i know i put a trigger warning on the entire story but this chapter should probably have another. Sorry! Thanks!

Stef walked into the living room and saw Taylor was sleeping, but noticed her breathing was strange, as if she was about to have a minor asthma attack. Stef walked over to the couch and sat next to her. Taylor sat up quickly her hands in a fist, ready to defend herself. Her breathing was growing quicker and shorter.

"Hey, love it's just me it's okay." Stef whispered to her daughter holding her fists. "Are you okay? It looks like you're having trouble breathing, and you're asleep on the couch on a weekend?"

Taylor just nodded, sitting up and winces as she turned the wrong way and a sharp pain goes through her ribs. "Fine." She grimaced. "I'm not sure why I slept down here, I just couldn't sleep in my bed."

Stef just watched her daughter, "Tell me. Now."

Taylor sighed, there wasn't a lot of people who could read Taylor like an open book but Stef always could. "Okay, but it's not a big deal. I'm fine, it doesn't even hurt." Taylor was playing with the hem of her shirt, not quite ready to show Stef her bruised ribs. "I was in a small altercation at school." Taylor finally exposed to Stef her bruised ribs, a bruise that covered from her lowest rib up to her bra strap.

"Taylor! That's not nothing, that's serious. Who did this!" Stef exclaimed, anger in her eyes. "How can you say that's nothing! You can't let people just hurt you." Seeing how upset Taylor was Stef calmed herself and examined the bruise, it didn't seem like Taylor had a cracked or broken rib, but it was worrying Stef that Taylor was having trouble breathing.

"I'm sorry." Taylor whispered.

"You need to stick up for yourself sweetheart. I've seen you throw a punch, they won't screw with you if you hit them once. You're a great fighter, defend yourself." Stef ignored her daughter's apology, Stef knew that Taylor blamed herself and that's not what she wanted, Stef wanted her daughter to be happier and for people to leave her alone.

"I'm not violent. People have hurt me and I never want to hurt someone else." Taylor shrugged it off like it was nothing.

"Okay, but we can't let you keep getting hurt." Stef said, defeated. It hurt her that her daughter was okay with how people had been treating her, that Taylor didn't see herself as enough of an important person not to allow herself to be abused.

"Can I go out for a run? I want to go to the beach." Taylor asked, changing the topic.

Stef sighed, Taylor always began to freeze on people when she talked about her emotions, or things happening to her, "Don't run because of your ribs but you can walk down and hang out at the beach, I could drive you if you don't want to be alone."

Taylor shook her head no, "Thanks," Taylor flashed a fake smile, "I'm gonna go grab a sweater from upstairs in case it's cold. Then I'll head out." She stood up and ran up the stairs, wanting to get out of the house as quickly as she could.

Standing out at the beach, Taylor took a deep breath, as well as her ribs would currently allow, just to smell the air. She pulled the pencil sharpener out of her jacket pocket, throwing it to the ground, breaking perfectly so that one of the blades landed at Taylor's feet, she bent over to pick it up before continuing to walk further down the beach. hoping to escape any traffic. She had only cut in public once before, but now she was desperate, she never had a minute alone anymore, and she just had to.

Quickly looking over her shoulder to ensure that there was no one around she held the cold piece of metal in her hand, without a word she cut across her arm, once, twice. Five cuts later and she started crying. Watching the blood go across her arm, and two drops fall and stain the sand with a bright red, Taylor was angry, angry that she had spent days working on being clean and then relapsed, and for nothing! A bruise wasn't that big of a deal, and she shouldn't have reacted about her mother knowing, but she did. And the last week of work was gone. Two more quick, frantically placed slashes on the teenager's arms before she felt someone standing behind her so Taylor turned around and fell into her mother's arms, sobbing, "I'm sorry."

"Sweetheart, come on. We need to get to the car. I think I have a first aid kit in there." Stef helped Taylor to her feet and quickly got her to the front passengers seat of her car. Taylor had stopped crying, she didn't feel the pain, she just fell into the seat. "This is deeper than normally." She whispered as Stef searched for the car's first aid kit.

Stef was frantically searching her trunk for the first aid kit, seeing the blood drip from her daughter's arm, almost scared her. She didn't know how to react. She threw one of her kids sweaters out of the trunk.

"It's fine. I found it. There was disinfectant wipes, gauze and some tape. I covered it up." Taylor said as she stuck her arm out to show Stef.

"Why didn't you tell me you found it, I would have helped you wrap it." Stef was still not sure what she was supposed to say, "Do you want to talk?"

Taylor shrugged, "That's my problem, I don't talk. I need to but I'm afraid to. Honestly I'm okay but, I mean... Should we talk?"

Stef was surprised how calm that Taylor could be compared to how she just was, hysterically sobbing and cutting herself. Now, she was calm, thinking clearly, admitting her problems with trusting people. And indirectly asking her mother if she was okay. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to."

"B..bu.. But," Ashamed, Taylor stuttered trying to talk to Stef, "No one has ever seen me, do that before. And I've never seen you scared before, not like that. I've never seen you, look like you were about to cry." When Stef didn't say anything Taylor just shrugged and went to sit in the car but before sitting she looked to her mom, "I cleaned it up and bandaged it myself because I'm ashamed that you know what I've done, I didn't want you to have to look at it anymore than you already have."

Stef just nodded, sitting on the trunk of her car while Taylor finished bandaging her arm. A few tears rolled down Stef's face, she wanted to help her daughter but didn't know how. Everytime they took a step forward, Taylor appeared to be just a bit happier, something sent them back a foot.

"Let's go home." Stef gave Taylor a small smile, trying to hide the fact that she had been crying.

Taylor shook her head no, "Can we go somewhere else?"

Stef nodded, "Of course, let me call home and tell them that we're going to be out for lunch." Taylor nodded and watched her mother as she spoke wearily on the phone, to whom, Taylor wasn't sure.

Stef hung up the phone and faced Taylor, "So where do you want to go?"

Taylor shrugged, "Anywhere? Something fun? I just don't want to go home yet."

Stef nodded, "Okay."

Taylor frowned at the short answers and tense conversation between her and Stef. "I won't do it again. I know that sounds stupid after what you just saw. But I won't do it again. I'm worth more than that."

Stef just nodded, she didn't know what to do with Taylor, therapy didn't seem to help but maybe she should force Taylor to go anyways?

They drove for a few minutes before Stef pulled into the parking lot of a store, "I'll be right back, I'm going to get some bread, then we'll go to the park."

Taylor nodded skeptically, "Okay."

When Stef returned she was carrying a loaf of bread, not saying a word she pulled out of the parking lot and drove to the park. "Come on."

Taylor followed her mother's instructions, she was confused but obeyed her mother, hoping that Stef wouldn't realize that she still had the razor still in her pocket.

Stef started to tear a piece of bread and threw it too a duck sitting near by.

"Don't do that, the seagulls will start coming over." Taylor said cringing her nose. She pulled her feet up onto the bench, resting her chin on her knees, Taylor was careful of her fresh cuts as she removed her sweater and used it as a place to rest her head. "Don't!" She shrieked when a seagull came close to her.

Stef laughed at her daughter, she threw a piece of bread towards her causing a seagull to fly by and grab it. "You're afraid of seagulls?"

Taylor nodded screaming and jumping back every time a bird came near to get food, "Haven't you seen that movie about birds? They attack and kill people!"

Stef laughed again, "You are afraid of seagulls!"

"I am not!" Taylor pouted until another seagull flew by to grab the last piece of bread from the ground causing her to jump back screaming.

"Okay, okay." Stef laughed. "We'll go home now."

Taylor giggled, "Please? And leave the bread here so those stupid birds don't follow!" Taylor's smile was almost as big as her face, something Stef was pleased to see.

The two drove home, as they pulled into the driveway and noticed that the other kids had gone out with Lena when Stef realized that she was supposed to go into the office and finish up some paperwork.

"Will you be okay home alone?" Stef asked her daughter worried.

"I'm alright. I said I wouldn't do it again." Taylor lied while smiling, "And besides you took anything sharp I could hurt myself with away." She said this with full confidence that she still had a razor in her pocket.

"Okay." Stef sighed finally after staring a long time at her daughter. "I guess I don't have much choice."

Taylor smiled and then nodded before running into the house and looking out the window as Stef's car drove off. She could tell that Stef didn't want to leave Taylor alone, especially after today. But Taylor had tricked her mother, the smiles and giggles at the park. It was all just to hide that all she was thinking about was cutting again.

Slowly pulling the blade out of her pocket, now her only tool, she peeled away the bandage on her arm and made a few more cuts, Stef hadn't seen how many there were. Taylor carefully placed three more cuts on her arms.

Placing the blade back in her pocket, she caught sight of herself in a mirror. Her eyes were dull and lifeless. She had never been this bad.

Author's note:

Hey guys, sorry this took awhile to update I couldn't figure out what I wanted to write, and then personal experience. So yeah, as you could probably tell by the last few chapters, things are going so great. Though two important adults in my life know, they're just waiting for the right time to tell me they know. (Like I couldn't figure it out by the way they stare at me long sleeves) Anyways, it might be a few days before I update again, but i will update by the end of the weekend. Lots of love! xoxo Day(s) clean: 0