(PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY SELF HARM OR CUTTING, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER! You will not miss much, it will be mentioned in later chapters but you do not have to read this chapter to understand things in the future chapters. Stay safe everyone. 3)

Marina awoke to her alarm beeping mercilessly. Rolling over, she covered her head with her pillow and made a loud groaning noise. "I don't wanna get up. I can't get up. No energy..." She muttered to herself as she squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Accepting that there was no backing out of work she forced herself out of bed. She felt as if she had weights on her feet. Sluggishly walking to her bathroom, she rubbed the wall to find the light switch, she clicked it. She squinted due to the bright light. She proceeded with her morning routine of washing her face and brushing her teeth. Leaving her bathroom she got dressed for the day, feet still dragging. Once she was ready she grabbed her keys and purse and left her apartment.

On her way down the stairs to get to her car she stumbled a few times, almost falling. Probably shouldn't of worn the heels today, Marina. She walked to her car, unlocked it, and got in.

When she arrived to work, she was greeted by Amanda. Marina's eyes were half closed as if she was beginning to fall asleep.

"Hey Marina, not looking so good again today." Amanda said in a concerned tone.

Marina swayed slightly as she struggled to open her eyes all the way. She yawned and waved off Amanda's comment. "No I'm fine I just-" she stopped mid-sentence, as if she forgot what she was gonna say. "I'm just real tired."

Amanda seemed unconvinced. "Marina, please. You can barely finish your sentences."

"I will just get coffee it's no big deal. I will just stay in my cubicle and it will all be alright! Haha yeahhhh..." She shuffled to the elevator, Amanda on her tail. Marina began giggling slightly, she was so tired that she couldn't control her laughter. Amanda looked at her really confused.

"Marina, what the heck are you laughing about?"

"I don't kno-" Her sentence was cut off by a fit of laughter. She almost toppled to the ground as she hunched over in her hysterics. "Oh my gosh it hurts! My ribs!" Her voice cracked and began to squeak slightly.

Amanda wrapped her arms around Marina so she wouldn't fall over. "Marina you need to quiet down we are almost at our floor."

"I am trying!" She yelled through giggles. She attempted to hold her breath, only to cause another laughter fit.

"I swear you are insane sometimes."

Marina managed to calm down as her laughter turned into hyperventilating and small giggles. By the time the elevator doors opened she was almost completely under control. However, she was even more tired than she was when she first walked in. She stumbled to her cubicle.

She heard Amanda say something, but her brain couldn't even comprehend what it was that she was saying. She just nodded as if she knew what she was saying as she turned on her computer and leaned back in her chair. Once the computer was on, she didn't even begin working, she just stared blankly at the screen. What is wrong with me? I have worked when I was exhausted before. Why can't I just concentrate? She bombarded herself with questions silently. She heard Amanda come back, and from the corner of her eye she could see someone else with her. Marina sighed and didn't even bother turning.

"See I told you she isn't right!" Amanda whined at the other person.

"Miss Goodwin, what is wrong with you." Came another female voice. It was the manager of the floor she worked on, Mrs. Anderson.

"I dunno." Marina said in a monotone voice, still staring at the computer screen. "I have been feeling more tired lately. I don't feel like myself. I can't concentrate."

"Do you think she is getting sick?" Amanda whispered, but Marina could still hear her.

"Miss Goodwin, if you think you are getting sick, for the safety of yourself and the people who work here I am going to have to ask you to leave." Her manager said sternly. Marina couldn't tell if she was annoyed, concerned, or both.

Maybe I am coming down with a virus. Maybe I should go home. "Yeah I guess I will go home."

Amanda gave a sigh of relief. "Ok good, and don't worry I will get all of your paper work done so when you come back you don't have tons of work."

"Thanks Amanda." Marina said as she gathered her belongings.

"Any time, now you get better! Ok?" Amanda placed a hand on Marina's shoulder.

"Yep." She replied bluntly but gave her a small smile to not be rude. Marina walked back to the elevator and pressed the down button.

When Marina got home she stripped down into her pajamas and half heartedly washed off her makeup, leaving some streaks of mascara on her cheeks. She flopped into her bed and snuggled into her blankets. In a matter of seconds she blacked out into a deep sleep.

Marina jolted awake from the sound of someone's car alarm go off. She looked around her room, completely disoriented. She wasn't sure how long she was asleep, heck she didn't even know what day it was. Grabbing her phone she clicked the home button to cause the screen to light up, it read 4:15 am November 10th. "Holy crap I slept through the whole monday...and monday night." she rubbed her face and flattened her curls on top of her head. "What's wrong with me? I haven't felt this way in a really long time."

She decided not to worry about it and got up to make a cup of hot chocolate. When she walked into her living room, it was still pitch black. She turned on a lamp on the table next to her couch. When she was making her hot chocolate she noticed that she felt...empty. As if there was something missing, a huge chunk out of herself. Like a void sucking every bit of life she had. Her palms felt sweaty and she began to get shaky. She tried to finish making her drink, but couldn't.

She shakily walked to her couch and turned on the television. She swaddled herself in blankets in attempt to make the shaking stop. Unfortunately, it didn't stop and she felt herself beginning to break down. Her whole form began to shake as she started to sob. She didn't even know why she was sad, nothing bad has happened. She just felt so worthless, alone, and empty. Her mind flashed to the scars on her thighs, a cruel reminder of her harmful past. She wasn't proud of the things she had done to herself in the past, and those hundreds of white lines decorating her thighs didn't help. Her best friends always told her they were just battle scars and nothing to be ashamed of.

Recently, she had considered cutting again. However, the rational parts of her mind convince her not to. Unfortunately, at the time she was not thinking rationally. She needed release. Still shaking, she got up to get her exact-o knife. Small enough to not kill her, but sharp enough to hurt. She put on a pair of shorts to give easy access to her thighs. Bringing the razor to the high part of her leg, just by the line of her underwear, she dragged a long red line. She hissed in pain, but there was something comforting about it. She never knew what it was about cutting that helped, but it did. She proceeded to slice more lines, opening old scars. Once she was done, she was breathing heavily and had tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe she had done it, the memory she had been running from for years, was now in the present. In shock she through the exact-o knife across the room and began to cry, not even caring about the gushing blood.

She wrapped the blankets around herself again and curled into a ball. She knew she was in no state to go to work, but didn't even bother to call in sick. Marina just laid on her couch and mindlessly watched her television in attempt to forget what she had done.

She didn't even realize she had fallen asleep until she was awaken by her phone vibrating. The sun was flooding into her small apartment and wrapped her in comfort. She began digging through her blankets to find her vibrating phone. When she found it, she noticed that it was already 3:00 p.m. "There is no way it is healthy to sleep this much." By now, the phone was already done ringing. The missed call was from a number she didn't recognize. Assuming it was from a wrong number or a telemarketer, she didn't bother calling back. Marina was still sitting on her couch, remaining wrapped in her blankets, watching television.

She binged watched many episodes of Myth Busters, and didn't even noticed her living room slowly become darker. By the time she snapped back into her senses, the only light in the room was her lamp. She went to go check the time, but noticed she had a voicemail from the unknown number. Brushing it off, she noticed it was already 8:20 pm. Sighing, she got up to get her laptop. She watched a few youtube videos in attempt to cheer up, only earning a few chuckles. Still attempting to improve her mood, she decided to blast some music, only to no avail. It only made her feel more out of place, the happy tunes contrasting extremely to her mood. She closed her laptop and went back to watching television. Some sort of ocean documentary was on emitting calm blue lights and peaceful narration. Even though she slept almost for two whole days she felt herself beginning to drift to sleep.

Marina shot up out of her sleep from a loud crash of thunder. Her heart was pounding and her head was spinning from sitting up so fast. She laid her head in her hands as she tried to catch her breath. Once she did, she collapsed back on her couch, about to go back to sleep. Another roll of thunder rumbled through her apartment, causing her picture frames to shake slightly. She never was scared of thunderstorms, but since she was so emotionally and physically drained, she couldn't help but shake slightly. Sighing with exasperation, she got up to get a comforter to add to her other two fleece blankets. She tossed it on her couch and went into her bedroom. She grabbed her stuffed lamb that she had since she was little and a pillow. She walked back to her couch. She fluffed her pillow and propped it up on the arm rest. She then wrapped herself with the two fleece blankets and draped the comforter over herself. She snuggled into her blankets and stuffed animal and gave a small sigh. She couldn't help but ponder about what was causing her to feel this way all of the sudden. Having a history of depression and anxiety made her lean towards that being a possibility. It was just odd that it worsened dramatically so quick. However, now that she thought about it, she has been feeling more down and tired lately. She realized she had more anxiety attacks coming seemingly out of no where.

Marina knew that she was never cured of her illnesses when she was taken off of her meds all of those years ago. But when she moved out and began to see her symptoms worsen again, she never bothered to take it upon herself to see a therapist or a doctor to get medication. She thought that maybe she could just deal with it, that the symptoms would eventually fade away again. Obviously that didn't happen, and her own decisions came back to bite her in the butt.

Deep down she knew she needed to get treatment, but in her current state she couldn't see that happening any time soon. She sighed as she repositioned herself to get more comfortable, eventually falling into a dreamless slumber.

In the state of near unconsciousness, Marina felt her phone beginning to ring. Half asleep, she picked up her phone to see it was the unfamiliar number. Grumbling about how they wouldn't leave her alone she shut her phone off, and went back to sleep.

Peabody sighed as his phone was sent to Marina's voicemail, once again. He began to get worried. Marina left early on Monday, didn't show up tuesday, and is no where to be seen today. He wouldn't of been as concerned if she called in sick. However, with absolutely no word from her end, Peabody began to fear the worst. He decided that he would go in to check on her once the work day was over.

Once the end of the day rolled around, Peabody went to go pick up Sherman from school. Once he retrieved his son, he immediately headed to Marina's apartment complex.

"Mr. Peabody, where are we going? This isn't how we usually go home." Sherman asked, extremely confused.

Peabody gave a small sigh "We are going to check on Marina, she hasn't been at work for three days. She hasn't even called in sick. I am beginning to get worried."

Sherman's face dropped at the thought of Marina being sick or hurt. "I hope she is ok."

When the pair arrived to Marina's complex they headed up to her apartment. Peabody gave three knocks on her door. No answer. He knocked a but harder this time, feeling fear wash over him. Until he heard someone. It was muffled, but he could barely make out "Gimme a second." He heard the door unlock, but it never opened. How odd. Figuring Marina wasn't going to open it, he opened it himself.

Marina was draped over her couch, her left leg and arm dangling over the side. Peabody and Sherman hurried in and over to their friend.

"Marina? Marina are you ok?" Peabody said, almost in full fledged panic. He shook her gently in attempt to get a response. Marina made a groaning noise and buried her head into her pillow. "Marina how long have you been laying here? Are you sick? Are you hurt?"

She only responded with "Three days."

"You have been laying on this couch for three days?"

"Pretty much."

"Marina can you sit up? I want to talk to you."

Marina slowly sat up and look towards Peabody, never making eye contact. Peabody took notice to the dry blood on her legs and pajama shorts.

"Are you hurt? There is blood everywhere?" He said as he reached to touch her leg lightly. Marina winced at his touch. She sighed and lifted to show dozens of cuts on both of her upper thighs. "What happened?" She didn't respond. However, Peabody did see tears glistening her eyes.

"Mr. Peabody is she gonna be ok?" Sherman asked, beginning to tear up himself. He has never seen someone like this before. Not only was it scary to see someone completely out of their mind like that, but her was worried for his friend.

"I hope so, Sherman." Peabody said as he went to turn on the lamp to get a better look at Marina. Her eyes followed his every move. When he returned back to kneeling in front of her, she looked him into the eyes this time. He couldn't help but gasp slightly. Her eyes were dull and empty, she had mascara streaks on her face, tears stained her cheeks, and she had dark circles under her eyes. "Have you slept at all?"

Marina scoffed slightly at the comment. "That's all I have done."

"Have you eaten? Taken a shower? Anything but sleep?"

"No."

Peabody sighed. "Marina I want you to go take a shower and come back in here. I am gonna think about how to help you."

"Ok." She went to her bed room to grab a new pair of pajamas and underwear. Walking into the bathroom she stripped down and treated her cuts. She then proceeded to shower, brush her teeth, and get dressed. She felt a little better and gave Peabody an extremely small smile.

"Marina I want you to tell me what's wrong." Peabody said as he held onto her shoulders, making her look him in the eye.

"Well, when I was 14 I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression. My therapist recommended me to be put on a prescription. My parents weren't really open to the idea, but once they realized that basic breathing exercises didn't work they decided to let me get the medicine. I started taking my medication when I was 15. I took it for three years with no side effects, and it was wonderful. My therapist thought I didn't need to rely on the medication any more and lowered my dosage until I was completely off it. By the time I was medication free, it was a month before I graduated high school. Not long after I graduated, I moved and I began to notice my symptoms beginning to creep back up on me. I have been putting off going to see a doctor for a while because I was a poor college student and extremely busy. This year, however, began to go down hill. My symptoms have come back completely and I feel exhausted and empty almost everyday. I have frequent anxiety attacks that are triggered by seemingly nothing. I just feel like I am falling apart." Marina explained as she looked away trying to not burst into tears.

"What happened to your legs?"

This set her completely off as she cried into her hands. "I cut myself with my exact-o knife."

Peabody looked at her in shock. He felt his heart ache and his stomach twist. "You did this to yourself?" He whispered.

Marina just nodded as she continued to cry. Peabody looked at Sherman who looked very worried. Peabody sat next to Marina and wrapped his arms around her shaking form. Marina laid her head on his shoulder as she continued to cry. Sherman climbed onto the couch and snuggled into Marina's side much like he did the other night. The three of them sat there, completely unaware of how much time was passing. It was silent apart from Marina's sniffles. They were all together, they were all safe, and that's all that mattered.

(Hey everyone. I hope you liked the chapter! This was extremely angsty so I hope you enjoyed it. X3 I am gonna try to get another chapter up tomorrow. I can't guarantee it, but it is a possibility.)