Bella's Point Of View

I cant see anything. I can hear someone…no two someone's whispering, but I cant seem to open my eyes.

"Ed-" I try to say his name, but my mouth is dry. I feel cool hands hold mine down and fight against it, realizing what is happening. "N-" I try once more to speak, to say no but I cant. I cant open my eyes, I cant speak out against them. I cant do anything, but feel as a needle is jabbed into my arm. My clothes are removed. I buck against the hands holding me down, but it does no good when your fighting steel. I feel something cool wipe across my skin. I fight to open my eyes, to try and see what is happening. They open slightly, but everything is blurry.

"Shush, now. Everything is okay, Bella."

**!**!**

I wake with a gasp, the voice in my dreams ringing in my ears. No, not a dream. A nightmare. Can you call something a nightmare that is actually your reality? Aren't nightmares figments of your imagination, not reality?

I shake my head against the weird thoughts and grab my phone. One text, as there has been everyday for a week.

Good morning, beautiful. Hope you have a good day at work. Call me after. -Jake

I haven't seen Jacob since he stood in my kitchen last Friday and told me we could try and be friends. We text multiple times a day and talk on the phone at least once. So far he hasn't asked to see me and I haven't asked him. I don't want to push him. After what I put him through I cant expect him to just roll over and forgive me. I know it is going to take time to be the friends we once were.

I shook my head, getting out of bed. I quickly dressed in my scrubs and most comfortable pair of sneakers that I own. I brushed my hair out, threw it up in a ponytail and made my way downstairs. Just out of my door, I could already hear the news on downstairs and smell the too strong coffee dad always makes.

"Morning." I mumbled, dropping a kiss on his greying head as I passed him. Since I have been back the limits on mine and Charlie's relationship no longer exists. He easily hugs me bye as he walks out of the door. Drops a kiss on my head as he leaves the living room to go to bed at night. Says I love you at every goodbye on the phone or in person.

"Morning. Just got done cooking those eggs. Plenty left if you want some."

"Thanks." I put a couple pieces of bread in the toaster and made a cup of coffee. Sipping it, I grimaced at the bitter taste. "You know some people do like water with their coffee."

"Mmhmm and some don't." He mumbled, tipping his cup at me. I rolled my eyes, buttering my toast and plating up some eggs.

I sat beside him at the table and turned the small TV he has there toward me a bit more.

"Late shift tonight, I probably wont be home before you go to bed."

I nodded to him, chewing a mouthful of food. "Who called in?"

He rolled his eyes, rubbing at his mustache. "Richard."

"The one that has already used all his personal days, right?"

"Yup." He grunted. "He is on strike two, once more and he is out the door. I just don't know if I'm going to find someone to replace him."

"You'll find someone." I told him, patting his hand. "Try not to worry. You'll go grey."

He snorted. "I'm already grey. Until I can find someone I am going to be covering the shift." He rubbed at his eyes. "How is work going for you?"

"Good. I like it. All but one person that is. The girl we seen Jacob with…she doesn't seem to like me much."

"She seemed nice when I met her."

I shrugged. "She is just rude sometimes. She heard me on the phone with Jake once and I think it made her mad."

"Billy says she isn't his girlfriend."

"Eh. Even if she is his girlfriends, he is allowed to have girl friends. She doesn't seem to think so though."

"Girls will be girls."

"Hey, guys get jealous too. Its not just girls."

"Yeah, yeah. I gotta run or I am going to be late. Love ya, Bells."

"Love you too, dad." I mumbled. Since I still have about a hour, I sat back in my chair to watch the news before getting up to clean the kitchen. Once that was done I went upstairs to brush my teeth and toss on a light coat of make up. I grabbed my purse and locked up the house. Once in my car I realized I never sent Jake a text and done so before heading to the hospital.

Morning. I hope you have a good day as well. -Bella

**!**!**

"Good morning, Bella. Cutting it kind of close."

I glanced at my watch and rolled my eyes. "Morning Brittany. I'm 20 minutes early."

She grunted and walked away. I shook my head at her back. I really don't know what her problem with me is. I've always been kind to her and its not like I'm stealing Jacob from her. I rolled my eyes again, deciding not to let her take up my valuable thinking space. I clocked in and went the chart, seeing what rooms I had today. I work in the ICU of this small hospital. We never have more then four patients, so there is only Brittany and I to cover these patients from 8am to 5pm.

Currently we only have three patients. I smiled when I saw my name marked by two of them. Brittany being the head nurse, she generally gets less work then me. It doesn't really bug me though, I love my job. I quickly went to the back, put my stuff in a locker and replaced my personal cell phone with my work phone. I grabbed the medicine my patients needed and fresh water for them. I went to Mr. Walkers room first.

"Morning Mr. Walker. How are you today?"

He removed his oxygen mask and smiled at me. "Getting along just fine."

I smiled back and looked over to his wife. "And how are you?"

"Just fine. Glad to see you this morning. I'm not a fan of that Roselyn nurse."

I shook my head. Not many people are a fan of Roselyn. "Well, you know what I told you. Reporting her is the only way you'll get another nurse."

I went to the computer and scanned Mr. Walkers hospital bracelet then scanned in his medicine. I named off his medicine as I gave it to him, then filled his glass with fresh water.

"Can I get you two anything else?"

"Can I speak to you outside, Bella?"

"Of course Mrs. Walker." I patter Mr. Walker's hand. "Call if you need anything."

He nodded, with a smiled and I followed his wife to the hallway.

"His pain is getting worse." She told me the second the door swung closed.

I nodded. "I know its not what you want to hear, but people with end stage COPD the pain is common. I will put in a order for his pain medicine to be increased and let you know as soon as I hear from Dr. Mitch."

"Thank you, Bella."

"Have you thought anymore about taking him home?"

She shook her head quickly. "I know its hard to understand, but being here is more comfortable for him…"

She trailed off and I touched her shoulder. "I understand. I'm just worried about you. Insurance refuses to pay for the hospital stay anymore. How are you going to take care of the bills once –"

"I've got it handled."

I nodded. "Okay, I have to get my other patient their medicine. I'll be back shortly to check on you two and let you know about the pain medicine."

She nodded and went back to her husband's room. I shook my head and planned to make a call to billing as soon as I got a extra moment.

The rest of the day flew by in a mix of medicine, puke, blood, baths and one – Ms. Danes – extremely annoying patient. By the time I got my stuff and got to my car, I was extremely grateful that today is Friday and I'm off for three days. I dialed Jacobs number, put it on speaker phone and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Hello?" Jacob answered. I could hear loud rock music and the sound of tools banging against metal.

"Hey, still working?"

"Oh, hi. Yeah, I just have to finish this oil change then I'm done."

"You can give me a call back once you are done." I offered.

"No, no. There are speaker phones for a reason. So hey we have a bonfire every Friday, I thought maybe you'd like to come?"

"Really? I…sure."

"You don't have to."

"No, its just I haven't seen any of the guys or Leah in so long. They hated me before and I just don't want any extra drama today."

"It'll be cool, promise."

I chewed on my lip. "Okay, sure. I'll be there."

"Want me to pick you up?"

"No, I'll drive."

"Okay, be there at 8pm."

We talked a few more minutes about how our day went then hung up. Once I got home, I went straight to the shower to wash of a days worth of bodily fluids. Dressed in a pair of shorts and robe I went to couch and laid down. I flipped on the TV for background noise, but knew it would be only minutes before I dozed off.

**!**!**

I could feel the sharpness of a scalpel against my skin and shivered. "Please." I choked out, but they didn't listen. I could feel the scalpel easily slice into my soft skin and screamed. It didn't hurt. I couldn't feel anything, but I know what they are doing. "Ed-" My voice failed me again. I heard a loud crash. The hand that were holding me down left. I tried to push against the hand cutting me, but couldn't find strength to lift my hands.

"Stop! Get the hell away from her!"

I know that voice, but cant place it. Another crash sounded, this one much louder. It sounded like thunder. "Please." I whimpered, feeling the scalpel cut deeper into my skin.

"Fuck!" I awoke with a loud yell, finding myself on the floor instead of the couch. "Shit."

I wiped the sweat off my brow and huffed. Dream. Nightmare. Reality. Which is it? Its defiantly reality, but when you have a dream such as that is it still called a nightmare? I shook my head, realizing I'm repeating my thought process from this morning.

"Not thinking about it." I told myself, getting off the floor. I checked the time and realized if I don't get moving then I will be late. I dressed quickly in a pair of ripped jeans and a black tank top. I grabbed a light jacket from the closet and left the house. It didn't take me long to get to the beach. There wasn't many cars there, but I could see the pack down at the waters edge. I sighed, still worried how the pack will take to me being here. I got out of my car, leaving my purse and locking the door.

"You must be Bella."

I whipped around. "Um, yes."

The lady eyed. "I'm Amanda. Seth's imprint and Jacobs current best friend."

"Oh, nice to meet you."

"Jake isn't here yet."

"Oh, well I can-"

"Manda, be nice."

I looked behind Amanda and a smile graced my lips. I moved around her and gave Seth a hug. "Hi Seth. It is so good to see you. How are you?"

He lifted me off my feet, giving me a good squeeze. "I'm great. How are you?"

"I'm good." I told him, as he let my feet touch the ground. "I missed you."

"We missed you too."

I laughed. "All of you missed me? Even Paul and Leah?"

"Ah, well…"

I shrugged. "That's what I thought."

I heard Amanda clear her throat and turned toward her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be all up on your man. Just missed him."

"Its okay." She mumbled. "Lets get down there."

I nodded and followed after them. It looked like most the pack was already here. Jake and Leah being the only ones missing.

"Bella!" I barely saw Emily before I was being pulled into a warm hug.

"Hi Emily."

"You look good." She told me, pulling back from the hug.

"Thank you. You do as well. How are you?"

"Good. I'm good. Great even. How are you?"

Sam came up behind Emily, wrapping his arm around her waist. "Bella." He nodded toward me. I don't think he dislikes me exactly, but for whatever reason Sam has never been very welcoming toward me.

"Sam." I nodded back to him, then answered Emily. "I'm good, Em."

"Good. I'm glad. We all worried about you so much."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that."

"Hey vampire girl."

I rolled my eyes. If only he knew. "Hi Paul."

"Don't harass her, guys."

I let out a breath hearing Jacob's voice behind me and turned out. "Hey."

"Hey, sorry I got tied up at the shop."

"It's okay."

"We aren't harassing her, Jake. We are just talking." Paul smirked.

"Other then Paul being annoying, they aren't bugging me." I told Jake.

Jacob walked up beside me. "Good. Don't bug her." He told Paul.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Paul mumbled, he gave me a slightly awkward one armed hug. "Good to have you back." He whispered in my ear, then left running down toward the water. He picked up Racheal, throwing her over his shoulder on the way to the water. I could hear her yelling at him as he threatened to toss her in the cold water. I let out a small laugh when he held up her upside down, letting her hair touch the waves. Shaking my head, I turned back toward Jacob noting that Sam and Emily had walked away from us.

"Where is Charlie tonight? Dad said he invited him."

"Working. One of his guys keep calling in. Where is your dad? I'd like to see him."

"He turn in early tonight. Didn't feel good."

I raised my eyebrow. "Nothing serious, right?"

"Nah, just got a bad back. Want to go find a seat?"

I nodded and followed after him. "I met your current best friend." I told him once we were seated on a piece of hard wood by the fire.

Jake chuckled. "Sorry. She is rather protective."

"No, its sweet. I'm glad you have someone looking out for you."

"I don't need anyone to look after me. Something she cant quite grasp."

"Everyone needs someone to look after them."

He raised his eyebrow. "Maybe."

Emily called that the food was ready. Jacob offered to make us plates if I would grab drinks. I did so, meeting him back at our spot by the fire. While we was eating I was introduced to the people I didn't know. I knew before I left that the pack had gotten two new wolves but I never got a chance to meet them. Same with Claire, I knew Quil imprinted but never met her. The only one I didn't mean was David as him and Leah never showed up. Once the food was gone, parents of the pack, Sam and Emily headed out and Paul brought out the liquor.

"Never have I ever anyone?" Paul asked, waving a bottle of tequila around. Everyone groaned, but agreed.

"We don't have to. I normally leave once the drinking starts." Jacob whispered to me.

"You, little alpha are staying. So is your girl." Paul said loudly.

I laughed. "It's okay. We can stay."

Paul passed out filled shot glasses and sat down between me and Rachel. "Since I came up with the wonderful idea, I get to go first. Never have I ever slept with a vampire."

"Paul!" Jacob growled.

I glared at him and took my shot. I grabbed the bottle to refill my glass and shot Paul one last dirty look.

"Sorry, but I had to." He said, laughing.

"No, you didn't." Jake mumbled.

"Jake, its okay." I told him. "Never have I ever turned into a hairy animal…or any animal for that matter."

The guys all took their shot and refilled. Jacob smirked at Paul. "Never have I ever experimented with the same sex."

Rachel gasped when Paul took his shot. "Really Paul?"

He shrugged, smirked. "I like sex. Wanted to see if I was missing anything."

She shook her head. "Men."

"Never have I ever dropped out of school." Seth said. I looked on in surprise as all the guys sparing Seth, Brady and Collin took a shot.

"Really?" I asked Jacob. "Why?"

"Stayed too busy with wolf stuff. Dropped out and got my GED. The younger guys wanted to drop out too, but we worked extra shifts to keep them in school."

I nodded. "Oh."

"Okay, my turn." Amanda mumbled. "Never have I ever had sex with a dead guy."

I smirked at her and took my shot quickly.

"Amanda." Both Jacob and Seth said at the same time.

I laughed. "It's okay, I've had sex with a dead vampire. We got that out of the way now. Quil, your turn."

"Never have I ever had sex with more then one person." He said, grabbing onto Claire's hand. She smiled at him, not taking a shot.

I took mine and refilled my glass. Jake held out his glass for me to refill. "Can I ask?"

I chuckled. "Sure, but I wont tell you. Can I ask?"

"Only three people." He said. "You don't know them."

"Only two for me."

He nodded. "Wont tell me who?"

"Well, one obviously was Edward. The other was….Emmett."

He stared at me, eyes wide. "What does that family like swap spouses?"

I chuckled, shaking my head. "No."

Thankfully Claire called out it was her turn and I didn't have to answer anymore questions. We went three rounds before calling it a night.

"I'm going to drive you home. We'll take your car and I'll wolf it home." Jacob told me as I got my things together.

"No. Its fine, Jacob. I'm good to drive. Really not even tipsy."

He shook his head and grabbed my keys out of my hand. "Don't care if you don't think your tipsy. If you drive and get in a wreck I will feel awful."

We left after saying our goodbyes, with Jacob driving as he requested. I played with the radio until I found my favorite 80's rock station then laid back in my seat with my feet tucked under me.

"I had a good time tonight. Thank you for inviting me." I told him.

"I'm glad you came." He sighed. "I cant say that I've fully forgiven you, but we…I missed you. I really really missed you."

"You better correct that we." I laughed. "The guys couldn't have missed me much. They were nice, but I could feel the looks."

He grunted. "I wasn't referring to them when I said we."

"Oh, who is we then?"

"Uh, well me and my wolf."

I sat up, shocked. "Your wolf missed me? Your wolf has feelings?"

He laughed. "Yes, my wolf has feelings. Its almost like there is a second person in my head. It doesn't speak, but I cant feel what it feels."

"Huh."

Jacob laughed even hard. "Yeah."

"And here I thought I knew all your weird wolf stuff." I mumbled, leaning back again.

He winked. "Cant reveal all my secrets at once."

"I really really missed you too, you know."

He nodded, not looking at me. I sighed. There is a part of me that wishes I could take back all the hurt that I caused him, but I know I cant. No matter if he forgives me, no matter what I do that hurt will always be there. He will always remember how badly I`ve hurt him.

I lightly touched his shoulder. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "I'm sorry."

"Don't." He grunted. "I've gotta move past it if we are going to be friends and I'm working on that."

He pulled into my driveway. I nodded. "I know."

He got out of the car and I followed, meeting him at the hood. He handed me my keys. "I'll call you tomorrow?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Goodnight." He flashed me a smile, then took off toward the tree line. I stared at the direction that he went for a long moment before unlocking the door and going upstairs. I stripped off my pants, wiggled my bar off without taking off my tank top and laid in my bed. I pulled the blanket all the way up, wishing it was warmer as my eyes got heavy.

**!**!**

"Rose!" A voice yelled out. "Edward stop!"

"Please!" My voice wasn't as weak. "Please stop! Don't do this."

"We have to, Bella."

It doesn't hurt, but I could feel the pressure in my stomach. The pulling and tugging. I just wish I could open my eyes. Why cant I open my eyes? More crashing noises. A window broke, I think. I felt the sharpness of a needling sticking me in the arm again.

"Edward, its done!"

No! I wanted to scream, but my voice seemed to be lost again. Something is burning me. Something is burning my arm. More thunder like sounds. Someone or something is hissing or growling. Someone has picked me up. "It's okay, Bella. I'm going to get you out of here."

Air is whipping by, blowing my hair. I need to open my eyes. Someone is screaming. No, not someone. Me. I'm screaming.

"Bella! Bella wake up!"

I jumped up, looking around. Charlie`s standing next to my bed. "Oh fuck."

"Are you okay? The lady next door called, said it sounded like someone was being murder over here."

"I'm sorry, I…Nightmare. Really bad nightmare." Nightmare or reality? Reality I finally decided. When you have a dream of something that has happened to you it is not a nightmare, but your reality.