A/N: Some humor for this week's update :D
DISCLAIMER: I do not own SKU or Uptown Funk, and thank goodness I don't.
Act 2 Scene 5
It was the usual Ohtori Academy ball, full of Nanami pranking unsuspecting students, ChuChu getting drunk on champagne, and Utena dancing chivalrously with Anthy. Acting Chairman and official pimp of Ohtori, one Akio, was getting a little bored. So he called on his trusty bros, the Student Council President and Vice President, Touga and Saionji. After promising Kanae a kiss if she DJ'd the sound system, the three primped in preparation. Then, before anyone could fathom what was occurring, a big band sound blared from the speakers.
Walking out on the dance floor, Akio dead center, they began to perform.
"Doh! Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh,
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh,
Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh,
Doh doh doh, doh duh…" They chanted.
"Aaaaaaooooooooooow!" Akio screamed.
"What is that?" Utena said, her jaw dropping open at the sight of Akio, Touga, and Saionji in street clothes and gold chains.
"I'm not quite sure, Miss Utena," Anthy replied vapidly.
"Some sort of jazz, I believe, Miss Anthy," Miki said. They looked back towards the wild performance that was going on.
"This hit, that ice cold,
The Rose Bride, that pink gold,
This one, for them duelists
Them masochists
Straight basket cases!" Their dance was perfectly synchronized. Utena blushed at the wink Akio sent her way, and Juri rolled her eyes, trying to pull Miki away from the ludicrous sight to preserve his innocence.
"Stylin', whilin',
Livin' it up in Ohtori
Got a rose crest on and a bouffant,
Sister kissed myself I'm too pretty!" Akio did a fancy spin.
"I'm too hot!" he yelled.
"Hot damn!" called back Touga and Saionji.
"Called the shadow girls like I can,
I'm too hot!"
"Hot damn!"
"Make a prince want to retire, man,
I'm too hot!"
"Hot damn!"
"Say my name, you know who I am,
I'm too hot!"
"Hot damn!"
"Am I bad 'bout eternity,
Break it down!" They chorused.
"It's Dios, yell hallelujah!"
"Whoo!" everyone yelled back.
"It's Dios, yell hallelujah!"
"Whoo!"
"It's Dios, yell hallelujah!"
"Whoo!"
"'Cause Akio gonna give it to you!
'Cause Akio gonna give it to you!
'Cause Akio gonna give it to you!
Saturday night, and we're in the spot,
Don't believe me, just watch!"
"Come on!" Touga and Saionji refrained. Suddenly, all of the Ohtori student body, even the duelists, was dancing altogether, choreography perfected.
"Doh! Doh doh doh, doh doh doh doh doh," they chanted.
"Hah!" Utena sang.
"Don't believe me, just watch," Akio crooned.
"Doh! Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh!"
"Hah!"
"Don't believe me, just watch!
Don't believe me, just watch!
Don't believe me, just watch!
Don't believe me, just watch!
Hey, hey, hey, oh!"
"Stop!" Akio yelled.
"Wait a minute!
Fill my arena, put some duelists in it!
Have a fight, emotional wreck,
Tsuwabuki! Get the stretch!" He grooved to the Music, and over to Utena. She started dancing with him shyly as Anthy looked on. Juri, who was restraining Miki on the sidelines, sighed. They were in deep trouble.
"Ride to the Arena, the Rose Garden, that piano of Miki's!
If we show up, we gonna show out,
Smoother than a planetarium, all trippy!" The horrific mess of bodies jamming out on the dance floor was truly frightening. Juri tried not to gag as she saw Touga flirting and girls glomping onto Saionji.
"I'm too hot!"
"Hot damn!"
"Called the shadow girls like I can,
I'm too hot!"
"Hot damn!"
"Make a prince want to retire, man,
I'm too hot!"
"Hot damn!"
"Say my name, you know who I am,
I'm too hot!"
"Hot damn!"
"Am I bad 'bout eternity,
Break it down!"
"It's Dios, yell hallelujah!"
"Whoo!"
"It's Dios, yell hallelujah!"
"Whoo!"
"It's Dios, yell hallelujah!"
"Whoo!"
"'Cause Akio gonna give it to you!
'Cause Akio gonna give it to you!
'Cause Akio gonna give it to you!
Saturday night, and we're in the spot,
Don't believe me, just watch!"
"Come on!"
"Doh! Doh doh doh, doh doh doh doh doh,"
"Hah!"
"Don't believe me, just watch,"
"Doh! Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh!"
"Hah!"
"Don't believe me, just watch!
Don't believe me, just watch!
Don't believe me, just watch!
Don't believe me, just watch!
Hey, hey, hey, oh!" Everyone suddenly stopped dancing, and Akio was in the spotlight, doing a dance solo yet again.
"Before we leave
Let me tell y'all a lil' something
Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up
Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up, uh
I said Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up
Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up!" Everyone screamed and joined in on the last verse.
"Come on, duel!
Jump on it!
If you depressed, then flaunt it
If you freak, then own it
Don't brag about it, come show me!" The crowd went wild.
"Come on, duel!
If you insane, then flaunt it
Well it's Saturday night and we're in the spot
Don't believe me, just watch.
Come on!" Juri was getting sick of this, and decided to take the matter into her own hands. She grumbled to herself. Was she the only one in this school with sense? All the time she was saving people from their stupidity. Of course Touga turned out looking even more dashing with the scars on his cheekbones. Ugh. Ridiculous.
"Doh! Doh doh doh, doh doh doh doh doh,"
"Hah!"
"Don't believe me, just watch,"
"Doh! Doh doh doh, doh doh doh, doh doh!"
"Hah!"
"Don't believe me, just watch!
Don't believe me, just watch!
Don't believe me, just watch!
Don't believe me, just watch!
Hey, hey, hey, oh!" Juri was nearing the sound system.
"Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up!
Say what?
Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up!
Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up!
Say what?
Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up!
Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up!
Say what?
Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up!
Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up!
Say what?
Akio funk you up, Akio funk you up!" And at that moment, Juri kissed Kanae to distract her and unplugged the speaker cords. The music was cut off abruptly, and everyone else was shell shocked.
"Aaaaaaaooooooow!" Shiori yelled. She suddenly saw Juri still kissing Kanae and froze. Everyone started exiting the room. Kanae pulled away, embarrassed. Shiori left in a rage. Juri was left more or less by herself, Miki patting her shoulder. Why was it always Juri?