Chapter Seven
Ryan stopped at the door to the hospital room. His hand gripped the handle and squeezed.
She could drive him crazy. Beg him to love her, to come closer and closer and fight for them. Then push him away and say it didn't really matter. But her eyes always told him it did. It was all that mattered in this moment.
Without looking at her, he said "I hate that you lost your faith in me."
"You lost your love for me. I think that's a hell of a lot worse," Kendall said.
He spun around.
(All of these lines across my face
tell you the story of
who I am.
So many stories of where I've been.
And how I got to
where I am.
But these stories don't mean anything
when you've got no one to
tell them to.
It's true...I was made for you) ( Brandi Carlile)
"Just go," Kendall hissed. "You aren't sure and I can see it all over your face."
With huge steps he crossed the room and was back by her side.
He gently cupped her face, "I'm not sure how we can work out...we hurt each other every time...but if I am going to be broken hearted I want it to be over you...because I'm sick of running away from us...I want to stay here and love you...let me."
"Ryan," she whispered.
She thought of how far she had gone to win his love back. And how if she had the chance she would do it all again, only better, so that he never married Greenlee. Kendall thought about what she would do to any woman who ever tried to take Ryan away from her and Spike now. Annihilate is the word that came to her mind.
(I climbed across the
mountain tops.
Swam all across the
ocean blue.
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules.
But, baby,
I broke them all for you.
Because even when I was flat broke
you made me feel like a million
bucks.
Yeah, you do, and
I was made for you.)
Before she could say anymore he was kissing her and she was lost in the feel of him. It was more than just passion, it was the feeling of home and of her other half being right where he was supposed to be. For only when she was touching Ryan, or holding his little boy, did Kendall ever feel completely at peace.
"Let me love you," he begged again. "I could walk away and say I don't want you. I could marry someone sweet and reliable. A sure bet. I could...but I want you, Kendall. Don't make me live a lie. Let me be the man who makes you happy. I will do whatever it takes to make you see that you and me...we are the ones who should make it...we should because if not the whole world will be wrong."
He had tears in his eyes when he said, "I love you, Kendall. I would stop if I could but I can't..."
In a small voice filled with all her insecurities she asked, "Why would you stop?"
"So we wouldn't break each other again. It killed me to not be with you. And I worried it was driving you to do ...insane things that could have gotten you hurt..."
"I would have done anything to get you back, Ryan." She raised her hands, with the IV attached to it still, to touch him, needing desperately to hold on to him.
He whispered, as his thumb stroked her cheek, "I am right here."
"Say it again," Kendall ordered with teary eyes and a smile on her face.
"I love you."
She replied back, "About damn time."
Ryan chuckled. "You know I never stopped."
"I knew all along," she said. "Its just good to hear you admit it."
(You see the smile that's on
my mouth
Is hiding the words that don't
come out
And all of my friends who think that
I'm blessed
They don't know my head is
a mess
No, they don't know who I really am.
And they don't know what
I've been through
but you do
And I was made for you...) Brandi Carlile)
He started to smile, with joy and relief, and soon she was smiling right back at him.
"You know I love you right?" she asked "Only you. ALWAYS you. I was going to marry Zach and try to be someone different but the problem is...I can't. I can only be Kendall and...at the core of who that is...is a woman...who is crazy about you."
She touched her necklace, "I'm stuck on you, Lavery."
Ryan let out a long breath and murmured, "Thank God," before leaned over and kissed her again.
Coming up- The last chapter. I am not sure if I will write more Rendall after this story. I suppose it depends on how bad AMC ticks me off. Considering Ryan's storyline it is pretty bad already.