Forsaken In My Mind's Past
Chapter 5, "Apocalypse Please" ~ Muse
*A/N: Big thanks to my original betas, THEsnapcrakklepop (check out her fic on ff-Blackout), Love Of Escapism, and ChristineC23. And of course, the talented Sam for the banner. Which you can see on my profile page. Much love, ladies! New readers are creeping in every day (unless my email box is lying to me. Lol.), and I love it! If you're reading, please review! I want to know what you think. I promise I will read it and respond. Ok, on with the madness. Bella's wrath is not pretty. Read on.
** I wanted to let you all know I've gone back on each chapter and posted a you tube link to the song and chapter title. I put a lot into choosing a song for the chapter, and each one signifies what the chapter is all about, sets the tone. I'd love it if you listened to the song while you read!
Song Link, Apocalypse Please: .com/watch?v=YFrl01aPPkA
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended and there is no financial gain by myself for this story. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters…I do not. I own the jumbled mess of words you see below. ©2009/2010 WickedCurveBall74/RobsMyEdibleArt, All rights reserved worldwide
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"Declare this an emergency,
Come on and spread a sense of urgency
And pull us through
And pull us through
And this is the end….of the world
It's time we saw a miracle
Come on it's time for something biblical
To pull us through
And pull us through
And this is the end….of the world
Proclaim eternal victory
Come on and change the course of history
And pull us through
And pull us through
And this is the end….this is the end…of the world"
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Instantly, I was filled with rage as I used both of my hands to shove Jacob away with everything I had in me. He took a couple of steps backward and shifted his glare to me, then widened his eyes in shock as he took in my toxic scowl.
"What the fuck are you doing, Jake?" I roared. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was appalled at the way he was acting. Who the fuck did he think he was?
I whipped around and started to follow Jessica to see if Mike was ok. Jacob hooked his huge hand to the inside of my elbow, and I was jerked back around to face him. I heard a loud crack and was stunned as I realized the palm of my hand had encountered his cheek violently.
I gasped and for a brief moment, and was taken aback by my own actions. It was short-lived, however, as my mind quickly put back together the sequence of events that had taken place just moments before; I could feel my body begin to tremble once again with rage.
"Bella!" he blurted, one hand resting on his cheek, the other gripping my arm. The look on his face was a mixture of shock, confusion, and anger.
I seethed and screamed at him. "You stupid, jealous fucking idiot!"
His eyes darted from me to Mike and back to me as he spoke through clenched teeth. I could see his jugular throbbing on the side of his neck.
"What do you mea- what are you- you're going over there, to see if that jerk is ok? He-He just kissed you…on your hand…and you let him…with your husband standing not twenty feet away! What the hell, Bella?"
I was so angry that I could've sworn the entire room turned blood-red. I clenched my fists, glaring, my chest now heaving in and out, as I tried to regain control before one of us ended up in jail. It was then that I realized my right hand was throbbing, but I paid no attention to it, and continued my tirade aimed at Jacob.
"Are you kidding me?" I spat, then roared, "You're fucking kidding me, right?"
He shook his head slightly, in confusion.
"Goddamn you, Jacob Black! That jerk, or asshole, or whatever the hell you called him, happens to be Jessica's boyfriend…well, ex-boyfriend, but now boyfriend! He was actually being a gentleman. I mean, I know that's something you don't quite understand, but…" and he cut me off,
"Bells. Hold on a minute…I-I'm—" He looked conflicted as he shifted his eyes from me to Mike to Jess and back to me, but his expression became more like he wanted to tuck his tail right between his legs.
I held my hand up and closed my eyes, still breathing fire and gritting my teeth.
"I don't want to hear anything out of you, Jake. Now, if you'll excuseme, I have to go and explain to someone I JUST MET…that my husband is a jealous motherfucker! That my ridiculous husband thought that he was trying to take me home and screw my brains out! I've fucking had it with this shit, Jake!First, you embarrass me in front of Edward when I was just talking to him…"
He smirked and shook his head.
"And YES, we were just talking, you psycho…and now this shit! You need to seriously get a hold of yourself, Jake, because you are really just embarrassing yourself! Now, fucking let go of me!"
I saw the muscles in his jaw tighten as he clenched his teeth. He took a deep breath through his nose, causing his nostrils to flare, and closed his eyes. He let go of my left arm, which he had a tight grip on, and crossed his arms across his chest, his biceps bulging through his tight-fitting shirt.
"Jesus, Bella, why don't you watch your mouth? Do you really have to use that word every time you open it?" He hissed, looking at me in disgust.
I cocked my head to the side and raised an eyebrow at him,
"What word, Jake? F-U-C-K?"I said it slow and deliberate, enunciated each letter. "That fucking word, Jake?" I fumed, provoking him.
He narrowed his eyes, glaring at me. I did the same, and for about sixty full seconds, it was a full on glare-a-thon. Neither of us blinked.
"Bella! Bella!" It was Jess calling me, pulling me out of my raging indignation. I turned my head to see what was going on and was surprised to see that a few of the guys had walked over to her and Mike. They were standing around them.
It was Emmett, Jasper and Edward. Emmett and Jasper were standing just to the side of Mike and Jess, with their arms crossed over their chests, and seemed to be involved in a serious conversation. Their faces somber; they would look from each other to Jake and me, then back at each other.
Great.
They probably thought I was the world's biggest bitch right now.
Humph. Like I care, I thought.
Edward, who apparently had removed his party hat and replaced it with his doctor hat, was leaning down a little. He had his hands on either side of Mike's head and he was moving it slowly in all directions, asking him questions each time he moved it. Someone, I assume Jess (and on Edward's direction I was sure) had gone to the bar and gotten a cloth with ice in it, which Mike was holding to the side of his head. I watched Edward, in all his beautiful doctor glory, as he lifted the ice pack and gently pressed on the tender area. Mike responded with a slight wince and raised his shoulders in an obvious show of pain.
One of the bouncers had walked over to Edward and Mike. He asked a question to which I saw Edward gesture to himself and say something that looked like it included the word "doctor". He then said, as I read his exquisite, doctor lips, "I think he'll be ok," to the bouncer, who glanced at Jake. I noticed him mentally take in Jake's physical size, scowl and then stalk away.
"Humph…" I heard Jake snicker. "…what a freaking marshmallow-ass pussy."
I whipped around like an Oklahoma tornado, the proverbial steam exploding from what seemed like every orifice of my face. I clenched my fists into tight balls, ready and willing. This time…I wanted to punch him in the face instead of slapping him. I was suddenly reminded by the sharp, throbbing pain that shot from my fingers to the crux of my elbow, that I was in no shape to be hitting anything and probably was in need of some ice myself. As painful as it was, I kept my hands clenched into fists and slammed them to my sides…jutting them toward the floor, growling and spitting like a rabid dog.
"Ugh! You stupid fucking moron! Is there something mentally wrong with you?I think you just might need to get your head checked!Maybe…just maybewe should callDoctor Edward over here to check you out too, hmm?"
It was a low blow, I knew that, but at this point, he had pushed me beyond my capabilities of control and I was teetering dangerously on the edge of an all-out, total and complete mental meltdown.
He looked at me in shock for about ten seconds before he narrowed his eyes. The only thing I could see in his eyes was darkness…like two perfectly round onyx staring back at me. His pupils dilated in anger and he lowered his head to meet my stare, his forehead almost touching mine, and he hissed through his teeth.
"Good one, Bells, I bet you'd like that…you probably want to—"
I cut him off. He meant for this gesture to scare me, but I didn't flinch at all.
"Shut up, Jake! Just shut the fuck up!" I used my left pointer finger and shoved it into his massive chest, "You make me sick," I snarled. "I'm leaving…right now! I have to get awayfrom you. I need some space." With that, I swung around to my left and started to stalk off in the direction of Mike and Jess, barely noticing Emmett and Jazz staring at us with concern.
"Oh, you're not going anywhere!" Jake snarled back at me. He reached out at the same time as my right hand flung backward with my momentum, and grabbed on to it.
I heard the scream, but didn't realize it had come from my own lips until I felt the excruciating pain completely engulf my hand. I doubled over, feeling sick to my stomach, holding my right hand with my left.
In a flash, both Emmett and Jasper were at Jacob's sides, holding his arms and pushing him backward.
"Dude, Dude, Dude…" I heard Emmett call out.
Then I heard Jasper's southern drawl. "Jake, what the fuck are you doing? Relax, man, she's hurt!"
"I didn't do anything," Jacob growled. "I grabbed her hand!" I looked up and saw recognition flicker in his eyes. "It must've been the one she slapped me with." Just as I scowled in his direction, and turned my back on him, I heard him call out, "Dammit! Bells…I'm sorry!"
"Man, just back the fuck off, Jesus Christ!" I heard Emmett's voice shout. That might have been the one and only time that I actually recognized anger lacing it.
At that same moment, I felt someone's hand on my shoulders, slowly moving me to stand up.
"Oh!" Jessica, who was still hovering around Mike, had just noticed me. I was still doubled over and my face, I was certain, was twisted in pain as I tried not to pass out.
Poor girl, she hasn't been subjected to my 'Jerry Springer' life up until now.
"Bella! My God, is she ok?" Jessica squealed again.
I heard a sigh and a voice…a voice I would know if I was lost on a desolate planet on the opposite side of the universe. The voice spoke so low it was almost a whisper. "Hey," the beautiful sound engulfed me.
A rush of calm swept over me and I rose up…too quickly. The dizziness hit me like a ton of bricks, and I nearly collapsed in his arms.
Fuck, I hate myself for being this weak in front of him, of all people.
He cupped my face with his hand and I felt a jolt of electricity run through my body. "Yeah, I think she's going to make it," he responded to Jessica with a breathy chuckle. I looked up at him and tried to smile as he held my head in place, forcing me to look into his eyes.
Bastard.
I felt faint again, but this time, not from the pain.
"H—hey there slugger," he laughed softly but sounded exasperated, as if he was trying to hide his concern. "Uh, y—you alright?"
I sighed, a deep…exhausted…overwhelmed sigh and nodded my head, "Uh, yeah. I slapped Jake," I mumbled without thinking.
He chuckled under his breath again.
I looked up at him, the expression on my face, I was sure, one of confusion and chagrin.
"Um, yes, I—we…pretty much saw that coming." He grinned wildly and I rolled my eyes.
"Glad I amuse you so much." I glanced down at my hand, which was visibly swelling and already starting to bruise.
"Shit," I breathed, "my hand is killing me."
He slowly reached for it and looked me in the eye. "May I?" he asked, sounding very doctor-like. My legs went weak, and it wasn't from pain at all. Edward's voice was enough to bring me to my knees at any given time, but when he used his "doctor" tone, I pictured him in a lab coat…and nothing else. I shook my head, bringing myself back to the reality of the situation.
"Wait," I said as I sucked in a breath and jerked back away from him a little. "F—forget about this. I need to know how Mike is doing. Is he ok?"
He nodded his head and spoke softly, his voice dripping with silver and gold. "He's fine. Just got the wind knocked out of him, and the side of his head is a little tender. No signs of a concussion at all. He just needs to keep some ice on the bump, maybe take a pain pill or two, and before you know it, he'll be kissing strange girls' hands like nobody's business." He grinned, crinkling his eyes, and undeniable warmth spread through my body like wildfire.
"Bella?" I heard Jess's timid voice as she approached me with obvious caution; as if I would crack like an eggshell should she touch me.
"Oh my God, Jess, I am so fucking sorry about all of this! I can't believe that stupid son-of-a-b—,"I stopped when I saw her shaking her head.
"No, no. Please, he's fine ok?" She laughed weakly and continued. "He said he'd probably have done the same thing if he thought some guy was trying to hit on me." She rolled her eyes, "But I think he's really trying to play off the embarrassment."
"I know, Jess, I'm so sorry. I have to go and apologize to Mike." She nodded her head and I tore myself from Edward's force field, and then stalked toward where Mike was standing. He had taken the ice off his head and was looking somewhere between stunned and utterly humiliated. His friend Eric was standing next to him, and they seemed to be involved in a quiet, but light-hearted conversation. Eric was an equally, if not more, nerdy guy…wearingthick glasses that disappeared into his dark, shaggy hair which covered his ears.
"M—Mike?" I stammered, feeling like the biggest heel on the face of the planet. He seemed startled, but when he looked at me, his eyes softened.
"God, Mike, I am so sorry! My husband…he's…well…he's a jealous asshole and he overreacted. God, I'm so sorry. Are…are you ok?" I could feel my face getting hot and my eyes starting to well up a little.
Mike chuckled softly and reached his hand up to the tender spot on his head.
"H—hey there, Bella. I'll be alright. Don't you worry about me, fair Isa-bella!" He brought back his sad impression of an Italian accent, eliciting a relieved giggle from me.
"Oh, thank God! I was so afraid you were really hurt and—"
"Oh, no," he said and threw his head back a little as if that was a ridiculous insinuation. "Fit as a fiddle, Ma'am. Really, I'd probably be the same way if I thought some dude was trying to hit on my woman."
I smiled, internally rolling my eyes. "Ok, Mike. Well again, I'm so very sorry and if you need anything, please let me know."
"I'm all good." He pounded on his chest lightly, mimicking King Kong.
I placed my hand on his and spoke so low it was almost a whisper, "Alright, well, I better get back to Dr. Cullen over there. It seems I can't slap my jerk of a husband without injuring myself."
He furrowed his brow, "Oh, ouch. Well, ok, um, you go take care of that. Hey, and don't be too hard on him. For me? Like I said, I'm really ok. Oh, and tell Doc Edward over there I said thanks. He seems like a really decent guy. Uh, i—is he a friend of yours?"
I frowned at that word…friend…before I sighed. "Uh, yeah. Well, he's sort of a friend of Jake's…err…my husband," I mumbled, "but there's a little bit of history there I guess. Um, I've known him for a while."
Mike nodded knowingly and grinned. "Yeah, I figured that much," he said with the slightest hint of sarcasm, and I caught it.
I drew in a breath. "What? What do you mean?" I asked, looking incredulous and shaking my head slightly.
He chuckled and shook his head, "Nothing. Just…some things are too strong to deny. Now, go see Doc and get your hand looked at."
I was stunned. I gave him a weak, half-hearted smile as I tried to process what he had just said to me.
"Oh, uh, ok. I'll see ya, Mike." I turned back toward Edward, who was alternating his glance from me to the floor and back to me.
My God.
Is it that fucking obvious?
Am I such a pathetic idiot…that even Mike could see it?
I caught his gaze the second time he shifted his eyes back to me and we both froze. When I slowly started toward him again, I felt like I was drifting in slow motion. The noise from the crowded bar seems to dissipate and everyone seemed to melt away…everyone but him. His eyes widened as he took in my expression and it was almost as if we could hear one another's hearts beating.
For the first time in a long time, I was no longer confused about what I wanted…what I needed. On the other hand, I was devastated by the fact that I knew I would never have it…again. Still, his eyes seemed to be talking to me, to my heart. "Let's get out of here," they said; his hypnotizing voice rang absolute in my head, "be with me."
I wondered what it would take, to simply just disappear…with him. What would it would be like to just forget my life with Jacob and plunge head first into the love I once lost…the love I still needed.
All at once, I thought of my children and snapped myself out of the ridiculous fantasy I was conjuring up. How could I do that to them? They were the most important people in my life, and even if Edward did want the same thing I did…or thought I did…maybe I didn't…I wasn't sure…which he didn't…there would be no way around hurting my babies. Jacob would see to it that things got very messy and ugly. That was a fact.
Suddenly, my decision was all too clear. I needed to go. I needed to separate myself; I needed to get as far away from this place, from Jacob, and from Edward, in order to regain my senses. It had to be done…and I needed to do it now.
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*A/N: Uh-huh…I told you she was a feisty one, that Bella. Shouldn't Jake know better, married to her for ten years? Meh, but he doesn't. So, what do you think she's going to do? You think she'll run? You think she'll stay? Will she run away with Edward? Stay tuned to find out. Reviewers get a free physical exam from Docward. *smirk*