"… Pardon me?"

I'm dumbfounded by what Alice has just said to me.

"Well," Alice starts, her voice placating as she notes our lack of enthusiasm, "all the people from school and stuff want to see you, and Edward's family and some of his friends want to see him, so we figured that we could have a small party here to celebrate…"

"That's a fucking terrible idea," Edward responds at once. "I can't think of anything I'd hate more than being surrounded by a bunch of vultures who just want information and to tell us how brave we are."

"Edward!" Esme cries. "Firstly, do not use that language in front of ladies! I raised you better than that, and you are not too old for me to take you over my knee."

I try hard not to laugh at the image of that.

"Secondly, your family and friends were worried sick about you when you were missing, and I think it would be nice for them to get a chance to see you. Lord knows I didn't believe you were safe until I saw it myself."

The last sentence affects me in a way their previous words did not. I know the terror of feeling like Edward is missing and not knowing if he is safe or not, and I would never want anyone else to feel that way.

"Bella, what do you think, sweetheart?"

"I think…" I look at Edward, trying to gauge just how opposed to this is he is. There is a resignation about him, as if he already knows that this is going to happen at some point.

"I think that it sounds nice. But, I have to ask that it's not too big, if that's ok."

Esme's face lights up, and Alice claps her hands together.

"Of course, Bella. Whatever you want or need, we'll do it. I was thinking a barbeque on the patio with our friends and family, maybe something in a pool party for you kids."

"Oh!" Alice cries, apparently inspired. "We can hang lanterns! I can see it now…"

Her and Esme drift into their own conversation about decorating and food while I focus my attentions on Edward. I lean forward so that my head is almost on his shoulder. His massaging on my legs has gotten firmer, so I can tell he's annoyed.

"Are you ok?"

He sighs.

"I just think this is a bad idea. Everyone's going to be talking about us, and asking questions, and I don't want you to go through that."

Of course he's making this about me.

"Edward, they're not expecting a press conference. They're worried about us, and maybe seeing us will help them feel better… and plus, it's going to be small, just close people. Esme and Alice want to do this, I think we should let them."

"Fuck what they want, I'm worried about you."

I wrap my fingers around his bicep, trying to sooth his irritation.

"I just think that they deserve to see us. I know what it's like to worry about you when you're not around, and that's only when it's for a few minutes or a few hours. They haven't seen you or known you're ok for months. I can't imagine that kind of stress."

He sighs.

"That's a fair point. But, we'll do this our way, yes?"

"Of course."

I turn back to Esme and Alice and smile. They look like they're about to start bouncing like excited puppies at our acquiescence.

"So when are you planning this?"I ask.

"Well, tomorrow is Friday, so I was thinking tomorrow night."

I hear Edward groan under his breath and fight back a smile.

"Ok… it will be small though?"

"Sure, not a problem," Alice chips in, then takes Esme's hand and leads her back to the house to lay their plans. I settle back into the chair and Edward falls sideways, his head resting on my thigh.

He exhales heavily, and I smile as I run my fingers through his soft hair.

"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," he grumbles.

"It will be fine," I assure him. I feel his cheeks lift as he smirks.

"Stop stealing my line."

"You don't own it."

"… How much does it cost to copyright something?"

I laugh and allow myself to sink back into our bubble.

The house has a manic air about it on Friday. Edward and I try as hard as we can to just stay out of the way, so we spend a lot of the day in his room. Eventually, Alice drags me out, forcing me into my bedroom to be primped. She knows that I'm fully capable of doing it myself, but I suspect she wants to hang out, and this is the only way she can separate me from Edward.

I feel bad, but at the same time, I don't particularly like being away from him. I think she knows this, so she locks both doors to our shared bathroom so that he has no means of entering.

"So," she starts as she fluffs my hair yet again. Her voice has a smug quality that puts me instantly on edge. "What's going on?"

"We're getting ready for a party," I state dully.

"You know that's not what I mean," she huffs, tugging on my hair slightly harder than she needs to. "What's going on with you and Edward?"

"Nothing," I answer too quickly.

"Bullshit. Are you honestly telling me that you don't think he's hot? Because if you're not interested…" She trails off suggestively. I can't help the scowl that flashes across my face and she smiles.

"Relax, babe, I'm just kidding. Edward is so not my type. He's too brooding and volatile." My scowl deepens as she puts him down.

"Can we talk about something else, please?"

"Sure we can," she says cheerfully, ignoring my irritation. "Let's talk about whatever was going on between you two at the pool yesterday?"

"Alice, drop it."

"Bella…" her voice is serious now, all traces of teasing gone. "I know that… you've changed since it all happened, but we're best friends. We used to tell each other everything, and now I feel like I don't even know you."

"Maybe you don't," I snap without thinking. She steps away from me, her face stricken. I feel awful.

"Alice, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." I sigh and try to think of a way to explain this to her. "It's just… everything is different now. And I wish it wasn't. Believe me. You don't know how much I wish I could be like it was, and we could talk about boys and clothes and all the things we love."

My voice breaks.

"I'm trying to be normal, but I don't know how. I don't know anything. I'm frightened all the time, and I don't trust anyone but him. Emmett went to get a drink of water the other night and I thought someone was coming to take us again! I woke Edward up, and he nearly beat up his own little brother because of me!

"I know I'm a bad friend, and I'm trying to get better, I promise, but… it's hard, Alice. It's really, really hard." Tears are streaming down my face in earnest now, pulling my mascara with them.

"Sweetie," Alice coos as she wraps her arms around my shoulders from behind me. I feel both sickened and relieved after my purge. Sickened for revealing my weakness, but relieved to get even a fraction of my fears and concerns off my shoulders. Alice holds me until I calm myself, and then helps me fix my makeup.

We can hear the doorbell ringing and people moving about downstairs, so we dress and head down. Edward meets me at the top of the stairs, eying me like he can tell that I've been upset. Alice darts down, leaving the two of us alone. It feels like a pre-game team meeting.

"Are you ok?" he asks, and I feel his hand on the small of my back, as if he can somehow detect my lies using his touch.

I nod silently, because I will be, if he doesn't bring it up again.

He lets go of my waist and grabs my hand.

"And you're sure you want to do this?" he clarifies. I roll my eyes in feigned annoyance.

"Yes, Edward. Come on, your mother and Alice organised this for us, so let's try to enjoy it."

"There's an effort that'll fail before it starts," he grumbles and I elbow him in the ribs then start down the stairs. Our linked hands mean that he has to follow behind. He does so, but walks so slowly that I feel like I'm dragging him every step of the way.

We eventually make it out the back door, and as soon as I see the crowd, I stop in my tracks. Edward smacks into my back as I tighten my grasp on his hand to a near painful degree. I seriously consider running from the scene before us, but Esme sees us before I get the chance. I absently wonder just how much beige she owns.

"There you two are!" she cries, "I was wondering if you were ever going to arrive!"

As if on cue, the entire party turns to look at us. No one approaches though. I lean back into Edward and he places his free hand on the curve of my lower back, his fingertips digging into the fabric of my dress. I feel like a zoo exhibit.

I recognise some of the faces, Charlie is present with his girlfriend Sue, and some of my school friends are here. That said, the majority of the fifty-plus people are completely unknown to me.

Edward was right. This is a bad idea. I should have trusted him.

"It's ok," he murmurs in my ear. "We can do this. Just for a little while, and then we can go upstairs."

I almost sigh out loud when he mentions the idea of us going away and being alone.

"Come on, sweetheart," Esme says softly, and coaxes my stiff body away from Edward. I want to cry out to stop her, but I try to pull myself together. I throw him a panicked look over my shoulder. He nods, a silent reassurance then walks over to meet his father, who is standing by a grill laden with food with several other men. I say a quick hello to Charlie and Sue, who looks at me with concern and relief. She always was a lovely woman.

Alice skips over and takes my hand, then leads me to a group of familiar faces. My school friends. I struggle for a moment to remember their names. That part of my life feels so distant.

"Bella!" Jessica screams, then throws herself at me. Her arms wrap around me, and I pat her on the back with my free hand.

"Hey, Jess. How are you?"

She pulls back and looks me over appraisingly.

"I'm good… oh my god, you're thin!" She says it like I'm deserving of praise.

Alice gives her a dirty look and I fight hard against the desire to run back to Edward. My other friends take turns greeting me. Angela hugs me, more gently than Jess. Lauren gives me a somewhat sour look, and I'm not sure why she's even here. We never got along. It's probably curiosity more than anything. Mike, Eric and Tyler all wave but keep a cautious distance, for which I'm grateful.

I suspect Alice has given them a talk, because they regard me like I'm made of glass. It certainly feels that way. Jessica starts talking, and soon the others are absorbed in conversation like we're sitting around our table at lunch, and everything is exactly the same as it was.

I feel a little ill.

Sue's daughter Leah and her boyfriend Sam come over next. She pulls me away from the school crowd, and I realise that I'm probably not doing a good job of hiding how uncomfortable I am. She hugs me gently and tells me that if I need anything, she's just a phone call away. Sam smiles and reaches out to give me our usual fist-bump greeting. I hesitate, but return it, smiling involuntarily. The pair of them feel the most sincere of all the people I've spoken to tonight.

I look over to Edward, standing rigid and awkward with a group of men his father's age. He meets my eyes, and his expression is furious. I'm on edge at once.

"I'm sorry," I say to Leah and Sam, "I'll be back in a moment."

They smile and I walk quickly over to Edward, trying not to be too conspicuous. I reach him and take his hand, a silent gesture of comfort. I've seen this look on his face before, and it usually led to a beating. The thought of that terrifies me.

"Ah, so this is the girl!" A man with a southern accent gestures up and down my body with a beer bottle, spilling some of its contents in his enthusiasm. "She sure is a looker, Edward! Rather be stuck with her than someone who looks like a horse's ass! She's not 18 yet by any chance, is she?" He guffaws at his own joke. He is the only one laughing.

Edward's hand clenches around my own. I'm appalled, and feel my skin crawl under his gaze.

Carlisle clears his throat.

"Bella, this is Esme's brother, Alistair." I'm shocked that someone like this could be related to Esme.

He introduces the other men standing around. His younger brother, Liam, his brother in law, Garrett and Edward's grandfather, Ed Sr. The first two men wave and say hello, but Ed takes my free hand and bows slightly. I blush a little at the old fashioned gesture, and Alistair starts laughing loudly.

"She likes 'em old, ey? Maybe I'm in with a sportin' chance after all!" He finishes his beer and walks off, presumably looking for another.

Carlisle looks mortified.

"Bella, I can't apologise enough for that. Esme's brother is a little… unusual."

"It's fine," I say robotically. I turn to Edward, who looks murderous.

"Come on, Edward," I say, and after a moment, he looks at me. "Let's go inside and get a drink."

I tug him back into the house, knowing full well there's a drinks table outside. I walk him to the dining room, which is being used to house supplies for the evening. At least we're alone here. He's rigid, jaw clenched and shoulders stiff. I drop his hand and wrap my arms around his shoulders.

"Hey."

He says nothing.

"Edward."

He finally looks at me.

"It's ok… really. It's fine." I move my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging on it gently in a way that has soothed him in the past.

"It's not fucking fine," he growls. "I wanted to deck the motherfucker for saying that shit to you."

His propensity towards violence terrifies me.

"Please, please don't do that," I beg. Alistair is bigger than Edward, slightly taller with a solid pot belly and a thick build.

"So what, I just let him talk to you like that?" he growls.

"Yes." My voice is firm. "It's ok. He didn't hurt me… it was just really gross." I hide the extent of my discomfort because I know when Edward is like this, anything could set him off.

He exhales heavily, but loosens his posture a little, so I know he's calming down. I sigh with relief. His arms tentatively wrap around my waist and he pulls me to him, using my body to calm his rage, to reassure himself that I'm safe, and that he doesn't need to act like this. I do the same, relishing the feel of his body unwinding and relaxing.

After a few more minutes, we return to the party. Esme catches up with us, introducing me to everyone that comes within four feet of us. The majority are family members, and it seems that she has an unending list of siblings and their spouses for me to meet. Most are friendly, and only some regard Edward and I with open curiosity. I engage in as much small talk as I can, and Edward picks up the slack when I start to feel overwhelmed by the attention.

"I'm one of 6," Esme explains in between introductions.

"It took me the first 7 years of my life to get everyone's names down," Edward murmurs. "I still fuck it up every now and again." I laugh, causing Esme and one of her sisters to look at us questioningly.

He pulls me away and we take a moment to wander through the party and take a bit of a breather. I see Emmett playing in the pool with my Sue's son, Seth. This doesn't surprise me, because Seth's only a year younger than him, at thirteen. There's also a skinny blonde girl in the water. I laugh when she throws a football and hits Emmett square in the back of the head. She's in a one-piece swimsuit with her hair tied up, a tomboy if ever there was one.

"Rose," Edward calls and she looks up. "This is Bella."

"Hey, Bella!" she yells with an excited wave, just before Emmett tackles her under the water. A commotion ensues, and they both emerge a moment later, Rosalie on Emmett's back, pressing her fingers into his collar bones. Her long, gangly limbs are wrapped around him, and between the two of them, it's a mess of skinny awkward teen appendages flailing around.

"Uncle! Uncle!" he screams, and she giggles wildly. Seth watches, enthralled, and quickly throws himself into the melee.

"That's her," Edward says, and I smile. Emmett is watching on as Rosalie play fights with Seth, jealousy clear on his features. "Do you see what I mean about them now?"

"Absolutely," I agree. He's besotted with her.

Edward and I wander back up to the house in search of food. Before we reach the completely ridiculous spread Esme has put on, I hear a scream that pains me, like nails on a chalk board. Edward and I turn around to see a strawberry blonde running for us. I step out the way just as she hurls herself into Edward's arms and plants a firm kiss on his mouth. I take another step back.

"Edward!" she cries, then kisses him again. His arms are locked around her waist, supporting her, although he looks a little shell shocked. "God, I'm so glad you're safe! I rang and rang, but your mom said I couldn't come over until you were ready to see people! Ah! I'm so happy to see you! I missed you so much, I was so worried!"

I've reached my limit, and the idea of being introduced to anyone else makes me feel ill. I walk back into the house and seek out the bathroom. I wash my face and look at myself in the mirror, trying to force back the panic.

Of course he has a life outside you. Why are you over reacting like this? You're being a child. I continue to berate myself until I hear someone knocking on the bathroom door. I abruptly realise I've been in here for an inordinate amount of time, and hastily wipe my face off and unlock the door.

Standing in front of it is Edward's uncle Alistair. He laughs, low and throaty, when he sees me.

"Well, lookee here," he says, his eyes darkening with something I can't bear to think about. "Fancy running into you."