Disclaimer : I don't own it.

Note : Collaboration with Gixxer Pilot .

Warning : Rated 'T', but look out for some possibly slightly steamy smut with Ironhide/Chromia a little later. *Blushes* Just so you know, I don't usually write this stuff. I used to, for other genres and pairings, but never tried my hand at it with Transformers.

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(Normal POV)

Ironhide seemed to have a permanent smirk fixed to his face plates lately. It was an unusual look for the normally grim and trigger happy mech.

The new look even scared the twins out of pranking him, for fear he'd finally lost his processor. No one dared do anything that could possibly be considered crossing the mech, uncertain as to what he was thinking or what he'd do if pissed off.

It was when Chromia started wandering around with the same look, that Ratchet figured out what was going on, and sent a brief, vague memo to all other Autobots telling them it was medically safe, and there was nothing wrong with the mech.

"Are you sure there's nothing wrong?" Optimus raised an optic ridge as he regarded the unusually cheerful black gunner.

Smirking a little, Ratchet mimicked the look. 'He's just been reunited with his mate. Tell me, if you thought your mate had been offlined on a mission, and then were happily reunited with her, what's the first thing you'd do?' Optimus' optics widened and his cooling fans switched on abruptly, even as the leader ducked his head. Ratchet didn't need to scan him to tell his core temperature had risen a great deal just thinking of his mate. 'See? Not so hard to figure out what's going on with Ironhide, is it?' The cooling jets switched up a notch, even as Optimus' expression turned to realization and abject horror in moments.

'Oh Primus, that was too much information!' The Autobot leader shuddered where he stood, causing his armor to rattle a little, even as he took a long look at the mech talking cheerily with Jazz. 'Way too much information!' Shaking his head, he turned and stalked out of the room, only pausing to shudder again. 'If you'll excuse me, I need to go bore those images out of my processor with a knitting needle.'

Ratchet couldn't help but laugh a little, raising his hand and shaking his head when Ironhide and Jazz shot him a confused look. 'You did ask. Just be glad you weren't roomed in the same wing of the base as them last night.'

'RATCHET!' Optimus groaned internally with horror.

Snickering, Ratchet shook his head and turned, waving to the two other mechs as he made his way towards the med bay. It's good to see the love birds happily reunited, although I wish Ironhide would spend more time worrying about the troops and less...well... Trailing off, Ratchet raised an optic ridge and shook his head with his own smirk firmly fixed to his face.

"Something up, boss?" Jolt turned and watched as Ratchet entered the room, and seemed to putter around absently.

Yeah, Optimus' stress levels. Resisting the urge to smirk, Ratchet focused on straightening the tools before him, before answering. Looking up, the medibot shook his head. "Not really. Oh, how were those classes going, with Ironhide?" Ratchet felt something clench inside of him, knowing the youngster was taking more weapons training classes from Ironhide after arriving on earth, to help better protect himself. He kept up a calm facade, but inside began to get a little irritated when he recalled Jolt telling him Hide had blown him off on more than one occasion, just to spend time with Chromia.

Jolt hesitated, and Ratchet felt his ire growing by the second.

"He cancelled again, didn't he?" The tone was a low growl. I told him! I told him Jolt needed those classes! He's the only other medic we've got! Fragging 'Hide! When Jolt didn't answer, optics narrowed. "It seems I've got my answer."

"He didn't mean to! He just said that since Chromia was shipping out again in a few days-"

Ratchet held up a hand, stopping the rant. "Chromia's been on base for two earth weeks. It was more than enough time for him to catch up with her on current events, as well as train you. There's no excuse." Jolt opened his mouth and Ratchet picked up a wrench, swinging it warningly. "Theres. No. Excuse."

With a blink, Jolt nodded. "R-Right. No excuse. Got it." He backed up towards the door.

Watching the youngling taking off, Ratchet sighed and activated his internal communications. 'Ironhide, we need to talk. NOW.' He grit his dental plates grimly as he set the wrench down, before carefully hefting it agian.

'Right now? But I'm with Chromia!'

There was a blink. Wasn't he just talking to...? Wow, he's fast. Shaking his head, Ratchet growled. 'Make me come and get you, and you'll never spark with her again. I can medically guarantee it.'

There was dead silence for the longest moment, and Ratchet could swear Ironhide was actually willing to test his threat. Then he heard the fast booming of large mechanical feet running down the hall, and he smirked briefly, before hefting the wrench and fixing his features into a dark scowl. Figured that would get him.

As Ironhide burst through the door, Ratchet growled and tossed the wrench. He expected the gunner's defences to be up, to see the large black mech either blast the incoming tool or duck it with ease. What he didn't expect was the spark chamber cover to be open, and the dazed look in Ironhide's optics. The wrench clattered off Ironhide's forehead hard, causing a nasty little dent, and as it fell down his chest, it clattered once again against some sensitive wires, causing Ironhide to hiss before offlining.

Blinking a moment, Ratchet just stared at him. He was half tempted to start whistling innocently and walk out of the room, like nothing had happened, but then his medical training kicked in, and he walked over, turning Ironhide over and sighing in relief to see the spark chamber, and subsequently the spark, were unharmed. He took in what the wrench had hit and shuttered his optics with a groan.

I caught him mid-sparking, and ended up sending him into forced recharge when I hit him with a wrench. Shaking his head, he bent down and carefully picked up the mech, moving him over and laying him down on a berth, before staring at him in contemplation. He's going to want to run right back to Chromia after talking to me.

Not that talking had done any good before. It went in one audio receptor and out the other.

I have to think of something that would make him take me seriously...

Then something clicked in his processors. He, along with the other Autobots, had been forced to endure a 'Family Guy' show that the humans were very much into, and one of the episodes crossed his processors. It had been so utterly ridiculous he couldn't help but return to his memory files and review it over and over again.

With an evil smirk crossing his features, he turned and began collecting the materials he'd need, before getting down to work.

This'll teach you.

(Later)

Ironhide growled lowly as he ran his fingers down Chromia's side, revelling in her low groan. He watched, mesmerized, as she tilted her head back, before leaning in and attacking her vulnerable throat wires with his lip plates. Feeling her fingers gently ghosting up armored spark cover, Ironhide froze and shivered as delicious heat roared through his systems, causing his cooling jets to switch immediately to a higher gear, in order to try and keep his slowly overheating core cool.

"'Hiiiidddeeee...." Chromia leaned forward, catching him off guard as she gently bit at the same vulnerable wires on his throat, causing him to jump at the slight pain and almost overwhelming pleasure.

Arching into her touch, Ironhide's optics shuttered as he trembled beneath her talented fingers. He felt the clasps keeping his armor shut tight over his spark slowly unclasping, allowing her free access. Her nimble fingers dipped under the edge of the armor, causing the black mech to gasp sharply and hiss at the sensation.

Leaning forward, he caught her lip plates with his own, kissing her gently as he grabbed her hands and pinned them over her head, before slipping down to suckle at the wires exposed by the way she bent her neck.

His core kept overheating, and his fans worked harder and harder in their futile effort to keep him cool.

"Please..." Chromia gasped, writhing in his hold.

He wouldn't be detured, and his hands released her wrists, only to lightly ghost down her arms, brushing purposely against every sensitive wire he could find.

"Ironhiddddeeeee."

He felt himself getting even hotter at her tone, and smirked as he slowly lowered his lip plates to the front of her chest armor, covering her spark chamber. Glancing up at her, he blinked, and then shivered violently at the look of utter desire she shot him.

The waves of lust flowing through their link wasn't helping, either.

Then something happened that neither of them expected, and both Cybertronian lovers froze, their desires instantly forgotten.

Sproiiing!

Blinking a moment, Ironhide felt something release from his, as Mikeala had taken to calling it, 'crotch plating'. He felt it hit Chromia, causing his mate to still in confusion, before feeling it bounce a little, and a little tinkling sound.

Chromia was also laying still, blinking blankly at Ironhide. "What the pit... Well, that's never happened before." She blinked again as Ironhide slowly sat up, separating himself from her. Glancing down, her optics widened a moment, before she burst out in hearty laughter. "Oh, Primus, 'Hide!"

He looked down, growling angrily as his cooling jets switched into overtime, this time trying to cool his temperature, which was now rising from anger. "What...the....FRAG...IS THIS?!?!" By the time he finished, he was screaming in rage, glaring at his mate who was laughing her aft off and resealing her armor over her glowing spark.

"Well, so much for that idea." She giggled, standing up slowly and staring down at the large curly spring that had sprung from Ironhide's 'crotch plating'. "Don't tell me you sprung a leak." She snickered, flicking the little bell on the end, and doubling over in laughter as the spring trembled and bounced back and forth, the bell ringing loudly.

Growling angrily, Ironhide jumped off the berth, ignoring the jingling of the bell and without even a thought began stalking out of the room and down the hall.

It was the hysterical laughter as he entered the hangar that reminded him, and his processors sizzled dangerously as his optics locked on that of Ratchet. 'YOU!'

"Hey Epps, is it me, or does Ironhide seem to have more of a spring in his step?" Will smirked.

Shooting him a look, Epps snickered. "Well he's got a spring, but it's not in his step."

"Spring has sprung." Mikeala muttered absently from Sam's side, her eyes wide as she tilted her head a little. A single step from the weapons specialist caused the bell on the end to tinkle again, and she nearly doubled over laughing.

'Me.'Swinging a wrench warningly, Ratchet smirked warningly. 'Maybe now you'll take me more seriously'.

With a low growl, Ironhide looked around pointedly, trying to ignore how everyone was laughing at him. With a low sigh, he sagged in on himself. 'Why not? It's not like anyone will ever take me seriously again.'

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Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi