So what if... what if endings really just don't exist?
Does that mean everything is just a circle, over and over again?
And is that a good thing?
Cecily was confused, really, more so than anything else but she figured that much was given since she was trapped in a confusing place with emotions too complicated for herself to sort out, even. She didn't really want to sort them out, either; because maybe in the process of doing so she'd realize something that she didn't want to realize, or maybe she would figure out what she truly wanted and it wouldn't be what she initially thought. So, in that way, things might've just been better confusing more than the other way around. Which was a strange way of thinking about it and probably not a healthy mindspace, either, but it was necessary, in her eyes.
If endings weren't real and everything repeated itself as it had a tendency to, she'd noticed, then maybe that wasn't necessarily a bad thing, either. It just made things a bit more confusing but nothing else, really. It might give her a chance to do some things over. Might give her a chance to make sure that she didn't repeat all the mistakes she'd ever made that had managed to both ruin her life and introduce new things to her. Would she have become the person she was now if she hadn't wanted to take back time so badly? She doubted that the answer was yes, but there was always that tiny voice in the back of her mind convincing her that she was never in the wrong.
It was movie night, for the both of them, though she just called it that in her head because they hadn't ended up truly establishing proper names for everything. Their relationship was more improvised when both of them had free time or simply just wanted to see each other, and Cecily almost appreciated that even more because it was almost less worrisome. Really, it was just a night when she went over to his flat because she was lonely and he'd invited her in because Cass was out, as per usual, and they'd curled up on the couch together with some cheesy romantic comedy, in his words, not hers, after popping an entire bag of popcorn and digging out the chocolate he had in his pantry. Oh, and making some tea. She was the one who'd gotten him into that habit.
The lights were off so that the blue light radiating out from the screen was the only thing filling up the room, and she'd never stopped marveling over how wonderful it was that the world had evolved enough after her time to have moving pictures in color and high quality so that all the lines were sharp and defined. It was like real life, she thought, give for the plot that she wondered could ever happen because it seemed like something out of a fairy tale - then again, so did her own relationship, so she supposed she wasn't really one to talk, was she?
Neither of them were focused on the movie, she knew. They were both there for the sake of being with each other and staying in one place because she drifted off aimlessly without warning and there were moments when she just wanted to stay by his side. This was one of those moments where she didn't care in the least what they were doing - so long as they were doing it together, because that was all that mattered, right?
Spontaneously, with no warning at all, she leaned over and kissed him lightly. His lips were always warm on hers, she'd noticed, though the one time when she'd extended a finger to them she thought they were rather cold instead. He tilted his head at her, an amused smile in his eyes though there was mild confusion in them as well, and she hurried to explain herself before he could even ask why she'd done it.
"I just wanted to see if we could relive history together."
His brows furrowed together cutely and Cecily chuckled to herself, shaking her head before settling next to him again, eyes on the screen once more. "Relive history? Why?"
She took a moment to think over that, before giving a small shrug of her shoulders and closing her eyes. "Because the history we have is beautiful, is it not? So I want our history to be out future, and I want our future to be our history. Does that make sense?"
"Not at all."
"That's fine. I didn't expect it to."