Watching him leave, his muscled back fluid in movement, Bella remained where he left her, shock pinning her to the sink. All she could hear was the sound of her shallow breathing, the hum of some electrical appliance nearby and the trace of voices outside. Paul hadn't looked back for her, hadn't glanced over his shoulders as he re-joined the others, as he knew Bella wouldn't appreciate the ecstatic look of victory on his face.

Unaware of what had transpired under the noise of their conversation, the pack knowing nothing of the kitchen, those outside continued talking, Paul joining in on his return.

It was a long few seconds before Bella could peel herself away from the counter.

She caught her reflection on the microwave as she twisted around, and saw the shocked look fade into nothingness. Had anyone else been there they would have found her face to be untranslatable, devoid of anything further than her features. Yet inside she was a volcano, erupting with contrasting and complementary feeling and thought. She shouldn't have let that kiss happen.

She reached for the glass (originally Paul's as he had taken hers), filled it, and took a sip. The water flowed through her mouth, down her throat and did its bit in cooling the fire the man had stoked. Kissing him had been very different to dancing with him. His mouth on hers, moving with hers. His taste. So much more intimate, so much more personal. Nothing like anything that had ever happened to Bella in conjunction with another person before.

Checking to see that she had left nothing, she picked the cup up and quietly left the kitchen, not wanting to stay too long at the scene of the crime. She finished lunch with the others, blending inconspicuously back into the conversation thanks to her new façade of gentle happiness, put on so as to not arouse suspicion. She didn't look at Paul. She couldn't. Not yet. Not until she was in control.

The only moment of almost-discovery had been when Jake, frowning, asked why her breath smelt of Paul. An awkward half second had followed that question. But Bella wasn't an idiot, and though she would tell him eventually, she had no intention of being sussed out by Jacob before she was ready. She smiled, pointed out the accidental glass mix-up, claimed Paul having taken the wrong cup was responsible, and that she hadn't noticed until she had taken a few sips.

Jacob smiled, reassured, and she was instantly swallowed by guilt.

Not long later she had thanked Jacob once more for letting her crash, assured him that he'd see her on the beach later, waved goodbye to the others, and left. She remembered how desperately she had tried to escape James last year, and felt that the desperation entwined with her leaving today hadn't been that dissimilar. Despite the smiles, she was scared. It took a lot of effort not to floor it and get the fuck out of La Push before someone stopped her.

She drove her truck home, so grateful that Jake using it meant she hadn't had to collect it from Angie's, and did her very best not to think about anything at all. Not Paul. Not Jacob. She just concentrated on the road and her driving, holding on to the edge she could feel wrestling with her. She wanted to be safe at home before she broke down.

Charlie hadn't been home when she finally pulled her truck into their drive. With no apparent haste, she picked up her bag from the passenger seat, got out, locking the door behind her, and then let herself into the house. She walked through the empty house, up the stairs and into her room. The door closed behind her.

That's when shit hit the internal fan.

Before she could stop herself she was on fire with all the feelings she had repressed and saw each one possess her, consume her through the now streaming tears.

First grief, sad proof that - despite her recovery - a small part of her had still been holding out for Edward, and now mourned the evident end of what they had shared.

After that came anger, which burnt strong for a fair while. Anger at herself, at Paul, at Jacob, at Edward, at Mike and at the type of guy who thought it was ok to make women become this fucking furious.

Then sadness filled the gap anger left, with regrets concerning Jake loving her too much.

Shame came next at the way she had responded to him.

Then arousal as she remembered Paul's skin.

Pride at being what someone as beautiful as him desired.

Followed by confusion.

Then fatigue, despite her late lie in.

She tucked herself into her welcoming bed.

She slept.

She had woken up an hour or two later, and was now observing a small feather float past her window. Bella watched it, still under her bed covers, as it danced, liberated by the wind. Eventually it flew out of sight.

There was no way she was going to the barbeque.

Paul could go fuck himself.

The way he had looked at her. Spoken to her. The kiss.

Climbing out, rising to her feet in a very quiet rage, Bella unpacked her overnight bag, dirty clothing shoved into her basket, toothbrush thumped on top of her chest of drawers. Though she was indisputably angry at him, she was primarily furious at herself. She shouldn't have let him touch her. Hell, she shouldn't have even allowed it to almost happen. But it had and now she was going to fucking deal with it because it would take more than a damn kiss to floor her.

Taking out the items at the very bottom of the bag, she found her phone. Three new messages. One from Jess, one from Angela, one from Jake.

'Feel better soon – don't worry, Lauren eventually was sick too. You guys are weak ;) Tell Jake I said hi and thanks, see you tomorrow xx' – Angela, 23:03 PM.

'Mike shall pay for his crime at the bbq tonight. His execution shall be beautiful. Help me out? Xx' – Jess, 14:27 PM.

'You k Bells, you didn't text me that you got home safe xx' – Jacob, 15:34 PM.

The bad thing about phones is that they make you confront people faster than you'd want to. First she sent a text to the easiest recipient, and thanked Angela for a good night and getting Jake to fetch her. Then she sent a quick text to Jacob, apologising and telling him that she didn't feel great so might not turn up to the beach later. Then, knowing already how she would respond, she texted her last contact.

Not even twenty seconds after, her phone started vibrating – an incoming call. Biting the bullet, Bella picked it up and answered.

'Why aren't you coming tonight?' Jess demanded.

'I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling very-'

'Don't bullshit me,' Jess interrupted, 'you're a terrible liar. Besides, I know you hate lying. So why aren't you coming tonight?'

'Jess, please drop it.'

'What's happened Bella?'

'…Look I'm avoiding someone. I really, really don't want to do this, so please don't force it.'

'Are you ok Bells?' Jess asked, her voice turning far more cautious and calming than it had previously been.

Bella sat down on the end of her bed. 'Not really. Jess I…' She let loose, she held nothing back. 'I let one of Jake's friends kiss me. I don't know what to do, I'm honestly panicking and I'm friggin terrified of going back to the rez. What will I tell Jacob when he finds out? What can I tell the other guy?' Her voice had steadily risen as she spoke, and Jess could now hear the tremble it concealed. 'I'm not ready for a relationship and this guy is friggin intense! I just… I-'

'Bella, honey, breathe. It's going to be ok, ok?'

'Ok.'

'Ok. Now this is what is going to happen. You're going to go to the barbeque because it takes more than some dude to run you away from your friends. You're going to speak to Jacob before someone else does. And, to top it all off, you're going to have a good, chilled time with your friends. Ok?'

Bella sighed. 'Ok.'

'Trust me hun, its going to be fine. Now go get a shower and I'll pick you up at six, that gives you time to get changed and stuff.'

'Thanks Jess, you're a good friend.'

'Pff, I'm the best. Now no panic attacks, and I'll see you later.'

'Bye.'

Jess was kind of perfect friend wise. Grabbing her toothbrush on the way, and with a half-smile that seemed inconceivable an hour or so ago, Bella went to the bathroom and did as she was told.

But, just over an hour later, pulling into the nearest car park to first beach, she wondered if she should start regretting her decision. Despite the fair weather, not that many people had turned up, just a few handfuls could be seen milling around a bonfire in the distance. Fewer people might make it feel more intimate, intimacy not being something Bella particularly wanted from tonight.

The smell of grilled meat and fish flew from the little barbeques adjacent to the large fire, hitting the two girls as they stepped out of Jess' car. It smelt good as they approached the cluster, lured in, arms weighed down by soda Bella had found in her cupboard and assorted snacks from Jess' house. Despite the day's warmth, the sand was cold under their feet as they got closer, twilight having stolen its heat. In the distance the sun was setting over the sea.

If she hadn't been focusing so hard on being confident, Bella would have noticed how beautiful it was.

What she did notice however was Jacob noticing her and Jess, then beaming, his smile lit up from the bonfire he'd been encouraging seconds before. He stood up from his crouched position and walked towards them, approaching, before pulling Bella into a hug when they were close enough. After he released her, he surprised Bella by then pulling Jess into one too. Though, thinking about it, she didn't really know why she was surprised, she had introduced him to her Forks friends and he was a nice guy that liked to give hugs.

Still, she wasn't sure she liked it.

'Can I give you guys a hand?' he offered, gesturing to the goodies in their arms.

'Nah we're good Jake, thanks,' Bella replied, smiling up at him, her hesitance overshadowed by his friendliness.

'Its good to see ya, thought you said you weren't coming?'

Bella and Jess glanced at one another.

'I reconsidered.'

Jake laughed, eyes twinkling. 'Fine, be all secretive then! I'm glad you reconsidered in any case.'

'Yeah he'd have been all mopey otherwise,' added Jared as they got to the others, 'how you feeling drunkasaurus?'

'Gee, I'm fine, thanks el douchio. How are ya?'

'Meh, if we could get these hot dogs to cook a little faster I'd be better.' He replied as Embry plucked the plastic bottles out of Bella's arms.

Glancing around she saw that Jess had headed straight to the paler group on a log, where Mike was currently looking a little queezy. She'd finally trapped him. Idiot.

'Mind if we open these?' a deep voice asked, tearing her attention away from the unfolding drama. 'I'm awful hungry.'

Paul's dark eyes looked down at her, bemused, and yet as clear in intent as ever in their transmission of desire. The way he looked at her showed a request of submission, a wish to dominate, and it had previously scared the living bejesus out of her. But tonight was different to this morning – she wouldn't get caught again. They couldn't freeze her. She was prepared.

'Those are Jess' but I'm sure that'll be fine. They're here to be eaten after all.'

Paul was surprised. She was making coherent sentences whilst he was trying to charm her.

'Thank you,' Paul stepped forwards slightly, closer to her. 'So what can I expect from tonight little one? You're so full of surprises.'

'You can expect me to eat a hot dog or two, chat with my friends and enjoy the night.'

Dropping the bag of pretzels he'd been holding, her put his hand on her hip. 'Bella you know-'

She stepped away, and savoured the look of surprise on his face as she did so. Hell, in all honesty she was surprised to have moved away from his touch, his smell. 'I'll talk to you later Paul, have a good evening though.' She smiled up at him, turned around, and walked away.

She felt fucking proud.

Paul watched her, watched the sway of her hips as she moved further and further out of his grasp, and did his very best to calm his wolf the fuck down. Driven by the instinct to protect, dominate and pleasure its wanted, his wolf was trembling within him at the change in his woman's attitude.

Didn't she understand? Didn't he tell her? He motherfucking wanted her! Wanted what only she could give! Trembling, close to phasing, he ran towards the safety of the forest. He couldn't hold the animal back any longer.

His pack mates didn't follow. They knew trouble when they saw it and there was no way they'd try and pick Paul Lahote's mind when he was so obviously furious. One of the most volatile wolves at the best of times, it would be a death wish to purposely pursue him.

Had they, they would have seen the intensity of his rage and his desire for the girl now joking with Leah. The huge wolf, towering, teeth bared and snarling watched his girl speak and move. He'd always known she was strong-willed, it had been one of the primary things he'd liked about her in addition to her body. His wolf didn't want a weak lover. But despite this, he had never considered the possibility that he might be refused.

Rejection didn't sit well with him.

Time went by as he watched her move and laugh, minutes turning into hours as the sun sank beneath the horizon. Still the wolf remained, the man buried far beneath his animal's need to watch over her. But as the night continued the man grew in strength, until, two hours after he phased, he returned to his original form, his body heaving from the effort.

She looked happy. He couldn't bear it. Couldn't bare the distance between them. Couldn't imagine not being with her, or being with anyone else. It petrified him to think of her being without him, or him being alone without her.

He hadn't ever been this scared before. Not as a child. Not as a youth. Not as a man.

Sat alone beyond the edge of the forest, naked, terrified and yet unable to take his eyes off of her form, Paul began to cry.