A/N: Filler chapter is a filler. I'm not too pleased with how this part came out, but hopefully the last chapter will be loads better. (It'll have more crack, at least.) But hey, Yozak makes a cameo appearance!

BTW, I totally meant what I said in the beginning, you guys. There's an engagement in the next chapter, but it's not what you're thinking. Whatever you're thinking, that's not it. No pairings get 100% ruled out, but seriously, it's in the title. This is not a romance. Have I really been all that misleading? ^^;

-----

July 28 – How Yuuri Finally Had Fun on His Dream Date

Yuuri rubbed his eyes with one hand as he clutched his pillow in the other. He had woken up completely, utterly, 100% exhausted.

"That. Was the shittiest sleep I've ever had in my entire life; even shittier than the time I pulled an all-nighter to cram for a final." Yuuri turned around until his bleary eyes settled on the stupid gramophone thing and pointed an accusing finger at it. "You're bad for my health."

With that, he rolled over to bury his head back into the pillow.

When he finally managed to crawl out of bed, after dozing off again, it was already after noon.

"Huh. That's strange... No one came to get me?" Conrad hadn't come to get him for their customary morning jog, and Gunter hadn't called to see if he was ready for the day's lessons. Yuuri shrugged and got dressed. He figured he'd find out when he went out.

As soon as he stepped out, however, his stomach growled, reminding him that he'd missed breakfast and it was already time for lunch. Chuckling in embarrassment, Yuuri strode down the halls toward the kitchen to see if he could grab a quick meal.

When he arrived, however, the place was bustling with activity. The cooks and servants ran back and forth, hauling in casks of wine and boxes of produce, grains, spices, and wrapped parcels that Yuuri could only assume held fresh meats of some sort. There seemed to be more people than usual, which meant that they had hired temporary help for this event.

"Ah, 'scuse me, coming through..." He scooted around the workers, looking for something that would make for a simple meal. Usually, there would be a pot of soup on one of the stoves, or some bread and cheese left out for the servants' lunch break. Yuuri often ate with the servants, which had surprised them all in the beginning, but was now accepted as just one of their king's many quirks.

Today, however, the tables were so loaded with ingredients that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began.

Effe was in the eye of the storm, overseeing the whole of the kitchen. She stood tall on a makeshift podium crafted from an empty produce crate, from which she was issuing commands like the demon drill sergeant of cookery. "You there! Take the extra flour to the north pantry! The beef needs to be marinated overnight! Peel those potatoes! Prepare the stuffing! Skin the chickens!"

Perhaps "demon drill sergeant" wasn't far from the truth. Did she learn those techniques from Gisela?

"Excuse me... Oh, sorry! 'Scuse me..." Yuuri bumbled his way toward her, only stopping to smile and wave people back to their work since they all insisted on bowing to him as he made his way through.

"Your Majesty!" Effe quickly patted down her apron and bowed to him. "What can I do for you, Your Majesty?"

"Ah, well... I was just wondering if I could get some lunch?"

"Oh my goodness! No one came to bring you a meal? I thought I'd told one of the new girls to send something to your office... I'm so sorry, Your Majesty!"

"No, no! It's fine! I overslept, so I wasn't in my office. It's not a big deal."

"Please, Your Majesty, if you would be kind enough as to wait in the courtyard, I shall bring your lunch shortly." Mortified at having left her king hungry, Effe stepped off and bustled her way into the middle of cooks. Yuuri lost track of her when she'd ducked in between two burly men wielding wicked-looking butcher knives.

"I guess I'll just go ahead, then." With another round of "excuse me, pardon me, coming through," Yuuri managed to make it through the kitchen's back door. By now, it was no secret to the castle's regular servants that he liked to do things outside. He liked having his meals outside when the weather was nice. He begged and wheedled until Gunter let him have lessons outside, too.

Yuuri took in a deep breath of the sweet summer air as he waited.

In a moment, Effe came out with a tray laden with fresh bread, fruits, cheese, and cold cuts. The chef bowed again and was about to excuse herself and return to her duties in the kitchen when Yuuri called out for her to wait.

"Ah, hold on, Effe! Where's everyone been? I figured Conrad might have let me sleep in today, but then Gunter should have come to get me for my morning lessons, or at least Gwendal should have sent someone to get me and then chewed me out for not looking over the documents with him..."

"Everyone's been busy all morning, Your Majesty. Lord Weller's been with the guards, coordinating the security for the event, and Lord von Kleist has been checking and double-checking all the guest lists and appointments for entertainers," she explained. "Preparations are being done in the banquet hall right now. Lord von Kleist is probably there with Lady Cheri to supervise the workers. I've no idea about Lord von Voltaire, though."

"Huh. Well, thanks for the food, Effe!"

"You're welcome, Your Majesty."

As she retreated into the whirling activity of the kitchen, Yuuri dug into his meal with relish. His mind, however, was frantically racing. Should he go to the banquet hall and ask to help? Should he find Conrad? Look around for Gwendal? Where was Wolfram? Effe hadn't mentioned him.

"There you are, Yuuri! Brother's been looking for you!"

Oh. Well, that was one question answered.

"Gwendal's been looking for me? Why? Where is he?"

Wolfram stalked his way up to Yuuri's table and took the seat across from the Maou. "He's in his office; he just sent me to wake you up, but you weren't in your room. Lord Weller tried to call you down this morning, but you wouldn't budge! Then Anissina said something about it being the influence of her invention, and that you had to sleep it off. What the hell are you doing with the Poison Lady's inventions? Do you have a death wish?!"

"Ah, that is... It's complicated."

"Hmph." Wolfram crossed his arms over his chest and snorted at Yuuri in disdain. "Whatever. Just be sure to get some actual work done today. I have to get back to helping the decorators soon."

"In the banquet hall, right?"

"Of course!"

"So... Wolfram..." Yuuri sent a probing question to his friend, who looked at him with suspicion. "You wouldn't need an extra hand in there, would you?"

"If by that you mean, 'Will I help you escape from paperwork?' the answer is no. Don't even try that with me. I'm not a pushover like Weller."

Wolfram sent one last mistrustful glance at Yuuri, admonishing him for attempting to shirk his duties. Yuuri chuckled nervously and returned to his lunch as Wolfram left the table.

-----

Yuuri flopped onto his bed, rubbing at the small of his back. He was cramping up from spending so many hours sitting at a desk! After lunch, he had peeked into the banquet hall and seen people bustling around, setting up tables and hanging decorations on the walls. Wolfram had been picking out paintings to go on the walls, but had glared over as he saw Yuuri trying to sneak in.

Yuuri had subsequently run for the hills. Meaning he ended up in the office, where Gwendal glared at him for being late and shoved some papers at him. Really! It wasn't just the brothers' smiles that were alike. Their glares were eerily similar, too. Thank goodness he didn't have to deal with Conrad's scary face on a regular basis...

Speaking of Conrad, he hadn't seen him at all during the day. As he lay in bed, though, Yuuri grimaced at the idea of Conrad's appearance in the dream world, and then he thought about the conversation they had the night before.

"Maybe I should stand my ground..."

The transition into the dream world went as usual. One moment he was ensconced in darkness, and in the next he was waking up in an eerily silent copy of his room. Yuuri stretched and pulled the covers off, waiting for Conrad to come get him.

Just as expected, Conrad knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Yuuri turned toward the doorway with a smile for his Fairy Godfather, but then... "Eh? Where's Conrad?"

"He's busy. I'm your Fairy Godmother~" Yozak's sultry voice grated through Yuuri's eardrums in the most unsexy way possible.

Yuuri looked over at the spy. He'd gotten used to Yozak's strange disguises over the years, from old men to rich merchants to buff ladies. Yozak especially had a fondness for the buff ladies. This outfit, however, was really extreme, even for Yozak. The lacy pink dress clashed horribly with his hair. The dainty ruffles and frills only served to highlight the sturdiness of his muscles.

But at least Yozak could pull off being a largish woman fairly well, Yuuri thought. Unlike Conrad. Or maybe it was just that Yozak went to the trouble of stuffing his bra.

"H-hey, Yozak. So you're gonna help me out tonight?"

"Yup! You betcha!" Yozak winked and, following in Conrad's footsteps, twirled and sent his magic flowing over Yuuri. Poof! And Yuuri was in his formal gentleman's finery again.

"Thanks, Yozak. But, well, I was just wondering if I could maybe try something different tonight. Would that be okay?"

"It's your dream, kiddo. You're in control of your destiny."

"Yeah, I got it. I just think my mind must hate me to make me dream this stuff up in the first place. That, or Anissina's more of a sadist than I thought."

Yozak placed a reassuring hand on Yuuri's shoulder and they descended the stairs together. When they came to the double doors of the banquet hall, the androgynous spy... er, Fairy Godmother winked again and disappeared in a puff of pink glitter.

Yuuri paused before the door just like he had the other night. He lay a hand on the polished wood, but didn't move to push it. What was he going to do to stand his ground? Would he bust in there and rip off his mask? Saunter over to the center and proclaim that he'd taken a vow of celibacy?

No, that would be a lie.

Would he just turn down whoever tried to get close to him? That could work, but Yuuri just didn't have it in him to be harsh, so he always ended up getting bossed around when it came to relationship things. Wasn't that how the engagement with Wolfram had lasted so long?

No, that wouldn't do either.

Would he... Wait. Did he even have to enter the ball in the first place? It was his dream, wasn't it? Technically speaking, if he was in control of everything here, he could bend the events to suit him as he liked.

As Yuuri thought this, he heard footsteps coming from behind.

"Good evening, Your Majesty."

With his hand still on the door, Yuuri turned around and saw Conrad, only it was actually Conrad. "Conrad? What are you doing here?" Without sparkles, I mean... his mind tacked on.

"Ah, well you did ask why I wasn't one of your suitors, so I suppose I am now."

"Ha! You're really good at this charming gentleman act, aren't you? It fits you better than the tiara, that's for sure."

"I assure you, if I am, then that's the way you perceive me. After all, this is your dream."

"Yeah, yeah. But…you still know what's going on. You still remember everything, for some reason. You don't reset like the others."

"I remember because you want me to remember. Perhaps because you trust me to remember."

"Oh." That was...quite an interesting concept. "Well, I don't quite get it, but in that case, since we can hang out tonight, do you want to ditch the ball? I can do that, right?"

Yeah, he thought. They would ditch this stuffy ball and go play baseball or something. If it was his dream, he could make anything happen!

"Sure," Conrad said with a knowing smile. "There's a baseball stadium not far away. State of the art. Retractable roof."

"Whoa. Wait a minute! A baseball stadium suddenly appearing in Shin Makoku? With a retractable roof?!"

"Of course. It's your dream."

"This dream is awesome."

They grinned at each other for a moment, and then Yuuri finally took his hand off the door. Conrad held out his hand for Yuuri, and the two of them left the castle.

Once outside, Yuuri could actually see a baseball stadium! It was like a pipe dream! (Well, then again, it had all been like a pipe dream. This one was just better than the one last night.) But...wow. For once since this whole masquerade debacle had started, Yuuri felt that he was in control. It was like he'd had these powers all along, only he hadn't known how to use them.

"I'll race you!" he called out. Yuuri sped off toward the stadium with Conrad following close behind him.

Yuuri closed his eyes as he ran, and when he opened them, the dream world had shifted again according to his desires. He and Conrad were standing in the middle of the baseball field, with all the proper uniforms and equipment.

And they... played catch.

Because that was really all that Yuuri wanted at the moment.

"This is a really bad fairy tale," he said as they threw down their mitts and lay on the grassy field.

"How so?"

"Well, the Fairy Godmother is a man. That doesn't happen very often. Oh, and there's a Fairy Godfather, too, and he's a Red Sox fan. There's no princess. The Fairy Godfather ran off with the Demon King. You would think that meant they were eloping, but no, they just went to play baseball in a state-of-the-art stadium with a retractable roof. The Demon King is a Red Sox fan, too. Do I need to say any more?"

"This may not conform to the standards, but I rather like it, Yuuri."

Yuuri shifted onto his side so that his hand was on his chin as he looked at Conrad. His friend had both hands behing his head and his eyes closed. There was, of course, that gentle, secretive smile on his face, as always. "Yeah, me too. And you know what I like about the dream version of you, Conrad?"

"Hmm?"

"I never have to remind you to call me Yuuri!"

Conrad chuckled as he said, "This is your dream, Yuuri. You're in control of your destiny here. And…" He paused to turn towards Yuuri, a blindingly bright smile on his face. "Please remember that you control your destiny out there, too."