"…And inevitably what you used to be
Will succumb to the pull of gravity
And you will never know, you will never see
With virgin eyes again…"
- Missy Higgins, Unbroken
He couldn't believe it.
Connor...a mage...
And then, suddenly, Connor...a demon...
No, something about that just didn't sit right either.
Lady Isolde looked about to breakdown at any moment, more than she already had that is, and Alistair supposed he couldn't blame her. This was her son, or part of him maybe, the part the demon didn't control if there was any. He knew the tricks demons could play, and even though he wouldn't normally suggest...Maker...even though he wouldn't normally suggest slaying a child under any circumstances. Well these weren't just any circumstances, were they?
"I don't know what we should do." Alistair admitted. And he could almost feel Sten's eyes on him, sizing him up.
"We have few options, I'm afraid. The situation looks...bleak." Bann Teagan said gravely.
And then, there was Jowan, ready to help in the way only a blood mage could.
"You, you did this, to my son, to my husband! I'll kill you!" The Arlessa wailed upon seeing him, sobbing as she sank to her knees. Jowan apologized but Alistair doubted she could hear him, until he said something about a ritual...
"The demon controls Connor from the Fade. I know of a ritual that would allow someone to enter the Fade and kill the demon, thus severing its hold on the child. It usually requires lyrium and several more mages." he explained. "I couldn't do it because I would be casting the spell but it would enable another mage to do so."
"What about the Circle? They have lyrium and mages. They could help us." Isolde pointed out.
"That's true," Alistair said slowly. "I have companions there - Wardens - who are assessing the situation at the Tower right now. If we wait for them-"
"-There isn't time," Teagan cut in. "If the Circle has truly been overwhelmed by abominations they would be in no shape to aid us now. Besides, there's no telling what that thing is capable of given time."
"That 'thing' is still my son!"
"He is a demon, Isolde."
Dammit, he's right.
"Then we must do the ritual. It is something, at least." Lady Isolde said in a much calmer voice than before.
"The only thing is," Jowan added hesitantly. "It is blood magic, and therefore would require a great deal of someone's life energy...all of it, in fact."
Silence.
"Then I will be the sacrifice."
"Isolde, are you mad?"
"No, I am a mother, Teagan. And either my son must die or I give up my life so that Connor can live. To me, the choice is clear."
Isolde was too calm. The kind of calm that overtakes you when you've seen too much death and...
Alistair didn't know what to think. On one hand, it was blood magic and even though he and the Arlessa had never gotten along that great he certainly didn't want her dead, not really anyway. But Connor was just a child - an innocent - it really was the best option. Maker, he was deciding who would die...
Is this what it felt like to be a leader? His eyelids felt heavy and his stomach was tying itself in knots.
"Are you sure you're ready to die, Lady Isolde?"
"Is anyone? It's only a question of what I am willing to die for. And to save my son, I would gladly sacrifice myself a million times over."
It was something.
"But who shall enter the Fade?" Teagan asked.
No...
Alistair looked at the floor, his knees shaking.
Morrigan was gone...
No!
He had no choice.
As he ascended the stairs, he wondered-
No, forget what Jenji would do. This was about him. This was about the Arl, what would he say? What would Duncan say for that matter?
"You're here to kill me, aren't you?"
It's a demon...
"Will it hurt?"
It's a demon, Alistair...
"I remember you."
It's a-
That's when Lady Isolde came running, just a tad too late for the part where Connor had turned into a desire demon and tried to kill them all. Now the boy lay on the floor, human once again, and all Alistair could think was how this must look. Maybe she thought he was dead already.
"No, please stop...I order you to stop!" the Arlessa cried. "What do you want from me? D-do you want me to apologize for your childhood? I will! I'll do anything...I'll give you riches...I'll...I'll..." she tugged at the fabric of her dress, trying desperately to undo the buttons and ribbons that secured the garment. When this failed, she sobbed harder. Alistair's eyes widened. "Anything...just don't hurt my baby!"
"Parshaara, this woman is keeping us from reaching our goal." Sten stepped forward...and knocked Lady Isolde out cold.
Alistair's eyes refused to take in the sight before him.
That's when he realized he couldn't do it.
He turned to Sten, his face pale. "I can't..." he said. His throat was suddenly dry. "You do it, please..."
The qunari grunted and unsheathed his sword with a grimace, because it wasn't really his sword. All he saw was a demon, not to mention mage, but Alistair could have sworn he had hesitated for just a second. It was the kind of thought that made him think there might still be hope in this world.
Leliana buried her face in the Warden's chest. He couldn't watch either, shutting his eyes tight and trying to focus on something other than the crude, emotionless sound of the blade.
He concentrated on Leliana's soft sobs, and the red of her hair rather than the red of Connor's blood.
Isolde regained consciousness, and for a blissful moment she seemed to have forgotten where she was or at very least how she came to be here. But then she saw Alistair, and her eyes darkened.
"What have you done?" she demanded, her voice a low and dangerous growl.
"Only what we must." Sten replied.
...What have I done?
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Jenji could feel something digging into her back.
It was Morrigan's shoe.
Not that it was ideal to wake up on the cold hard ground of course, but waking up by someone kicking you really made it worse. She didn't feel like she'd slept. Her head was groggy and the elf rubbed her eyes.
"Ah, taking a little nap I see." Morrigan teased.
"What are you doing here? I sent you with Alistair."
"And he is a fool. I would not follow him on what might as well be a suicide mission to save a small village of ungrateful peasants." the Witch spat.
"So you left?"
"Obviously, or I would not be here." Morrigan snorted. "Better that than waste my time on a pointless errand. Besides, you are our leader and thus I follow you. Mother instructed me to do so, I have pledged no allegiance to the templar nor do I owe him anything. Nothing is gained from helping those ingrates."
Maybe it wasn't the exact words Jenji would use, but she'd take the woman's word for it. She noticed the Witch had a book under her arm she'd never seen before and thought to ask about it later.
Once she was certain everyone else was no worse for wear, all eyes fell to the pile of robes crumpled on the floor: Niall. The piece of paper was still in his hand, that's all it was, a piece of paper. That was what all this had been for.
Now Jenji just had to make sense of the words written on it.
Mamae could read and write, even in Elvish, and Jenji knew only what she had taught her which was enough for the Alienage, but now...
"Here, you take it." She handed the Litany to Wynne. The healer took it without question.
And the blood mage had been right: she really didn't know what Uldred had become.
Jenji had only ever known one mage before becoming a Grey Warden. He was an elven boy she'd been more or less friends with as a child. Jenji was once climbing the great Tree, which was of course not allowed and for very good reason as it turned out. Somehow she lost her hold on the branch and fell.
The boy rushed to her side immediately. Jenji knew she'd broken something, probably several somethings in fact. Waves of sharp, agonizing pain shot through her body. She felt like she'd been stabbed by a flaming sword.
But then a soft blue light was surrounding her. It made her feel calm and safe, the scream died in her throat. He stared wide-eyed at his hands, and they both noticed the crowd that had formed around them, keeping its distance as if afraid. She heard murmurs from the elves; they all had the same look of shock that he did.
A woman stepped forward. Jenji recognized her as Mrs. Surana. Her cheeks were streaked with tears, and she was saying the Chant. Even the Alienage had its fair share of pious folk.
Jenji didn't understand what was happening. She watched as men in plate armor who normally stood like statues outside the chantry pushed through the crowd and took her friend away. The other elves - his friends and neighbors, people who had watched him grow up - looked downcast, avoiding his eyes as he cried for help. But the pain hit her at full force once more and the world dissolved.
Mamae tried to explain to her that those men were templars, sworn warriors of the Chantry, and it was their job to find mages and lock them all up in a tower where they are watched constantly for any signs of corruption from malicious spirits of the Fade. Her friend was one such mage.
Jenji had tried to imagine such a place.
"Is it sort of like the Alienage, Mamae?" she had asked.
Adaia then smiled sadly. "Yes, Da'len. It is a prison and a safe haven both. They are protected from the world as much as the world is protected from them...but they are not free to choose another way."
"Are there any mages outside of the Tower? Like the Dalish?"
"The Dalish have mages, yes. It is an old magic, passed down in each clan from the wisest of our elders. It is a magic of the earth itself, a blood bond with nature. The Chantry may try to stop this practice, but the Dalish never stay in one place for very long, and often disappear before the templars can do anything." Mamae paused. "There are...others who prefer freedom to the confines of the Circle. They are called apostates and are branded as a threat to themselves and those around them because they could become maleficarum or abominations...and sometimes this is true...but more often than not..."
She stopped speaking and took in the confused look on her daughter's face, then smiled. "All you need to know is that your little friend has been taken to a place where he will learn to control his magical ability, as well as read and write. In the Tower, elves and humans are seen as equals."
"I think what those men do is mean." Jenji had declared. "They should let the mages out for a little while at least."
Mamae became very serious. "We live in a world full of fear and hatred brought on by people's ignorance and unwillingness to change. What I'm trying to say is, we mustn't hate them, Da'len. It's all they know, and we should teach by example."
"But sometimes we have to fight, right Mamae?"
"That's right, dear girl, sometimes we have to fight."
"I think I understand."
Wynne would tell her that her friend had survived whatever the super secret test known as the Harrowing was. Apparently a human called Amell had not been so fortunate. She was a shy girl with a weak heart, Wynne said, and his only friend at the Circle. It had been his own distrusting nature that had allowed him to see through the Fade's trickery. No one knew what had happened next.
And Jenji half-expected to find his body thrown aside like all the others, even if she wouldn't recognize him after all this time.
The demon was larger than an ogre. It stunned her, dagger in hand; and all she could do was stare in horror. She watched and waited, for what, she didn't know.
Jenji wasn't sure how, but the creature that had been Uldred was dead. Maybe it was Morrigan's frost spells or Wynne's healing or her and Daveth's...whatever they did. Who knows, maybe it was the dog or Andraste's divine protection.
Either way, they had their promise of assistance, and a new friend.
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So a qunari, an Orlesian bard, and an ex-templar Grey Warden bastard prince walk into a tavern...
No, it wasn't the beginning of a bad joke. It was literally all he could think to do now. No one spoke - no one needed to - they just drank.
Alistair thought back to the only Harrowing he'd ever attended - Well, maybe that wasn't the right word exactly. The girl had been so frightened, he could see it. He watched as the more experienced templars took her from her bed to the Harrowing Chamber in the dead of night. It was...horrible. She was there one moment, and gone the next. She - or it - stared up at him with huge violet eyes...unnatural, wicked, sinister eyes. Luckily he hadn't been the one to strike her down. What had got him most though was the stillness...
And this time he couldn't bring himself to do it either. Connor was a child, and - in some way - he was family, maybe not technically, but...
Maker, what would Arl Eamon say? Had he done the right thing? So it was the only option, did that make it okay by default?
Bann Teagan had assured him they could stay at the castle for as long as they needed. But how could they? The place was like a tomb. He could feel the lingering energies of dark magic. That was the only way to describe it, it chilled your heart.
He needed a drink.
That's when the door swung open...and it was Jenji! Oh, he'd never been happier to see her in his life. Alistair wanted to hug the elf but he knew that would be inappropriate.
Then the rest of their party entered: Daveth, and Harvey, and a robed woman he'd never seen before; and...Morrigan. Ohh, he'd kill her. Yep, the little bitch was going to die.
"Can I get you anything this evening?" Bella the tavern girl asked Jenji.
"Well that depends a great deal on who is paying, doesn't it?"
"Uh, she's with us." Alistair said.
"Heroes drink free," Bella informed her with a grin.
"In that case," Jenji raised an eyebrow at the waitress' statement, "I'll have gin."
She noted how her companions looked as though they'd seen a ghost. Leliana was picking her nails and staring off into a space, her eyes red. Alistair looked like he was trying to light Morrigan on fire with his eyes, and Sten just seemed...too quiet.
"All right...clearly I've missed something here. Someone start talking."
And of course by 'someone' she'd meant 'Alistair'.
"There was undead attacking the village. We killed them, no thanks to Morrigan I might add. When we entered the castle we discovered that the Arl's son had been possessed by a demon. We had no choice but to...slay him." He stared at his drink. "That's the short version anyway."
"It was the right thing to do," their leader stated after a time. He'd been sure she was going to hit him, or at least yell at him. If she had done something like this he certainly would have had a few choice words for her on the matter.
"I—what…?"
"You heard me." she said, sipping her gin in a very unladylike fashion.
"So who is your friend?" Leliana interrupted, unable to resist asking any longer. Jenji looked confused or a moment before she remembered what the bard meant.
"Oh, right." she cleared her throat and announced in her most official sounding tone: "Everyone, this is Wynne of the Circle of Magi. She's a healer, and will be coming along on our little adventure. Wynne, this is everyone." Leliana clapped, Morrigan pouted - or her version of pouting anyway which mostly just looked angry - and Alistair was slightly more uncomfortable which he'd thought pretty much impossible a moment ago.
"Thank you for the introduction." Wynne smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you all."
"So tell me Alistair, were you discreet?" Jenji asked suddenly. The templar didn't understand.
"Well...we saved the village; we...I-I don't know...what you mean."
The woman sighed. "We need help, but it's not promised to us here. There is no treaty that guarantees Redcliffe's support, especially considering the state its in. And there's still a bounty on our heads. We can't afford to take risks, political or otherwise right now."
"What are you say-"
"-I believe she's referring to that," Bella gestured to the elven man in the corner, slumped over his ale trying his best not to be noticed. Had he been listening to them? "I think he's hiding something myself."
Jenji nodded and got up, walking briskly towards the suspicious individual. Leliana followed for some reason, and he couldn't help but notice how Daveth's eyes lingered just a little too long.
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Berwick spotted the two women approaching him and said gruffly, "I'm not looking for company, even from two lovely ladies such as yourselves."
That wouldn't do. Suddenly Jenji's dagger was a little too close for comfort. "What's your name?" the Warden demanded.
"Whoa! Hey, easy now!" He nearly spilled his ale. "B-Berwick is my name."
"Do I have to ask or are you just going to tell me what you been up to?"
"I-I've done nothing wrong, I swear! I'm just...waiting for my brother. Yes, that's it, honest." But she wasn't fooled.
"You don't seem sure about that." Leliana observed.
"I think I know my own life, lady. Look, I wasn't told to talk to anyone so just leave me alone."
"I knew it!" Leliana exclaimed. "I know a spy when I see one."
"What were you told to do then?"
"I wasn't...I didn't...I won't tell you anything, even if you are a Grey Warden." Berwick said. The woman frowned. How did he know she was a Warden?
"This will be a lot easier if you just tell me what you know."
"I don't know anything! They told me to watch to the castle and report back if there were any changes, only I haven't been able to do that yet because of the attacks on the village! I don't even know what's happening at the castle."
"Who told you this?"
"I got this letter...I just thought I was helping my country, serving the king. I was in it for the coin mostly but...Just please just don't hurt me!"
"No promises," Jenji muttered.
It was clear he wasn't a real threat to them. Perhaps he knew more than he was letting on, there was always a chance of that, but there really was little they could do. She could kill him, but that would just rouse the suspicions of whoever had hired him anyway. It would be the same outcome as if they'd let him go.
She strode over to Alistair and whispered, "That is precisely what I mean." The elf handed him the letter. Alistair unfolded the parchment and read:
Berwick,
We need your eyes and ears in Redcliffe.
Stay in the village, keep your head down, and watch the castle.
Report any changes, and you'll be well paid.
It wasn't signed. Well, this was bad.
It was clear they all had a lot more catching up to do, and so they left the tavern bound for Castle Redcliffe.
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"So...let me get this straight," Alistair started. "You think this Berwick fellow was hired by Loghain to keep tabs on us?"
"I do," Leliana confirmed. She was, after all, an expert on such things.
"We should get out of Redcliffe as soon as we can." Jenji added. "We must find the Dalish, it will be harder to track us in the middle of the forest."
"What about Arl Eamon?"
"It is likely he was poisoned. The Urn of Sacred Ashes may be our only shot to cure him." the bard explained gently.
"If we wait much longer the Dalish will have moved north and we won't find them." Jenji argued.
"And if we wait to find the Ashes Arl Eamon could die!" Alistair snapped. Jenji merely sighed.
"I won't go chasing a legend, not when we have real allies to collect. We need an army, Alistair, not a noble."
"You don't understand!"
"Shut up, both of you!" Leliana shrieked. A stunned silence ensued. "We will take a vote. Everyone who thinks we should go to the Dalish first, raise your hand."
Jenji, Morrigan, and Sten raised their hands. That left Alistair, Leliana, and Wynne. Harvey was asleep under the table.
"We're tied."
They all looked at each other, uncertain.