Chapter 7 Getting answers
"Jake shit I'm really really sorry." I was such a idiot why couldn't I have turned my head when I was being sick or just not have been sick at all! Jake sighed and tried to smile but it was so fake. He pulled his sock off and chucked it outside then put a towel on top off where I had been sick. "Bella I was afraid of this. We need to go for a walk. Where had his normal soft kind tone gone? Where had this harsh angered tone come from? The Jacob I knew was in there somewhere, somewhere in this gorgeous dark body that stood before me but where?
"Ok Jake what's up with you? You never want to talk anymore. You never return my calls you've been ignoring me for the past 3 days. Is it me what've I done? Please tell me." My body felt far from tranquil it felt like it was going to have a heart attack.
"Bella it's nothing to do with what you've done. Now let's walk please." There was silence all the way to what seemed the end of the journey. He stopped and held me close to his warm body I was instantly warmed up from the freezing cold air that surrounded my body. "Bella please trust me when I say this I love you so much and always will do. You and Paul well you can't be near each other without even thinking of being civil to each other. When he attacked I thought what if it had been me and you arguing, you've seen what's happened look at Emily and Sam for instance. I'm scared Bella in case I hurt you I really don't want to. Bells for your own safety Paul has to leave everyone has to leave. I'm so sorry Bella but one day it will be me who hurts you I'm sorry Bella but it's over I'm leaving" My heart stopped beating my world seemed so much like a dream like I wasn't real like I had died. "Jake it won't be you; I know it won't please stay with me while the pack goes. Sod my safety I love living with you in my life Jake, like there's no tomorrow like nothing can hurt me, without you I can't do anything. You're my life my whole world! Jake please don't do this!" My world was breaking; my lungs were struggling to breathe all I wanted was to get some answers not loose him!
"Bella it's best for you it'll be like I never existed the cross will be the only thing but your forget me in time. I mean with mates like yours your be having a ball soon find a new guy. I'm so sorry Bella but this is the way it has to be." My ears weren't hearing this, I will wake up any second now just with tears streaming down my face and realizing it's a dream. "Jake it doesn't you can stay with me I know you won't hurt me, I trust you. I love you! Please don't do this. I don't want any other guy except you." The desperation in my tone was very clear and my tears must have looked like crystals. "Bella Swann it has to be this way. Stop torturing yourself even more and let me go! I'm so sorry Bells this is hurting me just as much as it is you I live forever you don't, I'll have this memory stuck in my brain forever" he lent down and whispered softly into my ear "Bella I love you with all my heart all my flesh everything on me I'm so sorry but this is goodbye" His face looked so tortured, my legs were so numb and tears of my sorrow and pain wouldn't stop rolling of my cheeks.
Why wasn't I fighting back? Was this me accepting it? Without a chance to begin to fight back he had phased and ran into the woods something glistened around his ankle I couldn't make out what though this would be the last ever image I had of Jacob black my one true love! This wasn't happening; it had to be a terrible nightmare. I wasn't going to believe this was real. Splinter by splinter my heart was falling apart, being torn part by part away from one another. This wasn't happening, it couldn't happen!