A:N SO First off... YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Tori fixes Beck and Jade tonight.. I'm so super pumped. I got to see the video where Liz Gillies Performed the You don't know me song in the episode and the ending early so YAY! I was So excited to see it and just because I know the ending doesn't mean I don't want to see the rest of it so I will be front and center in front of my TV at 8 or 8:30 whenever it starts.
Secondly... TAKE THAT BORI FANS... BADE IS BACK (sorry..)
Thirdly...I can't believe I'm about to reach 100 reviews.. I really Really Appreciate it you guys.. It feels great to know you guys are out there reading.. and I love your feed back..
But anyway.. I guess I'll let you read this so you can get on with your lives.
Lyrical Inspiration: What I really wanna know...My baby...What I really want to say I can't define...Well it's love that I need ...But my soul will have to Wait. ~Santeria (Sublime)
WARNING SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES MAY OCCUR ( no sexual content this time...)
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Previously:
"thanks." she said with a wink when we pulled apart. "who knew you were such a bad ass.."
I laughed.
Yeah.. who knew?
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So... you want to know my side of the story at this part?
Well...
do you or don't you?
You better be shaking your head yes because I'm not going to waste my breath twice explaining it to you all.
Losers.
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooOOOOOOO
The rest of the day beck and I just hung out... or more like slept. Considering we stayed up half the night and involved our selves in extra strenuous activity early that morning we both sort of crashed.
There was no way we could go to school. We'd already missed half the day and as suspicious as it already was we both weren't there... it would be even more suspicious if we both magically showed up. God knows how beck's friends pry.. they would have found out something sooner or later.
So We stayed in my room most the day and slept. I have to admit. It wasn't all that bad. He was warm and firm. He snored lightly and his hand no matter how many times I tried wouldn't leave my hip making me permanently pressed to him.
Every time I tried to move he'd hold me tighter and ask where I was going.
"this is my house? Where would I go?" He'd just chuckle and drift back into sleep.
After the third time I woke up I couldn't exactly go back to sleep so I spent the time looking over my childhood friend.
His skin got considerably darker. All those summers in the sun. It was almost a golden color and flawless. His hair was longer then before. It used to be just a regular hair cut. A little left on the sides and the top but never this long.
I brought my index finger up to gently pet the side of his face. I didn't want him waking up and asking why I was stroking him in his sleep With that cocky, over exuberant grin plastered on his face. Something else he grew into compared to those huge teeth he had back in grade-school. I sighed and laid my head back.
Things were different now. Way different. He didn't come over every weekend to play spies, or hide-and-seek. He didn't spend the night or call. Up until the past week he didn't even speak.
Maybe we did "Out grow each other.." As my mother so well put
I shook my head. I couldn't... I wouldn't think about why things changed. I knew better... then to think we out grew each other but know one would ever hear that story.. all they would know is things changed and I changed with them.
But hey.. I'm not complaining I liked who I've become over the years..
Feared, Respected, envied, admired, hated.
All theses things were things I loved about myself.
I've come to terms that not everyone is going to like you so why even try?
The day ended uneventful. He didn't wake up until 5:00. He had that goofy smile on his face as he stretched. I moved to get up.
I was finally free.
"Hey." He said with a tired voice.
"hey." I said back.
It wasn't that things were awkward after earlier.. it's just for once I had no idea what I was doing. I had no idea where this was headed.. what this made us.
Things were less complicated when I was throwing him and his friends back handed compliments.
"so..um.. about earlier." He started up. I knew he was thinking about it just like I was...
"It's fine.. " I said abruptly. I was telling the truth. I don't regret anything I did earlier. I just didn't know if I wanted something deeper.
Let's get one thing straight right now...
I'm not a slut. By any means.
Being a slut to me means I enjoy and search out pointless sex.
I don't know about the enjoying part. But I don't search out pointless sex. My goal in the morning isn't to wake up and say.
'Hey I wonder what guy I can fuck and then leave today..'
NO.
But I'm not the type to get deeply involved with anyone and I think that just because we had sex...
doesn't mean I'm officially obligated to him.
I know people who have children and with someone they don't want to be obligated to..
So when I say "It's fine."
It means exactly what I said.
No backwards, opposite, read-between-the-lines, meaning...Like with everything else I say.
it means..
It's fine.
"You sure." He asked arching an eyebrow. I could tell something was wrong. The way his eyes were shifting.
"Yeah..." I said looking him directly in the eye.
"ummm.. okay." was all he said moving to get off of my bed. "what time is it?" He asked moving around the room to gather his things..
That sort of stung.
To know he could just let this go so easily.
I'm jade west I'm supposed to be heartless and uncaring.
But he...
he wasn't the type.
It made me mad..
It made me mad to think that he could just completely drop it like it was nothing.
I mean sure in some instances that's just what I want. For you to drop it. But this was important.
This changed things and if he didn't want to talk about it then.. fine..
Fuck him.
"It's 5.." I said coldly looking for my robe to throw on.
"5 holy shit.." He said moving double pace. He put on his clothes and grabbed his phone. "I was supposed to meet Andre and the gang at Nozu.." He said quickly.
He wasn't thinking about that when he was screwing my brains out..was he?
"Oh really?" I said sounding uninterested and picking at my nails.
"Yeah.. so I gotta go..Is your umm.." He said pointing to the door.
"No there not here beck." I said with a sigh. I expected him to rush out of the room realizing what kind of mistake he made. Then all this could be forgotten.
but he didn't..
He walked up to me. Fully dressed. His hair looking crazy and sloppy. His clothes ajar and mis-buttoned.
"you sure your okay?" He said grabbing both of my hands. The contact made me uncomfortable and..happy at the same time. Like if I was the average teenage girl I'd been swooning and giggling.
But I wasn't the average teenage girl so all he got was a small smile.
"I'm fine." I said looking into his eyes trying to reassure him. Maybe he did actually care.
He leaned forward. His rough lips meeting with mine. He entwined our fingers together his tongue sliding along my bottom lip before I let him in..
We kissed for what felt like forever before he pulled back. His eyes hazy and clouded.
"I..I gotta.." He said stammering like he was torn between staying and going. It made me feel powerful that I had this control over him..in such a short time.
"your friends.. I know.. go before your late.." I said still so close I could feel his body heat.
He stood there for another moment before pulling away.
"I'll call you jade.." he said sadly running his hand over my cheek. Honestly he was making too big a deal out this.
"Okay..Okay..just go.." I couldn't help the happiness I let seep into my voice for the moment. "I'd hate to be the reason why you keep your precious tori waiting." I said using the classic 50's voice I deemed suitable enough for tori. He grimaced and rolled his eyes..
"I will call you jade." he said a bit firmer now..
"Okay..whatever..just go before my parents get back and your truck get's towed." His eyes widened and then before I knew it he was gone.
Just like I wanted...
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He called me.. 8 times but I ignored them. How did he even get my number? It was probably cat...
Urghh I knew having her as a friend would backfire.
I couldn't answer the phone not that I didn't want to... it was just..
I couldn't explain my actions yet. I couldn't explain why I attacked him or why we've been having these sexual episodes for the last week. If he'd just gave his part to Ryder like I wanted none of this would be happening. I wouldn't be internally conflicted about my feelings for beck Oliver..
Listen to me..
my feelings for beck Oliver..
a week ago all I felt toward Beck Oliver was respect and hatred... but mostly just hatred.
I hated his smile.. and his style of clothes.. I hated his friends
I hated his truck. His voice.. his stupid combat boots..
I just hated him and now?
Now when I see him my breath hitches a little.. and when I see him with tori I want to rip her eyes out.
How could I have jealousy for Tori Vega?
Sure she was another triple...
but it was undoubtedly known I am the best triple at Hollywood arts.
No I don't think of myself high and mighty. I had to work to get where I am on the social ladder of this prestigious high school. SO I have bragging rights..
it's just..
she's around him all the time. And don't think I don't know the look she gives him. It's the same look I had in my eye today when I was watching him sleep...
she wants him.
If she wants him.. and I want him. That means beck's going to have to choose.
And as much as it pains me to admit it.. I know deep down..deep deep down in my twisted bitter soul.. he's gonna pick her..
He's gonna pick her and there's nothing I could do about it.
Yay for me...
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I walked into school with my head held high. I was getting a few stares but that was normal. I am jade west.
Wicked witch of the west.
Can you believe I actually embrace that name?
I pulled at the flannel shirt I had on. I could feel the guys looking at my ass as I walked by.
Maybe this skirt was a bad idea.
My boots thudded on the floor as I pounded to my locker. Hot cup of coffee in one hand and my shoulder strap in the other.
"JADEY!..JADEY JADEY your back!" Cat bounded up to me. Her pink ruffle skirt swaying with every step.
"I told you to stop calling me that.." I said opening my locker and grabbing my Theater Tech book.
"But I've been calling you this forever!" cat said and pouted.. and as much as my heart is covered in ice.. there's always a unthawed spot for cat. I just rolled my eyes and closed my locker.
"Where were you yesterday?" She said looking scared.
"Home..sick.." I faked a cough. Cat gasped and put her hand on my forehead.
"are you all better?" She said her hands rubbing all over my face.
"Yes.. cat.. Yes I'm fine." I said slinging her hands away from my face.
"Oh good." she said twiddling with her hands.
"beck was out too.." She said suddenly. My eyes got wide before I brushed it off.
"Why would I care.. why do you think I care about beck?" I said quickening my pace to theater tech.
"oh no I'm not saying that it's just.. Ohh Jadey!" She said stopping mid-sentence.
"WHAT!" I said stopping to turn and look at her..
"what happened to your neck!" She said pointing to the right side of my neck.
Fuck I forgot about those..
"Nothing.. nothing I got burned." I said lying. I forgot to cover that one with make-up before I left.
"Are you sure?" She asked still pointing.
"yes cat." I said turning back around to keep walking.
"Because those look like the marks my brother gets after an all night tutoring session with his girlfriend..."
She said smiling innocently.
I grimaced. Thinking about Cat's brother having sex was something no one should ever...ever think about.
"I'm sure cat I just got burned by the curling iron is all." I said defeated there was no use in trying to convince her of anything. I think in the back of her mind. She's knows it's a hickey but to protect her outer innocent look she pretends she doesn't know..
but then again it's cat. She can't be that complex.
"I gotta get to class cat." I said turning around.
"Oh OK!... ohh Hey TORI!" she said excitedly running to approach..her. I rolled my eyes.
I kept walking making sure when I passed to give Tori one of those stares filled with evil. I watched her cower before walking up quickly to cat. I smiled.. I loved having that effect on people. But especially her...
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Three classes in and I haven't seen beck yet. I didn't make it a thing to go and look for him. I did my usual routine and hoped he'd just pop into it like he usually did but to no avail.
I stopped into the bathroom. The tag on my shirt was killing me.. nothing my handy scissors couldn't fix.
I wasn't in there for 5 minutes before I heard someone come in...
"That's so crazy.. Hahahah" I rolled my eyes.. it was cat. I would never be able to mistake that laugh..But who was she talking to?
"That's sounds crazy.." was the next phrase and I knew that voice too... It was tori.
I felt my hand grip the scissors debating whether or not I should walk out there and scare the hell out of her but something stopped me...
what they said next.
"so how did that thing with beck go the other day.." Cat said her voice echoing throughout the whole bathroom. Why didn't they check to see if anyone else was in here?
"Oh umm... it went good." Tori said hesitantly. I narrowed my eyes..
what thing with beck?
"Oh so he said yes when you asked him?" cat said surprised.
Asked him what?! I grit my teeth.
"Not exactly... I just asked him if he'd go to the showcase with me.. you know hang out after I performed... He said..as friends sure.. I said no like more then friends." She sighed. "Then he said he didn't want to ruin our friendship but he'd try it.."
My hands gripped onto my scissors so tight my knuckles were white.
"SO is that a yes?" cat asked confused.
"it's a maybe I think... I have no idea what could have changed. Last week we were flirting It up and now this week it's like he doesn't want to spend time with any of us. Every time I call it's 'oh I'm busy' or 'I'm really tired.' Yesterday he didn't even answer his phone.. I called him 5 times." She said sounded depressed.
I wanted to scream out because he was with me.. but that seemed inappropriate.
"Maybe he was sick like Jadey." Cat said. My eyes got wide.
'no cat no cat' I thought. Tori wasn't dumb and if she didn't believe the whole sick thing.. she could put to and to together.
"He said he was sick.. I didn't notice jade was out.. maybe she gave it to him.. that gank. I can't believe he let her in his house..I can't believe he's ok with her getting the lead. I was supposed to get the lead.. and then ask him out so we were the perfect Hollywood arts couple. Then all the attention could be focused on us and not her."
I rolled my eyes at how desperate tori sounded. All her fantasies sounded like something Disney would turn into a movie...
"Jadey is a nice person." cat said in my defense. I could hear how small her voice was.
"No she isn't..cat how many times do I have to... you know what let's just drop the topic of jade...I need to focus on the show and beck. He said he'd give it a try and I don't wanna mess this up." I heard some foots steps and then finally I was alone again.
I ripped the tag out of the shirt with my bare hands...
I put the thing back on and walked out of the stall looking at myself in the mirror.
How could I have been so stupid?
I kept staring into my own eyes.
How could I have been so dumb.
He was fucking playing me..
Playing me!
Jade west.
Probably thought it was some kind of game.
"Hey guys I fucked that bitch jade... such a slut."
My fist clenched on the bathroom sink. I don't know what was coming over me. I felt this pang in my chest. It hurt. My breathing was deeper and my chest hurt...
what was..
I was wet. Something wet was on my hand.
I looked to my hand and then to the mirror...
It came from my eyes. I was crying.
I heard the door to the bathroom opened and quickly wiped my eyes.
"So anyway then he said-" I cut the girl talking off short.
"GET OUT." I said intently staring at them. They both scrambled to turn around and left quickly.
I paced the bathroom. Up and down the small corridor..
"FUCK!" I said smashing my fist into the stall door.
I looked at my reddened knuckles and shrugged. Rather them then my heart.
What was I going to do?
My boots squeaked with every step. I was beyond pissed off I could feel my anger pumping in and out of my veins consuming me until...
I stopped in mid-stride.
What was happening to me? I was Jade West. I didn't let people get under my skin. Especially people the likes of Beck Oliver. If he wanted to date Tori.. then by all means but there was no way in hell I was going to make it easy
no..
you just don't fuck with the bull and not expect to get the horns...
Oh no...
if it's games he wanted. It was games he was going to get.
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There he was smiling and laughing with Andre and Robbie by his.. 'transparent' locker.
"I have no secrets and neither does my locker" I imitated in my head the speech he gave freshman year.
Bullshit.
You have secrets Oliver..
I'm one of them.
I trudged over to my locker anyway. Ignoring the way his eyes followed me there. I was thinking I was going to skip the rest of the day. It was Friday... Let this whole incident simmer over the weekend so by Monday I had some pretty good scheme to start the week off with.
Needless to say I really didn't care about the bell ringing. All I cared about was I trying to remember what my paper was on in theater tech. I was lost in thought when something grabbed me around the waist...
or someone.
"Hey."
It was beck. YAY!...
that was sarcasm.
I rolled my eyes and continued to grab books.
"Hi." I said shortly pretending I didn't feels his hands sliding down my hips.
"I haven't seen you all day." He said. There were something in his words.. that almost made me believe he actually missed me.
"Oh.. really.. that's too bad." I said squirming out of his grip and slinging my bag over my shoulder.
"Where are you going?" He said following me quickly. He obviously didn't care that everyone else was in class... which sort of intrigued me. Why wasn't goody goody beck in class?
"Why does it matter? Shouldn't you be In class with Vega?" I said still keeping up my pace.
"What?" He asked. I just sighed and kept walking you know until his hand came out and violently jerked me around.
"What are you talking about?" He said looking into my eyes. His face was squinted up in confusion. It looked like he hadn't shaved in a couple of days which really made my heart jump. He looked rugged and...
Wait.. I was mad at him...
"Nothing.. let me go." I said shrugging his hand off my shoulder.
"No jade what are you talking about? I haven't seen you all day. You wouldn't answer my calls yesterday... is there something..wrong?"
"is there something wrong? Ha...Tell me why I heard your taking Vega to the showcase?" I said my hands coming up on my hips.
"Oh that." Beck said running his hand through his hair.
"Yeah that." I said turning to walk away again... but he caught me.
I need to learn to walk faster.
"Jade listen..she asked me before..well you know..before.." He said stuttering. I decided to help him out.
"Before you fucked me.." I said blatantly making him gulp.
"Yeah." He said running his hand through his hair again.
"Listen beck.. it's fine if you wanted a one night stand you should have told me you didn-" He cut me off.
"That's not what I wanted." he sounded serious and sure.
"Well obviously.. it's-" He cut me off again.
"No not that..never that.. I just asked her before we really did anything. I completely forgot about it." He said his voice was void of anything. It was creepy how serious he was. Like some one flipped a switch.
"Sure whatever." I said still holding my ground. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know If I could trust him. I wasn't expecting a relationship but I wasn't expecting to actually feel anything for beck either sooo...
it shows you how expecting..isn't always fool proof...
"It's the truth jade.. I wouldn't do that to you.." He said again his voice not so stoic. Like he let a little emotion in. But I couldn't afford that. I couldn't let emotions cloud my thinking right now was
"and why wouldn't you want to do that to me?.. I'm the gank bitch.. the witch.. you have every right to do it.." I said. Trying to get him to confess something.. anything.. Tell me I was right so I could hate him forever and things would be easier.
He looked around a second before grabbing my hand.
"What are you.." I said looking down but he just dragged me along until we were inside the janitors closet.
"Why are we in here?" I said looking around. My arms crossed over my chest.
"I don't know why your making this so difficult." he said pacing around not answering my question.
"making what difficult." I said retorted.
"This.. Making this Difficult. WE had a good time together. It was more then just fucking.. it was different it felt different and you know it.. yet you refuse to even acknowledge it.. you act like I'm just another bed post notch. I don't understand." He said finally looking at me.
I looked at him shocked... why was he surprised. It's not like we were in a relationship. Or that he even cared about me until a week ago.
"I'm not making this difficult your making it too complicated. What if I didn't want feelings huh beck? What if I just wanted a fuck? What if I just wanted to fuck with you to get to Vega huh? Then what? Will all these magical bullshit feelings you've acquired for me in the past week melt away and then we can go back to hating each other again?" I said my voice getting louder and louder. I felt hot. I know my face was red. He was getting angry if the tick in his jaw was any indication and I was already angry. This wasn't good.
"You don't mean that." He said his eyes downcasted. "you can't mean that.. you can't be such a cold heart bitch that you'll have sex just to get your way.."
I didn't have an answer because he was right.. I wasn't someone who would do that. But what other argument did I have to avoid what was coming. He was attached... and if the episode in the bathroom was any clue.. I was attached too. I didn't want this. I just wanted to play a game have fun with him. I wasn't expecting it to escalate so quickly in a week. It was unrealistic.
"You may be right beck but it still doesn't explain how things got this far so fast. Sex is sex but what your saying is..." His fist slammed into the tool box and I got quiet.
"What..What am I saying? Go ahead tell me Jade.. you have everything figured out.. " He paused.
I stayed silent. Glaring at him. I didn't want to talk about this anymore.
"Exactly. You have no idea what I'm saying.. you don't seem to care. That's your problem. When someone is trying to get close you quickly.. quickly extinguish them so they can't see who you really are. But I've known you too long jade. You can't fool me into this tough bitch act anymore.. It won't work. I might have been blinded by all the 'stunts' you've pulled in the past but yesterday? It's not even about the sex... it's about the way we just hung out afterward... that alone proved t me that this.." HE pointed to my outfit and fingered a colored streak in my hair..
"it's a lie." HE finished. It was my turn for my fists to clench. How dare he. How dare he think that he can spend one day with me and automatically know who I was again. He knew me then but he didn't know me now...
"You don't know anything about me..not anymore." I added the last part silently.
"Who's fault is that?" Beck said throwing his hands up. "your the one that stopped hanging out with Cat, Andre and I. Your the one that deemed yourself better then us. Your the one cut all ties leaving us wondering what we did to make you hate us so much." HE said putting in over dramatic hand motions.
"Oh here we go.. it was all jade jade jade. Jade stopped hanging out with us. Jade doesn't want to talk to us. Like a relationship is a one sided thing and it was all on me to make it work. As soon as we got to high school everything changed and don't act like it didn't." I said my walking closer to him my finger jabbing his chest.
"And then when Vega came along she was the best thing in the world so yeah maybe just maybe at the beginning I was jealous of Tori because she got all the attention of the people who were supposed to be my best friends. Everyone magically wanted to hang out with her every weekend and invite her places while jade stayed home. Studying by herself, practicing by herself until.. look at that. While you were busy going mid-night bowling. I became one of the best in the class. And while you were worried about what to get tori for her birthday I'd landed the lead in the play and a student film role."
"Jade I-" He started but it was my turn to cut him off.
"You sit here and ask why I drifted away.. why I cut ties.. because you and Andre ..you weren't my friends anymore you didn't care.. Cat was the only one who bothered to even come around and tori..tori was never my friend. I don't stay places I'm not wanted. It was shocking really to see how easy you of all people let me go.. supposedly my best-friend... So of course I left. I made bigger and better friends until you were totally forgotten. Until I didn't need a best friend anymore all I needed was myself."
I moved past beck and gripped the doorknob of the janitors closet. My heart was thrumming out of control and my breathing was coming faster now.
"And ..I guess the only person I'll ever need is myself."
I walked out of the janitors closet in a quickened pace hoping and praying he didn't follow.
I Kept going practically sprinting all the way to my car.
A emotionless mask on my face.
I opened the door and sank inside locking them immediately.
Feeling a tear slide down my face.
I banged my hands on the steering wheel jarring the whole car...
"What did I do..."
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A:N well there you go.. lets see how I'll fix this one! But anyway.. Don't forget about TFBJ and if you wanna see the ending early just look up Tori Fixed Beck and Jade of the victorious Wiki and find the video.. it's really really great.. OH I CAN"T WAIT... I'm so Ready... Like a weirdo I've been tweeting Liz gillies all day!
But anyway...
Read and review
Love,
Gabbie
P.S. BADE IS BACK YES!