A/N: Thanks for the reviews! :)

risi: Yeah, Harry's still a bit confused. Now both Ginny and Harry will have the time to think about their relationship and... I'm not telling anything yet! ;)

Guest: Haha, I agree! I have a bit of an issue with the chapter lengths, some of them just turn out short and some of them, well, never-ending :D I'm trying to balance them, but I just can't seem to do it.

Chapter 7: The New Method

Harry was nervous. No — that was an understatement. Harry was — what? — horrified, maybe. It was time for their first Occlumency lesson with the new method and he was reluctantly walking towards the dungeons.

Ginny had been sorry to hear the news. Harry wasn't excited about them either but somehow he found that he felt quite… relieved, actually. Not about the time he would have to spend with Snape but about that he wouldn't have to spend with Ginny. He felt bad about feeling that way but couldn't really help it. They hadn't talked much after the awkward fight and Harry couldn't bring himself to apologize. He should have wanted to.

"Oh no, Harry," Ron had said as he had told about his Christmas-to-be. "I'm so sorry mate. It's fucked up that you have to spend your holiday with the greasy git!"

"Ron!" Hermione had snapped. "It's important that Harry finally learns Occlumency!"

"Yeah," Harry had said. "Hope it wouldn't be with Snape, though."

"We should stay, too," Hermione had said.

"No, you shouldn't," Harry had answered. "I'm gonna practice the whole time anyway. You should go."

Ron and Hermione had agreed reluctantly.

Snape had been abnormally cool during their discussion. He hadn't insulted Harry in any way — he hadn't really even spoken to Harry. It was disturbing, really. On top of that, Harry had begun thinking about the thing with Pensieve. It haunted him. Why hadn't he apologized for it before? It was so stupid. He didn't want Snape to think he didn't regret the thing.

Maybe I should apologize.

The thought made Harry feel even more terrified. Snape would be nasty and cruel and insulting. That's nothing unusual, though, he thought and decided to start with and apology.

As he knocked the door of Snape's office, the door opened. Harry stepped inside, still worried about what was to come.

"Well, well, well" he heard a silky smooth voice greet him, "if it is not the savior of the wizarding world."

"Good evening, sir," Harry said. He wanted to keep his temper under control. "I wanted to… um, I mean… I want to apologize for invading your privacy in fifth year. It was wrong and I'm sorry though I know you won't believe it, sir," Harry blurted. That was not how he had planned to apologize.

Snape smirked. "That's a well-rehearsed speech, Potter. I suppose you have spent these two years practicing it. Do you really assume that apologizing will help?"

"I hoped it might," Harry said, trying to feel confident. "After all, it's all I can do now."

"Is it, really?" Snape's voice sent shivers down Harry's spine. It was too soft and deadly calm.

"If there's anything else I can do, sir, just let me know."

"How very Gryffindor of you," Snape said. He didn't insult Harry. He didn't say Harry was stupid and arrogant like his father had been. He didn't call him insufferable brat or idiot.

"As you surely recall, Headmaster has decided we need to take a different approach on Occlumency," Snape finally said. "As your skills seem to be… minimal, I think we should start with learning to clear your mind. It seems that this, however, is unusually difficult for you, and so we need to begin with the very basics. You need to be in touch with your emotions in order to be able to control them."

"I am in touch with my emotions," Harry said rather angrily.

"Are you, now? It does not seem so."

Harry didn't say anything.

"I am only trying to help you shield your mind, you idiot boy," Snape sighed. "If we choose to train this way, there has to be certain amount of… trust." Snape sounded disgusted by the thought. "You must be able to relax in my company, to search and learn about your emotions and how to push them aside."

"I don't know if that's possible, sir," Harry answered.

"We will try," Snape said dryly. Harry was astonished by the fact that Snape hadn't lost his temper just yet. "I will try to be more… "

"friendly," Harry asked hopefully.

"Well, let's just say civil," Snape said. "I require the same of you."

Harry was at loss for words. Snape was trying to act civil with him. What has happened, Harry thought. It's impossible.

"Thank you, professor," he said quietly. "I appreciate it."

"I'm not doing it for you," Snape snapped. "It has to be done in order to teach a single thing about Occlumency for the likes of you."

Harry couldn't help grinning.

"These lessons will be confidential. I suppose you understand what that means. Now," Snape said, clearing his throat, "let's start with a relaxing rehearsal. Lie down."

"On the floor," Harry asked, confused.

"No, you imbecile! On the blankets."

So much about being civil, then, Harry thought as Snape gestured him to a corner where there was a comfortable-looking pile of blankets. Harry lied down on his back awkwardly.

"Close your eyes," Snape said.

Harry did as told.

"Can you describe how you feel?"

"Yes," Harry answered.

"Then please do so," Snape said, sounding irritated.

"Um, well…" He didn't want to talk about feelings to Snape.

"For Merlin's sake, Potter! I'm not going to insult you," Snape said as though he had just read Harry's mind.

"I was just thinking," Harry snapped.

"Really? How interesting. I didn't know you were capable of such behavior."

"You told me you wouldn't insult me!"

"And I will not."

"You just did, professor," Harry almost yelled.

Snape sighed heavily. "I want this to work as much as you do, Potter."

Harry fell quiet. He thought about how he felt. Annoyed, nervous and… surprised. Yes, that was the world. Snape wasn't civil — not really — but he behaved a lot better than Harry had expected.

"Well," Harry began. "I feel a bit annoyed and… nervous (he gritted his teeth at this, waiting for the insult that never came) and surprised, too."

"And why do you feel annoyed, nervous and surprised," Snape asked. He wasn't mocking Harry. He sounded almost… well, civil.

"You really want me to tell, professor?"

"Why else would I have asked? Yes, Potter, I want you to tell me. Please enlighten me."

"I'm a bit annoyed because of… well, you know… um, we don't really… get along. I feel nervous because this is new to me and… and I'm really very sorry about the thing with the Pensieve and that I haven't apologized for it before… And I'm surprised because you really are more civil then usually."

"Well, then," Snape said. Harry was really confused that Snape didn't insult him. "Try to focus on these feelings. Try to really feel them."

Harry tried.

"Can you describe these feelings to me?"

"I don't know. It's just weird."

"I know it is, Potter."

"Why can't professor Dumbledore teach me this? I mean, it feels so, well, wrong with you. The two of us don't usually talk about my feelings. I'm not sure if I can." And I don't want to. You would use it against me.

"The Headmaster has more pressing matters at the moment. Furthermore, he seemed to find it useful that we are not… well acquainted. Have you heard the term 'therapy'?"

"Umm, well, yes. It's a way of dealing with… um, psychological issues and mental health. It's mental healing stuff that muggles use."

"And not only muggles, either," the Potions Master said. "Wizards use this, ah, mental healing stuff as well. It, indeed, is a way to try to balance one's psyche. It is considered very important that the therapist and the patient don't know each other before the treatment. There will be no prejudices or any pressure for the patient to impress the therapist. Professor Dumbledore thought that we would have a similar benefit here."

"So we're trying to balance my psyche?"

"That couldn't harm," Snape smirked. "But it was just a metaphor. You must be connected with your feelings in order to master Occlumency. I'm not a therapist and I do not wish to be. I'm only trying to help you learn about your feelings."

"That's quite private," Harry muttered.

"I agree," Snape answered. "However, this seems to be the only way to make you really learn Occlumency. Besides, the Dark Lord will not be gentle with you once he penetrates your mind. I suppose you know this already."

"Alright," Harry sighed. "But what about the no prejudices part? I mean, you think I'm insufferable and stupid and I, on the other hand, think… well, whatever. You know what I mean, sir."

"We can't help that now, can we? I promise not to use any information that I should learn against you. We try to act civil. It is vital that you learn Occlumency."

"I know it is," Harry snapped, getting up. "But I don't want to… no — I can't talk about my feelings to you. I want to trust you with this, I really do. It's just…"

Snape closed his eyes and sighed.

"We can try something different."

"What," Harry asked.

"The Headmaster, among many others, finds that touch is linked with trust. This is based on the simple fact that humans need to feel… closeness. In other words, he suggested that I should give you a… massage."

"WHAT?"

"Yes, well, my reaction was quite similar."

"The idea seems quite… unnatural, that's all," Harry mumbled and blushed a little. This is just weird!

"That is the main problem here, I suppose," Snape said. "You should be able to feel confident around me, relaxed even."

Harry had no idea what to say.

"It's not easy for me either, Potter," Snape sighed.

"Well… Um, I guess we could try that… massage stuff or whatever," Harry said. Why the hell am I blushing? It makes everything ten times worse! "If you don't find it disgusting, that is."

Snape didn't answer.

"Oh, I suppose you do. No wonder. Well, let's just…"

"Come here, Potter, and take the blankets with you."

Harry did as told though his hands were shaking a little. Snape sat on a chair and gestured Harry to sit on the floor in front of him.

"If anything feels bad, just inform me." Snape's voice was soft now, gentle even.

Harry nodded. He felt tense. He felt his professor's hands land on his shoulders. They began to draw big, warming circles.

"You're tense," Snape said.

"Well, yeah. Nobody's ever massaged me before."

"Is that so? Well, just try to relax — that's all you need to do. You can imagine it's somebody else if that helps you."

"It's OK," Harry mumbled.

"Relax, Potter. I'll take care of everything."

Snape's voice was soft, too soft. And it sounded… warm — quite nice, really. I'm going mad, Harry thought. But the words were soothing and the massage was good as well. Snape's fingers were long, warm and strong and he certainly knew what to do. Harry felt his body begin to relax. It's quite good, really — who would've thought! The hands on his shoulders began to press a little harder, searching for sore spots.

"All right?" Snape's voice was a whisper. It felt like the shivers on Harry's back.

"Yeah," Harry answered.

They didn't talk more as Snape drew the tension out of Harry's stiff muscles. He pressed firmly but gently and it felt good, really good.

Harry's breathing slowed and deepened and he let out a small, satisfied moan-ish sound without realizing it.

"Enjoying yourself," the Potions Master asked and Harry knew he was smirking. STOP BLUSHING STOP BLUSHING STOP BLUSHING! Thank God he can't see my face!

"Um, yeah," Harry said and blushed further. "You're pretty good… at this."

"It's good to hear," Snape answered dryly.

He continued to massage Harry for quite some time. As he finally stopped, Harry felt through and through relaxed.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"Maybe we could try the first rehearsal again?"

Is he really asking me, Harry thought.

"Um, sure," he answered.

"Lie down, then."