Gotcha...The inexplicable and undeniable smile which covers his whole face as he grins up at the older man...Yeah, you have...The thrill as their hands touch, fingers connecting as if they've never been apart...Come back to mine...Their eyes locking, want and need reflected and magnified threefold...Ok...The sound of words spoken before the brain has time to think. Everything done on instinct.

The day before his wedding day. Seeing the older man again when he thought he'd left for good. The elation he felt at seeing him again, but also the overwhelming feeling of dread as all of the feelings he'd been trying to deny are brought to the surface once more.

Seeing his face as he bursts into the wedding ceremony room. Silently pleading with him not to go through with this. Whilst his mother glares at him the whole time, almost daring him to come clean.

Standing in the Square one sunny day, finally able to convince the older man that he was ready to start their life together. Talking at a million miles an hour, not even sure in his own head whether he's making sense or not. But knowing that this is the most at home he's felt for months. Years.

Standing in the restaurant, surrounded by his entire family, declaring his love for the older man. You are my partner, my friend, my rock, and my island. But above all, more than this and everything else, you are the one I love.

Syed woke with a start, taking several deep, long breaths to calm himself down. His heart was racing, and the last moments of the last scene danced in the front of his mind, and he was grateful that this memory, at least, was staying very much inside the edge of his awareness. He knew instantly that the images which had just danced in his mind had been true; that they had been memories, rather than moments simply invented by his dreams. He didn't even know how he knew that.

All he did know at that moment in time was how lonely he suddenly felt, in the spare bedroom of this still too strange house. It was the first time he had felt this way since he'd woken up in the hospital all those weeks ago. Truth be told, at times he'd felt almost suffocated; there was always someone around when he was in the hospital, and Christian had barely left his side since he had been discharged. But now, as he sat up and looked around his four empty walls, Syed felt a sudden urge to be near Christian. A longing, even.

He climbed out of bed and gently tip-toed across the landing and peeked inside Christian's bedroom. Their bedroom? The concept, while still seeming fairly alien to Syed, felt almost comforting right now. He hesitated in the doorway as he watched Christian's sleeping form. What would the older man's reaction be if he were to simply slip into the bed next to him? Would Syed be rejected? Or would Christian take that as a sign that Syed was wanting their relationship to move to the next level? Did Syed even want that right now?

Syed closed his eyes, taking a breath and clearing his mind, trying to control the erratic thumping of his heart. It was a miracle that Christian hadn't woken up, it was beating so loudly. He thought about everything he knew to be true, in the cloud of uncertainty he had found himself in ever since waking up in that hospital bed.

He was physically attracted to Christian, Syed was positive of that, at least. As emotionally stifling as it was having Christian near him all the time, his body physically yearned for more. More contact, more closeness. But Syed restrained himself, knowing that it was unfair of him to seek out that closeness with Christian while being unable to offer himself emotionally.

He was starting to believe that everything he had ever wanted in his life had indeed somehow managed to come together, in spite of everything. That he had somehow managed to earn the approval and respect of his family, despite his life choices which they would have found it so hard to come to terms with. His latest memory only served to prove this theory.

Despite all this, Syed still felt as though he was drowning in a sea of emotion and uncertainty, and he knew that he would feel this way until he got the rest of his previous memories back.

Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to move to Christian's side, kneeling down so he was face to face with the sleeping man.

"I will remember us, Christian. I promise," he whispered gently, pressing a careful kiss to his forehead, ensuring not to wake him. He took one more moment to stare at the face of the man he was slowly beginning to feel for again, before getting dressed and quietly leaving the house, doing the only other thing he could think of to restore all those memories he had lost.

He was going back to where it all started. Back to their past.