Aaron stood up slowly, his hand tracing the outline of Jackson's jaw as he did. He caught Jackson's eye for the briefest of moments, a low sob escaping his lips as he turned and walked away. He had to force his feet to move, will himself to leave so he could fall apart. He didn't want Jackson see him break, not again.

"Aaron..." Jackson was dumbfounded. This is not how he wanted things to happen. He thought about it day and night, imagined his last night on earth in such detail he could tell you about it in one breath, but Aaron had always been there. Aaron would lie beside him in the bed, hold him in his arms, tell him he loves him, kiss him goodbye and then he would drift off into an eternal sleep. It was wishful thinking, he knew that, but he hoped Aaron would come round.

That day when he tried to end things Aaron had said he would be there at the end, he believed him. Things weren't perfect, how could they be, be they were going forward. They had small pockets of happiness, moments where things seemed normal again. That all changed when he started talking about his research. It was the elephant in the room and they had done a fine job of ignoring it, but he couldn't go on any longer. Hazel and Aaron did their best to stall. He knew they needed that...more time with him, more time to change his mind. Nothing would. So he mentioned it and Aaron legged it. He stayed awake the entire night worrying. He heard Hazel pacing her room hours after she said she was going to bed, that made him worry even more.

When Aaron came home the next day Jackson was relieved, then angry. Aaron stammered through an apology, and he accepted it. Like a fool he convinced himself it was just a one off, Aaron would be fine. He didn't mention it again the rest of the night after noticing Aaron in a world of his own. He thought it best to leave it for now. When he mentioned it the next day he was surprised when Aaron left again. He wanted to believe everything was sorted between them, that when Aaron agreed to stay he would listen to him, talk about how he wanted things to go. He still wasn't ready, but Jackson decided it couldn't be put off any longer. The quicker it was done the better everything would be. Aaron could start moving on with his life, his mum could get back to her travelling, and he would be gone...no longer a burden to those around him. What could go wrong?

"Aaron please," Jackson pleaded. He had no idea what to say. Was Aaron saying goodbye to him or for himself? He couldn't tell. What if it was the latter? He couldn't cope with that. He couldn't imagine not seeing him ever again. What if he woke up tomorrow and he was gone? This is how Aaron had been feeling, is feeling. How did he live with the fear? Jackson had only been dealing with it for what, a few hours? It was suffocating.

"Hazel, of all the idiotic things to come out of your mouth, and believe me there have been plenty, you want me to believe this?" Jerry Walsh was standing opened mouthed in the front room of Dale Head. When Hazel had called earlier in a state he dropped everything and rushed over. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, what Hazel was saying was just...just ludicrous. He'd only just seen Jackson two days ago he seemed fine, a bit down but that was to be expected. How did he jump from slightly depressed to suicidal in a matter of days?

"He was fine not two days ago," Jerry added still trying to get his head round all this.

"He was putting on an act Jerry, has done for months. He isn't happy. I would have been none the wiser if it weren't..." Hazel stopped short of mentioning Aaron. Jerry has never been his biggest fan and telling him about Aaron's intrusion into Jackson's private videos wouldn't help matters.

"I was worried about him," She said changing direction, "so I watched his video diary. It was wrong I know, so don't go giving me a lecture. Jerry the things he said on there...it broke my heart to see him like that. He's given up. He didn't want you to know because he didn't think you would understand."

"Oh and you do?" Jerry snapped.

"Of course not! But I couldn't sit by and watch him suffer could I? Do you know what it's like for him? I don't, he's tried telling me but I had myself convinced that Aaron and I could change his mind."

"Aaron knows? How long?"

"What?"

"How long have you known he's felt this way?"

Hazel sighed. She knew he would ask, didn't mean she was ready to answer. She had to, she's already wasted too much time trying to help Jackson on her own, they had to get him help now.

"A while," She answered not able to look Jerry in the eye. She could feel him staring, waiting for an exact amount of time. "Since March," she relented.

"MARCH? And you're just telling me this?"

"Something happened, something that should have made Jackson see sense but it didn't. He needs help Jerry."

"What happened? Did he try something?"

"No, it wasn't him...it was Aaron."

"If he did anything to my boy I will kill him," Jerry raged as he made his way to the door.

"Jerry stop! He didn't do anything to Jackson! He...he..."

"WHAT?"

"He tried to kill himself!"

"What?" Jerry whispered, shock clearly taking over.

"Aaron, he tried...Jackson found him ready to jump from a bridge. He hasn't been coping with things. We didn't realise he was that bad off. I should have listened to him. I should have done something..."

Jerry stared at her in disbelief. He had never been able to accept Jackson's declaration that he was gay, was less than enthusiastic at meeting that 'chav' in the hospital, and still had issues with all of it. He could never accept that two men could love each other, and he never thought Aaron would be capable of loving anyone. He'd watched them over the last few months and could tell that they did love each other. He was especially shocked at how easily he could see the love Aaron had for Jackson. He could tell that he loved him with every fibre of his being. It was something he always wished for Jackson and now he had it. He still wasn't comfortable with it, but he was adjusting. And he was grateful...to Aaron for loving his Jackson unconditionally. But this...this he couldn't understand.

"Why?" That seemed to be the only thing that would come out, everything else was a jumbled mess in his brain that had no chance of making it out of his mouth.

"In Whitby Jackson was happy, really happy...then he sat us down and told us nothing had changed. It broke Aaron's heart. Then he," Hazel hesitated knowing full well Jerry would not take this well. "He ended up talking me round."

She was sobbing now, trying to work out the best way to say this. She was fooling herself, there was no easy way.

"I agreed...I agreed to help him." She was crying harder now. "I agreed to help our son die."

"You what?" Jerry was stunned to say the least. He couldn't have heard right.

"I couldn't bear to see him like that. So unhappy and broken, it was killing me."

"So you thought killing him would help?" Jerry started pacing around the lounge, trying to gain some sense of calm. How could he? Hazel just admitted to...he couldn't even think it.

Hazel winced at the word, he sounded like Aaron. It sounds great when you take the word KILL out of it, the sentence echoed in her head. She never thought of it like that, but they were right...she was going to kill him.

"He's not staying here. There is no way my son is going to be under the same roof as you for a minute longer!"

"Oh that's rich! He wasn't your son up until October if you recall. Took him nearly dying before you came round! Least I was there for him!"

"And how does being there for him turn to murder? Why would you even consider it? He should have been straight to a counsellor when you found out!"

"Don't you think I know that now? Don't you think I hate myself for what I was going to do?"

"Not as much as I hate you for it!" Jerry made for the door. Jackson was going straight to a counsellor or a therapist or...anywhere that could help. He didn't care. He could hate him, wouldn't be the first time, but he was not going to let him die.