A/N: For the sake of the story, please just work with my OC's codename. OTL I know it's not that good.

Soon there will be less entries and more actual storyline.

Entry 31

Entering a new school –and high school at the same time- was as terrifying as it was thrilling. Nobody there knew us. Our parents had no clue where we were. We were free for the first time and we were taking the step into adulthood together, hand-in-hand. We didn't have all of the same classes, but we were thankful for that. This year we were focused on finding new friends. We hadn't tried to get any in our old school. It was just the two of us during that time. Now we would gather friends.

Luckily our school is nice! I had friends in no time. Um…for the sake of the story I guess I'll have to give codenames for them as well considering they're gonna be popping up here a lot.

Within a couple of weeks America had already made friends or at least chatted with many of the kids from his classes. At lunch I sat with him and I was able to talk to them as well. I was generally ignored by them though because of how quiet I am –thanks to my mother's care- so it wasn't as fun for me. That is, until Prussia.

Prussia was the first of our now-official group of friends to sit with us. The guy's always been cool even though he's kind of annoying. He's loud and egotistical, but the guy was always talking to not just me but Canada as well, and that was props to him.

The next person was a girl that we've dubbed for this Moon who came over to us saying she was one of Prussia's friends –which she was- and asked if she could sit with us too. We let her and we easily became friends with her, although I had started to get nervous by this point. America and I held hands under the table for comfort. New people were entering our world. And they just kept coming.

Next was Japan. He's this quiet little guy who was dating Moon. He's older than us by two years. At first he just kind of sat down and was really quiet but after I got him talking about video games we quickly became friends. He's one of my best friends! But the last to come was the best –England. The guy looked like he was pissed when he came over and appeared that he sat against his own will.

Moon assured us he was just sulking.

But we discovered he's just like that. But it wasn't long before we had him talking (fighting, arguing, chatting, bitching, take your pick) to me and Canada. We had finally found a strong group of friends that we were accepted in. We couldn't have been happier.

Arthur refused to accept the thoughts running through his head. It was all coincidental. America and Canada were not his friends Alfred and Matthew. Yes, the recent descriptions seemed similar –and the countries that represented their friends were definitely their homelands (except for Nicole, but she was American for the most part) - but they couldn't possibly be one in the same. Such a thing would've been obvious, right? About Alfred and Matthew loving each other –about them having a brother complex.

But at the same time Arthur had begun to notice the way the brothers treated each other. They seemed to need to have constant knowledge of where the other was or else they begin to panic a little. Alfred and Matthew sat next to each other every chance they received. And then there was the incident with the bullies Arthur had witnessed.

Arthur shook his head furiously. No! Stop it! They're just two brothers that happen to be close and don't live with their parents…and get upset when their parents are mentioned…and…He froze in his thoughts as he remembered how Alfred had acted towards the talk of parents –asking about Arthur's family relationships and then closing off suddenly and harshly when Arthur tried to get the same information from him. He stared at his computer screen in pure shock, his breathing coming a little faster. Oh my Lord, America and Canada are Alfred and Matthew.

He put his face into his hands. Arthur wasn't going to deny himself –he knew that he was a genius. He knew that his analysis deduction skills were second to none. He could deny what his mind had come up with already long ago the moment he became suspicious. He knew all along but he was too afraid to accept it. It wasn't that he had a problem with Alfred and Matthew doing…things together (although admittedly that was part of it –common sense told him it was just wrong) but it was more if Alfred and Matthew were together, what hope did Arthur have? He couldn't compete with a brother that had been with Alfred since birth. And he couldn't easily walk up to Alfred and tell him his love was wrong and try to seduce him. Alfred would hate him forever. Arthur had no chance to be together with Alfred.

He pushed away from his computer and closed it. He didn't want to look at the blog anymore that night. Instead he crawled into bed and closed his eyes, his heart already broken having realized that he had never even had a shot.

For three days Arthur didn't go onto that website. He couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't bear to read how much Canada and America –no, Alfred and Matthew- loved each other. But on the weekend some masochistic urge overcame him and he trudged back to the computer and onto the site. Surely, he thought, this is the best way for me to understand Alfred without asking him. I recall Alfred said that they update it every two weeks or so after all.

And so Arthur decided to catch up on what he missed.

Entry 32

Canada and one of our followers brought this up recently but people have been saying we have a brother complex. Upon looking it up I think that it would be stronger than that, but you guys are right. And we researched more and discovered we don't just have a brother complex. Because of all of the torment we went through in the past, we both can't stand to be away from each other for long periods of time without starting to hyperventilate or have a break down (discovered that the hard way) so we have to keep in contact with each other by calling or whatever.

There's also my inability to speak. Because of my mamma's…rampages I often didn't speak and eventually it became a habit. I become so quiet at times that I just seem to blend into the background. People don't notice me. It's difficult for me because it happens naturally when I'm too quiet. It was a self-defense mechanism to hide from my mamma.

The reason why we brought this up was because half a year later or so during Christmas Break Canada and I were only thinking about seeing our friends again whenever we had just hung out with them and wanted to go back. Specifically two people. To our shock, we discovered that we had fallen out of love with each other.

It hurt. The discovery that such a thing could happen so naturally without our notice was terrifying. It was like the hand I was holding just slipped away without my notice even though we were right next to each other. All we could do was stare at each other. America wasn't my other half. He wasn't the love of my life. And that couldn't be possible in my mind. We had always been made for each other. And yet here we were standing as if looking at a stranger.

We both started to freak out and we clung to each other sobbing. This couldn't be happening. We couldn't fall out of love with each other. I could never replace Canada with someone else. It felt like we were desperately trying to shove two ceramic pieces back together that just broke the more we tried. Eventually –hours later- it completely shattered and we calmed down. We talked things out in quiet voices.

We still loved each other, we decided, but we also cared for someone else. We had crushes. If we had crushes, we figured, it meant we weren't completely in love with each other. America and I only loved each other but were not in love with each other anymore. We both accepted that.

And yet even typing it now still causes my heart to ache with longing.

Entry 33

After our acceptance of our situation –none of our complexes or issues were gone but we didn't kiss like we used to and we didn't do anything sexual anymore- we began to timidly explore these new feelings for other people. We felt like we had just stepped into a new world and out of the bubble Canada and I had created for just the two of us. We stepped carefully though and retreated back to each other in fear. It was actually kind of funny how we had acted, now that I think about it.

So the year passed and we moved into our sophomore year. Our small group of friends was really close now. We had fit in perfectly and we were often invited to hang out with them. America and I got separate jobs at a place other than the landlady's house. We were growing up. Things were maturing for us. We were maturing.

By this point in time Canada and I had come to terms with our feelings towards these people. Meeting so many others and seeing their relationships –honestly watching Japan and Moon in a successful heterosexual relationship restored our hope in humanity a bit- helped stimulate our own feelings. Canada and I, while not letting go of each other, wanted to reach out and bring someone else into our world. We wanted to be in relationship other than each other. And I had already fallen head-over-heels for my friend.

It took much longer for me to actually fall for Prussia. It was difficult with his attitude and oftentimes it occurred to me that maybe I just like him because of his similarities to America. So I began searching for the differences. And it was the differences that made me fall for Prussia.

The only question we had to deal with now was whether or not they liked us. It's a fear that rips our hearts. It was nothing like dating Canada. In this case if you confess and fail you may lose your friend. They could reject you. The bond was so less…trusting when it was with someone you know doesn't have to stay with you. Canada and I could never leave each other. It's as terrifying as it is a little thrilling. It was a challenge and I loved challenges.

Arthur was once again left staring at his screen. Canada and America didn't love each other in that way anymore. Alfred and Matthew were both in love with other people. Matthew loved Gilbert –lucky bastard- and Alfred…Alfred loved somebody else. But who? He never said. Arthur held out hope that it was him though. He called him a friend. He could rule out Kiku and Nicole since Alfred appeared to be completely homosexual. Arthur could still win him.

His hope thoroughly restored he closed his laptop and called up Kiku and asked him and Nicole to meet him in the park they often met in. He then left the house as the affirmation was given and he arrived first. He looked up at the couple as they approached his swing.

"What'cha call us out for?" Nicole asked, taking a swing next to him. Kiku leaned against the swing's pole next to Arthur.

"I've figured it out." Arthur stated, swinging lowly, not looking at them. The two of them waited for him to go on. "Alfred and Matthew are America and Canada. Respectively." Again they didn't respond but they were focusing on him heavily. Nicole opened her mouth to say something but stopped. Arthur understood she didn't want to give away any secrets she probably promised the twins she would keep. "You don't have to agree; I already know it's true. It's why you two wanted me to read the blog, is it not?"

"Have you finished it?" Kiku asked instead of answering.

"I've almost caught up." Kiku nodded.

"Your assumptions are correct…but I still believe you should let Alfred and Matthew tell you their secret for themselves." He said.

"Alfred already knows I read the blog. He didn't say anything." Kiku didn't respond.

"What do you think of them now that you know?" Nicole leaned forward to look into Arthur's eyes.

Arthur considered it a moment. "I…don't really agree with their relationship of loving each other in a physical way, but I can understand and accept why they did. I'm not so much disgusted as I am surprised because I would have never thought Alfred and Matthew would be like that…but that's all."

Kiku and Nicole nodded approvingly. "What will you do about it now?" Kiku asked.

"I'm…going to study this more and catch up with the blog. And then I will talk to Alfred and Matthew." Arthur stood. "Thank you for coming out here. Would you like to come back to my house?"

A/N: So yeah. Expect more story than entries in the upcoming chapters.

REVIEW~~Please?