CHAPTER VII

*******

I was tired, and I felt dizzy and sick as I fell back onto the warm bed. I was dressed but I didn't want to leave. I'd been up all night, thinking… thinking too much obviously.

My mum had started yelling at me. Better get out before she comes here and kicks me out. I shouldered my beach bag and grabbed the two milkshakes my mum handed me before sprinting out the front door.

******

My truck pulled into her driveway. I heard Liza roar, "HURRY UP KAYLIE, HE'S ALREADY HERE!"

She dashed out then. Her hair was all wet and in curls – she had a beach bag slung over one shoulder, and two milkshakes in her hands. I leaned over in the cab and opened the passenger door.

"Morning, Clearwater," she said brightly, shoving the larger of the milkshakes towards me. I took it and drained it in one go before restarting the truck and driving down the main road that would lead us to the Pack's Beach.

The 'Pack's Beach' was a nickname for Third Beach of the La Push Rez. First Beach was where all the tourists and parties from Forks were held; Second Beach was where all the La Push residents went; and Third Beach was where the werewolf pack hung out. Most residents tended to steer clear of that area, not that there was much there anyway – there was a small section of beach bordered by a huge expansion of forest, and the cliffs where we went cliff-diving.

Since it was one of the very, very, very few sunny days of the year, Emily had rounded up all the pack to come down to the Beach. We'd start off after lunch – she'd bring food, and at nightfall we'd have the bonfire.

It was more or less a party.

And, of course, Emily had insisted that I bring Kaylie.

And Kaylie, when she'd heard, insisted that she'd come.

We pulled up into the car park of First Beach and walked down onto the sand. I was wearing shorts and a shirt out of respect to Kay, but I didn't have any shoes on – Kay was wearing another one of her summer dresses, lime green this time.

As always, she looked beautiful in it.

We were walking along, hands linked, and she was talking about all the gossip I had missed at school. I'm not sure why I asked it, but I did.

"Kay, why did you kiss me last week?"

To my surprise, she blushed. I think she was blushing, it was hard to tell through her skin, but I could hear her heart rate quicken.

"Actually, Seth," she said quietly, "I don't know."

I was expecting many answers, but that wasn't it.

"Oh." I wasn't sure what else to say.

At the start of the cove of Third Beach we turned into the forest to take a short cut. We were both quiet, listening to the sounds of the forest, when I realised her heart rate was still fast and her breathing had quickened. "Kay? Are you alright?"

"Hmm?" she was flushed. "Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine…" her words faded off and she stopped and seemed to sway on the spot.

"Shit, Kaylie," I muttered, moving forward and holding her in my arms.

"Hmmm…" she said slowly. I leaned into her neck and took a deep breath. I could smell her scent, as pure as it always was, mingling with something else.

"Coconuts," I murmured.

"What was that?" she asked, dazed.

"Your hair smells like coconuts."

"Yeah," she said, smiling, her eyes not really focussed on me. "It's the shampoo."

I took another breath of her. There was no trace of alcohol, but for all I knew she could be intoxicated. "Kaylie, you haven't been drinking lately have you?"

"No," she snapped, then she yawned, stretching her arms out. "But I am tired. I didn't sleep at all last night. That's why I was late."

"Come on," I muttered, unwrapping my arms from around her and taking her hand again. "We've got to get to the pack."

She took a shaky step forward, then her legs collapsed from beneath her. I quickly ducked forward and caught her before she hit the ground. She groaned, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands. Her eyelids were drooping as I lifted her up into my arms, re-adjusting her so that I was holding her bridal-style. She leaned her head on my shoulder before her eyes closed completely.

Within the next minute, she was snoring softly.

After about five minutes of walking, the trees began to thin out and soon I could see the pack, plus family members plus imprints, all spread out on the cove. There were about five barbeques running, four of them feeding the werewolves, and there was a game of cricket going on that involved a hell of a lot of cheating and whacking of each other with the cricket bat.

"SETH!" roared Brady. He was waving at me but seemed to have forgotten that the bat was still in his hand. Colin next to him ducked as the bat flew past his head. They both moved forward. "About time you got here!"

"Shhhh," I frowned at Brady. He saw Kaylie in my arms and clicked his tongue. "Guys and their imprints, hey Colin?" Colin just laughed, then he looked me dead in the eye.

"You do realise that out of everyone here, she's the only one who doesn't know?"

I didn't reply.

I continued carrying Kaylie as I walked over to Emily who was operating one of the barbeques. I shifted Kaylie so that I was holding her with one hand, like a child, and Emily gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Hi, Seth," she said, smiling at me holding Kaylie who was still knocked out in my arms. "What happened here?"

"She didn't sleep all of last night and decided there was no time like the present," I muttered as I re-shifted Kay in my arms again. The movement woke her up and her eyes flickered open.

"Shoot. Sorry Seth," she said embarrassed as she slid out of my arms. There were kids, teenagers and adults running around at the moment and I heard someone give a wolf-whistle (probably Brady). "Did you carry me here all the way?"

"Yeah, but don't worry, you're light," I said as Emily handed me three hot dogs and buns. Kay hugged Emily and they were chatting. "Oh, Seth," Emily added, "Sam wants to round up all the boys in about an hour. They're going to go cliff-diving."

"Cliff-diving?" repeated Kaylie, her eyes suddenly widening. "But isn't that really dangerous?"

Emily shook her head. "Kaylie, sweetheart, the boys face way more dangerous things than cliffs."

"Like?" asked Kaylie. "I really don't see what's more scary than cliffs a hundred metres in the air."

"They're not a hundred metres in the air," I managed to say through gritted teeth. Had it been anyone but Emily throwing hints at Kaylie like that, I would've punched them out, but seeing as it was Emily, all I could do her was throw her pleading looks.

"Me, for one," Emily said as she turned back to the barbeque to serve up some boys who'd come up for food. "Ask Sam. I'm scarier than any of those cliffs."

Kaylie laughed at this, but I grabbed her hand and began to pull her away. "Yeah, Emily could poison his food," I said, but Emily just winked at me.

"What are you doing?" laughed Kaylie as I kept pulling her away.

"Don't eat anything that woman cooks," I said as I let go of her wrist. Kay laughed again and tugged at my shirt. "Come on Seth, can we go swimming?"

I stared at her. "Kaylie, you nearly collapsed in that forest, and now you want to go swimming in the middle of the freezing cold ocean? You're staying on the beach."

"Seth…" Kaylie looked at me pleadingly.

"No. Come on Kay, what if you faint out in the deep water? Where the sharks are?"

"You'll beat them off," she said brightly. "I'm going swimming whether you like it or not, I'm just asking if you want to come with me."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Kaylie, you're not going swimming today."

She grinned, turned around and sprinted off towards the beach, bag swinging off her arm. "Catch me if you can!" she yelled over her shoulder.

I ran after her, easily catching up to her and grabbing her from around the waist. The bag slipped off her arm and onto the sand, but I locked my arms around hers. She began to wriggle, but I just laughed.

"Come on Kay, you're never going to beat me."

Kay stopped struggling, and I suddenly realised how close she was to me. She seemed to be watching me, looking right into my eyes.

We both froze for about a second, watching each other.

Then in the same split second, she made a break for it and I let go.

"AAH!" she screamed as the resistance she was expecting disappeared. She plummeted forward and slipped. Quick as a flash, I stepped forward and caught her, again tightening my arms around her in the vice-like grip. "Told ya, you can't beat me Kaylie."

"Yes. I. Can." With each word she punched me or tried to duck and get out. Each time I just tightened my grip on her. "Kay, this is pointless, you're just wasting energy," I said teasingly.

Her bottom lip stuck out in a pout and she stopped moving.

"Oh but Seth, can I go swimming?" she sounded like a child - no. She sounded like Claire when she was trying to persuade Quil to wear fairy wings.

"I'm not worried about sharks or the cold water 'cos I know you'll be there. My personal heater and shark basher," she said proudly.

"Shark basher?" I repeated, eyebrow raised. "You do realise that there are no man-eating sharks in these seas, don't you?"

"Exactly," she said brightly. "I'm fine Seth, come on."

Slowly, unwillingly, I unlocked my arms. She squealed and jumped forward, locking her hands around my neck, saying "Thankyouthankyouthankyou," before she stepped back and slipped out of her dress.

Almost instinctively I turned my head and looked out at the ocean. I couldn't look at her, I just couldn't look at what didn't belong to me. There were actually quite a few people out there, which meant the water must be relatively warm. There weren't really any waves, except up near the cliff where the water was smashing against the rock face. I could see a few people up there already, probably Sam and a few others.

"Ok Seth, are you aready?" I pulled off my shirt over my head, still trying not to look at her, but I knew it was pointless. "Yupp, ready," I said as I turned around to face her.

She looked like a goddess, of course. She was wearing a bikini, sky blue in colour. I could see all her curves, and it wasn't just the imprint thing this time. She literally was beautiful.

Shit, I thought. I can't do this. I can't be around her while she's like this. Even if she was mine, I wouldn't deserve her.

I fantasised for a single moment what it would be like if she was mine, if she did belong to me, and what I would do to her if she was.

Hmm. Maybe it was a good idea she wasn't mine.

"Come on," she grabbed my hand and led me down to the surf, squealing as the cold water lapped at her feet. I picked her up in my arms again and walked out to the deeper water, up to my waist, where she screamed as I dropped her and she slipped under.

My brain was detached. I was almost scared to look at her now, or if I did I looked straight into her eyes. Poor Jacob, I thought for a moment, imagine feeling all this and having her father looking right through your head at the same time.

I suddenly had a mental image of what would happen to me if Kay's Dad could see my thoughts right now. I won't describe that mental image, but basically he was running over me with an army tank.

"SETH!" she finally yelled, splashing water on me. "Do you normally just daze off and not focus?"

"Wait, what?"

"See what I mean?" she grumbled. "You keep fading out on me. Your eyes go all glassy like you're thinking about something else."

"Sorry," I said. "I was thinking about Jake."

"Oh," she said slowly. "Do you wish he was here?"

"Yeah, course," I said. "I've got Brady and Colin, but it's not the same, Jake's my oldest friend."

Kaylie was quiet and something seemed to be on her mind.

"Seth, are you gay?"

My jaw dropped and I stared at her for a few seconds, before I started laughing. I couldn't help it, it was just completely ironic after all the stuff Brady had said about me being too emotional, not to mention how crazy the sight of Kaylie now was making me.

"What," I managed to gasp out between laughs, "ever gave you that idea?"

She slapped me. "Shuttup Clearwater, it's not funny! It was a serious question!"

It took a lot more slaps and eventually a dunk under the freezing cold salt water before I was able to sober up enough to talk properly. Even then I was still grinning.

"It's not funny," repeated Kaylie. Her lip was pouting out again, which meant she was upset.

"Ok, but seriously, whatever gave you that idea? It's not because I'm in touch with my sensitive side, is it?"

"No," said Kaylie, turning around in a huff. "It's because you never have a girlfriend."

The grin was wiped off my face. "Oh," was all I could say.

"Well?" said Kaylie.

"What? What were you expecting to hear?" I asked teasingly, but in truth her comment about having a girlfriend chilled me more than the water.

"Seth, I've known you since we were in diapers, and I've been hanging out with you for two years and you've never had a girlfriend and never even seemed interested in girls. What other conclusion was I supposed to come to? Or is there another reason?"

"Yeah, there is," I admitted, suddenly wishing I had just said I was gay.

"Why won't you tell me?"

"There's nothing to tell," I said shortly. I couldn't lie to her, but I could edit the truth. "I fell in love with a girl a long time ago. She broke my heart," even though she didn't know it, I added mentally, "and I've never really been able to move on. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Oh," she said quietly. We were both silent for a bit. Then I splashed her.

"Did you really think I was gay?"

"No," Kaylie insisted. "I just couldn't think of anything else. I didn't really think you were gay."

I started laughing again.

At that moment, just like when we were little kids, Kaylie swum behind me and jumped on my back. She was trying to wrestle with me, even though she knew that she couldn't beat me, but all I could think was that her skin was really smooth and cold and a hell of a lot of it was pressed up on my back at the moment. I swear, my vision started going fuzzy when she wrapped her legs around my waist.

"Come on, Clearwater, I could beat you in a wrestling match." I grabbed her legs and pulled her in close to me, then I started walking out deeper.

"What are you doing Seth?"

"I," I said proudly, "am taller than you. Therefore all I have to do is walk out until I find a spot where I can stand but you can't." She began whacking my back. "Seth that's not fair!"

I turned my head and grinned at her, then held my breath and ducked underwater.

As soon as she was under I let her go and we both swum up to the surface. As my head broke the surface she came up next to me, scowling.

"That's cheating!"

"That is skill," I corrected her. Now my face was close to hers, I realised that her lips had a blue tinge and her teeth were chattering. "Come on, let's get you out."

She didn't reply, just locked herself onto my back again as I began swimming back. I had trouble focussing on swimming when she was clasped on my back and I could feel her shivering against my skin. It subsided a little and I knew it was because of my body heat.

As I walked out of the water I saw Brady and Colin coming up towards me. Brady gave me a very obvious wink but I ignored him and let Kaylie drop off my back.

"Come on, Sam wants us up the top of the cliffs to go diving," said Colin.

"Can I come?" pleaded Kay, but I shook my head. "No, it's too dangerous," I said at the same time as Brady said "You stay down here sweetie with the other women." I threw him a dirty look but Brady just winked again.

"Seth, please? Can I come up the cliffs with you?" I shook my head. "Sorry Kay, but it's not my decision. I promise I'll be back." I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, then left with Colin and Brady.

Colin was eyeing me suspiciously. "You just kissed her."

"Yeah," I said soberly. I hadn't thought about it, I just leaned in and kissed her. It felt so… natural.

Brady in the meantime was grinning. "He's had a taste and he wants more."

I punched him hard in the shoulder as we started to follow the path up the cliff. "Shuttup Brady."

He just chuckled.

"But still," said Colin in a low voice, "She's got to be playing at something. She can't just kiss you and walk off."

Colin had been in an 'analytical, psychiatrist' mood since patrol last night, when he'd seen what she'd done. It was Brady who tagged him with that, and I couldn't help but admit that he was right.

We were at the top of the cliffs by now. Nearly all of the wolves were up here now, except a few of the younger ones that were still on the beach.

Sam grinned at us all. "I bags first jump." At that moment Jared ran past him and jumped off the cliff.

"Bagsing is for losers!" he managed to yell as he fell down. We heard the splash of his body hitting the water, and then Sam dived off.

When it was my turn, I hesitated on the very edge as I looked over. It was longer down than I'd remembered. I pushed off the rocks, head first, down into the water.

"SHIT!" I screamed as I realised I hadn't jumped out far enough. Heading right towards me was a huge boulder protruding from the cliff-face. It whacked against my head and blood began trickling into my eyes as I fell the last few metres into the water.

Through the pain, as I fell into the water, I registered a dark figure coming towards me from above. Then it became too much and I blacked out.