He hates me

Met a girl, thought she was grand
fell in love, found out first hand
went well for a week or two
then it all came unglued

in a trapped trip I can't grip
never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I was living one big lie

Eric lied. He wasn't tired. He was tired of trying to pretend that nothing happened. He was tired of trying to be the only one reliving the past. He knew at least a little part of Hyde was too. There is no way he would of found him reading the letter Eric had wrote right before he left and looking at pictures. He knew there was something there. He didn't understand though if it was still there. He didn't know what had been going on in Hyde's life. He needed to understand everything. Something's had changed though. He was not going to sit and pretend life was wonderful. He was not going to be that person anymore. Hyde wanted to pretend that was fine but he wasn't going to anymore. A week was long enough, either they talked about it or they avoided each other. That was the only option Eric could come up with.

Instead of going to bed, he called Donna. If anyone was going to understand, she would. She understood everything. She knew everything also. She knew stuff that he had told her and she had suspicions of other stuff. Donna was funny that way.

"Eric, it's 1am. What do you want? I need my beauty sleep." Fez whined when he answered the phone.

"I need to talk to Donna." Eric rolled his eyes as if Fez could see him.

"Eric, she needs her beauty sleep more than I do. I am beautiful…" Eric heard Donna asking who was on the phone in the background. "It's for you but really it is to late. You should be in bed." He heard her smack Fez and pick up the phone.

"If you get a call that they found the body of a very attractive, gay male who was brutually murdered in Madison, tell them you have no idea who they would be referring to okay?" Donna laughed into the phone. Eric shook his head. "So what's up stick boy."

"I need answers." Eric sighed.

"I was wondering when you were going to get the guts to ask about Hyde." Donna giggled.

"He's fucking driving me insane." Eric tried to lower his voice but it was hard not to show his anger.

"Yes. Steven. Hyde. Pain. In. The. Ass. Moving on. What do you want to know."

"What's going on with him?" Eric asked.

"Can you be more specific?" Donna questioned.

"He won't talk to me. He won't look me in the eye. He acts like we were never friends. Tonight I found some chick in his room and you know they were getting high and probably having sex."

"You walked in on them?"

"Well no but I saw her come out of his room and as soon as he saw me sitting on the steps he took off."

"What did she look like?" Donna asked. Hyde hadn't been with anyone since the stripper. She was sure he wasn't going to be with anyone now that Eric was home. He was rude and an asshole sometimes but he wasn't heartless. If he could wait years for Eric he wasn't going to ruin that with a one night stand.

"Does it matter?" Eric questioned. "Are you getting off on this or something."

"Seriously Eric. Pay attention. WHAT DID SHE LOOK LIKE?" Donna listened but got no response. "A blond Jackie. Giggling and annoyingly girlie?" Donna asked. There was silence. "I'm guessing I was right. Dumbass that's Hyde's little sister."

"Little sister?" Eric was confused.

"Yeah. His dad had kids also." Donna laughed.

"An older sister but this was not Angie and she was not half black." Eric retorted.

"Ahh but she is. She takes after her mother who is actually white. Apparently Hyde's dad likes the white women. Go figure. Anyway yeah that's his little sister Stephie."

"Are you sure?" Eric didn't want to believe her. He felt like an idiot.

"Yeah she probably got out of school and came over to hang out with him as usual. She is a bit of a stoner herself. "Donna laughed. Boy drama was so cute sometimes.

She fucking hates me
trust
she fucking hates me
la la la love
I tried too hard
and she tore my feelings like I had none
and ripped them away

"He said there was nothing between us but friendship." Eric felt like crying.

"Hell I would too if you just up and left me. You moved to another country without even talking to him first. You were so convinced that everything would go wrong. People would hate you and it would make life harder if you stayed but you never even considered what he wanted. He was your best friend. You were in love with your best friend Eric and you moved away like it was nothing. What is he suppose to do? Act like everything is the way it was before. Ten years is a long time to wait Eric. It's not just going to fall back into place. You hurt him more than you will ever realize."

"You don't understand."

"I don't. My roommate is gay. I have pretty boys in and out of my apartment all the time. Do people accept them? Not all the time. Fez is one of my best friends Eric. Yeah his life is hard but at least he didn't run away from it and hurt the one person who loved him more than life itself. You were all that Hyde had and you left him. There is no way in hell he is going to just jump back into your arms and say it's okay." Donna was talking so fast and she was so furious he could hardly understand her. "Even if he wanted to, Hyde has never been that way. He has gotten better with forgiving things and trusting but you broke that trust when you left. You broke him. It's going to take work to win him back. If you even can."

"So he does hate me."

"No you dumbass. He loves you but he can't go there right now. He can't get hurt again. He can't lose his world again. You are going to have to have to deal with that or run away again."

"I didn't run away."

"Yes you did and maybe it was the right thing to do. I don't know. I'm not in your situation but you have got to see where he is coming from. Don't lie to yourself or him about that. You were scared. You couldn't handle it. You couldn't handle Kitty and Red's reaction. It wasn't just about protecting Hyde."

Eric didn't know what to say. He just stared at his wall.

"I know you have a lot to think about now and I'm exhausted. I need sleep and so do you. Call me tomorrow." Donna yawned. "I love you Eric but don't be an asshole." She hung up the phone.

Well, that hadn't helped, Eric thought as he hung up the phone. Did he run away? Was he protecting himself more than Hyde? He laid in bed trying to sleep for hours. He couldn't. He had to do something. After pacing in his room for 15 minutes which seemed like an hour finally he went downstairs. Comfort food would help. There was nothing in the frig looked appealing. He heard something coming from the basement. Without even thinking he went down there.

Hyde was sitting on the couch watching Saturday night live. He was alone and all the lights were off. Years ago that would have been Eric's perfect way to spend Saturday but now it just hurt. "You were his world and you took that away." Ran through his head. Donna sure got her point across. He didn't even ask Hyde what he wanted. He was selfish. Eric walked down the stairs softly. Hyde didn't seem to notice or didn't acknowledge him. He sat down on the couch beside him.

Hyde took a deep breath but continued watching tv.

"I'm sorry." Eric said staring at the tv.

"For what?" Hyde asked not even glancing his way.

"For running away." Eric was close to tears.

"Ok." Hyde wasn't about to say anything more. It would break him and he would go back on everything he was trying to accomplish.

"It's not okay but it doesn't matter. I'm the one who created the way we are now and so I need to deal with it but I want you to know I am sorry. I get it now."

"You get what now?" Hyde still wouldn't look at him but now Eric couldn't take his eyes off of Hyde.

"I was selfish. I screwed up. I have no right to expect anything to be the same or you to even acknowledge me. I still love you but I have no right too." Eric wiped a tear from his eye and stood up.

"Sit down Forman. This is your favorite show too." Hyde finally said after a few minutes.

Eric sat back down on the couch. He couldn't concentrate on the TV though but something was keeping him there. He had no idea what though.

Authors Note: Lyrics for this songfic is from She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd. I was listening to it when the idea came to me.