Narrated by: Nessie
Disclaimer: I don't own nothing including any twilight names, sets, or anything created of Catherine Hardwick (whom I am hateful to) and or Stephenie Meyer
Side note of the author: I'm keeping gm ypromise to post what was is 3 chapters in one night. It's 9:49 and I'm going to try to make 3 chapters 5 minutes to midnight. Enjoy!Holy Shit! I cn NOT DO THIS! I PROMISED HYOU 5 HAPTERS IN ONE DAY! HOLY CRAP! I AM PERSON OF MY WRODS THO! I WILL DO THIS! I'm sorry , my a and w keys are broken, if me or spell check didn't catch mistake, look next to the letters and try putting them in, if that doesn't make sense, assume its an a or w. I hope you enjoy, I'm sorry if you are mad at me but, this will be the last chapter I add as a new story, I know granny(me) just figured out how to add chapters. So start looking for new chapters on the old ones, I'm currently adding the old ones to chapter one also. Enjoy, please, if you don't review it I will think you hate not only the chapters but me too, and then I will not write anymore. Also this is the (hopefully) much anticipated chapter where Nessie meets someone new! Actually, genius editing! 2 new guys. Oh and since I'm adding two new guys, one has to go, Alex I think it was; eh I never used him anyways. Sorry thing takes up the entire chapter! Lol.
I realized that it was 8 am so I paused "if you see Jordan" on and turned to shower. I pulled on the skinny jeans I got at H and M and a white tank top with a purple sweater. I pulled my brown hair in a relaxed half pony tail and realized that with the argyle socks and van ballet flats in white I looked like modern therapist. I ran to school at 8:54 am and quickly slammed my back pack at the lockers. I bent over to pick up my books and binders when I heard a girls voice saying "OMG you are so working those shoes!" It couldn't be Alice because just this morning she and Rosalie had attacked them with insults. I bent straight up and slowly said thanks and I turned around to see a kid with blonde hair smiling." Um may I help you?" I questioned slowly "Of course silly billy!" Wow who is this kid? "How can I help I guess?" I questioned yet again slowly. "Do you have an extra brush, I look like a slob today" he said in a quite high- pitched voice. "Um sorry no, and that's not true you look great in that Abercrombie and Fitch shirt." Oh my gawd this guy must think I'm retarded. "Do they talk slow where you come from?" "Oh ha-ha no I'm just surprised by you're . . . um . . . " "my voice? Yeah I get that a lot!" "So why are you talking to me, Nessie Cullen, Mr. Abercrombie and Fitch?" "Oh where are my manners today!? My name is Fagan Crumpet and yes I am gay." Wowzers what a name" So why would you approach a stranger like me for a brush" I said "Oh that's easy you silly, we aren't strangers! We have math together!" "Oh okay. So how long have you been . . . .? Gay" "Since the day I was born at lest that's what my dad says" "So your dad knows?" "Yeah, he doesn't care. Long as I don't say guys are hot in front of him he's cool with it"" Frozen kidney beans" "I like you, ya got pizzazz!" "Wow, so got a boyfriend?" "Yeah his name's Jordan" "Woooooooooooow. That pardons my French, asshole?" " Yeah, but he's pretty nice all in all, he's just over protective, he went gay cause some chick made an ass out of him in front of everyone. So he hates chicks now" "Wow that's pretty sexist. But I guess whatever is cool with you." "Yeah, what about you?" "Nah, you heard of Bella Cullen? She's my mom, she met that guy Edward, he treats her write and stuff like that, so my standards are pretty high, and these guys are like jerks so, yeah"
Quick recap: Nessie has met one guy already, Fagan- it means little fiery one. So just wanted to recap. Sorry if that insults your intelligence .
I spent the entire math talking with Fagan. Getting in trouble 7 times in the making of it. "HEY I HAVE A GREAT IDEA!" " Oo Yummy! What is it?!" " We be video buddies, like make music videos on ! That ould be so fun! I've been looking for a guy to make music videos with!" "Yes! OK how about How to save a life by the fray!" " LOVING IT!"
Special Feature: The lay out / script for the video they make. Sadly I have no gay best friend so I can't really make the videos. Lol awesome picture! On the news it was a poster and it says" Al Gore didn't make the internet. But he did make up Global warming." Ok there actually is 23 flavors in ! I googled that bitch and here is the much anticipated 23 flavors in :
1.
Amaretto
2.
Almond
3.
Blackberry
4.
Black Licorice
5.
Carrot
6.
Clove
7.
Cherry
8.
Caramel
9.
Cola
10.
Ginger
11.
Juniper
12.
Lemon
13.
Molasses
14.
Nutmeg
15.
Orange
16.
Prune
17.
Plum
18.
Pepper
19.
Root Beer
20.
Rum
21.
Raspberry
22.
Tomato
23.
Vanilla
Thank you !
Back to the story
Theme: Alchohalic boyfriend and the girlfriend wants him to stop
The beginning we use posters to write what they say, "Sit down we need to talk" he keeps walking and she says " Sit down its just a talk" he smiles and she stares. She blocks the door and he tries to leave. And then bove her head a thinking bubble and it says " why did I choose him?"
Then at the chorus it shows the two at the table and he slowly fades. T the secod verse above her head she is speaking to him nd it says" C'mon, you know I know what's best for you. Drinking is a problem and you need to go to aa meetings"
When it says he raises his voice in caps lock it says" I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!!" in a speech bubble from him. She has a speech bubble saying " It's AA or me"
Then when it says he will do one of two things, it will first have him at an AA meetings and then he says" I'm sorry" and she again questions why she went for him. Then its him passed out on the floor with a bottle in his hand and she's crying over top of him.
End scene
Credits:
Thanks to Stephenie Meyer, for writing a book to truly be proud of to parody off of.
Thanks to Something Corporate for all of your beautiful songs, especially Konstantine
Thanks to the author of Life as a Jelly Donut for your hilarious writing and for the inspiration of the gay best friend, I hope you don't mind me using it a little
Thanks to my viewers, with out whom I wouldn't have the confidence to keep writing
A very special thanks to my sister, without whom the preview of the third chapter would not be possible and inspiration for the anticipated chapter: Cleaning the Fridge (A little Shop of Horrors parody crossed with Twilight). Thanks sis, I love you
A special thanks to my friends, without whom I wouldn't be able to refrain from unleashing my crazy on all of you! And trust me; you do NOT want to see that.
Thanks to Yahoo! Messenger, for keeping me on with longer than, midnight conversations that kept me awake while I posted chapters and wrote them.
Thanks to Heidi and Ella for the adorable inspiration you give me. And especially to Heidi for being my baby girl, down stairs while I do these chapters.
Thanks and sorry's to anyone I forgot that I'm sure well- deserve a special spot on here!
Thanks to Lindsay for the reviews and encouragement, and being with me and helping me out of everything, always there to help sis. From going to the midnight premiere of Twilight the movie, to Breaking Dawn parties, to Twilight collation meetings, you supported the extreme lengths of nerdiness I went to.
Thanks to Scrubs and TiVo for hours of endless entertainment, and inspiration
Thanks to Dr. Pepper , Pepsi Max, and Coca Cola for just as much inspiration as my friends.
K I'm sorry if you hate it but this is my line in blue chalk, this is the end of the chapter