Chapter VI
They came to their settlement with the last light of the setting sun. Maglor pushed Amras to go faster when they were within the guards' reach to forewarn their brothers, so the gate waited for him wide open. The Noldor he passed followed him with their eyes, but they just stepped out of his way without a single word. Maglor didn't care, he hastened to their home; Maedhros was hallucinating again.
They had made about half of the way when it turned out that moving their wounded brother was a big mistake. Maedhros grew restless, the movement must have caused him pain or arouse bad memories, because he pleaded them to stop and his unseeing eyes wandered again. Maglor could either stop and set a camp in the middle of nowhere or swallow his brother's moans and continue travelling. They decided with Amras to go on, so that Maedhros would soon be in Alcarino's care.
The singer expected his brothers to come forward, but only Caranthir met him by the gate. He was panting slightly and was dressed in working clothes stained with lime. Celegorm and Curufin were waiting by the house and Amras was nowhere in sight.
Maglor dismounted, led the horses to the doors and only then he realised his younger brothers were still standing, stunned.
"Tyelko, help me," he ordered. "We will take him with those blankets, hold the front. Moryo, grab the other side and I will untie it all. Where's Amras?"
"Making the bed with Tyelpe."
"Good." Maglor mustered some energy when he saw his brothers were too dazed to organize themselves. "Has anyone told Alcarino we're coming? No? Curvo, go and fetch him. Alright, now careful with his hand..."
Maglor was surprised he found some strength to order his brothers around. Together they carried Maedhros to a room and placed him on the bed. The rumour around him woke the wounded, but if Maglor hoped that familiar voices of his brothers would call him back, he misjudged. Maedhros followed them all with his unseeing eyes and escaped from any kind of touch, so before Alcarino came, Maglor was yet again sitting and holding the wounded, while his brothers stood confused, not knowing what to do.
Curufin led Alcarino and the healer, along with Maglor, took care of the wounded elf with terrifying ease. Caranthir was not needed, as Amras fussing around was more than enough, so he got out of the way and just stared. He looked as if through a thick glass, as if all that he had within his hand's reach was in fact farther away.
Caranthir remembered when they rescued their father. Maedhros attacked their enemy so fiercely that the orcs fled before him and the fiery beasts left too, and so the sons regained Feanor, but it was too late for him. They dressed his wounds, Maedhros insisted, but Father wouldn't let them disarm him. They carried him with his sword by his side. He was dying for a few hours, they knew that, just like he did, then he made them stop, vanquished and burned.
This elf here, this skeleton with paper-thin skin, was dying for the third week. Or was it longer? Caranthir had an absurd feeling that he would not stand it if Maglor called this wreck Maitimo one more time. To be honest, he felt betrayed. Where was Maitimo? This elf here could not be him, even the colour of his hair was wrong, it wasn't the deep copper of their Russandol... And Maglor said he would bring him back home, he sent Amras to warn them, he made fuss... And now he was keeping that lie he had been feeding them for the past three weeks. What had Fingolfin done to delude him so?
The wounded was quiet at first, but when Alcarino and Maglor started redressing his wounds, his features tightened with pain and the moan that escaped his lips was something Caranthir had never heard, though he had already fought one battle. He thought he knew what the Enemy's servants were capable of, but now he realised how wrong he was. With every uncovered bandage he was more and more aware just what exactly Morgoth's subjects could do with an elf if they wished. Because Caranthir had no doubts that this wounded creature was an elf.
And then the elf opened his eyes – big, hollow, shining. Grey, just like his own. Caranthir saw the brother he was desperately waiting for.
"Maitimo..." he groaned. The name seemed to break the spell that made him unable to move. "Maitimo!"
"Yes, Moryo, that's our Maitimo," Maglor confirmed sadly.
Caranthir came closer, at first overwhelmed, but the longer he looked at the weakly struggling elf and kept finding proofs that this was indeed Maedhros, the more his heart froze. And then it burst with boiling hatred, heated with every moan and sob of the wounded. Caranthir spat curses at the Enemy, ones he had no idea he knew and probably couldn't repeat later. His world narrowed to what was left of their beloved, beautiful Maitimo and to the Enemy hundreds of miles away.
"Morifinwe, that's enough!"
Strong, cool order from Alcarino made him stop mid-sentence like a slap. Next thing he knew was Celegorm grabbing him tightly by his arms and immobilizing him. Caranthir reacted involuntarily.
"Let go of me!" he shouted and struggled, though he knew he had no chance with his elder brother. "Don't you see what they've done to him?!"
"Yes, I do, so let us help him," retorted Celegorm sharply. "Get out and calm down."
"You cannot order..." Caranthir stopped, because his raised voice made Maedhros struggle in panic, making it impossible for Alcarino to remove the dressings from his shoulder.
"You will get out or I will make you," repeated Celegorm firmly and true to his words forced his younger brother through the doors.
Caranthir broke free from his grip and stormed through the corridor. He needed some air, he felt like he was suffocating, raging, his blood seemed to be boiling in his veins. He stopped once he was outside and only then he realised that Celegorm followed him instead of staying.
"I'll kill them'," growled Caranthir, knowing his brother could hear him. "Every orc, every Balrog, every filthy creature that dares to stick out a nose from Angbando. Let them perish, let Ulmo drown them in his waters," he kept muttering as he paced nervously. If he could, if he knew where to go, he would have jumped on his horse and gone hunting. He loathed helplessness and shame and self-contempt made him restless.
"You will not be alone in this, trust me," hissed Celegorm; he was controlling himself just a bit better than his brother. "But not now, right now we are needed here. Calm down."
"I can'!" Caranthir turned with sped that surprised Celegorm and his fist collided violently with the freshly bleached wall so strongly that his knuckles went numb. How could he go back there and watch Maedhros, knowing he had done nothing to spare him tortures, and now couldn't even bring him trophies of his revenge? 'As if it could change anything,' he reflected grimly as soon as the thought crossed his mind.
Celegorm grabbed his wrist again before Caranthir damaged his hand with another blow. He said nothing, just stared until his younger brother relaxed his tensed muscles.
"Don't think I don't wish to grab my sword," said Celegorm and let go of him. "But not now, Moryo."
Caranthir only nodded, unsure if he could stop himself from cursing if he opened his mouth. Instead, he just massaged his sore knuckles, wincing at the sight of fresh blood on the white wall.
"Shall we?" asked Celegorm after a while. "I don't know how about you, but I'd rather know why Makalaure has brought Maitimo today with no warning. Have you seen Alcarino? He's not pleased."
Caranthir didn't see, but he just nodded again, because his brother was right. Something was wrong here.
"Go change your clothes, because Alcarino will throw you out once he gets a closer look," added Celegorm, reminding him he was still wearing working clothes stained with lime. "I'll wait for you."
By the doors they passed Celebrimbor, who, rather green on his face, ran hastily to the forge. Caranthir did as his brother told him and went to his room to get rid of his dirty clothes. He grabbed a clean shirt and took a moment to smooth his loose braid, forcing himself to calm down with every movement, though he wished he could grab his sword instead of a comb.
Celegorm was waiting for him at the corridor and Caranthir felt his gaze on himself, before his elder brother nodded approvingly and allowed him to go back to Maedhros. Amras ceased hustling and was sitting at the windowsill, Curufin passed them with a bowl of fresh water. The healer was bandaging Maedhros's torso and he just glanced at the sons of Feanor, but said nothing, seeing they were relatively calm. Maglor was muttering something soothingly and he quieted only when Celegorm spoke.
"I think you owe us some explanation, Makalaure," he remarked.
"And I hope you had good reasons to justify this journey, Kanafinwe," Alcarino added abruptly. "You risked a lot, Nelyafinwe is not strong enough yet to take such ride well, as you might have seen."
Maglor would have to be blind to not see it; for the past quarter Alcarino had been pointing several wounds that worsened since he had last seem Maedhros. The singer glanced at his younger brothers, staring at him expectantly, then his elder, cuddled closely to him. In a few short words he explained what happened after he came back to their uncle's settlement and how badly Maedhros reacted to his absence.
"Turukano suggested it would be better to kill Maitimo rather than make him live in torment," he added at last.
"He wouldn't dare...!" whispered Amras, shocked, but there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice.
"If only he tried!" Caranthir exploded again, but Celegorm warningly placed his heavy hand on his arm.
"Shhhh!" hissed Amras disapprovingly, seeing the wounded struggled and moaned softly.
"No, I guess he wouldn't," admitted Maglor. Now, when he was among his brothers, when he had Maedhros back home, he could see how uncomfortable the journey must have been, the whole idea made much less sense than before.
"Turukano was wrong." Alcarino joined their conversation. He finished bandaging and covered Maedhros with a blanket. "Your decision was unwise, Kanafinwe, but the consequences are not severe. Don't lose hope."
"Maitimo's home. Even if we have to wait I don't know how long, he won't be alone." Curufin, silent so far, spoke suddenly. He knelt beside the bed and gently kissed his eldest brother's hand.
"Just keep quiet," Alcarino reminded them one more time. "Maitimo needs to rest."
The healer left and thick silence fell between the brothers. Maglor remained on the bed, humming softly, though his throat was raw to the point he was barely audible; but it was enough for the wounded to relax finally and fell asleep.
"How?" asked Amras abruptly. He was still sitting at the windowsill, his eyes never off his two eldest brothers. " How could he survive this?" His voice broke.
Maglor raised his head to look at his brothers. They stood, not knowing what to do. Only Curufin bustled around, unable to hold his hands still; he kept shifting the herbs left by the healer rather than putting them in order. But Maedhros was sleeping and Maglor didn't really feel like standing and going to find some occupation for his brothers; he had no answer for Amras.
Alcarino's return broke the stupor. The healer passed the brothers and gave Maglor a mug.
"Drink before you lose your voice completely."
"Thank you." The singer took a sip, but he recognized the sleeping draught; he has been giving it to Maedhros too often not to see it.
"Drink," repeated Alcarino. "I will stay with Nelyafinwe till morning with one of your brothers. You are going to sleep."
"I am not going anywhere," said Amras at once, when Maglor hesitated over his mug. "Go get some rest, Kano."
Maglor surrendered and emptied the mug with a few sips. He rose on his feet a bit unsteadily and allowed Celegorm to put an arm around him, to lead him to the doors, as if not wanting to leave any space for second thoughts.
"If Nelyo hallucinates or tosses again, wake me up," ordered Maglor at the doorstep. "But don't bind him with anything."
Four brothers stared back at him with resentment at such thought.
"What?!"
"Just go to sleep, Makalaure." Celegorm pushed him through the doors. "You're making no sense."
They left together and Celegorm guided him straight to his bed. Maglor didn't hear when his brother left his room.