Unspoken Memories

Freak Like Me? [Winter, 1917]

But I keep your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling, who knew?

Who knew, P!nk

The beautiful blonde man, skin riddled with scars stood there whilst other people like himself threw themselves at him, teeth bared.. The man, whose name wasn't known let them attack him, but in the end the fight was always won by him, and new crescent shaped scars were added to his body. The man then walked away from the piles of mangled bodies, sparkling in the Texan sun, with a pained look on his face.

I gasped, gripping onto my long hair, which colour I did not know. Colour? What was that again? Black. That was a colour. Everything was a black. So what was colour? I gripped onto my hair as if it was the only way of holding onto my sanity. My head no longer hurt when I was about to have a vision. I didn't feel pain anymore. I was a black void, devoid of all emotion, and feelings. I sucked in some stale air.

Tall beautiful man, different to last time. Running. Faster. Very fast. Sped through the forest, his perfectly kept hair not affected by the air whipping past his ears. He continued to weave through the trees at a shocking speed, not at all phased by the trees her barely missed. He stopped abruptly, and his face shot up, he sniffed the air once, twice, his eyes holding a feral look to them. He took off again in another direction, following an imaginary trail. He let out a low snarl, startling the young girl kept in the small room, seeing it from a different perspective. He entered a clearing in the trees where a group of deer were grazing. The blonde man leapt towards a deer, and before it had any time to react, the man was already latched onto the animals throat, draining it dry of the precious red liquid. The man finished, looked down at the carcass, disgusted with himself.

"Carlisle..." I whispered.

Why did I just see the only person that had ever been kind to me, drinking blood from an animal? I do need to be in this crazy house. I belong here. They were right. Wait. Who was right? Why was I not somewhere not here? What was it that was not where I am right now? I'm so confused.

First blonde man. Bodies. Carlisle slaughtering another animal and draining it of it's blood. First blonde man again. Pained face. Alone. Animals scared away from Carlisle. First man again. Beautiful. Eyes as .. Red? Like blood. Red blood. Carlisle turns. Once black eyes turn to Gold. Gold, like sun. Sun. Sun makes people outside sparkle. But I didn't sparkle.. Did I? Makes people who like blood sparkle. Did I drink blood? No. My eyes were blue.. Like.. Like water. Clean water.

Flickers.

Between Carlisle and his golden eyes, and animal carcasses. To beautiful blonde man and his blood red pain filled eyes.

The images were playing through my head like some twisted cinema projector. I bit my lip to contain my scream, but it didn't work. I gripped my hair and tried to silence my screams. Carlisle? Help me. Tell me that you're not going to drink me too. Carlisle? He was nice. What if my old Doctor came back? I tried to focus on things that were going to happen.. The past? No, Future. I tried to focus on the future, but I could only see the sickening images of the blonde man, whose name I had betrayed by forgetting.

Blood. Bodies. Golden. Red.

I rolled over, and screamed. I immediately shoved my dirty fist into my mouth, but it was too late. The damage was done. I had screamed. I laid on my dirty mattress with deranged thoughts rushing through my brain. I continued gripping my long hair.

And then the door opened. Carlisle!

But as the figure came into the light, he didn't move as gracefully as Carlisle, nor was he as beautiful.

"I 'eard you screaming." I whimpered. "It's time for yer treatment anyway." He picked me up by the collar of my ratty dress, and dragged me into the corridor. The lights were too bright, and it hurt. This is the first time I've been out of here, and I wasn't used to it. He dragged my down the corridor, and into another room. I was flung onto a chair, and strapped in.

"Elizabeth?!" The man called, and I felt the presence of another person enter the room, and I cowered.

"Yes?" Answered an unusually pleasant voice.

"Cut it's hair."

"How much?"

"Oh, all of it. It's having a shock treatment in a minute." I prised my eyes open against the bright light, and saw the big man leave the room. The woman came towards me with a pair of scissors, and I shied away from the with a whimper.

"Hey, come on now. I'm really sorry, but I have to do this. You and me would both be in trouble if I don't do this." She brought the the scissors towards my head, and stared shearing away at my precious hair whilst tears ran down my face. "I'm so sorry," Once she was finished I brought my hand up and felt the fuzzy remains of my hair on my scalp. "Robert? I'm finished." The big man came into the room again, and dragged me out.

I was carried into another room, this one much darker than the last, all the elec..elec.. electricity was flowing into one part of the room. I could see better here; There was a chair in the middle of the room, and it reminded me of something, something from when I was not here... Dentist, some part of my brain told me, it was like a Dentist's chair. But I didn't have enough time to look at it, as I was picked up roughly by a worker, and shoved onto the seat.

I was bound to the chair with leather straps, and another strap was tied round my head. The large man went to a box the other side of the room, and pulled down on a large lever.

I was shaking. Hurt, pain and fear coursed through my veins like a wildfire. My body convulsed but was held down by the tightening restraints. I was losing my grip on consciousness, but I held onto to things whilst I entered the darkness; The pale soldier, and Carlisle.

I would find my pale soldier, Jasper, and I wished for Carlisle. Carlisle would come wouldn't he? He had to, I need him to come back. But who would want to be with a freak like me?

Sorry about the wait and blah blah blah...

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