A/N: Well, it seems I've pleased my readers with this story :DD This motivates me very much. I dont own LotF, but it certainly owns me. I'd like to pause and take a moment to dedicate this story to my muse, Sheridan. I love you sweetie, and always will. You will always be the Ralph to my Jack, even if I epically fail at sharpening pencils with knives.

We went back to the beach together, fighting the urges to hold hands or tackle each other into the sand. I thought of my dreams, of how much I'd love to lay him down in the light of the sun. He was already so glowing, so golden.

The others were assembled there, doing what they did. I realized how very little I knew about them all. Even my own choir, who had been following me since forever. Piggy clutched at the conch when he saw me, like that stupid seashell could protect him against my spear. The look I gave him was deadly, but when I felt Ralph steal a glance at me, my expression became blank once again.

Roger was on his feet and at my side in seconds. I smiled a grim smile, begging him silently not to ask any questions or say anything too stupid. Ralph shifted nervously in the presence of the menacing boy. I noticed the rock Roger held in his hand, toying with its smooth surface. "Hi," he greeted me. I couldn't tell if he was trying to keep his voice empty or if that was just how he was.

I tried to satisfy him with a dismissive wave, still pushing on down the beach. I wanted nothing more than to revel in the feeling of Ralph at my side, before we were forced into our façade of dislike.

"Are you alright?" Roger pressed. "I thought we might go hunting in a while."

I turned on him with a fierce scowl, kicking up some sand in the process. "I'm fine, Roger," I sneered. "I'd like to take a swim, if it's alright with you. Do I need your permission? Would you like to guard over me so I don't drown?"

Some flicker of emotion broke through his apathetic mask. His bottom lip shook a little as the severity of my words cut him. I half-expected Ralph to step in, but the chief only stood by in an uncomfortable silence.

"Fuck off," Roger muttered, catching me off guard with his vile words. With his dark eyes transfixed on my own, Roger pulled back his hand and threw the rock, hard, just barely missing one of the littluns.

Ralph remained motionless as Roger sauntered off, long after I'd started towards the others again. He ran to catch up to me, grabbing roughly at my shoulder. I tried to shake him off, but his grip was too tight. He pushed down on the cuts left by Roger; I didn't know if he actually meant to hurt me or not. "You didn't need to be so vicious."

I stared at him impassively "Oh, he'll get over it. It's only Roger." Ralph didn't look very convinced, yet his grip softened and his gaze dropped to the ground.

"Sorry if I hurt you," he said, gentler and only for me to hear. "I just…I dunno. Maybe I just don't understand your relationship with him."

Relationship. That was definitely not a word I wanted associated with Roger. He was my friend, yes, and my loyal companion. But I'd never felt these shills when I was with him. I'd never wanted to feel him in my arms.

I decided my only option was to change the subject, get back in control of things. "Let's just go," I suggested, working hard to stay calm. "The others will get worried if you start hanging around with me."

Ralph raised his shoulders, as if to say he didn't care, but he was staring down the beach to where the group of boy was gathered. We started off, two shadows merging together in the light.

XXX

When the horizon had begun to swallow the sun, setting the ocean waves aglow, Ralph and Piggy took some of the littluns to the lagoon. "It'll be good for them," Ralph announced to the rest of us, though I was fairly sure he just needed some time alone to discuss things.

I watched them idly as they disappeared, an army of little kids trailing behind them. Then I was on my own again, because Roger hadn't ever come back, and Samneric were tending the fire. The rest of the hunter tried to get a laugh out of me by dancing around like we did; I barely acknowledged their existence.

They soon grew bored of attempting to make me smile, going off in all directions with their spears and war cries. Completely on my own at last, I lay down onto my back in the sand. It was warm and soothing, making it easy to close my eyes. I might have even fallen asleep, if not for the sudden sound of footsteps.

Groaning, I flipped onto my stomach, buried my head and hoped whoever it was wouldn't notice me.

To no prevail. A bit of sand landed onto my back and bare arms as the person dropped down next to me. "Hullo," came an overly cheerful voice. Couldn't he tell that this was a catastrophe? Couldn't he feel my need to be alone?

I peeked out at the face through my fingers, saw Simon smiling merrily. In his hands he held a little blue flower. Beautiful, in its way, just starting to open up. "Isn't it pretty?" He asked, noticing me stare at its petals. "I thought I'd give it to Ralph."

Of course he did. Everyone loved Ralph; he was practically the epitome of salvation. Never mind that I'd looked after Simon when he would faint on our choir trips. Never mind that at all.

A surge of anger rose up in me. I sat up much too fast, causing a wave of dizziness to descend upon me. Clutching at my head, I suppressed a moan of pain.

Simon frowned a little, watching me with much more intentness than someone his age should have possessed. "Here," he said quietly, passing me the little flower. "I want you to have it instead."

No matter how I tried to fight it off, a tiny smile spread over my lips. Since no one was around to see, I allowed myself to ruffle his hair.

"Jack," Simon said in his small, soft voice. I cocked my head, angling my body so as to better face him. "Do you think we'll ever go home?"

His words stung me deeply. We'd all worked hard to pretend this was some big adventure, a game we'd all win if we just listened to Ralph with his pretty shell. "I don't know," I told him honestly. "I don't know."

Simon's shoulders slumped a little. I twisted the flower around by its stem. "Well, then, do you suppose you could sing to me? Like you used to sing to us back home?"

I stared out at the sea for a long time, enchanted by the lulling of the waves. I knew I had to seem fearless and in control, because that was what everyone expected. But we were alone, this little boy and I. so I pulled his head down into my lap, stroked his hair gently, and sang the only lullaby I could really remember.