A/N: This is yesterday's drabble, that I could not post because of my Gr. 8 Grad. It's based on Santana, but does not directly relate to an episode. There ended up being quite a bit of Rachel mentioned . . . I don't know why, it just flowed that way.
Hope you enjoy!
Today's will be up momentarily.
She'd never admit it . . . but she's changed – or is changing – from the self-centered, cruel bitch she used to be.
It may not seem like it on the outside – because she does have a reputation to uphold, after all – but on the inside the changes are obvious. The way she no longer goes looking for a loser to humiliate between second and third period just to break the monotony; the way she doesn't even enjoy insulting people anymore (well, most people. She doesn't think making fun of Ben-Israel's ridiculous and disgusting hairdo will get old anytime soon); the way she almost found herself bitching Karofsky out for calling Kurt a 'fag' the other day. (What? So what if she's realized that word is dumb. It's not as if she likes the kid, or anything. But maybe she just doesn't think there's anything wrong with him being who he is anymore.)
And it's not like she's going to walk into school one day and invite Ti- err, Goth Chick shopping or tell Mercedes her hair looks nice or some shit like that. She's not going to become a good person overnight. She's not sure she really wants to be a good person, anyways.
She just, kinda, doesn't want to be the way she used to be.
(Because she's caught Rachel crying in the bathroom, covered in Cherry slushie, and felt something in her stomach that she thinks might be guilt. And that's not a feeling she wants again.
Besides, so what if Berry dresses like a toddler/grandma, and uses big words, and is freakishly annoying, and – where was she, again? Oh yeah. She doesn't deserve that shit. No one does.
And they're never gonna be bosom friends . . . but she doesn't hate the chick anymore.
She's actually, almost, kinda cool; in a way. Not, like, popular-cool . . . but Santana kinda respects the way she (and Kurt and Mercedes, etc.) put on a brave face because they know that it's not the end of the world. She thinks that's kind of cool.)
Whatever; she's a Cheerio, not a gleek.
Seriously, she isn't.
(Oh, shut up.)
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