So... who thought we'd be back here, huh? I'm so sorry for disappearing. I've had an interesting few months- I even fell out of the Hetalia fandom for a while! But throughout it all people have still been reading my work, and I've found myself being pulled back into it. Yes a small, horrible minority of this fandom got to me more than they should have done, so much so that I was temporarily blinded to all the wonderful people that are in it. And so I'm back, and I hope that you can continue to enjoy my stories :)
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CHAPTER SEVEN- In Which Our Delinquent Plays Cupid
Arthur Kirkland was many things, yet one thing he definitely was not was a morning person. Ever since he had started at World Academy his body had protested bitterly at the new early morning routine and he was usually in a catatonic state until he reached the school gates, and the only reason he was woken up fully was either to do with Liz eagerly chatting away in his ear, or trying to dodge completely delusional males who had taken it upon themselves to woo Alice.
The weekend, therefore, was highly anticipated, as he was allowed to sleep for as long as he wished. Well, usually. Today was very different in that he had slept at someone else's house: at Lili's house. So not only did that mean that he had had to keep his wig on and borrow some of Vash's pyjamas to sleep in (Lili's pyjamas were too small), it also meant that he got to spend the night up close and personal with Lili. Which, for the most part, was pretty fucking awesome. But now it was something that was a major problem.
Arthur had woken up that morning uncharacteristically early, partly because Lili hadn't drawn the curtains all the way so there was sun streaming into the room, and partly because the petite blonde had shifted and mumbled something incomprehensible in her sleep as she unconsciously slung an arm across the 'girl' next to her, causing 'her' to wake up.
"Shit." That was Arthur's first word of the day. He glanced over to the sleeping angel next to him and probably would have smiled softly or something had he not been in a rather unfortunate, albeit natural, situation.
"Liz!" he hissed, trying not to wake Lili up, "Liz!" The brunette continued to snore away and he groaned, doing his best to extract himself from Lili and utterly failing. He moved to grab the pillow he was lying on and chucked it at the Hungarian across from him, who jolted awake and blinked in confusion before glaring over at Arthur.
"What was that for?" she demanded, but Arthur quickly shushed her.
"I need you to get Lili off of me without you waking her," he explained in a whisper.
Liz surveyed the scene before her, Lili comfortably snuggled against Alice's chest, and couldn't help but think it was rather sweet. "Why?" she asked, "I thought you'd like something like this."
"Oh trust me, any other time of day and I would. But not now." Liz didn't seem to comprehend, so he sighed and muttered, "It's the morning." Again, her face remained blank.
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Christ, Liz," he groaned, "What often happens to the male persuasion in the morning?" It took a while, but after a moment her eyes began to widen in understanding and, sure enough, when her gaze not-so-subtly flicked further down south her face blossomed into red.
"Arthur!" she squealed, causing the Brit to hurriedly shush her as Lili shifted once more but didn't quite wake up. "I'm ashamed of you," she hissed, "I don't even want to know what you were thinking about!"
"I wasn't thinking about anything!" he countered, "This is a natural occurrence that happens as the brain enters the REM-deep sleep phase. The body's skeletal muscle structure relaxes and causes hyper vasodilation in the capillaries of the body, resulting in, well, this."
Liz scratched the back of her neck awkwardly. "I keep forgetting you're actually smart," she admitted. "So…" awkward cough, "What do you w-want me to do?"
"What's with the stuttering?" Arthur asked irritably, "I'm hardly going to ask you to take care of it." He paused before smirking, "Unless you want to."
"Gross!"
"I was joking," he sighed, "Though by the way your eyes keep gravitating there you are clearly checking me out. I know I'm impressive." He winced when he found the pillow he had thrown at Liz smashing against his face full force. This girl really didn't understand humour, did she? "Look, you need to get her off of me so I can get to a bathroom or something. Because her presence is not going to make it go away," he admitted. There was no guy on the planet who could get rid of the usual morning problem when their crush, a cute girl who smelt lightly of roses, courtesy of some of that new perfume she bought yesterday, was cuddling up to them. "And if she wakes up, it'll be obvious that I'm not a girl. Besides, you owe me. I helped you out with your girl problem, so you need to help me with my guy one."
"Err, right," Liz said, nodding as she looked at the task ahead of her. Lili had pulled some sort of lemur manoeuvre and didn't seem as though she'd stop clinging to Arthur any time soon, so she went with the first plan that came into her head. "Get ready to run when Lili wakes up," she warned, and before Arthur could question her Liz was shouting, "FIRE!" at the top of her lungs.
"Fucking seriously?" Arthur deadpanned, but was quickly alerted to the fact that Lili had shot up and was joining in with the nonsensical screaming. Well, the plan had been ridiculous, but it was ludicrously effective. He quickly bolted out of the room and made a beeline for the bathroom, sighing in relief when he closed the door behind him and he was safe.
"Too close," he sighed, locking the door and then leaning against it for good measure, looking down at his traitorous body. He came to the conclusion that having a sly wank in someone else's bathroom wasn't exactly proper etiquette, so he began to play a rather creative game that he elegantly called 'Boner Killer'. The aim of the game was simple: think of something so horrific that he'd have to be the most twisted and kinkiest bastard on the planet for still staying up.
After trying to imagine a couple of scenarios he conjured up an image of Rome posing in a pair of skimpy speedos while gushing about his grandkids. This scenario had two advantages: the morning problem was effectively killed and he remembered that he needed to be at the shop to attend to Bolognese's problem. The only disadvantage was that Arthur was now mentally scarred for life.
He spent a couple of minutes gagging at this horrendous image while simultaneously trying to whitewash it from memory before he felt sufficiently prepared to go back out there, fixing the wig a little so it wasn't sloping off weirdly to the side. When he entered Lili's room it was to the sight of Lili breathing harshly and Liz sheepishly explaining that she was having a nightmare about fires, but don't worry because they're safe. Honestly, such a silly plan really shouldn't have worked.
Liz turned around when she heard Alice enter and raised an eyebrow. "Everything taken care of?" she asked, to which Alice nodded and muttered a few words of thanks before rooting around for her school uniform and the clothes she had purchased yesterday.
"Are you leaving already?" Lili asked, looking up with wide eyes and actually looking devastated at this turn of events. Arthur very nearly broke, wanting to assure the girl that he'd stay as long as she liked, but he had family waiting for him. There was a hyper hound that was probably missing him terribly and then there was that weird Italian side of the family waiting for him at an antique shop.
"I'm sorry," Alice said, bowing her head respectfully, "But I have a lot to do today. I had so much fun though, we should really do it again some time!" He beamed at Lili, who nodded in understanding before smiling back.
"I'm glad," she said, sighing with relief. "I'll see you on Monday then?" she asked, and Alice nodded before moving back to the bathroom to get dressed.
Leaving Lili's house was a surprisingly emotional affair that involved a lot of hugging. Honestly from the amount of cuddles he was getting you'd think he was heading off into war, not walking home. Liz also gave him a hug when he was halfway out the door, though that was mainly so she could wish Arthur good luck with Feliciano.
"Keep me updated, okay?" she asked worriedly.
"It'll be fine," Arthur assured her, smiling. "How difficult can a possibly unrequited gay romance be to solve?"
He walked off then, waiting until he was out of sight before he decided to jog home. May as well work on his stamina. The transformation that took place on the streets was truly fascinating. The further he jogged the smaller and more unkempt the houses became, so much so that by the time he reached his own street it may as well have been a warzone after all. And yet even so, this was his home. As he ran his hand along a rough stone wall, his purple and pink nails in sharp contrast to the dull grey, Arthur decided that he wouldn't trade his tiny place for one of those big houses that his fellow students resided in. At least not yet.
"I can't leave yet," he murmured, glancing up at the clouds and sighing. A sudden gust of wind caused him to shiver, and suddenly he had that tense feeling once more. He looked around quickly, wondering if the phantom stalker had returned, but the guy must have been a sodding chameleon because even though it sure felt like there was a presence watching him, there was nothing there. He shrugged and carried on down the street, pausing when he heard a loud clashing noise coming from a nearby alley.
Against his better judgement Arthur decided to investigate the darkened alleyway that, should any big-shot Hollywood producers happen to be passing by for some reason, they would be inspired by such creepiness that the alleyway would become the latest set of a horror or thriller film. Or perhaps one that contained gangsters and people using narcotics irresponsibly (well, was there actually any other way to use them? Huh...) While any normal person probably would have hurried past it and ignore the shady street's very existence, Arthur peeked around the corner to see if there was something there.
Now, he wasn't really sure what the hell he was looking for. It wasn't as if there would be a dragon or that big arse spider from Harry Potter hiding in the shadowy depths. No, if anything would be there then it would probably be more along the lines of a psychopathic serial killer. Or perhaps the lair of his mythical stalker. Either way, the results came up terribly boring, no mythical creatures or mentalists to be found.
He was about to continue on his way until he heard a small shuffling noise and then, quite out of nowhere, a huge killer monster leapt out at him. Well, that was the dramatised version of things. It wasn't so much 'huge and killer' and more 'small and fluffy' and was quite the opposite of the monster: a kitten. Still, it was a wonder the thing was alive, or at least, looking so healthy. The only cats that resided here tended to be the type that could pass for mutated rats and looked as though they were proficient in weaponry.
"Hey," Arthur said casually, looking at the little ball of fluff. It looked back with big amber eyes and mewled, trotting up to him curiously. "Lonely?" he questioned, but before the animal could reply that same clash from earlier sounded from deeper in the alley and it scampered off, having been startled.
Arthur tilted his head to the side, taking off the Alice glasses and placing them in a carrier bag that held his uniform. He thought about calling out to see if anyone was there, but that was the mistake every idiot in horror films made and they usually ended up dead by giving away their position. Instead he edged his way down the alley, the master of stealth, keeping a look out for anything strange. Soon he heard incomprehensible mumbling and before too long a man came into view.
Oh, it was just the friendly neighbourhood hobo. That was… actually very anti-climactic. Arthur sighed and moved to turn around but apparently the friendly neighbourhood hobo noticed him and he bared a toothy grin.
"Oh hello there sweetheart," he drawled, leering at him (although technically he was leering at Alice), "Wanna have some fun?"
Arthur knew for a fact that his version of 'fun' and this man's version of 'fun' were extremely different things.
"No thanks," he said, Alice voice neatly in place as he tried to move away.
"Aww c'mon," the guy said, an odd look in his eyes and when Arthur stupidly stopped if only because he'd never seen someone look quite so insane before, the man reached out and grabbed his wrist. Hm. Perhaps this was the not so friendly neighbourhood hobo. "Pretty girls don't come down here often," he grinned, leaning into Arthur's personal space. The Brit took note of the man's shoes that were falling apart and the grotty old Disney t-shirt that he had on.
Perhaps the usual reaction when one finds themselves caught in the clutches of a highly questionable hobo is to calmly proceed to freak the fuck out, but Arthur was far more concerned to know that this man had been to Disney World at some point in his life. Arthur hadn't. And that just seemed completely unfair. Then again, Arthur's life was a little bit like a Disney film at the moment, what with his Cinderella-style transformation from rough delinquent to shy Alice. And now he was in the company of a man who had supercalifragilistic-extreme-halitosis. Seriously, this guy needed a breath-mint urgently.
The issue of the not so friendly neighbourhood hobo's breath very quickly became of secondary importance to the Brit when he suddenly felt bricks behind his back and a terrifyingly disgusting face looking thoroughly overjoyed.
"I wouldn't do this if I were you," Alice said calmly, managing to look bored with this situation. The man paid little attention and began rubbing his grubby hands all over her new white shirt. Brilliant. Those stains would be a bitch to get out.
"Number One Kisser, huh?" the man hummed, "Wanna show me those skills, sweetheart?"
Huh. So this man was literate. That was actually the biggest surprise Arthur had encountered all day. But now the guy was leaning in and that was just a big fucking no. Alice turned her head to the side, shooting the man a withering glance. "Stop," she said again, but she was ignored. And Alice really hated not being listened to.
Bad Breath got handsy then, and when his grubby hand wandered up Alice's skirt her eyes widened. She found herself torn between utter disgust at the fact that she was being touched in a very intimate place, and laughing her arse off because Mr Hobo appeared to have noticed something off about Alice's anatomy.
"It's my first time with another man," Arthur said in his usual voice, smirking up at the bloke, "But I like it rough~" He grabbed the wrist that had failed to move from his crotch and quickly twisted himself behind the man so that the wrist locked behind his back. The man let out a surprised yelp when Arthur applied enough pressure to bring the man to his knees. "Honestly, taken out by such a simple lock," Arthur sighed, pushing more until he heard a quiet crack and the man sobbed.
"Now now, don't worry," he soothed, "That's just your shoulder dislocating. I'm gonna leave now, okay? And if I catch you in my neighbourhood again I'll break your bloody shoulder next time. We clear?" He let go and began to stalk off, but he heard a rush of footsteps and sighed, bracing himself before he was tackled to the floor. The not so friendly neighbourhood hobo resembled a wild animal at this point, raising his uninjured arm and clenching his fists. Arthur quickly brought up a hand to block it, but simply held it there, staring at his hand.
For the first time in this whole ridiculous charade, he found himself becoming positively angry. "Hey," he said quietly, not taking an eye off of his hand as he shifted his body weight and rolled them over, "What do you see here?" His voice was dangerously low, thrusting his fingers right into the man's face. He blinked in confusion for a moment, struggling, but Arthur smacked him across the face and asked the question again. "Oi, answer the bloody question."
"F-Fingers?" the man asked, in shock.
"Look closer," Arthur prompted.
The man squinted. "Nail varnish?" The man actually began chuckling, and Arthur joined in.
"Haha, yeah. It's pretty funny, huh? A guy dressed up like this, and wearing nail varnish… but you see, these nails actually took fucking ages," and then he was glaring, "And then you come along and made me break a nail!" He peered at the chipped nail in question, the purple and pink swirls not looking perfect any more, and he clenched a fist. "I was being nice before, but I'm through with you. If I catch you trying this sort of shit on any girls that pass through this street I'll kill you. But in the meantime, I'd say a broken nose is adequate compensation for you traumatising me and breaking my damn nail." Before the man could protest, Arthur brought his fist down on the man's nose, hearing a satisfactory crack. As the man rolled around in pain and clutched his bloody nose, Arthur calmly stood up, dusted his skirt down, and picked up the carrier bag that had his clothes in. He refused to look back.
"Fuck, now I'm late for work," he mumbled, looking up and seeing someone peering around the corner. Arthur felt that same feeling again. W-Was that… his stalker? Shit did the person just see what went down? "Hey!" he yelled, sprinting forward, but the person quickly whizzed around the corner and by the time Arthur made it back out onto the main street, the person was gone. "Dammit," he cursed, looking around. "I'll find out who you are!" he called out irritably, "Just you wait!" He knew he was being followed; it was such a relief to know that he wasn't going completely mad after all. But of course now he had to contend with the very high probability that his stalker knew that Alice wasn't really a girl…
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"Hey Rome, sorry I'm late!" Arthur called as he stepped into the antique shop later on that day, showered and back in his usual attire. He was also sporting a pair of woolly gloves as a means to cover up the nail varnish (and that one chipped nail that really was bugging him more than it should do). The little bell tinkled as usual.
Farley bounded into the shop excitedly, very nearly knocking over a small statue of a Roman Legionary in the process. "Farley, calm down," Arthur said, shaking his head at the hyper hound. Still, he didn't have the heart to keep the poor dear at home all day while he was out working. He already felt like an animal abuser just for leaving him alone for one night.
The startling lack of an eccentric Italian to greet him was somewhat disconcerting, but as he turned a corner to head towards the till he saw a familiar face sat cross-legged on top of the counter and looking around in a subdued manner. Feliciano looked completely demoralised, shoulders hunched and odd little flyaway curl drooping as well. Arthur frowned. This boy had come to DDIY for help and yet he found himself in the middle of a sexuality and morality debate that he'd probably had with himself many times. And while Arthur didn't feel any need to attack Jones on his homophobia that didn't lessen the effect that the words must have had on the Italian.
Arthur took a deep breath before casually walking up to the counter. "Hey, who the hell are you?" he asked, placing a hand on his hip and looking Feliciano up and down. The Italian seemed to have been in a far-off place and jumped at the sudden question, looking a little sheepish for a moment.
"Ah, buongiorno," he greeted with a small smile, "I'm Feliciano." He paused for a moment, looking Arthur up and down, "Are you Arthur?"
Arthur raised an eyebrow. Had he told Feliciano his name yesterday? "Uh, yeah," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
The Italian beamed and hopped off of the desk. "Oh wow, it's so amazing to finally meet you," he said happily, walking over to Arthur, "Grandpa has told us so much about you~"
"He… has?" Arthur asked. That was news to him. He didn't think Rome even thought about him outside of work-hours.
"Of course silly," Feliciano giggled before his happy expression morphed into one of horror and he let out a high-pitched shriek. "Ah, don't let it get me!" he yelped, jumping back onto the counter as Farley rounded the corner and gracelessly crashed into a wall because he took the turn too fast. Honestly, that dog was an idiot at times.
"You don't like dogs?" Arthur asked, calling Farley to heel and sit. The dog did so, sitting loyally at his master's feet and tilting his head to the side curiously at the shaking human on top of the counter. "He's very friendly, I promise. Wouldn't hurt a fly."
"B-But—" Feli began, flailing somewhat wildly so that he lost his balance and crashed to the floor behind the counter. Arthur was about to ask if the Italian was okay but soon a head peered over the top of the till. "He's not dangerous?" he asked.
"Nope," Arthur assured him, and Farley trotted around the desk to go and nuzzle into Feliciano. "See? He's a big cuddly idiot," he smiled, and although Feliciano still looked unsure he gingerly reached out to pat Farley on the head. "Where's Rome, by the way?" he asked, looking around the store once again.
"Huh? Oh, grandpa went out to get some milkshakes. Because they usually cheer me up…" he said quietly, looking despondent once again. Right, Arthur needed to help the guy out.
He sat down on the floor, joining the other two, and scratched the back of his neck. Romance wasn't exactly Arthur's forte, and gay love was even further away from that, but he'd give it a go. "Care to share?"
Feliciano hesitated for a moment before he sniffed. "W-Well…" he began, "I have a best friend called Ludwig—" And so he was told the story once again. About how he'd always chased after pretty girls but lately found himself feeling very attracted towards Ludwig and all the confusion that brought along with it. He even got more information, like how he was scared to tell his brother about these new homosexual feelings for fear of being rejected by him. Feli also recounted what had happened when he approached DDIY with the situation, and told Arthur about Alice, the girl who told him to come here and seek Arthur's help.
"I never thought about going to my other fratello," Feliciano admitted, and Arthur looked at the other curiously. Didn't fratello mean brother? Maybe he wasn't the only one who viewed their relationship as sort-of-brothers-but-not-related after all. "So," he said once he'd finished telling his tale, "What should I do?"
"Couldn't you just tell Ludwig?" Arthur asked, idly stroking behind Farley's ears.
"No!" Feliciano replied quickly, looking genuinely fearful. "What if he hates me? I… I couldn't bear that." That much was obvious, the poor guy was close to tears once more.
"Okay okay, I get it," Arthur said, holding his hands up, "But you know… if he'd hate you over something like that, doesn't that just mean he wasn't a real friend to begin with?"
Feliciano didn't answer him, just sat there lightly shaking. Perhaps that wasn't the most tactful thing to say… besides, people say all sorts of stupid things that they don't really mean when faced with new information for the first time. It wasn't hard to imagine Ludwig recoiling in horror at being confessed to by his male best friend if only because he hadn't had time to truly process the information. In Arthur's experience, the only time someone was truly honest was in times of desperation and fear. He straightened up suddenly, being struck with inspiration. It was a way that would confirm one way or another whether this Ludwig person was willing to stick by Feliciano's side, and if it didn't work… then Arthur could say he made the whole 'gay' thing up. Farley pricked his ears up, gazing up at Arthur curiously.
"Hey Feliciano," he said, "Sorry to ask this of you, but could you help me carry one of the antiques from the front of the store to the back?" He smiled disarmingly, and Feli thankfully nodded and moved to sit up. On their way over to the random antique in question that didn't really need moving, Arthur patted the Italian on the back in a show of reassurance. What the other boy didn't notice was the fact that, during the gesture, Arthur had successfully pick-pocketed his mobile. That was a skill they didn't teach at World Academy.
Once they'd carried a giant vase to the back of the store, Farley on their heels, Arthur paused for a second before whispering, "Farley… attack." The dog sprang into action, leaping up at Feliciano to lick at him happily and, predictably, Feliciano began to panic.
"Uwah! H-Help me!" he squealed, but Arthur simply ignored that in favour of jogging back through the store and scrolling through the contacts in Feli's phone. He stopped on the Ludwig one and called him up, hoping that this plan would end favourably.
"Hallo?" a deep voice answered, surprising Arthur for a moment. He hadn't quite expected a voice like that to be picking up the phone. He'd assumed that Feliciano's friend was perhaps a boy on the smaller side, like those pretty girls he said he liked. But this voice was rapidly changing the Brit's opinion on what Ludwig looked like.
"Hey there," he purred into the phone, "I assume that I am talking to Ludwig right now."
"Who is this?" the voice asked irritably, "Where's Feliciano?"
"Ah, what a good question. The cute little Italian has gotten himself into a bit of a bad spot," Arthur said calmly, leaning against one of the shelves.
"What have you done with him?" Ludwig demanded.
"I haven't done anything… yet. He kept yelling for Ludwig and I got curious, and so here we are. It's a pleasure~" He received no reply, just heavy breathing on the other end of the line. Good, Ludwig was freaking out. "Anyway, I thought I'd give his precious 'Luddy' a chance to rescue him. Besides, I have some news that I'm sure you'll find immeasurably interesting. But come quick, okay? If not, I can't guarantee his safety…" He moved towards the back where Farley was running manic circles around Feliciano, who had not ceased his yelling despite the fact that Farley was clearly playing and not hurting him at all.
"Feliciano!" Ludwig yelled, but it was pointless. "Where are you?" he asked frantically.
"Funnily enough, I found out that Feliciano's grandfather owns an antique shop. Thought I'd loot the place. I have him locked up in there. You know where Janus is, right? Meet me outside, and don't keep me waiting." He allowed Feliciano's ridiculous wails to be heard for a few more seconds before he ended the call.
"All right Farley, that's enough," Arthur ordered, and just like that Farley calmed down and trotted over to his side. "You okay Feliciano? Sorry if he scared you…"
"I-I'm fine," he said, looking thoroughly traumatised. Arthur did feel a little guilty about that, but hey, if all went well, Feliciano may have a boyfriend by the end of the day.
"I need you to do me a favour," he said carefully, walking over to the Italian and looking him in the eyes seriously. "Ludwig is going to be here soon, and I am going to say some horrible tings about you, but I don't mean them." Feli blinked up at him in confusion. "Please don't ask questions yet, hopefully this will all make sense in a bit. So what I need you to do is stay inside the shop until I say so, all right?"
He grabbed the other's hand, navigating through the small space and stopping at one of the windows. He opened it slightly so that the Italian would be able to hear everything, and instructed him to stay hidden and simply listen to what Ludwig had to say. "Can you do that for me?" the Brit asked, smiling when Feli nodded a little unsurely. "Good, just trust me," he grinned, going to wait outside of the shop.
He spent his time simply leant against the wall of the shop, hoping that Rome wouldn't choose any time soon to return, and found himself thinking about the future of DDIY. Would they still have four members on Monday? From what he'd seen of Gilbert, the guy seemed pretty laid back. So for him to get so annoyed may very well spell the end of his short stint in the club.
He'd apparently become lost in his thoughts because at some point someone was yelling and when Arthur glanced up he caught sight of a tall and imposing figure positively glaring at him with ice-blue eyes. That glare could probably literally freeze a lesser man. Arthur quickly analysed: Ludwig was taller than he was, but that was hardly a surprise. He looked as though he worked out. His arms were his strong point; any fighting this boy intended on doing would predominantly be with his fists. Perhaps this fight wouldn't be as easy as he'd initially thought.
"Where's Feliciano?!" the German barked out.
"Aww, already thinking about him? Aren't you happy to see me?" Arthur asked, pushing off from the wall and casually walking a few paces forward.
The fact that Ludwig came running at him with a fist intended for his face showed that no, actually, he wasn't happy to see Arthur. How hurtful… The Brit dodged the thrown punch just barely, raising his own fists. "You know, I'm surprised to see you going to such lengths," he said calmly, swinging a punch of his own but doing so deliberately slowly. His intention wasn't to hurt this guy. Now if only Ludwig's intention was the same, because if Arthur wasn't careful he'd end up with an entirely new face.
"This is none of your business. Leave Feliciano alone, he's done nothing!" He aimed a kick at Arthur's shin but he just about managed to jump out of the way.
"Actually, he's done something terrible." Arthur began laughing, "Because it turns out your dear friend is a dirty little faggot." He cringed when he said the word, never being a fan of it, but he didn't have time to lament his compromised morals when his opponent actually landed a hit on his right side. Damn that hurt like a bitch!
"What are you talking about?" Ludwig growled, then turning to the shop, "Feliciano, hang on!"
"Oi, dumbass, why do you think your name was the one he was calling earlier?" Arthur asked, taking advantage of the momentary distraction to push Ludwig up against the antique shop's wall, staring at him intently. "It's because you're meant to swoop in and save him and carry him off romantically into the sunset."
"Was?" Ludwig asked, too confused to push back at the moment.
"He loves you, idiot. He wants to be gay with you. Can you imagine that? The little fag is in love with you, his best friend. Now isn't that just disgusting?" Arthur paid close attention to the answer and hoped he'd gotten Ludwig close enough to the window for Feliciano to hear whatever was said with crystal clarity. Ludwig was panicked: Feliciano was in trouble. He also feared for both their safeties. If he was going to get hurt, then may as well tell the truth, right? There was nothing to lose.
"Don't use that word," Ludwig glared, pushing hard and practically slamming Arthur against the brick wall. Oh well that was fine, it's not like Arthur needed all the bones in his back to remain unbroken… "The only disgusting thing around here is you, picking on him for something like that!"
"But it's sick and wrong," Arthur countered, "Don't you feel utterly repulsed just knowing about the way he thinks about you?"
"That doesn't matter! Feliciano is important to me and I'll accept him no matter what so let him go, Blödes Arschloch!"
Almost there, Arthur thought, "You'll accept him 'no matter what'? Knowing everything?"
Ludwig raised his fist once more and it was hard not to feel terrified when he had a clear hit at such close range. "He is very dear to me, and I'll accept him and his feelings!" The fist began to descend but thankfully Feli realised that now was the time to intervene without even having to wait for Arthur's signal.
"Stop!" he yelled, running out of the shop. His face was an absolute mess of emotion, as if he was still processing everything. Ludwig stalled, looking over at the Italian dumbly, not quite knowing what to do. Arthur breathed a sigh of relief.
"You heard all that, right Feliciano? Ludwig accepts your feelings." He pushed past the German who was no longer applying any pressure, rubbing his sore back and wincing at a particularly tender part. The shit he did for love. "You meant it, right?" he asked, looking to Ludwig, "People don't usually lie in that sort of situation."
"Is it true?" Feliciano asked quietly, looking up shyly at Ludwig, who looked as though he had just about finished piecing everything together. A red hue began to rise in his cheeks.
"Well, I mean…" His arms dropped to his sides uselessly. "J-Ja… I guess I meant it," he admitted. Feliciano's face broke into the brightest smile Arthur had ever seen.
"I'll leave you two to sort things out," he said, heading into the shop and deliberately hamming his injury up. "I'm gonna need a bloody walking-stick now. Could've gone easy in a fake fight," he muttered. Still, Farley was there to greet him as he stepped inside and the two of them headed to the till, waiting for Ludwig and Feliciano to come to some sort of decision about where to go from here. Because nothing kick-started a romance like a fake kidnapping and brutal fistfight.
Before too long the two of them were being ushered into the shop by a Rome who looked far too pleased with himself. "Come in, come in!" he was saying happily, "It's rare to see you drop by here, Ludwig," he smiled, rounding the corner and positively grinning when he saw Arthur sat moodily behind the till, muttering curses about his back. "I brought milkshakes!" he exclaimed, as if expecting Arthur to join in with Feliciano's happy cheering.
"Did you get caramel?" Feli was asking, eyeing up the milkshakes curiously.
"But of course~" Rome hummed, handing one of them over to his grandson with a flourish. "I'm sorry Ludwig, had I known you were coming I'd have gotten you one as well," he said, biting his lip.
"That's quite all right," Ludwig insisted, but Feliciano grabbed one of the spare straws Rome was carrying and stuck it into his own milkshake.
"You can share with me," he said a little shyly, but he certainly had that sparkle back that Rome had talked so endlessly about. Ludwig coughed and looked at the drink awkwardly, but it was obvious that he was going to take a sip if only to please the Italian.
"You seem to be feeling better," Rome observed, "Do you still want to talk about your problem?"
Feli shook his head, leaning casually against Ludwig who looked so uncomfortably awkward that Arthur would have laughed if he wasn't afraid the action would cause his vertebrae to collapse. "Arthur helped me with it," he grinned, waving at Arthur even though he was only a few metres away.
"He did, huh?" Rome asked, looking over at Arthur and raising an eyebrow. "You've been in two fights," he said immediately. Again, it was just a casual commentary on Arthur's day, but how did the man even know the number? Maybe Rome was his stalker…
"So?" the Brit asked, looking off to the side.
"Nothing… I got you a milkshake," he smiled, holding out one of the cups.
"Don't want one," Arthur sulked.
"It's chocolate~" Rome said, grinning when he saw Arthur look over at him trying not to look too curious.
"…Fine," he said, grabbing the drink and taking a heavenly sip. If chocolate therapy could help Liz get through her own body laying an egg and ripping down the walls of her uterus then it should be able to help Arthur get through his back pains.
"Arthur?" Feli asked, coming over to him. "Grazie. Grazie for everything," he smiled. "You may act scary, but you're actually really nice!"
Arthur blinked and scratched the back of his neck. "I wouldn't say that…" he mumbled before shaking his head. "Just don't tell anyone, okay? Kinda got a reputation to keep up."
Feli giggled but promised not to tell, and Ludwig at least had the decency to look at him somewhat apologetically.
"About before," he began, but Arthur cut him off.
"I get it. He means a lot to you." The German flushed a little and Arthur chuckled, "So I don't blame you that much. I wish both of you luck," he said honestly.
"Ve~ You're kinda like a violent Cupid," Feli mused, causing Rome to slide on in to the conversation.
"Ah, Cupid!" he said dramatically, talking in a reminiscent manner that suggested that he actually knew the God of Love personally, "Darling son of the beauteous Venus and noble Vulcan! Did you know—"
And so while Rome began to prattle on happily about Roman mythology, Arthur took odd sips of his drink and felt this warm feeling inside. He had accomplished something truly worthwhile. It was there, clearly displayed on the faces of Ludwig and Feliciano. And as they left the shop later that day, hand-in-hand, Arthur came to the startling realisation that this whole 'helping others out' gig was actually something he… enjoyed.
Perhaps he'd have to thank Golden Boy for forcing him into DDIY after all.
x~x~x~x~x
Shout out to Aabluedragon who correctly guessed that Arthur would have a 'guy problem' in the morning XD Ah it's good to be back writing for Hetalia~ Drop a review if you'd like, I love reading them all ^_^
Next Time: Our stalker is finally revealed, and they know Alice's secret... What will come of it all? And... wait, Alfred and Alice are at the park together?! Is it a date, or just a horrible coincidence? Find out pretty soon because I ain't leaving this fandom again for a long time :P
xx-animeXalchemist-xx