changed the subject," he nodded to her. "Sharon, I can't believe what the lieutenant did. I guess he called Nicole and told her. She's pretty mad at him."
Sharon pursed her lips and gave a single nod, "Rusty, I'm still trying to process everything myself. I played my own part in the mess, not that I'm letting Andy off the hook at all, but it's very complicated. What he did, though, is something that can't just be talked through or forgiven with a quick apology."
Rusty nodded as he listened. He looked up to her and gave her another sad smile, "Sharon, I am really sorry. I hate to see you so upset. I like the lieutenant, but I told him, well, a lot," he frowned, "but, I told him that I wasn't sure I could ever trust him for hurting you so badly."
"You spoke with him?" Sharon's eyes grew larger as she listened to Rusty. "When? What?"she stammered.
He shrugged, "I met Nicole there after I had dinner with Lieutenant Provenza. I even told him I was going to the lieutenant's house. He said the guy needed to hear from everyone just how much he'd messed up. Nicole wanted to check on him, to make sure he wasn't drinking. I told her I wanted to tell him off myself."
"Rusty," Sharon sighed as she shook her head. "This isn't your problem. I can handle things myself."
"Yeah, well, that isn't going so well, is it? Sharon, I care about you, and I care if someone hurts you. He, he like, broke your trust. I saw guys cheat on my mom all the time. Sadly, I saw my mom cheat on guys too. It's not just a small thing. He needed to know that, to know that when he hurt you, he hurt me too. I've always liked him," Rusty explained.
"Rusty, please stay out of it. I can handle things on my own; I have for a very long time. My relationship, or lack of one, with Andy is my business. I know you care about him, both Andy and Lieutenant Provenza. Repair that relationship; Andy didn't do anything to you. He likes you very much. My problem with him is very complicated, and meddling children are not going to help. Don't ruin the relationship you have with Andy."
Rusty just shrugged, "I like you more."
"I think I'm going to go back to bed," Sharon gave him a watery smile. She stood before she started to cry. "Don't stay up too late."
"I love you, Sharon," Rusty stood and reached for her to give her a hug. Sharon pulled him in and hugged him back. Rusty was worried; he normally didn't initiate any affection. She patted his arm, and then she walked back to her room, passing the letters she'd tucked away, unopened, in her desk.