Sorry for delay of this chapter. It has actually been written for awhile but I have been searching for a beta for this, but due to time differences between countries etc it is a very slow moving process. Still in search of a beta but got sick having to wait to post this, so for now you'll all just have to put up with just me proof reading my own work. Thus, hopefully there will be a beta for the next chapter!
A little bit frustrating not having a beta for this chapter - I was very worried about some if Fenris' dialogue, that maybe I had gone a bit too OOC. Please let me know if i have -_-
Bioware owns all yada yada.
Please R&R :D :D :D
Fenris found himself outside the Grey Warden Compound again only two days later, having been driven from Brass Arms by Isabela's bawdy behavior as she detailed one of their more…unfortunate adventures. Both Hawke and himself had quickly found themselves the source of laughter, the Champion sinking into his chair trying to be invisible as his lover began another tale of shame. She was merciless. Fenris had left the tavern scowling – there was only so much mockery he could take before he had to hurt somebody, and he was drawing close to that line.
He flexed his gauntleted hand as he inspected the gates to the Compound, his eyes drawn to the large heraldry that hung above the gates. A giant silver griffon stared down at him, rearing up on its hind legs and its front talons poised to lash out at its enemy. It was crafted in great detail; everything from its cruel looking beak to the feathers of its extended wings was intricate, trying to do justice to the creature that had once populated the skies. The Brass Arms' owner had insisted that every visitor to Denerim had to at least see the gates to the Warden Compound and the silver griffon that guarded them. The griffon was certainly impressive; though in his opinion it was also rather gaudy.
He had come here with the hopes of being able to visit the library, and had it not been for their meeting with the Warden-Commander a few days before he may have returned the next day; but a part of him felt uneasy returning right after telling the dalish woman that her clan was dead. It also did not help that that night he had turned around after they left her office and had caught a glimpse of her tear-filled eyes before the door had closed. Inexplicably that brief glimpse had troubled him – he had wanted to walk back into the room and console her, tell her it would all be all right and wipe the tears from her eyes.
He was not used to those sorts of desires. His was a world of blood and battle – surviving one day to the next with only his sword and his wit to keep him alive. There had never been room for these sorts of thoughts and emotions while he had been on the run. While in recent times since the death of Danarius there had not been much need for him to keep vigil, all those years of being pursued had taken a toll on his emotional state. He was slow to make friends, and even slower to let people close. Hawke was his only confidant. Thus his sudden unfathomable need to comfort the Commander troubled him.
He brushed his concerns aside as he walked through the gates of the compound, ignoring the guard, Whitby, as he glared at the passing elf. He tried to recall the tour Bethany had given them a few days before as he wandered the halls, searching for the warden's library. Eventually he had found it, after begrudgingly asking a warden where the library was.
He stood in the doorway to the large room, once again marveling at all the books there. He hurried over the closest set of shelves, running a hand gently along the spines of the books before pulling one out. The smell of leather and dust hit his nose as he opened the book; it creaked softly as it revealed its pages to his eyes. He felt as little shiver of excitement up his spine as he ran a hand lightly across the yellow pages. In the back of his mind he dimly noted that Varric would have a fit of laughter if he could see Fenris now. He closed the book in his hands and placed it back to its position on the shelf. He wandered idly down through the shelves and shelves of books, lost in his own little world. The wardens' library had books on a whole manner of topics. Everything from poems to stories, ramblings of the mad and the religious and books that covered the history of all the nations – with an exceptionally large proportion devoted to Grey Warden history in particular.
Curiously, Fenris pulled out a book about Tevinter, allowing the book to fall open on a page detailing one of the many Exalted Marches that had been declared against the Imperium during the Black Age. He began to read where he stood, quickly losing himself in the text before his eyes, devouring the information bared before his eyes.
"Are you interested in the Imperium?" a voice asked near him.
Fenris looked up from the book to regard the one who had interrupted his reading. A familiar elf stood before him dressed in the telltale blue and white wardens uniform. He narrowed his eyes at the other elf, trying to place where he had seen the man before. He then noticed the staff visible over the elf's shoulder. Mage. He was the one whom he had meet in the alley on his first night in Denerim, whose sister had been attacked by slavers. What was his name? Lenard? Lester? Leland? That was it, Leland.
He gave a small inclination of his head, "Leland."
The mage smiled slightly, pleased at being remembered, "I thought it was you. Not many white-haired elves around, well ones that aren't old anyway. You reading up on the Imperium?"
Fenris glanced down at the book in his hands, "I am."
"The Imperium is really fascinating, I think it would be a great place to live, aside from all the slavery though of course." Leland said, "I never did get to thank you properly for helping with my sister. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't of been there to help distract them."
"No thanks is required. I have my own grievances against slavers." He said somewhat coldly, hoping that the mage would take the hint and leave him alone. By now he normally would have either stormed off or would be in the midst of arguing with the mage. Only his respect for the wardens had prevented him from doing so now.
Leland, however, didn't pick up the subtle message, "Oh really?" he said, perking up a little, "What happened?"
"It is none of your concern." Fenris replied frostily.
"Ok then, I won't ask." The mage said, shifting on the spot. "If you want to learn more about the Imperium you should read one of Brother Genetivi's works." He continued eagerly, "He has a lot of information about the Imperium's culture and social hierarchies. Much more interesting and enlightening than that old history book."
Fenris couldn't help but scowl, "I am far too familiar with both the culture and the hierarchies for my own liking."
Leland's eyes open wide "You've been to Tevinter?" Fenris nodded hesitantly, "What was it like? Did you like it there? Is Minrathous really as beautiful as they describe?" The elven mage continued to bombard with questions, oblivious to the white-haired elf's growing irritation.
"Stop pestering me with your questions." Fenris growled, his patience finally snapping, "Why are you bothering me with all your inane questions? What is it you want to know? What is Tevinter like? It's hot, full of corrupt magisters and mistreated slaves. Did you know there are more slaves than free men in Tevinter? Did you know that magisters treat slaves like nothing more than livestock? Using them to power their spells, using their blood like a commodity. The magisters are only concerned about their own well-being and their pointless politics and could not give a fig about the slaves." He hissed, "We are beaten, we are abused, forced to hurt each other and watch the ones we care about destroyed before our eyes. Not enough food, not enough sleep and punished for even the slightest of mistakes. What is so wonderful about a country that has been built on the blood, sweat and tears of hundreds of thousands of slaves? A country that has been fueled by the greedy and the corrupt alike?"
Leland took a step back at Fenris' outburst; his hands held up in a defensive gesture, "I didn't me–"
The ex-slave cut him off, "And you said you wanted to live in such a place. You mages are all the same, power hungry and willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that power. You give a mage a chance at freedom and you'll abuse your power and turn all of Thedas into the Imperium. Blood magic, consorting with demons; deny it all you want, mages will always find a way to justify their need for power."
The warden mage's face had darkened, his eyes flashing as he glared up at the taller elf, "Now you look here." Leland began, pointing a finger accusingly at Fenris, "I don't know what your hang up is about mages, but just because I am a mage doesn't mean I use blood magic or consort with demons – the same can be said for any mage. We are oppressed enough as it is and we can do without people like you who condemn us for what we are, it's not like we have any control over whether we can use magic or not."
"I have heard it all before, "Fenris retorted sharply, "and have seen with my own eyes the very mages who preached such things resort to blood magic or become abominations themselves."
Lightning ran up Leland's arms as he fought to control his temper, Fenris allowed his lyrium brands to glow in response. The two elves glared at each other, each of them brimming with hostility toward the other. Unbeknownst to them a small crowd had surrounded them, drawn by the angry, raised voices that had echoed around the normally quiet library. Bethany pushed her way through the crowd and hurried forward to stand between the too.
"Both of you calm down." She said sternly, glowering at them both, "You're behaving like children."
Leland stared at the other mage before taking a deep breath and calming himself enough to quell his magic. Bethany's head then whipped around to Fenris, silently glaring at him.
"Fenris." She warned, ignoring the elf as he growled a little.
He met her gaze and he suddenly remembered where he was and what he was doing. The blue glow faded from his skin, the crowd murmuring softly to each other at the bizarre spectacle. Fenris sneered at the elven mage before turning on his heel and stalking out of the library, feeling very much a fool. He ignored Bethany's calls after him, trying to put as much distance between himself and Leland as possible. However, he quickly grew lost within the confines of the compound, having paid no heed to where he had been walking. He found himself in small courtyard containing an even smaller manicured garden with stone benches.
He collapsed on one of the benches and realized he had taken the book from the library with him. He carefully placed the leather volume on the bench beside him – he would return it later. He buried his face into his hands as he tried to calm himself. It had been a long time since he had gotten this worked up about mages, he felt somewhat ashamed of himself for allowing his emotions to get the better of him. No matter how much he and Hawke had argued and debated, Fenris had had no luck trying to get past his hostility toward mages. It was deeply ingrained into his persona; too deep to change. He had begun to be able to tolerate them, even if just barely, and he had made an effort to be more civil than he normally was when he met mages, but it had taken just mere moments for him to return to his old habits.
He was broken out of his revere by the sound of scuffling above and he lifted his head toward the noise. "I thought it was you. What brings you here today?" The Commander asked as she half lent out of the second story window, her top half hanging out precariously. Fenris half expected the rest of her to topple out of the window any second now.
Fenris inspected her face, searching for any signs of the grief and anger she had displayed the other night, but all he could see was curiosity and a half smile she had gracing her features. "I came to visit the library." He told her; "One of the wardens and I had a…disagreement of sorts." There was no need to hide it; he was in no doubt that news of Leland's and his clash would reach her ears at some point.
A brow rose in response, "Oh aye?"
Fenris sighed and looked away. He did not wish to elaborate.
"Are you on your way home now?" She asked from her perilous position.
"I was." Fenris replied.
Sabriel smirked, "Lost again are we?"
"I am." He answered, trying to hide his embarrassment.
The Commander's torso disappeared from view and Fenris thought for a moment she might have just left him there. But she soon returned to view, adjusting a cloak she had fastened around her shoulders. Without another word she leapt nimbly down from the window, landing with a grace that would make a cat envious.
She grinned as she walked up to him, "Well then, I suppose I shall just have to lead you out. I've been told I give horrible directions so I'll just have to do it the old fashioned way." She said cheekily.
Fenris rose to his feet, grabbing the book from the bench. "If you don't m–"
He was cut off a Torsten's upper body appeared from the window Sabriel had just left from, "Commander, you need to finish these forms before you can go gallivanting about Denerim."
Sabriel pouted up at the human, "I'll do them when I get back," she told him, "I need to visit the market before the merchants close up for the day."
"But the papers need to be signed today!" Torsten said, rubbing his temples, "You can visit the market tomorrow."
Sabriel's answer was to grab Fenris' arm and start running.
Torsten yelled after the Commander but she ignored him, picking up her pace as she navigated her way through the compound. All Fenris could do was to keep up with her. He knew that if he stopped she would probably just keep running and drag him along behind her. Unfortunately each time she changed direction (which she seemed to be doing a lot) his arm felt like it was being yanked out his shoulder as his body accommodated to the unexpected change of direction. Eventually they emerged from the compound and stormed through the gates, the guard Whitby staring speechless as the Commander and Fenris sped past.