Doors7

Unusual sounds drove Jacob, sleepy headed, from the warmth of his bed. He walked quietly over to the window overlooking the park, expecting to see his parents making their way to the tunnels. It wasn't an unusual occurence. He was only mildly surprised to note that it was not his mother, but Terry, who held on to the arm of his father. Jacob wasn't puzzled. He knew their welcome guest had long wanted to experience that hidden place where his parents first found love. Part of him was disappointed that he could not be the one to show her, but who better than his father?

The sun was barely skimming threads of light above the horizon. In the early morning hours, there was an eerie feeling to the deserted park. New York City would soon be up and bustling. It was a time of morning Jacob enjoyed. He spent his childhood below, rarely seeing the sun come up. Of all his treasures discovered while living above, sunrise and twilight never failed to stir his senses.

Terry would be leaving on a noon flight to return to California. He longed to spend more time with her but it was not to be. He and Cathy had issues to resolve. Devoting time to his troubled wife would only bring lasting happiness for both of them. Terry would be back in New York soon enough for her wedding. He could talk with her then.

Jacob padded back to bed. climbing up slowly before sitting at the foot, as was his habit. If he rose early, before anyone else, it was his designated quiet time. He frequently used the empty space to recall dreams but more often than not, the young husband preferred to sit cross-legged, watching his wife. Since the kidnapping Jacob missed watching her wake with happy eyes, seeking his face in the semi darkness, hoping for some intimate moments.

The previous evening she had been excited. The day had gone well. She let him know that despite the elevated status of her host, she had held her own among the men. Patrick DelCassian was a much kinder man than Kurt Oats. Her former boss had not been kind or gentle when she first became his secretary. She learned to find her way with men in positions of power. The Attorney-General did not throw his weight around. He had been remarkably inclusive and considerate.

Jacob was happy to see the sparkle back in her eyes but it was more than just the successful day. She told him of a plan she had for Erin. Her plan was to discuss the idea first with Holly then everyone else. There was more simmering below the surface of her animation but Cathy had been reluctant to discuss anything further, begging him instead, to talk about his day.

As he sat watching her it was clear that the shimmering hues of her aura, which he could clearly see, had changed. Jacob remembered looking at Kardin, Holly's father during their violent and emotionally charged exchange at his office. He had seen the rents in the energetic fabric of his adversary which indicated a previous trauma. Jacob had used that vulnerability to overcome the sheer strength and powerful will of his opponent.

Cathy had a strange dark ring around a part of her neck which never seemed to fill in with colour. It always appeared as a shadowy space. Jacob used to identify the ring with Cathy's inability to speak her emotional mind freely. Seeing her lying there so peacefully, he realized the dark ring was gone. It was replaced by yellow green tones. Somewhere during the course of a few days, Cathy had healed her deepest hurt. Jacob wasn't sad that she didn't share her concerns with him. He could only feel happiness for her if she resolved the long standing pain of her childhood encounter with an unfeeling brute.

Jacob did have knowledge of the event. He had seen it all from their very first encounter, but said nothing. The story wasn't his to tell and if she had no recall of it, telling the story would only serve to traumatize her again. Since she didn't speak of it, the attack on her remained the one bridge which their love could not cross. He hoped that someday she could be open about it. Jacob knew he felt secure enough in their love to let the matter lay unspoken between them.

'Are you up for a reason Jacob?' Her soft voice broke the early morning spell which wrapped itself around him, much like his father's old cloak.

'Terry and Dad just went across the park.'

'Hmmm…. are you coming back to bed?'

'Suppose I just like sitting here staring at you?'

'Suppose I tell you how much I want you to come and lay beside me?'

'You win!'

Jacob uncoiled his body and stretched out next to his wife seeking the tips of her toes with his own. He drew her body closer, cradling her head in the crook of his arm. They were silent for awhile. Cathy knew that Jacob would want to make love to her. He often did in the early hours of the morning. She could preempt his desire by expressing her own but feared his distaste if she were to be assertive. Out of the bedroom she had no qualms about giving him an earful of grief if she thought he was careless with her feelings or anyone else's. But she hated being aggressive or even assertive in their intimate moments, fearing his disgust if he thought her too practiced or, if she were to admit the truth, too much like her mother. In any case, Jacob always knew her desires well before she could manifest any outward movement. She never held back from giving everything during their love making. She wouldn't ever deny him that part of herself, if he wanted her, even in this quiet moment. It seemed not, but he was also disinclined to talk.

She spoke into the void which held only their intermingled breaths.

'I wonder what Terry will think of our home.'

'She will be enchanted.'

Cathy chuckled at the complete certainty of the pronouncement. Jacob never said or did anything by half measures.

'You know Cathy, when you said our home; I was reminded that I only grew up in the tunnels. Remember I wasn't born there. Only you, my love.'

Cathy was silent, holding her breath, yet wanting to talk. 'Jacob?' She waited for his response. 'You know all the circumstances of me being born there don't you?'

'Yes, of course I do. We have talked about it so many times. Your connection to my mother and father almost got me thinking you were my sister, remember?'

'I know you are aware of so many things about me which I don't know myself, for sure.'

'That may be true but nothing matters to me except that you love me. I don't even know if the whys matter either.'

'Jacob you came to me untouched. I hate that I gave myself to someone else before you.' She blurted out the words almost unwilingly.

'But you didn't know me then,' he countered easily hoping to quell any rising distress.

'It doesn't matter to you?'

'I told you what matters Cathy and I meant it.'

'Can you see my life Jacob?'

His affirmative response came quickly. There was no need to lie or prevaricate. His wife would know immediately.

'If I ask you to tell me about it, would you?'

'I will tell you the truth of what I see. The energy which provides me with the interpretation will be unknown to me.'

'I want to know. I really do. I think I am ready but before you tell me about my mother I want to tell you about a time when I…when I..I…'

'Suppose I tell you that I saw that time. I know what he tried to do to you. I saw your mother fight for your life and how the event changed her.'

'Jacob he told me I made him do it. I didn't want to. I didn't want to.'

From deep inside he could feel her pain. Jacob understood her vulnerability and how she had been programmed to believe something so untrue.

'Cathy, my experience is not vast. I am young in this world. There are many things you have seen and done which are not known to me because I was raised in a protected environment. What I do know is that my childhood was safe because my father kept me safe. You had no one to protect you. Your mother's weakness to men made you vulnerable to the practiced art of childhood predators. Men and women who seduce children use many means to make a child believe that they were somehow complicit in the act. When I was in school this discussion was painful to me because of the children who came below. It touched my heart, just as you do in your innocence. He hurt you KitCAt. He is fully responsible. You were a child and hold no responsibility for his behaviour, no matter what he said.'

'Terry told me that too.'

'Believe it, no matter how many times you have to say it to yourself. I love you Cathy, as you are today. What you bring from the past is part of what makes you a whole person but it isn't you. I say this again, what matters to me is simply that I love you. Nothing more!'

Cathy squeezed her husband pulling him closer. His words were those of a man so much older and wiser than the youthful boy who smiled at her in that magical way on his first day at work. They endured so much together. He had grown with his experiences. She needed to do the same.

Cathy knew that she wanted to hear about her mother. The missing pieces of her life story continued to plague her dreams. The chronicle of Arden and Knut was a sad, but loving aspect of her inheritance from Frederick. She knew that Lena's story would not be any more uplifting. Despite telling Jacob she was ready, Cathy did not prompt him for words which could change her sense of self in a heartbeat. Instead she succumbed to the insistent but tender touch of his hand on her skin. The butterfly gentleness he used to calm and steady her was just what she needed to feel precious and cherished. Giving tacit consent, at last, to his unrelenting, quiet, seduction, she turned in his arms enjoying the beauty of anyone's offering of love, freely and joyously and without guilt, for the first time in her life.

'Vincent, this place is magical, mysterious and scary all at the same time. How is it possible that somewhere like this could really exist?'

'It just does! My father fashioned this community out of love and a desire for safety, drawing in those disadvantaged souls who could find no home above.'

'It is so hard to imagine that in this day and age, during a time of financial success and all the freedoms it brings... in a country as rich as this, why do people have to hide.'

'We don't all see it as hiding. For some of us, it is simply home, a place of love and warmth and sharing.'

'That's what you see isn't it?'

Motioning for Terry to sit down he joined her on the rocks by the waterfall. 'I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel all of those things but since Catherine has come back to me I confess to being happy everywhere she is. The things I used to fear, no longer haunt me. I can live life above or below. What and who I am only matters if Catherine is bothered by them. As long as she is at my side, all the fear I had... of exposure... is gone.'

'It must have been quite a journey for you to travel west if you had not been out of here before.'

Vincent's hearty laugh expressed some derisiveness at his unfounded fears of being above. 'I think Father was more worried about me than I was of myself. When I fell in love, the world became a different place.'

The pair sat for awhile, taking in the sight and sound of the water trickling over the rocks, the cool and damp ambience permeating the air. Vincent did not seem inclined to linger.

'Let's go Terry. I want to show you the nursery and take you to my father if he is up.'

They made their way along narrow passages. Vincent who was quite sure footed, offered assistance to Terry when she faltered. Negotiating the slippery and sometimes narrow walkways was a challenge to those unused to life below. They made their way to the nursery where squalling babies could be heard. Celeste came forward immediately.

'Vincent Wells…you have brought a friend.' A rare smile lit her face.

'This is Terry…Theresa who helped Catherine. She has also provided some milk for the babies.'

'Thank you Terry Theresa. Your milk is good. You have helped my little Boduna recover. She was very sickly.'

'May I see her Celeste?'

Terry stared down into the face of a little olive skinned girl. It was hard to tell, in the shadowy light, if she was jaundiced or not but there were dark circles beneath the wide frightened eyes.

'Oh poor little one. Where is your mother? You are so sad looking. Would you smile a little for me?' Terry touched the little face and stroked a hand reaching out to her. The infant responded to the soft voice with a little whimper. It tore at Terry's heart. She remembered how Cilla had said baby girl. This was the child who was able to get milk.

'Tell me about her Celeste.'

' 's hard to know anything Terry Theresa. Her mother is a woman of the streets. She is drug addicted like many of our babies born to those mothers. They cry for the drugs just like their mothers. There is no way to soothe, except with love.'

Tears filled Terry's eyes. 'My God, how little we realize what our actions do but I understand that the addict is just as helpless as this little baby.'

Terry went from child to child. She wished for a bag full of medical supplies and equipment to help them but she too was helpless to do anything except offer a few words of comfort. She could have picked up each one and hugged them, hoping to infuse a little more life into their frail bodies but Vincent advised against it. 'You are going home to a small child and getting married. These babies have been exposed to illnesses, we don't know about. Some may be contagious. Another time Terry, when you are better prepared.'

'You are right of course but I will not forget this.'

They moved on through the tunnels towards father's chambers. A short burly figure came barreling down in front of them. He had bright blue eyes and wispy grayish blonde hair flying in all directions.

'Vincent, please tell me this is mouse.'

'It is indeed. Mouse, this is Terry who brought Catherine back to us.'

'Hmmm….ok good, ok fine. Good person Miss Terry.'

The young middle aged man was shocked to find himself in a great bear hug. 'Thank you for being who you are mouse. Thanks to you and your special ways, I was able to help Catherine find her way back to life.'

'Me…thank you….I like Catherine. Glad to have her home. Vincent happy. Mouse happy…ok good….ok fine.'

'Oh Vincent there are miracles in this life. Mouse is one of them. I can see why he was totally unforgettable.'

They spent a few more minutes trying to get more out of the extroverted and excitable man but his happiness seemed to overflow causing him to ramble on. Vincent soon put a halt to the words in a firm and kindly way by promising to bring Terry back for another visit.

'Soon, soon Miss Terry' he replied, hands waving a protracted and friendly goodbye.

'This is like full circle Vincent.'

Terry's visit with Father and Mary was less complicated. They were a delightful elderly couple who seemed to accept that their roles in the tunnel community were mostly respectful. It was clear that neither of them was able to do much. Father was exceedingly grateful to Terry for returning Catherine to his son. She had spoken with him briefly at the wedding of Jacob and Cathy but there had been little chance for extended conversation. Before they parted company, Terry asked to speak with Mary privately while Vincent helped his father up.

'Mary, I understand that you were present when Cathy was born. Do you remember anything of her birth or her mother?'

'Not much, although I do remember them. Her mother was beautiful, lovely blonde hair. She was little more than a child herself, very troubled. She seemed to have no one in the world who cared about her until Catherine found her and brought her below. Why do you ask?'

'Cathy is dear to me. She is like a little sister. I so admire her work and what she is doing. If there is anything I can do to help her be happier and stronger, I will. Her childhood holds her back.'

'Yes her mother had no life and left us too early but I see her now quite grown up. Jacob will help her find her way.'

'Yes I expect that he will.'

Mary's confidence in Jacob seemed unshakeable. No doubt she raised him too. Terry felt heartened by knowing the woman behind the powerful men of the tunnels. She suspected that Mary had a strength of her own which she wielded when necessary. The women smiled into each other's eyes before sharing a warm hug.

'Come back soon.'

'I will Mary. I am sorry you and father will not be able to make it to the wedding but my thoughts will be with you.'

'And ours with you.'

Reluctantly, Terry and Vincent traversed the park leading back to the brownstone. She was deep in thought. The visit below had been a revelation. Whatever thoughts she harboured were buried immediately. The wedding was at the top of her priority list. After that, she would think about the tunnel community and what could be done to help those poor babies.

Before they entered the house she turned and raised on tip toe to kiss her host gently on the cheek. 'Thank you for taking me there Vincent. I am deeply moved by your home and your kind of large family. I hope to be considered a helper some day.'

Vincent smiled broadly in response. Her willingness to help wasn't unusual. Terry had been changed by her encounters with the tunnel community. He didn't know if he could fully understand what measure of creative energy existed below, but as he pushed open the door to his home he wondered about the unending series of miracles which happened in small ways every day. There was no time to ponder more. Terry had a flight to catch!