"Wakie, Wakie sleep head!" an annoying voice pestered my dreams.
"Go away." I muttered into my sot pillow, hearing a soft chuckle before feeling the freezing air hit my skin.
"Jesus Christ!" I shouted, shooting up immediately sitting up and scolding who took my warmth away.
"Rose, seriously!" she laughed at me, clutching her stomach like it hurt. Tears were running down her face.
"O-oh my g-god, your face was p-priceless!" she stuttered through her laughter.
"Yea, ha, ha, so funny. Can you knock it off and give me back my blanket!" I shouted frustrated.
"Someone sounds like they woke up on the wrong side of the tent." Jasper said, poking his head into the tent. I just glared at him.
"Do you want me to punch you in the face?" I threatened. He just chuckled and patted Rose's back while she was still laughing. I looked at her like she was fucked.
"You wouldn't damage this beautiful face. You love it to much." Jasper said, smirking at me. I just glared at him more.
"Are you willing to test that?" I said evilly. His smirk faltered for a quick second before he composed himself.
"Your never this grumpy when I sleep over at your house in the morning." he said, Rose looked at us confused. Yes, that's right, no one knew Jasper always slept over at my house, except, him, myself and my dad.
"We're not usually in the middle of a forest, and in the fucking cold." I snapped back.
"Guy hurry up, we want to go!" I heard Emmett yell outside the tent.
"I think someone misses there mommy." Jasper said.
"I heard that, asshole!" Emmett shouted back, causing all of us to crack up laughing.
"How did, Edward, you and Alice manage to get out of the tent without waking me up?" I asked kind of curious.
"Are you serious. You sleep like the dead Bella!" Jasper joked. Which caused me to punch his shoulder playfully.
"Where are they?" I asked, he seemed kind of annoyed but answered me anyways.
"Alice went for a walk, and Edward is by the fire." he said with no emotion is his tone. I gave him a questioning look but he just looked away.
"Yea, so get your ass out so we can pack this shit up so we can leave!" Rose said, making her way out of the tent leaving Jasper and I alone.
Once she was gone Jasper looked at me with a evil glint in his eyes.
"What?" I laughed. He shrugged his shoulders.
"How'd you sleep last night?" he asked, dropping what ever it was that made him have that look.
"Good. You?" I lied. To be honest I kept waking up, and looking over at him and Alice sleeping together wishing it was me in his arms and not her.
"Fine." he said shrugging his shoulders. "Missed your bed though." he added giving me a wink. I laughed at him, and added a 'me too.'
"Can I ask you something?" He asked me after a couple minutes a comfortable silence. I nodded and waited for him to ask whatever he was going to ask. For some reason, it made my heart speed up, which was ridiculous I thought, he's only asking me a damn question.
"Have you and Edward had sex yet?" he asked not looking me in my face. I burst out laughing, and he looked at me slightly confused and hurt. I kept laughing and he waited slightly annoyed, and after a few minutes I composed myself and looked him straight in the face.
"Edward is very old-fashion, he's waiting till marriage." I said, laughing at Jasper when he started to blush.
"Why the sudden question?" I asked amused.
"I don't know, since you knew Alice and I already… you know. I just thought it was air I knew you and Edward were." he said, not looking me at my face.
"Your funny." I said, pushing him slightly, still laughing and then was soon joined with Jasper.
"Do you plan on marrying him?" he asked.
"No, I don't really like that, I like him sure, he's attractive, and a great kisser, but I don't love him and I don't think I could ever." I said seriously.
"Why not?" Jasper asked confused. This made me look away from him, not wanting him to see my face. Because I love you, I wanted to tell him. I wanted to shout it, and tell the world that I loved my best friend, that I loved Jasper Whitlock, but I had to keep it to myself, or else it would ruin our friendship.
"We just don't much in common I guess." I shrugged.
"What about you and Alice? Do you plan on marrying her when your older?" I asked, still not looking him in the face. I could see in the corner of my eye he did the same thing I did and look away from me. He didn't answer for a minute.
Just sat there and processed my words.
"I don't know." he answered finally. The familiar painful pull of my heart when he answered made me want to cry. But I had to keep it together.
"Do you love her?" I added after a couple more minutes.
"I don't know." he answered. I nodded my head, still not looking at him.
"Why are we even talking about this? I mean who knows what's going to happen in the future right?" he said, trying to lighten the mood. I looked at him and gave him a sad smile.
"I guess your right." He traced his finger along my bottom lip, watching as the parted, his eyes starring at them.
"Jasper! Bella! Come on and pack the tent so we can go!" Emmett shouted, causing Jasper to snap his hand back to his side leaving my lips feeling colder then the rest of my body at the loss of his body heat.
"Ok!" he shouted back, looking at me. He then gave me a smirk and handed me his hand helping me out of the tent.
We packed up the rest of our things and put them in the car, followed by everyone else getting in and driving back home., but I couldn't help but notice the little glares Alice would send me every now and then. The ride back seemed shorter then the ride to the forest, but still felt like forever. We sang songs on the radio, and took turns driving and napping. Emmett dropped everyone off at home, except dropped Jasper and I at my house.
Both of us went up to my bedroom and passed out from exhaustion with his arm wrapped around me, just like it always was.
The next day was a school day. Jasper and I got dressed and did our daily routine. Get ready, go downstairs, have break-fast with my dad. Then I would drive Jasper and I to school.
Once I parked he gave me a quick peck on my cheek and left to go towards his first period class. I gave a slight sigh, and made my way towards my locker then my class.
Today was a pretty boring day, nothing exciting was happening like unusual, until fourth period came around.
I was walking to my class, minding my own business, until someone knocked into me, causing me to fall to the ground, my books flying everywhere. I looked up and saw Alice smirking at me from above me, and she looked pissed.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I shouted, leaning over to get my book but she kicked it away, I gave her my death glare that always sent shivers down peoples back and I got that satisfying feeling when I saw that it had worked and she faltered slightly, but getting composed herself. Slowly, I got up still glaring at her, and her glaring at me.
"You are what's the matter with me, slut!" she shouted, everyone stopped and were now watching us.
"What did you just call me?" I said slowly. Pretending I didn't hear her right.
"You heard me, I called you a slut." she defended, standing up straighter trying to make herself seem taller, we were almost the same height, but when she stood up straighter, she was taller then me only by a little.
"Oh this is rich." I laughed.
"Isn't it like calling the kettle black. Last time I checked you were the one throwing yourself at my best friend!" I laughed at her. This seemed to make her more angry.
"You know I only put up with you because you were Jasper's best friend, because he cares or you, and you for him. That was until I saw you two fucking each other this weekend when we went camping!" she shouted. My mouth hung open in disbelief.
"What?" I asked confused. My mind going crazy.
"Yea, that's right. I saw you fucking my boyfriend." she said slowly, making me process her words.
"I knew you guys had, had sex before with other, but I thought it was some kind of best friend thing that you both promised each other. I thought of you as my friend, and you go and sleep with him!" she shouted furiously.
"Please, you were never my friend, or I yours." I scuffed.
"Jasper and I are best friends, so what we slept with each other, it just happens okay, its nothing. He cares about me, and I care about him. He can trust me, and I can trust him." I said, crossing my arms across my chest. I could see Rose and Emmett at the back of the hall trying to see what was going on. Both holding hands and trying to see over all the people.
"Oh really, that's funny considering the things Jasper has told me." she said, snapping my attention back to her.
"What?" she was smirking now, looking all mighty like she had caught me.
"You didn't think that Jasper really care about you? He's told me a whole bunch of things about you."
"Your bluffing." I said, uncertain. Which caused her to smirk even bigger if it was even possible.
"Oh really. So when you were in grade nine you didn't get completely smashed and gave five guys head." she said, turning to everyone shouting, "Five guys!"
My mouth hung open, and my heart broke in two. Jasper knew what really happened, he knew that I didn't mean to do it.
"Or how about the time in grade ten when you went to him crying because you thought you were ugly and worthless." she said laughing. Walking around me, like she was a lion and I was her prey. People were now gathered around us. I could see Emmett and Rose trying to get to us, Emmett had his cell out probably texting Jas-…Him. I couldn't even think of his name it hurt to much.
"Oh! What about when you were ten, and your mom walked out on you and your dad, because she thought you two were both pathetic." she shouted louder.
"She must really hate you, I mean having a slut for a daughter, no wonder why she dis-owned you."
I flinched at her words, believing every single one.
"Jasper told me he thought you were pathetic. He laughed saying that he only slept with you because he pitied you and to shut you up from whining about why the world hates you, and why mommy doesnt love you. He felt bad for you." she said tauntingly. My heart broke with every word.
I then felt a sting at the left side of my face where she had slapped me. No one made a sound, no one dared to move. I could feel the blood in my mouth causing me to spit the red blood out, hearing a couple intakes of breath from people.
She leaned closer towards me with a wicked smirk on her face.
"He told me, that he never liked you, and thought you were trash." she said through clenched teeth.
I looked up at her, seeing nothing but red. Next thing I knew my fist was raised, and then was being swung towards her face, making contact with her nose, hearing a satisfying crunch and shriek coming from her. But that wasn't enough, I then pushed her to the ground, her arms were holding me back, I leaned down making our foreheads hit each other, I couldn't feel anything because of my adrenaline rush, but I could hear her moan in pain, her grip slightly loosing, I raised my fist ready to punch her again but I felt someone grab my wrist yanking me away from her.
"No, let me finish her!" I shouted against whoever was holding me. They now had both my arms at my sides, as I watched people lean move back as Edward leant over Alice cleaning the blood off of her. I watched as she stood and charged for me, I then elbowed whoever was holding me and ran at her too.
She grabbed my hair, but I punched her in the shoulder making her let go, I then punched the side of her face, when the same person grabbed my waist pulling me away from her who was being held back by Edward.
"Let me go!" I shouted, trying to hit whoever was holding me, but the held me even tighter. I saw Rose and Emmett now, Rose with tears in her eyes, and Emmett checking out Alice's face, and then coming to walk over to sooth me.
"Bella you have to settle down." he said, put I kicked out at him warning him to get away from me.
"Oh come on Alice, you're the one who wanted this. So come at me!" I taunted.
"Bella stop!" the person who was holding me shouted in my ear. The voice made me stop what I was doing and freeze.
Out of all the people here, he had to be the one holding me.
"Let. Go. Of. Me." I said dangerously. I wanted to rip his face off. I wanted to hurt him and his little slut so bad.
"No." he said firmly.
"Wrong answer." I said, before flinging my head back, making contact with his forehead. He then let go of me and I ran out of his grasp, turning around to launch myself at him, but Emmett came up from behind me and was now holding me back.
"How could you!" I shouted, tears were now falling down my face. I was fighting against Emmett but I no longer saw red. All I saw was Jasper.
"I trusted you!" I cried.
"Bella-" he said taking a step towards me, but I flinched back at his action, causing Emmett to hold me tighter.
"No!" I shouted as loud as I could, everyone as silent as they were before, I noticed Alice wasn't here anymore, Edward and Rose must have taken her to the nurses office.
"Please, let me explain." he said sounding broken. I just scuffed at him, glaring at him through my tears.
"Explain? Explain what! How you told that fucking slut my secrets! Things I confided in you about, because I thought you cared about me!" I shouted furiously.
"I do care about you Bella!" he shouted back, and that made me snap.
"BULL SHIT!"
Everyone flinched at my shriek, including Emmett. I watched as Jasper took a step back at how intense my voice was.
We stayed quite for a few minutes. All you could hear was my heavy breathing, and I'm sure you could hear my heart pounding like crazy. I then took a huge breath and closed my eyes, not wanting to look at him.
"Did you have a good laugh Jasper? About all my insecurities, my problems, my regrets?" I asked. I didn't get an answered so I opened my eyes, firing burning in them
"Did you!" I shouted.
"Why would you ever think that?" he asked hurt.
"Your seriously asking me that?" I asked like I didn't believe him.
"I don't know what Alice has told you-" he said but I cut him off.
"She told me everything!" I snapped. He looked like he was about to cry. Like this wasn't happening. I didn't want this to be happening.
"Just Bella, please. Let me explain." he pleaded, he begged taking a few steps towards me, I flinched back into Emmett again, like every step he took towards me burned. He seemed hurt by my actions., he looked broken.
"Don't do that please." he said, his voice cracking with sorrow.
"Don't want, don't pretend that whenever you look at me it doesn't hurt. That every time you come near me it feel likes I'm being electrocuted. That every time you speak it doesn't break my heart, because it does!" I sobbed, I felt Emmett's arms tighten around me like he was hugging me, and he was. He was comforting me, but I didn't want that. All I wanted was to get out of here.
"Emmett let me go." I cried. He nodded and let me go, and once his arms let me go I felt naked. Bare. Exposed. I wrapped my arms around my body trying to hide myself but knew it wasn't working. I just wanted to disappear and never be found. I looked down at the ground, wiping away the few tears, but it was useless, because then more tears would just fall.
"Your stuff will be at the end of my drive-way and you can pick it up at the end of school." I said, my voice sounding dead.
"Please Bella, can we talk about this somewhere more private." he pleas. But I looked at him like he was a monster, and in my eyes he was.
"What for Jasper? Your free now, you no longer have to feel sorry for me anymore, you don't have to sleep with me to shut me up anymore, because I won't talk to you anymore, I won't even acknowledge you anymore. Your free! Don't you get it!" I snapped.
"No Bella, that's not what -" he tried to say, but I shook my head and ran.
Because that's all I could do, was run.
I can't really explain what I am feeling at the moment. Numb? Broken? No.
I felt dead.