Shana: Hello everyone and welcome to the sixth chapter of this story. We'd like to thank all the readers and reviewers for supporting us.
Yuji: I am sure you're all expecting xxxDreamingflowerxxx to be here, but she's a bit busy today.
*inside a closet* Me: GET ME OUT OF HERE OR YOU'LL REGRET IT!
Sariei no Hebi: That's why where here to welcome the fans. Now Pirsoyn the disclaimer.
Pirsoyn: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shankugan no Shana or else we'd all be in strike and it would take months for you guys to watch the anime.
Chapter 6: Prison break a la Flame Haze
Satou's POV
"So this is Tokyo's Outlaw?" I was standing in front of a big building, it looked more like a company building, but I guess that's because Outlaw needs to be kept hidden.
"I hope I'll get help here. I am tired of hiding from public, while everyone makes fun of me and even my friends are suffering from it."
I entered to building and got greeted by a man with blonde hair and a white suit.
"Welcome to Tokyo Outlaw, I am the Gaiku no Kaete Ernest Flieder, the contractor of Ouka no Gigei, Brigid." He pointed at a red rose that he was wearing.
"We… we're happy to have you. You must be the guy that the Chōshi no Yomite, Margery Daw sent right?"
"… You guys are not going to call me names? Like pee pants guy? Or piss man?"
"*snicker* Why would we call you that? Heheh."
For a moment I thought he was trying to hide his laugher. I must have imagined that.
"Could you please give me your communication tools? For vague reasons we have to confiscate it."
That doesn't sound suspicious to me, that Flieder guy seems to be nice. "Okay take my mobile, my purple glow in the dark sticker and this paper walky talky that I got from Margery-san."
"Thank you, now could you follow me please to this not suspicious chamber?"
"Uhm okay… it looks really big and luxurious. Say do I have to wait here for someone to…"
I suddenly heard the sound of a door slamming behind me and getting locked.
"HAHAHAHA , YOU SUCKER! DID YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT OUTLAW DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU PEEING ACCIDENTLY LOSERRR! BE AN OBIDIENT KID AND STAY THERE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVE OR ELSE YOU'LL HIMULIATE EVERY FLAME HAZE THAT EXISTS. GOSH IF OUR REPUTATION WOULD BE RUINED THIS WOULD BE A GREAT VIDEO FOR YOUTUBE."
"WHAT? No please come back; I am claustrophobic! Don't lock me in here please I am begging you I'll do anything, just get me out of here!"
A few weeks later
"Someone… please… help… me…"
Shana's Pov
I need to get myself together, I need to get myself together, I need to get myself together. I mean Yuji didn't do that because he wanted to hurt me right? He always says how much he loves me, but he overreacts and he takes me to a lot of places… of course I am not allowed to leave his side. He asks if I need something… he never listens when I want him to release me. He does give me a lot of attention to make sure I don't feel lonely, he shows his care and affections and he accepts me for who I am… but he touches me without permission! He makes sure I am not hurt, but since he still doesn't listen to what I want I still got hurt with my 1000 escape attempts.
Yeah I tried to escape again. When Yuji was sleeping, I tried to jump, but for some reason he woke up and caught me. After that he scolded me again for being reckless and dragged me into the room again. Has he got some sixth sense? Even in his sleep I wasn't able to get free from his grip and I don't have anything to amuse myself when I am alone… I am running out of escape ideas.
"Baka, Baka Yuji! Doesn't he know how to tread a woman?"
A: Welcome to Japan Shana, where it's normal to be at that stage with your sweetie at your age. We also shouldn't forget the fact that you two are immortal, so who cares?
"Why do I keep hearing annoying bug noises? *sign* If only I had someone to talk to now."
A: Yeah, cuz now you sound like someone who's gone mad all talking to yourself. Just stay still with the thought that your lovely boyfriend will be back soon to give you more attention. I'm going to have some fun with my 3DS. Bye bye!
"WAIT! Don't go I need someone to talk to don't leave me… alone... -_- Why is it that when I have the opportunity to talk to someone I never grab that change? *Sign* Next time I'll just make a conversation with whoever is available… except for Sydonay and Rofocale."
Satou's POV
"THAT FUCKING OLD HAG! She didn't inform anyone about all the incidents that are happening and she isn't even helping us getting out of this humiliating mess!"
I walked to the door and put my ears against it. "I wonder who that is and what are they talking about."
"Calm down Rebecca, I am sure Sophie Sawallisch has good reasons for that. You shouldn't forget the state Misaki city is now in, after that incident."
"Good reasons? My ass! That old hag only cares for her fucking self. If someone were to die she'd be dancing on his/ her grave! Also, our pride and reputation is more important and some fucking reports about Flame Haze getting killed!"
"Re… Rebecca-chan is right. First we must solve the pee boy's heheheh… problems hahahahha!"
"I guess Brigid is right on this."
What are they talking about? Misaki city is in a total mess? What has happened while I was gone? Did everyone go into hiding because of me? "Oi, can someone tell me what's happening in Misaki city? Was my accident in the train really that humiliating for my friends? Where have they gone to? If Margery-san okay?"
"So Rebecca you have a plan?"
"Of course I have Balar and it starts with this!"
Before I could understand what was happening at the other side of the door I saw a purple blow appearing and suddenly the whole room blew up.
"AAAAAAHHHHH!"
"Are you okay piss bitch? I am sorry for this rude introduction… well actually I am not. I am the Kishaku no Makite, Rebecca Reed and this is the Bisai no Ressei, Balar." She showed me a strange looking bracelet that looked like it had a closed eye.
"Nice to meet you piss kid."
"Is there any possibility that you guys won't make fun of me? I've had it hard enough on my way here."
"No fucking way! This is too funny, the first time in my whole existence that a teenage boy pissed his fucking pants in the train. This could have been so funny, if we wouldn't be affected by this too. Jeez Wilhelmina what kind a shitty mess have you got yourself into this time?"
"Uhm sorry, but can I…?"
"Oww yeah you want an explanation, well lets go to a cleaner place first."
I was about to grab her hand when suddenly a rock fell on her head.
"OUCH! WHO'S THE BITCH THAT DROPPED A FUCKING ROCK ON ME?"
"That would be the roof."
"So to summarize it; after your depart a nationwide broadcast was aired about your pissing incident, later your fucking Mystes friend appeared and revealed himself as the Sairei no Hebi and Bal Masqué's leader, he kidnapped Nietono no, took the Haridan and flew off to fucking Seireiden. Oh and theChōshi no Yomite went into emo state, because the silver armor that she was hunting after for years turned out to be not real and now her dream to get endless money, getting drunk and horny won't come true."
"This is hard to believe all that happened. I hope Margery-san and Shana-chan are alright."
"I wouldn't worry about the Chōshi no Yomite, according to the report she's been sulking in your house for weeks. But I would worry about Nietono no, her lover seems to be really love-struck. It wouldn't surprise me if he fucked her already a few times and a lot of rumors about them have started to spread."
"Where do those rumors come from?"
"Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and community sites. Seriously those fucking annoying fans like to spread their perverted fantasies to the extreme and talk with other fans about it. I hate that."
"Well at least they don't call me names. Rebecca-san I need to go back to Misaky city."
"No fucking way! The way things are now you'd end up as the new mascot for toilet paper or diapers and I don't want to clean up your fucking mess every time! I need to contact Wilhelmina about this first."
"Uhm Rebecca-san, where do you know Caramel-san from?"
"We were the best prison buddies ever!" She exclaimed with a big smile.
… That does explain why Rebecca curses a lot and her rude behavior, but not Caramel-san's behavior.
I saw her taking a pair of handcuffs, "Rebecca-san what are you doing with…" *click*
"You stay there I don't want you to escape to your fucking town. I'll be right back."
Are all the Flame Haze in the world this selfish and messed up?
Rebecca's POV
"Fucking annoying brat, seriously I fucking hate children. They always have questions can't sit still and the troubles they cause, fuck! This one is very hard to clean."
"Don't complain too much Rebecca, if the pee problem is solved you can help out the Banjō no Shite and our reputation won't be in any danger too. Two birds in one kill."
"I guess your right Balar…"
I stopped walking and stared at the view from the window; "I hope Wilhelmina is doing fine."
*Flashback time *
"TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING BITCH!"
It was another day at the Flame Haze prison and Wilhelmina and I beat up another bunch of sluts. We were known as the unbeatable duo. No one can defeat us hahaha WE'RE THE BOSS!
"Another victory for the unbeatable BITCH DUO!"
"It's was a great victory. –De arimasu."
"1 hit K.O."
"You know it's getting pretty boring here and the food is fucking bad, it's almost as bad as your cooking Wilhelmina."
"… Thanks for the compliment… –De arimasu."
"Insult."
"You're welcome; now let's get out of here in prison break style! God I love that show it's fucking awesome!"
So a few minutes later we blew up the whole prison, killing everyone else in result.
"That wasn't in prison break stile. –De arimasu."
"Immediate kill."
"Hehe I know, but I love blowing up things and I want to use violence. Now if we stay longer that old hag of a bitch will notice what we did and I don't want to listen hours to her insults. So let's get out of this fucking place."
Thinking about those times makes me so happy. "Hehe that was fucking awesome."
Wilhelmina's POV
Again more letters. –De arimasu.
"More and more Flame Haze are getting attacked by Bal Masqué and we still have no news about taking action. –De arimasuka.
"Big disappointment."
These letters are from… the Shin'i no Yuite. –De arimasu.
Dear Banjō no Shite,
Bal Masqué is operating more and more out of the shadow and are starting to take more threatening actions, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO SINCE THE LAST COUPLE OF LETTERS! ARE YOUR TROUBLES REALLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY PEACE AND FREE TIME? FORGET THAT SLUTTY USELESS GRANDDAUGHTER OF MINE. I AM SURE SHE"S FINE AND HAS ENOUGH FUN WHILE GETTING FUCKED BY HER SHITTY BOYFRIEND! YOU'RE SO USELESS, GO AND GET YOUR LAZY ASS FROM THAT SEAT AND DO SOMETHING USEFULL, BITCH!...
I threw the letter away. –De arimasu.
"Again she sends me shit. –De arimasuka"
"Repetitive trash."
Sophie's POV
"YOU BUNCH OF FUCKING IDIOTS! WHAT DID I TELL YOU? SERIOUSLY YOU EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU? HOW USELES ARE YOU OR IS YOUR AGE GETTING TO YOU SAMUEL DEMANTIUS?"
Oh, look who we have here, the useless fans who, don't have anything better to do in their live but read some shitty story written by a fan that has nothing else to do.
A: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU OLD HAG!
Well if you want to know what I am doing giving the useless Flame Haze and his lovely Guze no Ou a lecture. They are the Saikyō no Morite Samuel Demantius and the Gōrin no Taijun, Zirnitra, who takes the form of a gay ass Tábor.
"SERIOUSLY YOU OLD NUT! YOU'RE EVEN LESS USEFULL THAN THAT 6 YEAR OLD THING! THE ONLY THING YOUR GOOD AT IS COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR AGE! NOW DO AS I SAY OR I'LL CUT OFF YOUR BALLS AND TRANSFORM YOU INTO A TRANSVESTITE!"
"But… but Sophie Sawallisch-sama what about Bal Masqué?"
"I guess you're right sooner or later I have to go and destroy their happiness. Take that you fucking Sairei no Hebi! NOW OLD NUT, PREPARE THE TROUPS FOR A WAR AND IF THEY REFUSE THEN TELL THEM I'LL SELL THEM TO A PIMP!"
"Wait Bal Masqué's leader has returned? Why has no one been informed?"
"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSSINESS. NOW GO!"
"Yes madam."
I heard those two starting to cry the minute they left the room. HAHAHA serves them right!
Rebecca's POV
"As you can see its worse in Misaki city and Tokyo, but some other cities like; Fukushima, Yokohama and Osaka aren't that far behind either. "Flieder pointed out.
"S… so the radio activity in Fukishima is finally solved?" Brigid asked.
"Well the Shin'i no Yuite,Sophie Sawallisch made a big mess out of it." Balar said.
"How come people label Bal Masqué as dangerous, but let a fucking old Flame Haze like the Shin'i no Yuite walk free on the earth?"
"I guess that's because everyone is afraid of her, Rebecca."
"You remember the Twin tower incident, the WWI and WWII?"
"Yeah, she was really terrible; she was just staring at the misery and laughed like some sadist."
"I think she's worse than that… Hitler got the blame, and he only was a guy who went to live in japan to make his dream come true; to become a teacher in Japan and that became his family tradition. (1)"
"Now back to the pee problem, I'd say we'll use violence to solve it; if people keep laughing about it we'll blow their fucking heads up!"
"I think we should spam the internet."
"Rebecca, Balar; those ideas are… not really appropriate. Brigid do you have an idea?"
"Eh ma… maybe we should use an internet virus."
"That's what I call a good idea. Now that that's been taken care off, how should we handle Bal Masqué?"
"That… That's Sophie's problem to solve. She… She never does a damn thing always letting others do her work and insults people."
"That may be true, but we can't do a thing about it or we'll end up killing ourselves, like the last Flame Haze who dared to talk back to her."
"We'll need the Banjō no Shite for this, that's why Rebecca we need… wait what are you…? Please, no flash back. We had enough with one…
*Yaay another flashback*
"Take that. –De arimasu. Now gimme your snacks. –De arimasuka"
"Confisticated."
"Whaaaaha, my snacks! Mommy!"
"Seriously these people are fucking losers don't you agree Wilhelmina?"
"Indeed. –De arimasu."
"Complete agreement."
"So what did you get now? Oh Snickers, Mars, M&M's, gummies, gum ohh and is that a Burger king ticket?"
"If we get out of here we can use it. –De arimasu."
"Girls night out."
"That would be fucking great hahahahaha."
"Okay enough shitty chat, it's time for action!"
I blew up the fucking building again, gosh I love doing that. I went to get the piss guy and found him almost killed under the debris.
"I am still not sorry for doing that. Now let's go we have a train to catch. Ouch!" I hate those fucking rocks; "Who the fuck dropped those rocks this time?"
"That'd be the building again."
"Yaaaay I am so happy to be rid of that boring shit finally some fresh air and let's go piss kid and fix that problem or yours."
Sophie's POV
"THAT FUCKING USELESS PRISON BITCH! HOW DARE SHE LEAVE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION TO GO AND SAVE THAT SLUT OF A GRANDAUGHTER OF MINE! THE NERVE SHE HAS, SHE'S SO GOING TO PAY WHEN SHE GET'S BACK! AND WHY DIDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING TO STOP HER? YOU BUMB BLOND PIMP PLAYER! YOU COULD HAVE RAPED HER! OR GIVE HER ANYOTHER MENTAL TRAUMA! SERIOUS DO I REALLY HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU BUNCH OF MUTADED KILLING MACHINE ALIENS! GOSH YOU WOULD BE MORE USEFULL IF YOU ALL JUST GO TO HELL! EVEN YOUR GUZE NO OU DIDN'T TRY TO DO ANYTHING! OWW, WELL ONCE A USELESS TIMID HOOKER ALWAYS A USELESS TIMID HOOKER!
"But, but we tried to stop…"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH! ARE YOU THE BOSS HERE NOOO! NOW LEAVE AND FIND SOME SILENT PLACE TO FUCK YOURSELF OR EACHOTHER! EVEN CRYING IN A CORNER IS FINE!"
"Ta… Takemikazuchi-san do… don't you ha… have anything to sa… say?"
"I am sorry Brigid, but with these kinds of conversations I prefer to stay out of it, just to evade more trouble."
A: *Coughscaredycatcough*
"SHUT UP U USELESS BITCH!" Hmm I guess I have to take things in my own matter. I have to join the war to make sure every fucking Tomogara gets killed and for Bal Masqué to be annihilated forever. "HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Satou's POV
Well now thanks to Rebecca-san my pee humiliation will be over, finally!
"Thanks a lot for helping me Rebecca-san."
"No need to thank me, I didn't do it for you, but for Wilhelmina. Oh and take these fucking letters that Wilhelmina send me. You'll get a better explanation about the shitty condition Misaki city is in. I have here the goods that the Chōshi no Yomite wanted you to bring."
"Huh?"
"I saw the fucking list she gave you, well you know how she is and it's not smart to come back empty handed don't ya think? Okay this is where we part ways; I can't wait to see in what shitty condition Nietono no is in. I wonder if she went insane, because of her love obsessed lover. Bye bye."
"Yeah goodbye." I faced the train station, so it's finally time to go home."
Sophie's POV
"I HATE EVERYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD! WHY ISN'T EVERYTHING GOING ACCORDING TO MY PLAN? THE LAST WAR AT LEAST WENT MY WAY MOST OF THE TIME! I GUESS I HAVE NO CHOICE AND SEND THAT THING!"
"You mean the Gisō no Karite? I didn't know you'd become kind and sent help to them."
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, TAKEMIKAZUCHI? I AM SICK OF BABYSITTING THAT THING! IF I SHOVE MY PROBLEMS TO THAT SLUTTY MAID, I'D FINALLY HAVE MY PEACE!"
Futsu no Raiken, Takemikazichi is the Guze no Ou I made a contract with, much more useful that that other bunch of bastards. I am wearing him on my head as a hat that useless nuns wear.
"Of course you would."
"HAHAHAHAHAHA, TAKE THAT YOU SLUTTY BITCHES!"
Wilhelmina's POV
"Another POV. –De arimasu."
"Happy moment."
I heard my phone ringing, I wonder who it is. –De arimasu.
" –De arimasuka?"
"Yooo Wilhelmina, long time not spoken. How have you been? "
"Fine, -De arumasu. What's the reason for calling me? –De arimasuka."
"It's time to rock like in the old times! Bitching around and save Nietono no, even though I am sure she has it better there, than we have here with the old bitch."
"I assume so. –De arimasu. I'll meet you at the usual spot. –De arimasuka."
"Another letter from the Shin'i no Yuite. –De arimasu…"
"What does she want now? –De arimasen."
"Annoying bug."
Dear slutty maid,
I want to inform you that I've send that thing to your rescue party, be sure to take good care of it… actually I wouldn't mind if it died. As long as I'm rid of it. GOOD LUCK SUCKERSSSSSSSSSS!
… I really hate her. –De arimasu."
"Despicable person."
Shana's POV
Nothing is better than taking a bath to relax my body and mind. I just wish I could relax… everything is still replaying in my mind… babies… are made… after doing that… AAGGGHHH If I knew that I'd never ask someone about it!
"Okay Shana, try to clear your mind maybe the author was just teasing me, since that's the only thing she's been doing apart from writing this. Plus I guess it's better than having to read letter from my mean grandma. I even evaded the humiliation; I'd get after Satou's peeing incident. Yuji saved me from those terrible things… even though he isn't aware of that. He wasn't the only one he showed me that…
*Wow 3 flashbacks in one chapter a new record guys! Time to celebrate :D*
"Oi have you been listening to me?"
I turned my head to Shiro; "yes I did, melon pan is your friend and your food, video games are good for your soul, according to Alastor and the most beautiful woman is White from Pokémon Special manga. White is the prettiest thing there exist, when you go to a funeral you have to wear white, when you buy flowers they have to be white or they'll suck your soul. White is the thing you have to love. (2)"
"Excellent, do you have any questions?"
"Yes, why are you wearing a tiara? Aren't you supposed to be a guy?"
"That has nothing to do with white, so there's no need in answering that."
I got out of the bathtub and looked at the mirror, I still don't know why he wears a tiara… maybe I should ask Yuji why some guys wear a tiara.
A: If you keep standing there you'd make a good view for Yuji hohoho.
"URUSAI, URUSAI, URUSAI!"
I suddenly heard an explosion outside the bathroom. I wonder what happened. I got a bathrobe and went into the bedroom. To my surprise I saw Itadaki no Kura; Hecate and the room in a total mess.
She looked and me and glared; "YOU ATE MY FAVOURITE DESERT!"
-_- "Heh?"
(1) In season 1 of the anime, one of Yuji and Shana's teachers looked like Hitler.
(2) Shiro means white in Japanese so I guess you understand the joke now.
Sairei no Hebi: Where does she get all this inspiration from?
Margery: I have no idea even I wouldn't be able to drink so much beer in such a short time
Wilhelmina: We hope you liked this chapter. –De arimasu.
Me: Reshiram use Blue Flare! *Closet breaks open*
Sairei no Hebi: What?
Me: HAHAHA don't underestimate my level 100 Reshiram it can crush anything that gets in its way now prepare for the divine punishment!
Shana: But we're Flame Haze and Tomogara. There even gods among us.
Me: Really? But Reshiram is a deity.
Yuji: But we're with more.
Me: In that case Arceus Judgement! Reshiram Blue Flare again! Take the punishment of the creator of the Pokémon and another deity. No one messes with the author of this story!
Pirsoyn: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Me: Till next time my lovely readers and reviewers. If you don't review I'll send my Pokémon after you and every other weapon I have!