"Hello~" Vector sang as he skipped over to the Gryffindor table to eat breakfast. It had been three weeks since the term had started and everyone in Gryffindor had come to expect Vector to eat at the Gryffindor table for at least one meal per day instead of the Slytherin table. They had also come to like him a lot since he always pranked the other Slytherins and purposely tried to lose Slytherin points. "They're so going to kill me!"
"What'd you do this time, Vector?" Fred asked as he and George leaned forward in excitement.
"You'll see~ but this one is a stroke of genius on my part!" Vector giggled.
"Oooohhh!" Fred and George chorused and the rest of Gryffindor looked at Vector expectantly. They had learned Vector wouldn't call his pranks brilliant unless they were really, really good. Or bad depending on your perspective.
"You are going to get expelled someday." Hermione sighed.
"I don't care if I do and I won't since Dumbledore won't let me get kicked out!" Vector cheered.
"Yes, but you do have detention for the rest of the year." Ron pointed out.
"Not yet I don't, apparently they can't give me detention past Christmas break. It's in the rules." Vector shrugged.
"If it was, would you have had detention for the rest of the year?" George asked.
"Assuming they could also give me detention for the next school year, I'd have detention for the next FIVE years." Vector cackled.
"You really are 100% Slytherin." Ron shook his head.
"Tell us something we don't know." Misael muttered as he took a sip of tea.
A loud chorus of screams was heard from the Slytherin dorm. "Looks like the sleeping gas wore off. They're going to freaking murder me~" Vector rolled on the floor giggling. He used sleeping gas so none of the Slytherins woke up while he was pulling a nighttime prank on them.
A whole lot of incredibly livid Slytherins appeared. The thing was... they were all covered in warts and their arms had been turned into tentacles. Vector winked. "Let's see if they've figured out everything I've done to them~ Hint, the second any one of them talks, you'll know."
"You'll pay for this Vector!" Draco yelled, but his voice sounded like a five-year old girl's. The other Slytherins tried their voices but all the boys sounded like little girls and all the girls sounded like the Hulk.
"VECTOR SHINGETSU!" Snape yelled. Most of the school cowered from him but Vector kept on laughing.
Dumbledore strode into the hall. "I request Dumon Knight, Misael Dragon, Alit Gladiator, Gilag Samurai, and Vector Shingetsu to come to my office immediately."
"I have business with Mr. Shingetsu." Snape snarled.
Dumbledore looked at the Slytherins. "I do not believe you will be able to punish him any more than he already has been."
"Oh yeah! Worst kid in school, suckers!" Vector cheered.
"THAT'S NOT SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF!" Snape screamed.
"We've been trying to tell him that for years." Misael snorted.
"We've also been trying to tell him slaughtering small animals isn't okay either." Alit chimed in.
"Alit, too much information." Dumon rebuked.
"Oh, sorry." Alit said sheepishly.
"Well. You heard the headmaster. In his office." Snape looked positively livid as he choked those words out.
"See ya, Slitherus Snipe~" Vector giggled as he skipped after the other emperors and Dumbledore. Snape looked like he was about to start screaming curses. Dumon sighed; Vector could make Gandhi want to commit first-degree murder.
Dumbledore led the five barians into his office and motioned at five chairs, which they sat down in. "Lemon drop?" Dumbledore offered. Alit, Gilag, and Dumon took each took one but Misael and Vector didn't. Dumbledore smiled, "Word through the grapevine is you've all had a very... interesting first few weeks."
Dumon sighed. "Professor Dumbledore, sir, if this is about Vector, I will try harder to keep a better watch over him, but understand that it is very difficult to even have the slightest semblance of control over him. If this is about us having issues with Umbridge, every student detests her and, I normally don't say this but, she deserves whatever disrespect we have shown towards her. Even Vector's acid spitballs he has taken to throwing at her."
Dumbledore chuckled. "I can hardly blame you for hating Professor Umbridge. Vector's pranks and rule-breaking are troublesome, but that's not why I called you all here."
Misael frowned. "Then why?"
Dumbledore looked at the barians carefully. "I didn't want to interrogate you when I first met you in that alleyway or on your first day of school, but I have waited long enough and you should all be settled by now."
"You wish to ask us a few questions?" Dumon asked while signaling the others to be quiet and let him handle this.
"Yes. The first and foremost is how did you kill those death-eaters that attacked you?" Dumbledore asked.
"We fought back and killed them in the process." Dumon answered, purposely being vague.
Dumbledore nodded, "I see. And you took to the wizarding world easily, why was that?"
"As I have mentioned at our first encounter, we have had some very odd stuff occur to us. The existence of magic is not the most surprising occurrence that has happened to us." Dumon said.
"What would be the most surprising thing that has happened to you?" Dumbledore asked.
"I have no idea, there are way too many incidents." Dumon answered honestly.
Dumbledore sighed and looked at Dumon over his half-moon glasses. "Mr. Knight, you are obviously hiding something. I need to know, could your secret cause harm to the school or students or do you have an intention of harming anyone here?"
"No, I do not believe any of our secrets could harm anyone here and we have absolutely no intention of hurting anyone at the school. Except possibly Umbridge if she tries to attack us." Dumon answered.
Dumbledore appeared satisfied with this. "One last question before I let you go, is there anything at all you want to tell me?"
Dumon thought before saying, "Just know that there is so much more to us than meets the eye."
Dumbledore nodded. "Alright then. You may go." Dumon smiled and nodded his head to the headmaster and left with the other emperors following behind.
…...
"I like Dumbledore. A lot." Gilag commented as they walked down the halls.
"He does seem to be a kind human." Dumon agreed, "But still, telling him everything would be a mistake."
"He even supported Umby torment! Automatically gets an A+ in my book!" Vector sniggered.
"Hmph. He may seem to be nice but so did Vector when he was pretending to be Rei. Even I fell for that one. Still, between Dumbledore and Umbridge, I choose Dumbledore every freaking time," Misael said.
"Hey! Guys!" the barians turned to see Ron and Harry hurrying to catch up to them. They all slowed down until Harry and Ron caught up. "What did Dumbledore want?" Ron asked.
"None of you business," Misael snapped. Ron looked affronted.
"Misael!" Dumon admonished, "I am very sorry for his lack of manners, however, he was not wrong when saying that it is not your concern or necessary for you to learn what our discussion with Dumbledore was about."
"...I did not understand half the words you just strung together," Ron said.
"It was basically a politer way to rephrase Misael's sentiment." Dumon said, sighing.
"Come on!" Ron complained.
"It was a private conversation. I do not feel the need to disclose it is very great at this moment." Dumon said.
"Alright then," Harry said,(making Ron yell, "Harry!") "It's your business, at least Dumbledore talks to you," he added slightly bitterly.
"What, he doesn't ever talk with you?" Gilag asked.
"He used to," Harry growled with a sulky edge to his voice, "But after last year with his suspicion of Voldemort-" (Ron flinched at the name), "-possessing me, he didn't even look me in the eye. And even now, when he knows Voldemort won't try and possess me, he still hasn't been paying any attention to me. He knows there is a prophecy that states I must be the one to defeat Voldemort-"
"Wait, what?" Misael asked.
"HARRY!" Ron hissed, "Dumbledore said to only tell people you trust!"
"I trust them. Besides, Dumbledore doesn't seem to care about me," Harry said moodily.
"Harry, I'm sure he cares more than you think," Dumon soothed, "But on another note, a prophecy?!"
"Yeah," Harry sighed and, after looking around to make sure no one else was listening in, recited, "The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."
"Back up right the hell now," Misael said, "That has GOT to be bullshit."
"It's true!" Harry said indignantly.
Dumon stepped in, "I believe what Misael means is that he does not believe the prophecy to mean what you seem to think it does. Neither do I, for that matter."
"Hm?" Harry asked.
"Born to those thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies, so your parents defied Voldemort three times and you were born at the end of July?"
"Yes," Harry said slowly.
"Somehow I think your parents defied him more than only three times and plenty of other people must have also met that criteria. Besides, there are multiple calendars, each with a different seventh month. The Mayan calendar, Aztec calendar, Chinese calendar, as you can see, there are multiple calendars therefore multiple 'seventh month's," Dumon explained.
"Well, still, Voldemort believes it and he's already marked me as his equal-"
"Again, the wording is vague. Marking as an equal could also mean treating someone as an equal, calling them an equal, or punishing them in a way that he would punish an equal. So this prophecy could very well mean anyone. I know that you probably want to defeat Voldemort anyway, but what I'm basically saying is you do not have to do it alone. If you want to, you can ask for help and get a lot of people together to gang up on Voldemort," Dumon said.
Harry's eyes widened, "Gang up... on Voldemort?!"
Vector grinned sadistically, "Hell yeah! There's one of Voldewhore and about a million wizards or so. And us, we'll happily help you kick his face into the mud. And then rip out his entrails and carve his face open and-"
Dumon put his hand over Vector's mouth, "We get the point you are attempting to convey."
"So... you're suggesting, when I finally face Voldemort, to get a bunch of people and mob him," Harry said.
"Let's just say I'd love to see how well the Dork Lord fairs against an angry mob of people who all want to kill him at once," Misael said.
Ron's eyes widened, "Did you just called him the DORK Lord?! And did Vector call him Voldewhore a little while back?!"
"THAT'S all you got from that?" Misael scoffed.
"Why are you guys not scared of him?!" Ron cried.
Vector pretended to think, "Let's see, could it be because he's a whiny little sh*t who screams like a b*tch and throws a temper-tantrum every time someone talks back to him? Or maybe it's because he's a deformed, noseless, snake-faced, white freak with a god complex and an overall intellect of a kumquat, you take your pick."
Ron's shivered, "You-Know-Who is going to slaughter you in your sleep."
"Yoo-hoo can go f*ck himself, more than he already probably does, anyway," Misael snorted.
Harry laughed and Ron looked scared, "He's going to kill you! I think he may want to kill you more than Harry!"
Harry was smiling and trying not to burst out into laughter again. "Well, at least I'm not the only one on his hit-list then."
"Yep! Don't worry! We got your back if Voldemort tries to mess with you!" Alit chirped.
"Thanks," Harry said, "I'd feel better if anyone actually believed me about Voldemort coming back."
"Would you stop saying his name?!" Ron hissed, "Just call him You-Know-Who!"
"I personally prefer not to make myself scared of him," Gilag said.
"Huh?" Ron asked.
"It's the single fear every being has: fear of the unknown," Dumon said, "By not saying his name, it makes him seem unknown, hence more terrifying than you already believe him to be. Just say his name, it will be better in the long run." Dumon stated.
Ron blinked in confusion before turning to Alit, "Okay, is it just me, or does he always speak like that?"
Alit shrugged, "He's a genius, the only reason he's not in Ravenclaw is probably because he asked to be put in Gryffindor." Dumon nodded, confirming Alit's theory.
"So the only reason you're in Gryffindor is because you wanted to be in it?" Harry asked, shocked. So he wasn't the only person who had asked to be in a specific house. Chalk that up on the list of things he had in common with the greyette.
"I mostly asked to be in Gryffindor so I could keep an eye on the other three, two at the time I was sorted. I believe many people would prefer it if the school is not blown to bits." Dumon said.
Ron and Harry laughed but Harry had a sneaking suspicion that Dumon was not joking.
…... (^0^) ...
Vector was humming merrily in Herbology later that day. The teachers(after much experimenting, screams of frustration, swears, and a few choice phrases about his lineage) had managed to get the Slytherins back to normal. Shame.
Vector, blissfully ignoring the glares that the other Slytherins were giving him that had the promise of murder, shoved his venomous tentacula into the pot. He had managed to threaten it into becoming docile a few minutes before and it was cowering as it went into the pot.
"How the heck did you do that? Mine's still trying to eat the damned pot." Vector looked across at a Ravenclaw, he believed his name was Terry Boot, who was staring at him while struggling with his own venomous tentacula.
"Easy, just show it who's boss. Right Mr. Rosey?" Vector said, smiling sadistically at his shivering tentacula, who hastily nodded.
"...Mr. Rosey?" Terry asked incredulously.
"I think it suits him well." Vector said.
Terry stared at him for a while, then asked, "If you were face to face with a ten foot tall at the shoulder demonic beast with three eyes, barbed teeth, and sharp horns: what would you name it?"
Vector thought, then beamed, "Monsieur Snickerdoodles."
Terry stared at him for a long time, then, he slowly scooted away from Vector, making the carrot-head smirk. Oh, how he loved this school.