Veronica rushed into the bathroom and heard loud, desperate sobs coming from the stall in the farthest corner. She raced to see what was happening. Luckily, the stall's lock was broken and Veronica easily opened the door. Lisbon was sitting on the floor, her back up against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest. Violent sobs racked her body.
"Oh honey, what's wrong?" Veronica Inquired. The emotional turmoil and darkness that plagued Lisbon's jubilance were visible in her distressed eyes.
She whispered the few words she feared she'd never be able to say. "I remember. I remember everything," she choked through a tsunami of tears, "and it's horrible."
24 hours earlier…
"It's Friday!" Sammy cheered as she barged through the house at promptly 3:35. She tossed down her backpack and plopped down in one of the brown chairs surrounding the kitchen table. The black fabric of Sammy's skirt spread around her white and pink polka-dot tights.
"Hey Sammy!" Lisbon said as she took a seat next to the girl.
"Hey Teresa!" Sammy grinned.
"So, was it worth it to finish the school week?"
Sammy nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I even went over to Chloe's house after school today and we played dress up!"
"Ready for dinner, girls?" Henry asked as he approached the table with a bowl of spaghetti and red sauce.
"Yep." Said Sammy.
"Do you need help with anything?" Lisbon asked, as she rose from her seat.
"No, I think we're okay." Veronica said as she brought over the last of the food.
The dinner conversation was light and drifted through topics easily. As the group was cleaning up Lisbon decided to ask, "Have you decided what you wanted to do this weekend, Sammy?"
"We're really going to go somewhere?"
"Yep, where ever you want?"
Sammy thought about it for a while. "Hmm… oooo could we go play laser tag?!"
"Of course! Henry, Veronica is that okay with you?"
"Sure! It sounds like fun." Said Veronica.
"How about tomorrow afternoon?" Suggested Henry.
The next day the group arrived at Laser 'n' Fun.
"Ready?" Lisbon asked Sammy as they approached the large building.
Sammy nodded vigorously, "Chloe went last week and she said it was so much fun!"
"That's great!"
The building's warm air welcomed the group.
"We'll go take care of the passes." Veronica told Lisbon.
"Okay." Sammy said and took Lisbon's hand. "We can go over there." The little brunette said as she pointed toward an arcade like area.
After a few rounds of air hockey, Veronica and Henry came over to gather the girls and get started with laser tag. Sammy and Lisbon were talking when the couple approached.
Lisbon's head snapped up as her ears caught the familiar name. She froze.
"Come on, Teresa. We're heading into the equipment room." A distant voice called.
"One moment." She mumbled back. Her attention fixated entirely on the newscaster.
"Local sheriff departments and the California Bureau of Investigation have just now confirmed that the body, is indeed the notorious and infamous serial killer, commonly known as Red John. Though, these agencies are not releasing much information at the time we do know that the body has been here for approximately two and a half weeks. The cause of death appears to have been three gun shots: one to the head and two to the chest. We'll report back to you as more information is discovered. Here is the scene of the crime…"
The screen changed to live footage of a road swarming with police officers and CBI agents.
Lisbon's head spun and memories began to resurface in scattered fragments. She closed her eyes and she was back…
She was chasing something…no, someone. Red John. But where was Jane? They'd been going after the serial killer that night. Jane had found him. Jane had caught Red John off guard. So why wasn't Jane here? She can feel the anxiety that coursed through her veins as she chased Red John. The adrenaline pushed her forward. Lisbon remembered closing in on him. Her hands quivered uncharacteristically as she lined up the shot. Lisbon shut her eyes and pulled the trigger, slipping back into an old habit from her rookie years.
"Are you alright, dear?" Veronica asked.
Lisbon furrowed her eyebrows and opened her eyes as Veronica's voice pulled the younger woman from her reverie.
Shaking her head Lisbon replied, "Oh um yeah… I'm fine."
Veronica shot Lisbon a concerned glance before leading her to the equipment room. Lisbon followed obediently. She couldn't quite shake the feeling that she was teetering over the edge of her memory. She was one spill away from tumbling over the edge; but maybe, that wouldn't be such a bad thing.
"Does everyone have their vests on?" Tony, the Laser 'n' Fun employee asked. A chorus of yeses and general terms of agreement followed.
"Okay. So, lastly, grab your laser gun and pull the trigger. Just double-check that it works and then you'll be ready."
Five minutes later Lisbon found herself in a dark room with a gun in her hands, people raced by, shouting and yelling. It was all too similar to many less-than-pleasurable real life experiences. It might have been the feeling of a trigger beneath her fingers or the sensation that people were trying to shoot her but suddenly Lisbon realized that she was falling off the cliff into the deep dark abyss of her lost memories.
It felt like a punch in the gut, she stumbled backward, grabbing at the air. The walls seemed to close in on her, sending Lisbon's mind into a spiraling, frenzy of pure panic. She slung her vest onto the ground and dropped the gun. Desperately attempting to flee as the world crashed down around her.
Lisbon tore through the course and scrambled out the door beneath a blinking "Exit" sign. She found herself in the girls' bathroom. When she closed her eyes she was back to that fearful night nearly two and a half weeks ago.
Lisbon sunk to the bathroom floor. Her breath hitched in her throat and she cried out, violently pounding the cool tiles with tightly clasped fists. Within seconds her hands throbbed painfully. Though, the pain could never, would never feel as awful as the pain in her heart. Lisbon longed for it to end. She, so badly, wanted it all to go away. If only the hurt would go away and this whole world would go away and he, too, would go away.
Jane.
If only Jane had gone away too. Maybe if he'd never even been there in the first place everything would be better.
It was his entire fault anyway. Lisbon thought angrily. It was that stupid obsession with Red John. Jane just couldn't let it go. And now there was this giant mess. She'd killed him. Red John was dead but so was Patrick Jane.
Her heart clenched tightly and she wondered how much longer she could simply keep breathing. Knowing what had happened was so much worse than she'd imagined.
Veronica rushed into the bathroom and heard loud, desperate sobs coming from the stall in the farthest corner. She raced to see what was happening. Luckily, the stall's lock was broken and Veronica easily opened the door. Lisbon was sitting on the floor, her back up against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest. Violent sobs racked her body.
"Oh honey, what's wrong?" Veronica Inquired. The emotional turmoil and darkness that plagued Lisbon's jubilance were visible in her distressed eyes.
She whispered the few words she feared she'd never be able to say. "I remember. I remember everything," she choked through a tsunami of tears, "and it's horrible."
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
"Oh god. I don't even know where to start. Ok well…"
She sat at her desk wishing her paperwork was finished so she could go home. The setting sun cast shadows across Lisbon's desk. So far, it had been a typical day. Outside her office, Van Pelt, Cho, and Rigsby, too, were deeply buried in mountains of paperwork. Growing tired of the monotone and dreary task, Lisbon rose from her seat and joined the team in the bullpen.
"Hey, Boss." The team greeted.
"Hey guys." Lisbon smiled, "enjoying paperwork?"
Van Pelt groaned and Rigsby complained, "It's so boring."
Cho scoffed, "not as boring as a T-Rex."
"Ya know what—" Rigsby began as he and Cho spiraled into a heated debate regarding dinosaurs.
Lisbon and Van Pelt rolled their eyes but neither could suppress the grins that crept across their faces. The light atmosphere was abruptly interrupted when heavy footsteps padded down the stairs.
A disheveled Jane appeared with a revenged look deep in his blue eyes.
"Lisbon, I need to speak with you." The lack of emotion in his voice was even more concerning than his frantic appearance. The air tensed.
"Okay. Let's go to my office." Lisbon responded.
Jane followed and adverted his eyes from the other agents' glances.
Lisbon closed the door behind him and looked up. Jane's eyes locked onto her's when he spoke.
"Lisbon, we need to leave now. I've got Red John."
"How do you know it isn't a trap?"
"I just know. Look, I don't have a lot of time. I am going to leave. Nothing you say or do can stop me."
"But Jane, you don't even—" Lisbon started, the hurt evident in her voice.
"I'm going." He declared.
"Then I'm going too." Lisbon insisted as she shrugged on her coat.
"Is this it?" Lisbon asked when she pulled over beside Jane on the side of a dark road. She stepped out of her car next to him.
"Almost, we can't drive any further, we'll have to walk." He whispered so softly that his partner could barely make out the words.
"Follow me." He uttered,
Lisbon nodded and hoped that Jane wouldn't do something either of them would regret. They silently crawled. After what felt like an eternity, Jane stopped moving. He gently pulled Lisbon behind a bush.
"See that building over there." Jane pointed to the dark outline of a in the blackness. "That's it. That's where we're going. Before we go I wanted to tell you that this is Red John and I will do anything to kill him."
Lisbon nodded, unable to trust her voice.
"And also, thank you, Teresa. I mean it. Thank you."
"It's what partners are for." She shrugged nonchalantly. Though, her emerald eyes told a different story.
Jane waved his hand signaling that it was time to go. The pair crept down the street. Silence settled over the sleepy road like snow on a rooftop. The agent and consultant's footsteps and quickened breath were the only disturbances in the eerily calm outside of the house or what once was one.
Carefully, they entered the building through a dilapidated door. Both Lisbon and Jane drew their guns and trampled over the messy floors. Graffiti saturated the walls. The only source of light was a dim glimmer from the crescent moon sitting in the sky.
A thick rigidity hung in the cool, night air. The floorboards creaked and every shuffle sent terror through the small agent's body. Never before had she been so nervous about catching a criminal. But this criminal was Red John. The serial killer who'd murdered Jane's family, had Lisbon shot, and forced Van Pelt to pull the trigger on her fiancé. This was a man who'd tormented them for years.
Lisbon though of all the people Red John had killed, all the families he'd torn apart. A vengeance so powerful it frightened Lisbon racked her body as she made a silent vow to herself and everyone Red John had ever hurt. Tonight, Red John would take his final breath.
The house was rather large and Lisbon immediately regretted their lack of planning. Red John could be anywhere. Behind Lisbon was Jane, who was equally worried and equally unwilling to admit it.
As Jane followed Lisbon his pant leg caught on something in the floor. He tugged at it, desperately attempting to free his limb.
Giving up, he called quietly to Lisbon. "Lisbon, I'm stuck."
She shushed him and bent down to help. Running her thin fingers along the wooden floorboards she located where the threads had been trapped. At first, Lisbon thought her mind was playing tricks on her but as she peered closer, the agent noticed that a faint light was seeping through the cracks. Lisbon tediously slid her fingers around the edges of the board, lifting it up.
Jane gratefully moved his leg and turned around to investigate Lisbon's discovery. The petite woman's heart pounded in her chest. She wiped away the sweat that formed at her brow, despite the chilly air.
As she said a silent prayer, Lisbon and Jane began pulling out a large quantity of boards as softly as they could. Finally, after a few dreadfully long minutes a staircase was revealed. Her eyes met Jane's and he nodded. The reassurance was all she needed. Knowing something monumental was about to occur, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, sucking cold air into her lungs, reminding her that she was alive.
The fearless CBI agent lowered herself onto the first platform. The consultant followed. As she descended the stairs Lisbon noticed a foreign shadow. She clutched her gun tighter and hoped that everything would be okay. The dark figure made a sudden movement. There was some scuffling then, the light went out…
The muscles in Lisbon's body became stiff. Her stomach flip-flopped and she held her breath.
"It appears that I have visitors…" A sickening voice sneered, not letting on its shock.
"Stop playing games." Jane demanded. "We know who you are."
"You may know who I am but do you know where I am?" The voice toyed.
The agent and consultant made their way down the stairs.
"If only I could get the lights." Lisbon's mind raced and she inwardly cursed herself for not bringing a flashlight. Her fingers brushed a chain. Instincts told the agent that it was connected to the light. She took a chance and yanked the metal.
Dank, yellow light filled the room. The seconds inched by as Lisbon took her aim. Then, just as her fingers grazed the trigger, the room went dark again. She heard a gunshot and a bullet barreled passed Lisbon. She could feel the wind whip at her face as the bullet tore by.
Jane's footsteps pounded by her and up the stairs. They'd agreed earlier that if necessary, Jane would block the exit. Therefore, Jane was likely to be the one who killed Red John. Lisbon felt around in the dark for the light, hoping to relocate Red John. A clang in the corner revealed the target's position in a matter of seconds Lisbon had fired her gun. A sigh of relief escaped her lips.
That was it.
He was gone.
But then… a voice croaked.
"Lisbon."
Every cell in her body screamed "no" as she collapsed beside him, falling to her knees. The frightened pang in his voice told Lisbon all she needed to know.
"Oh my god. Oh my god." She repeated breathlessly.
"Jane, I thought… you were… I didn't mean to…oh my god… Jane...I'm so sorry." Lisbon choked out, guilt paralyzed her body.
The moon provided just enough light to make out his weakening form.
"Lisbon, listen to me. It's okay. I need you to go kill him. We're so close, it's now or never."
"But Jane, I shot you in the chest."
"I'll be fine. Just trust me, go kill him and then leave. Drive away as far as you can."
"I can't leave you here alone. You'll—you'll die!"
He hushed her. "I know people who will help me. I'll survive. I promise."
"Okay, okay." Lisbon agreed, only for Jane. Only because she was going to kill the monster who started all of this.
"Go get him. Then get away. You'll know when to come back."
Lisbon nodded tearfully as she turned away.
"Teresa?" He asked quietly.
"Mmhhmmm." She answered.
"One more thing… no matter what happens, however this nightmare ends, I need you to know. I love you."
Lisbon blinked away her tears and swallowed the lump in her throat.
"I love you too." She uttered the sacred words, her voice barely above a whisper.
Lisbon leaned over and squeezed his hand a final time before walking away. As she bounded up the stairs Lisbon heard Jane whisper good luck. Nervous anticipation electrified her body. The brunette's mind was in too much shock to comprehend what she was doing. It felt as if her body was following commands from elsewhere. Her limbs acted before she told them to. The frigid air outside the cabin slapped her like ice-cold water. The agent caught a glimpse of Red John's figure entering the forest. Lisbon took off sprinting toward him. Her boots pounded down on the pavement. Knowing that the killer had a lead only fueled Lisbon to push harder.
Lisbon decided to cut through the woods diagonally on a worn out trail in hopes that she would cut him off. Her lungs burned and her legs ached as she raced after the criminal. Periodically, Lisbon looked over to make sure that she was keeping pace. They went on like this for over a mile.
When Red John's pace began slowing down, Lisbon's younger, more agile body allowed her to accelerate. She quickly gained on him. Finally, Lisbon's path met with her target's.
Stealthily, she slipped in behind him, like a lion stalking its prey. Lisbon waited patiently and focused on steadying her breath. When Red John slowed from a jog to a walk she did too. It was vital that Red John remained unaware of Lisbon's presence. Every inch of her body shivered and she had to bite down to keep her teeth from chattering in the icy weather.
When Red John stopped to rest, Lisbon knew it was time. She emerged from a group of bushes. Before the killer could reach for his gun Lisbon had pulled her trigger. Three times and he was out. When Lisbon's fingers drew the metal she felt nothing: no fear, no regret, no relief, only numbness and a strange sensation that life was changing. But as the light slipped out of his eyes Lisbon didn't see a killer, she saw a person.
Without recollection of how, Lisbon found herself back at the car. The sight of Jane's Citroen caused the distressed agent to scream and hit the door of her own SUV. She couldn't bring herself to get in. Lisbon needed to go back to Jane; she needed to know that he was okay.
She needed to get out of this nightmare.
But you can't wake up from reality.
In her traumatized state, Lisbon couldn't remember which house they were in. She couldn't do it. As the adrenaline wore off so didn't her numbness and she suddenly felt everything. It hurt so badly.
Standing alone in the frigid weather she was forced to let go.
Lisbon slammed the door closed and blatantly ignored her seat belt. If a car hit her she'd probably say thank you. Physically, the agent was in the vehicle but her mind was elsewhere, the image of Jane's bloody chest stuck in her head. Suddenly all she could hear was Jane's voice urging her to get away after she's killed Red John, and Lisbon knew that she had to.
Lisbon ended up in the CBI parking lot. She didn't have the nerve to face whoever she might have met in the elevator so instead she climbed the stairs. The hour was late and the office was nearly empty. It was all a blur of shoving a few items into a bag and a certain red-headed agent trying to comfort Lisbon.
But Van Pelt didn't know. She didn't know what happened, what Lisbon did and the brunette was terrified that the younger agent would hate her if she knew.
So Lisbon left, for what felt like the millionth time that day.
If only she had known it would turn out this way, she could've changed it. But instead she was driving down an interstate in the dead of the night with a few possessions in a mostly empty trunk. Cars were scare on the road at that time of night or early morning, she didn't really know nor did she care. The darkness enveloped her surroundings; the streetlights seemed to be the only things reminding her that she was still on Earth, that this was all real. The stillness of the world was both comforting and unnerving as she drove along. The crackle of the static radio and the soft hum of her car provided the only noises.
Lisbon's mind drifted and sure enough it stumbled upon the very topic she was running from. She can't believe that Jane is gone, that she shot him. Realistically, Lisbon knows that there is no way Jane survived and it kills her.
As she drove on through the darkened hours of the early morning her mind played with reminiscent, twisting the events, rearranging them, trying to make sense of it all. Attempting to differentiate between reality and nightmare, but they both seemed the same. Cities blended together and the time went with them. The tears would gather in her eyes, blurring her vision and pooling up until they spilled over. Furiously she would wipe them away. Her hands trembled and she cried until there were no more tears left to cry.
She didn't think.
She just drove,
and drove,
and drove,
away.
A/N: That's it! The Long Road Home is now completed. I really hope you all enjoyed it. I had a fantastic time writing it... let me know what you think.