SW: This is 'A Princesses Journey', coming to you from-

Sora: An airing cupboard.

SW: Look, Sephiroth was hyper, there was a lot of debris, screaming, fire and did you want to die?

Sora: ...Not really.

SW: Sorted. Now, onwards and upwards!

"Ow…" Riku's eyes blearily peeled open. "Head hurts… Head REALLY hurts…" He paused. "Where am I? Oh crap. The Castle that Never Was. I thought that it was destroyed-" Riku paused. "Wow. I'm talking to myself again."

"Not true." Riku turned his pounding head to face Maleficent.

"My worst nightmare come true… Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay."

"I do not understand why you despise me." Maleficent smiled. "After all, I gave you everything you wanted… Power, control, the chance to travel like you wanted to… Doesn't even a little part of you want to go back to that?"

"Honestly and truly-- no." Riku shook his head hard. "I'm happier now. I'm still friends with Sora and Kairi-"

"But will they still want to be friends with you," Maleficent chuckled. "After what is about to happen?"

"I will kill Cloud Strife!" Leon cursed, pacing back and forwards. "He can't pee by himself, and he still manages to cause trouble!"

"I know." Yuffie nodded solemnly, before bursting into a grin. "He's got skills!"

"Yuffie, that is not helpful in any way, shape, or form!" Leon snapped.

"And yet – it is so true." She nodded wisely.

"Leon, just relax, okay?" Tifa said, shoving her head into the room. "The more you worry, the sooner your hair will turn grey!" There was a long silence. "I'm not helping!"

"Are we there yet?"

"How am I supposed to know? You're the one who's driving!" Kairi sighed, glancing out at space.

"Yeesh. You're supposed to be the lookout."

"I am looking out, and I see nothing."

"Well that was all you had to say." Akira shrugged. Kairi noticed something.

"What's that on your hand?"

"Was I drawing on it in my sleep?" Akira glanced down at her hand. "Oh. It's a scar."

"It's a massive scar!"

"Jeez. Thanks. That makes me feel so happy, right here!" Akira placed her hand on her heart dramatically.

"I meant, how did you get it."

"A fight. I gave the other bloke one like it on his hand." Akira smiled grimly. "He got PRETTY annoyed about it."

"Wait." Kairi squinted. "I think I can see something. But it could just be a green gummi ship."

"Has it occurred to you that we are travelling through space with guess work?"

"Yup."

"Scares you a little too?"

"Yup." Kairi tried to focus. "I think it is a world."

"I hope it is a world. Landing on a gummi ship would be highly embarrassing. But funny."

"And dangerous."

"And funny. Funnerous." Kairi stared at her. "I'll land the ship."

"Wait," Kairi paused. "Can you hear singing?"

Robin Hood and Little John
Walkin' through the forest
Laughin' back and forth at what the
Other'ne has to say
Reminiscin' this 'n that 'n havin'
Such a good time
Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly
What a day!

Never ever thinkin' there was
Danger in the water
They were drinkin', they just
Guzzled it down
Never dreamin' that a schemin'
Sheriff and his posse
Was a watchin' them and
Gatherin' around

Robin Hood and Little John
Runnin' through the forest
Jumpin' fences, dodgin' trees
And tryin' to get away
Contemplatin' nothin' but escape
And fin'ly makin' it
Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly
What a day!
Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally, golly
What a day!

"You know what Robin," Little John said, extracting one of the Sheriffs arrows from his shirt. "You're takin' too many chances."

"Chances!" Robin Hood scoffed. "You must be joking! That was just a bit of a lark Little John."

"Yeah? Take a look at your hat." Robin pulled his hat off his head to see an arrow had also impaled it, leaving a hole. "That ain't exactly a candle on a cake!"

"Hello, this one almost had my name on it." Robin pulled out the arrow, and replaced his hat on his head. "They're getting better though. You've got to admit it. They are getting better."

"Yeah, next time that Sheriff will probably have a rope around our necks!" Little John mimed choking. "UGH! Pretty hard to laugh hanging there Rob."

"Hah," Robin balanced the arrow on his finger. "The Sheriff and his entire posse couldn't lift you off the ground. En Garde!" He threw the arrow at Little John, impaling his hat.

"Hey, watch it Rob, that's the only hat I've got!"

"Oh, come along. You worry to much old boy." Robin Hood sighed, slipping down against one of the big branches of the tree.

"Y'know Rob I've been thinking: Are we good guys or bad guys?" Little John scratched his back with the arrow. "You know, I mean, our robbing the rich to feed the poor."

"Rob?" Robin straightened up instantly, clicking his tongue in disapproval. "That's a naughty word! We never rob! We simply…" Robin sank back down. "Simply borrow a bit from those who can afford it."

"Borrow?" Little John snorted. "Boy are we in debt."

PAR PAR PAR PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!

The fox's ear pricked up. He clambered upright, leapt up onto Little John's head, and climbed up to the top of the tree, followed by the bear.

A procession marched along the only road into Nottingham, elephants and crocodiles playing trumpets.

"Oh ho ho!" Robin robbed his hands happily. "Sounds like another collection day for the poor, eh Johnny boy?"

"Yeah." Little John removed his hat. "Sweet charity!"

"Taxes! Taxes!" Prince John threw some more money up into the air. "Beautiful. Lovely, taxes! Aha! Aha!"

"Sire," Hissed… Sir Hiss. (Extremely bad pun NOT intended) "You have an absolute skill for encouraging contributions from the poor."

"To coin a phrase dear counsellor, rob the poor to feed the rich. Am I right?" The Prince and Sir Hiss laughed. "Tell me what is the next stop, Sir Hiss?"

"Let me see…" Hiss slithered over to a map pinned up on the wall of the coach. "Ooh, the next stop is Nottingham, Sire."

"Oh!" Prince John picked up his crown. "The richest plum of them all! Notting - Ahahaha – Ham." He placed the crown on his head, which was too big. It slipped down across his face.

"A perfect fit sire! Most becoming! You look regal, dignified, sincere, masterful, noble, chiv-"

"Uh uh!" He removed the crown from his head. "Don't overdo it Hiss." He flattened his ears, and balanced the crown on them. "There. That, I believe, does it. This crown gives me a feeling of power!" Hiss nodded eagerly. "POWER! Forgive me a cruel chuckle. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Power, hmmm…"

"And how well King Richard's crown sits on your noble brow."

"Doesn't it?" The lion's face suddenly soured. "KING Richard?" He grabbed the stuttering Hiss around the throat. "I've TOLD you never to mention my brother's name!" He dropped Hiss onto the floor.

"A slip of the forked tongue, Your Majesty." Hiss stuttered, chuckling weakly. "We're in this plot together, if you don't mind my saying so, and remember it was your idea I hypnotised him and-"

"I know. And sent him off on that crazy crusade!" Prince John and Hiss laughed happily.

"Much to the sorrow of the Queen Mother?"

"Yes!" Prince John sobbed. "Mother! Mother always did like Richard best…" He moped, before sucking this thumb.

"Your Highness, please, don't do that."

Suck suck suck.

"If you don't mind my saying so, you see, you have a very loud thumb." Hiss tried to explain.

Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck.

"Hypnotism can rid you of your psychosis s-s-s-s-s-s-s-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o eeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaasssssssssiiiiiiiiiiiillllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy…" Hiss tried his best to hypnotise Prince John to stop sucking his thumb. It worked for a few seconds.

"No!" Prince John yelled, coming to his senses. "None of that! None of that!"

"Well, I was only trying to help."

"Hmph! I wonder. Silly Serpent."

"Silly Serpent?" Hiss repeated.

"Look, one more, one more, Hiss out of you, …uhhh… Hiss, and you will be WALKING to Nottingham."

"Snakes don't walk, they slither." Hiss grumbled to himself, slithering over to his basket. "Hmph! So there!"

"No wonder it looked like a green gummi ship!" Akira grinned. "It's a forest!"

"A massive one." Kairi commented. "How are we supposed to find anyone in this forest?"

PAR PARP PAR PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRR!!!!!!!!

"I stand corrected." Kairi said, as the duo raced towards the sound of the bugle.

"Oo-de-lally! Oo-de-lally! Fortune tellers!"

"Fortunes forecast, lucky charms!"

"Akira?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is there a fox and a bear dressed up in drag?" Kairi asked, ducking behind a bush.

"……I really do not know. And I have this feeling I don't want to know."

"Oh Poppycock! Female bandits what next? Rubbish!" The Lion with a crown on his head said.

"That is so sexist! Women can commit crime just as well as men!" Akira hissed. "I'm going to give that git a piece of my mind!"

"No!" Kairi grabbed her arms. "Have you not seen the guards with the massive axes?"

"Huh? Oh, nope, my eyes immediately went to the blokes in drag. Didn't yours?"

"Yeah, but THEN they went to the guards with the massive axes."

"Oh. That makes sense." Akira agreed. "Wait! The bear in drag is taking off the hub-caps!"

"Why is he doing that?"

"Who knows?" The bear walked over to the chest that the guard were carrying. He looked at it, pulled out a sword, and made a hole in it. He pulled out the front of his dress, and caught the money in it.

"They're robbing the procession!" Kairi gasped. "Right under the guards noses! Why haven't they noticed?"

"One of them has… The bear winked at him… And the Rhino wolf-whistled."

"…Ew." Kairi said, ducking down slightly.

The fox ran out of the coach, with a red robe, and holding several bags of gold. He raced towards the bear, who raced towards him. They crashed into each other, and gold was scattered everywhere. The two looked at each other, before scooping up the gold. At that point, the bloke with a crown on his head, now without clothes looked out of the curtains. The bear and the fox ran for it, laughing and waving goodbye to him.

"Robbed! I've been robbed!" He yelled, pumping his arms in the air. "HISS! You're never around when I need you!" A snake appeared next to the lion. "I've been robbed."

"Of COURSE you've been robbed!" The snake snapped, causing Kairi and Akira to snigger.

"Oo-da-lally! Oo-da-lally!" The fox yelled over his shoulder.

"Fortunes forecast! Lucky charms!" Yelled the bear, waving to the rhino.

"After them you fools!" Screamed the Lion, as the Rhino's very very very very very slowly worked out what was going on (At last) and charged.

However, none of them had worked out that the hub-caps had been stolen.

Now, hub-caps are very important. They keep the wheels on.

So without them, the wheel's flew off the coach, sending the lion and the snake sprawling into the mud, and then trampled by rhino's who do not look where they are going.

"I knew it." The snake hissed, grabbing his hat on putting it back on his head. "I just knew this would happen! I tried to warn you but you just wouldn't listen-" He broke off as he saw the lion grab a hand mirror and lift it up. "Ah! Ah! Seven years bad-"

SMASH!!

"-Luck. That's what it is." He muttered weakly. "Besides, you've broken your mother's mirror."

"AAAAAAAAAH! MUMMY!!!" The lion burst into tears, and sucked his thumb. "I've got a dirty thumb."

"He seems mature." Kairi muttered. "So, who should we follow? The lion, or the fox and bear in drag?"

"The fox and bear in drag seem more interesting." Akira muttered. "And they're not screaming 'MUMMY'!"

"But he could do with some help-"

"Kairi, are you a phyciatrist?"

"No, but-"

"I am also not a phyciatrist. So. We cannot help him." Akira stood up. "Leg's gone to sleep. Let's move."

"Can't we at least help him stand up?" Kairi protested.

"YOU can. I won't." She walked into the woods. "C'mon!"

"No, I'm going to help him up."

"Okay then. See you later." And with that, Akira walked into the forest. Kairi rolled her eyes and walked over to the lion.

"Can I help you up?" She asked, politely you understand.

"No! Do not touch the Royal Hand! You're trying to steal my gold!" The Royal Lion snapped, still sucking on his thumb. "I will get the guards!"

"Okay then." Kairi turned, and headed back into the forest. "People just can't be nice anymore."

"Warned you!" Akira chimed from behind a tree. "C'mon! Cross dressers are dead ahead!"

"Who said the cross dressers are going to be nice?"

"Hm…" Akira scratched her chin thoughtfully. "That makes sense! Nice job!" And with that, she walked on.

……It's scary how many nutters you know.

"There has to be," Sora explained, hitting one of the stone walls with his fist. "Another way out of here. Because," Sora kicked the wall. "There is no way that woman dragged Riku and I in here through a dark portal."

What makes you think that?

"Because she's not nice enough." Sora kicked the wall again.

Maybe she had help.

"You suck at reassuring people." Sora frowned. "I've got an idea!"

Not another one!

"This can't just be a brick room floating around in space, right?"

Probably not.

"Exactly. There has to be somewhere behind this wall." Sora grinned. "So we break it down!"

…………How?

"……………………Uh…………………………… That is an excellent question." Sora paused to think. "Oh! You know 'A Series of Unfortunate Events'?"

That sums up our situation quite well.

"Well, there's one part when they're locked in a cell, just like we are!"

Uh-huh.

"What they did, was they wore down the cement with water! We could do that!"

I remember that. However, there is no water, no ramp, and no sponge.

"I could cast Blizzaga and then melt it with Firaga. I can do that as many times as needed, and then I can use my keyblade as a ramp." Sora summoned his keyblade.

Sounds mad.

"Have you got a better idea?"

Sadly, no.

"Then I better get started."

"Where's your hat?"

"Hat? Oh, yes I gave it to Skippy. It's his birthday today."

"Oh, I see!"

Kairi and Akira looked wildly left to right, dodging water gushing down from the waterfall.

"Where are they?" Akira muttered. "Is there such a thing as invisibility spell?"

"You don't think…" Kairi ducked behind the waterfall. "Look! There's a gap in the rock!"

"Oh, crafty." Akira followed Kairi. "Whoa! Slippery back here!"

"I know. That's because it's a waterfall."

"Yeah, still- wak!" Akira grabbed hold of a nearby rock to stop herself from falling over again. "Don't expect it to be that slippery." Kairi rolled her eyes (she had a feeling this was going to be a typical response to Akira) and slid through the gap in the rock.

"Are you coming?"

"Look, Kairi, balancing on a slippery rock was never one of my strong points, trust me." Akira slid through the gap in the rock. "Is it one of yours?"

"I'm good at gymnastics if that's what you mean."

The duo slipped out of the gap into a small opening in the woods.

"La, da, di, da, da, da, di, da, dum, Da, da, hm, hm, hm, hm." The fox, now thankfully back into normal clothes, was stirring a pot of some sort of soup.

"Lover boy." Muttered the bear, hanging up some clothes. Kairi and Akira sneaked up to the washing line. "How's that grub comi- WAK!!!" The bear bellowed, seeing Akira and Kairi for the first time. The fox snapped out of his thoughts.

"Hola!" Akira said, after a silence.

"We're sorry to interrupt, but we saw you robbing the coach earlier, and we were wondering why you were doing that." Kairi smiled. "I'm Kairi, and this is my… acquaintance, Akira."

"Bonjour Mounsier- Kairi, what's French for fox? And bear, when it comes to that?"

"I don't know, I took Spanish in school." Kairi hissed.

"I am Robin Hood." Robin Hood bowed. "And this is my dear friend, Little John."

Very charming for a cross-dressing, robbing fox. Naminé muttered.

"And we never rob." Robin Hood shook his head. "We just borrow bits from those who can afford it."

"So, rob?"

"The rich!" Little John interjected. "We rob the rich to feed the poor!"

"Oh, that's not so bad!" Kairi scratched her chin. "Pretty good actually."

"Who's Skippy?"

"A child in Nottingham."

"What's Nottingham?"

"………" Robin Hood and Little John exchanged a glance. "You're from out of England, yes?" Robin Hood inquired. "France maybe? Or Spain?"

"France." Akira said with a firm nod. "Well, I am. Kairi is from Spain. Very sunny there. Tell me Kairi, why does the rain in Spain fall mainly on the plain?"

"…Anyway," Kairi beamed at Little John and Robin Hood. "Has anything strange happened here lately?"

"Well, Prince John is visiting, but that isn't very unusual."

"Speaking of which," A Badger wearing a monks habit. "I've come here to tell you something!"

"Kairi, Akira, this is our friend, Friar Tuck."

"Bonjour." Akira said complacently.

"Nice to meet you." Friar Tuck turned to Robin Hood. "There's going to be a big to-do in Nottingham! Old Prince John is having an archery tournament tomorrow."

"Archery tournament?" Little John laughed. "Why, ol' Rob could win that standing on his head!"

"Thank you Little John." Robin Hood gave a small bow. "But I'm sure we're not invited."

"No, but there's someone who will be very disappointed if you don't come."

"Yeah, old bushel britches, the honourable Sherriff of Nottingham."

"No. Maid Marion."

"Maid Marion?" Robin Hood eye's lit up.

"Yeah, she's going to give a kiss to the winner." Friar Tuck laughed.

"Kiss to the winner?" Robin Hood did several cartwheels. "Oo-de-lally! Come on Johnny, what are we waiting for?!"

"Hang on a sec Rob, that place will be crawling with soldiers!"

"Ah, but remember," Robin grabbed a bow and arrows, leaping onto a tree. "Faint heart never won fair lady."

I think him and Sora met!

"Fear not my friends!" Robin fired an arrow. "This will be my greatest performance!" The arrow rebounded off many objects, and pierced Robin's hat that he had thrown into the air.

"We'll help!" Kairi volunteered.

"Ah! Noble hearts indeed!" Robin smiled. "Come, we must plan!"

"Yes, but before you do that, there's something very important you should know." Akira smiled.

"Which is?"

"Your food is on fire."

Cloud: Leon hates me?

SW: Calm down drama king!

Cloud: He HATES me?!

SW: I say I hate people all the time, I never mean it, now shut up before Sephiroth finds us!

Yuffie: Shhuusshh!

SW: (Whispering) Thank you for the reviews! This story is so much fun to write, and I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy you like it too!

Kairi: SunflowerWielder does not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Robin Hood, or Disney. Akira is the only thing she owns.

SW: By the way, there is a piece of information in this chapter that is important later on in the story. See if you can work out what it is-

Sephiroth: (Burns down the airing cupboard door) BOOYAKA!!!!!!

Everyone: (Except Cloud, who is still filming this) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!