Chapter 7

Much to my relief, our afternoon wasn't ruined. We finished our lunch and settled back into the easy comfort we had with each other. Well, as much easy comfort as I could have around Santana considering the general tingling in my body and increased heartbeat when I was near her.

We walked back to her apartment and she showed me the rest of her place. She had more of a modern look to her apartment, with the exception of the living room with the wooden bookshelves and big, comfy couches. Her guest bedroom was more bare than mine, with just a bed and a nightstand. The main bathroom had dark cabinets with stainless steel fixtures, and she had decorated with a dark grey shower curtain.

Her own bedroom was also dark. She had grey walls and a black comforter with black and white patterned sheets. Her furniture was dark wood and was very functional, with minimal decoration. Santana had decorated her own room with some geometric art and a few family pictures on her dresser. The room was clean, but there was an inherent sense of messiness, like the scattered items on the dresser and the drawers not pushed all the way in.

Overall, Santana's home seemed to fit her perfectly. The modern look suited the way she presented herself, as a chic professional woman. But the room I knew she spent the most time in, which was the living room, was cozy and made for comfort, much the way Santana was softer on the inside. I thought it was perfect.

I looked at her book collection more closely and was amazed at the variety of books she had. I could tell she took good care of her books, but there were some that were more loved than others, as evidenced by the worn bindings. The Harry Potter books were obviously read often, but so were some Michael Crichton titles and various classics, such as Great Expectations and A Tale of Two Cities. Santana's taste in books was much like my taste in movies, which was all over the spectrum.

By the time she finished showing me around her apartment and I was done nosing through her books, it was after 3:30pm.

"So are you still wanting to hang out some more?" Santana asked quietly after we settled down on her couch.

"I would love to do something else with you, if you aren't sick of me yet," I told her with a smile.

"I could never be sick of you," she laughed. "What do you want to do?"

I shrugged. I didn't really have much of an idea of what to do with Santana. "It doesn't matter much to me," I said. "Did you have something you wanted to do?"

"I need to find some new shoes for work, so we could always go to the mall," she offered.

"I'm sure this trip to the mall would involve the bookstore as well, am I right?" I asked with a teasing smile.

She chuckled. "Maybe. But if you would rather do something else…" Santana trailed off.

"No, the mall is fine," I said. "Besides, I would love to have some company at the mall. I hate going by myself."

I made sure to grab my purse and shirt before we left her apartment. We went to Santana's car and she decided to head back over toward the shopping available off of Polaris Parkway since it was close to my house, and she would need to drop me back home when we were done for the day.

Shopping with Santana was fun. She made fun of things she thought looked ugly and I was laughing so hard with her comments that I felt like my face was going to quit working. She got me to try on several things she thought would look good on me, but, even though she tried to get me to get them, I didn't buy anything. Santana ended up buying a couple of pairs of heels. They definitely looked sexy on her, but I still didn't know how she could walk in those all day. I kind of preferred the little height difference between us when she was wearing flat shoes, but I wouldn't complain when she wore heels.

We spent a lot of time walking the mall and finished up at the bookstore. I went in prepared for Santana to linger there, and I wasn't disappointed. I enjoyed watching her face light up as she walked into the store, taking time to check out different titles and reading a few pages before deciding whether she was interested or not. I wasn't bored at all, although I think Santana was afraid that I was. I figured she rushed through the bookstore faster than she would normally, since forty-five minutes later she had only selected a couple of books and headed toward the checkout.

She wouldn't listen when I told her that she could look for longer if she wanted to.

"It's already six, Britt," Santana explained. "I figured we should probably get dinner."

I honestly hadn't paid attention to the time. I was having too much fun with Santana. Now I was late on taking my next pill once again, and I was starting to feel it. I knew that we should probably head out and get some dinner then, particularly so I could get something to drink to take my next dose.

"Okay," I said. "What do you want to do for dinner?"

Santana shrugged a little. "I thought you probably wanted to get back to the dogs," she began, "so we could maybe pick up some take-out or something and head back to your place to eat."

I smiled at her thoughtfulness. "Sounds great," I agreed.

We decided to call in a pizza and pick it up on the way to my house. We walked back to the car after I called in our order and drove to the pizza place to get it. The traffic was kind of bad since it was Saturday night and everyone was out to go get dinner or go to the mall, so we had a good chunk of time to make sure the pizza was done by the time we got there.

Thirty minutes later we were finally pulling up to my house. I knew I needed to hurry and take my pill, so I hurried to the door, pizza in hand, and unlocked it before making my way quickly into the kitchen. The dogs were following closely behind me, excited for me to be home.

I set the pizza down on the counter and pulled down a glass from the cupboard. I filled it with water and grabbed my pill container out of my purse. I quickly got one out and swallowed it with a drink of water.

I knew Santana had seen, since she was right behind me the whole way into the kitchen. I turned around and, sure enough, she was watching me with a concerned look on her face.

"Is everything okay?" Santana asked. I could tell she was curious to know what was going on with me, but she didn't want to pry too much.

I sighed. I knew I couldn't avoid telling her anymore. Especially after the way I had pretty much ran into the house to take my pill.

"Yeah, everything is okay," I reassured her. "I just have to take one of these four times a day."

Her brows scrunched a little. "I don't know if it is any of my business," she began, "but what are they for?"

I looked down at the floor briefly before looking back up. I wasn't ashamed of anything. I don't know why I was hesitating to tell her.

"They're for my myasthenia gravis," I told her.

Her brow scrunched further as confusion took over. "Your what now?"

I smiled a little, understanding her confusion at the unfamiliar disease. "I have an autoimmune disease called myasthenia gravis," I explained. "Basically my immune system attacks my muscles and they get really weak. I have to take these pills so I can walk, talk, eat, and breathe pretty much."

Her eyes got really wide at that. "You mean you won't breathe if you don't take these pills?" Santana asked loudly. I could hear the slight bit of fear and even anger in her voice. "Why didn't you say anything? I know that you were freaking out a little just now when you took it. Were you afraid for me to find out?"

"No, Santana," I broke in. "It isn't quite like that." I took a breath and let it out in a slow exhale. "Here, just let me let the dogs out and feed them really quick, and then we can sit down and eat and I will explain it. Okay?"

Santana crossed her arms in front of her chest, and, although she didn't look happy about it, she nodded in agreement. I gave her a grateful smile and went to let the dogs out back. The break gave me the opportunity to calm myself down and think of the best way to talk about my disease. It also gave me the opportunity to think of why it was I hadn't told Santana already. I kind of wasn't pleased with what I was coming up with.

Once Lance and Lady came back inside, I fed them and put some more food in Lord Tubbington's bowl. Santana had already gotten some plates out and had set them on the table along with the pizza. She had put my glass of water by one plate and had gotten a glass of water for herself. She was sitting in her chair, waiting for me to finish and join her.

I sat down and got a couple of pieces of pizza out and put them on my plate. Santana grabbed a couple of pieces for herself, and I decided the best thing to do was jump right in.

"Okay, so the thing about myasthenia gravis is that the more I use my muscles, the weaker they get," I explained. "So I tend to get weaker later on in the day, and since I was late taking that dose I was starting to feel a little weak. That was why I was in a hurry to take it."

"Why didn't you take it earlier then, when you were supposed to take it?" Santana asked.

"To be honest, I wasn't really paying attention to the time," I told her. "I was having a lot of fun with you and I didn't realize it was that late."

"So you weren't trying to hide it from me?"

I looked down at my pizza, a little ashamed at my answer to this question. "I really did just forget today. The thing is I wasn't necessarily trying to hide it from you, but I didn't really want you to know yet."

"Why?" The hurt in Santana's voice caused me to look up at her. I hated to see the look of pain in her eyes, especially knowing that I had caused it.

"I just didn't want you to think of me any differently," I said. "It had been so long since I had a friend and I guess I was kind of afraid that if you knew I had this… I don't know… limitation I guess, that you wouldn't want to hang out with me."

"Brittany, I would never think that you were any less amazing because of this," she told me sincerely.

I smiled gratefully at her, relieved at finally getting it off of my chest and Santana accepting me the way I was. "Thank you," I said, tears starting to pool in my eyes.

"So do I need to worry about you collapsing on me and not breathing or anything?" Santana asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

I shook my head. "The odds of that happening are really slim as long as I take my medication," I told her. "It can happen if I get really stressed or something triggers a bad reaction, and if that happens for some reason, then just call 911 and make sure they see this." I pulled up my sleeve to show her the medical ID bracelet I wore on my wrist.

"Okay," she said as she nodded. "Is there anything else I need to know?"

"I might get weaker at night if we hang out late, even if I do take my pills," I explained. "I can have some bad days, so if my eyelids get really droopy, or my smile seems weird, or even if my voice sounds funny then I should probably rest or go to bed. But usually, if I take my meds regularly, then I am fine throughout the day."

"Promise me you will take your pills on time then," Santana demanded. "If you need me to remind you, then I will. I don't want you not taking care of yourself."

I was touched by Santana's concern for me, even if her overprotective attitude made me chuckle a little. "I will do my best," I promised.

Santana shook her head. "Not good enough. What time do you usually take your pills?"

"Seriously?" Santana just looked at me, clearly waiting for me to respond. "My first dose I take when my alarm goes off before 6am."

A look of recognition crossed Santana's face. "That's why your alarm goes off and you get out of bed so early on the weekends," she guessed.

I nodded. "Yeah, I have to take my pill and my alarm wakes me to do it, so I just get up and let the dogs out and stuff since I know my alarm wakes them up too." Santana nodded in understanding. "My second dose I take between 11:30 and noon usually. Then my third pill around 5pm. My last pill I take around bedtime, usually after 9pm."

"So you were late taking your pill twice today," Santana realized, and her mouth tightened.

I looked at her guiltily. "Yeah."

"Well that's not going to happen anymore when you are with me," she stated determinedly.

I laughed a little. "Thanks for your concern, San, but I've been doing a pretty good job of taking care of myself for years now."

"Britt, I can't stand by if I know you have forgotten to take your medicine," Santana told me.

I understood that Santana was worried about me, and she didn't want my forgetfulness to make me have problems with my health. I could tell that she wasn't going to let it go, either, so I figured I should just accept the fact that she was going to try to take care of me whether I liked it or not.

I gave her a slight nod, indicating that I was going to let her take on some of this burden even though I was reluctant to do so. "Okay, San."

She let out a relieved breath. "Good," she said. "So is this something you've always had?"

I shook my head as I took a bite of my pizza. I chewed and swallowed quickly so I could answer. "No, I was diagnosed within the year after Sam and I got married," I said.

"How did you find out?" Santana asked, taking a bite of her own pizza.

"I started having symptoms my freshman year at MIT, although I didn't know it at the time," I explained. "My voice would get weird at the end of the night sometimes and I felt like my eyes were tired a lot. I had been concentrating so much on my classes and wedding planning and was under a lot of stress, so I didn't really think too much of it. I was also feeling a little more physically tired, but I had gained a little weight so I thought I had just gotten out of shape since I wasn't dancing as much anymore."

Santana nodded as I paused to take another bite. After I swallowed, I continued my story. "After the wedding, things got worse. I had decided to take a dance class since I thought I had gotten too out of shape, so when my second year started I enrolled in a dance class as well. I noticed right away that I wasn't able to keep up with the types of things I used to be able to do, but thought it was because of the little bit of weight I had put on. But as the weeks went on, it kept getting worse. It got to the point where I had a hard time holding my school books on campus and I often dropped them because I got so weak. I had no clue what was going on, but it wasn't until I started having trouble swallowing food and water that I knew something was seriously wrong."

"Geez, Britt," Santana said, concern in her eyes. "That must have been so scary."

I nodded. "It was," I confessed. "I made a doctor's appointment as soon as I could, and Sam went with me because he was as worried as I was. Thankfully the doctor realized something serious was going on and got me into a neurologist right away, and the neurologist immediately started me on my medication due to the amount of weakness I was having and he ran a bunch of tests. All of the tests came back positive for myasthenia gravis, and they found a tumor on my thymus gland in my chest, which often goes along with it."

Santana's eyes widened. "Was it cancer?"

"No, but they needed to remove it in case it did turn malignant," I told her. "So I have a nice scar now where they cracked my chest open. They hoped that removing my thymus gland would put me into remission eventually, but it didn't. That's why I am glad that my medication works so well, because I may have had to take steroids or other drugs that were more harmful."

"So you've been dealing with this for what… like seven years?" Santana asked.

"Just about, yeah," I confirmed.

"Can you die from it?" Her voice was timid as she asked.

"It isn't likely, but it is possible. If I go into a myasthenic crisis, where the muscles that control my breathing become really weak, and if I can't get to the hospital and on a breathing machine then I could die. Or if food gets stuck in my throat because I can't swallow and I choke, but that is possible for like anyone. The odds of me dying from it are really low, so you really don't need to worry, San."

She still looked a little scared, but she seemed to be resolved about me being okay. I watched as she seemed to push her worry out of her mind. "Is this why you stopped dancing?"

I was a little surprised that she asked me that. I didn't think she would wonder about that after what I had told her yesterday, but I guess she remembered more about what I told her than I expected her to.

"Yeah, it was the biggest reason," I said. "I didn't have the energy to begin with, and then I couldn't dance for a little while after my surgery. It took a few months to get me regulated really well on my medication, and even then I had lost some muscle mass from being so weak and less active for so long. I started to get a little more active a few months before Sam died, and then after the accident I just didn't have much desire to dance."

Santana bit her lip a little nervously. "Would you be able to go out dancing then? Or would it be too much for you to do that?"

I could tell she was concerned that her offer to go out dancing with me and Gabe would be too hard on my body. "I would love to go out dancing," I reassured her. "I mean, I might not be able to do as much as I used to be able to do when I was younger, but I can still dance."

I smiled at her, hoping she understood that I really wanted to go dancing with her. She gave me a relieved smile back, and I was glad that she was okay with going out dancing with me.

"I can make sure you take it easy, but I think it will be fun for you to go out dancing again," she said.

"I think so too," I told her.

We concentrated on eating our food for a few minutes. The pizza was okay, but my mind wasn't really on the food. I had revealed so much to Santana over the past twenty-four hours. Much more than I had told anyone else in a long time. I felt that much closer to her already, and I was glad that me unloading such big things on her didn't send her running for the door.

"Can I ask you something else?" Santana suddenly asked as I was finishing up my second slice.

"Sure," I said around the bite of pizza in my mouth.

"Does alcohol affect your myasthenia… gravis?" Santana asked, stumbling a little over the unfamiliar disease.

"Myasthenia gravis," I confirmed for her, pleased that she actually got it right considering most people couldn't remember it. Sadly even most nurses I came across didn't know what it was, but Santana was incredibly smart and was a lawyer, so I wasn't too surprised she could learn it quickly. "And, yeah, it can. Alcohol, the rare times I did drink it, mostly just made me really relaxed and sleepy. So after I got diagnosed, it made sense not to drink it because it would just make my symptoms worse."

"So you weren't exactly telling the truth when you said why you didn't drink," she said.

My eyes widened a little at her accusation. She wasn't being mean by it, but I hated her thinking I had lied to her about anything. "No, everything I told you was the truth," I promised. "I never really liked alcohol and I rarely drank. After I was diagnosed, it just gave me that much more reason to not drink anyways, which wasn't a problem. And after Sam's accident, I definitely had no desire to drink at all anymore."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you think I was mad at you or anything," Santana apologized, looking down at the table. "I'm not, but I just didn't want to think you weren't telling me the truth about something." She looked back up to meet my eyes. "Because you can tell me anything, I hope you know that."

My heart fluttered a little at the look in her eyes. She was looking at me so softly, with such care in her gaze. It made me want to confess the way I was feeling for her, but I was afraid that if I did then she would be scared off. Surely if she was interested in me, she would have made it known by now. Right?

I settled for giving her a grateful smile. "Thanks, Tana," I said. "It really means a lot to me knowing that. And you can tell me anything, too."

She smiled back at me. We finished our food, moving on to much lighter topics. I cleared our dishes and put the leftover pizza in the fridge. It was after 7 o'clock now, and Santana and I had been together for 24 hours. Not together, but like in the same location. I kind of liked it. Actually, I really liked it.

I wasn't ready for Santana to leave yet, so I suggested maybe watching the second Harry Potter movie. She grinned and agreed.

I went to my room and grabbed the movie. When I came back out to the living room, Santana was already on the couch. Her shoes were kicked off of her feet and were lying on the floor next to the couch. Lady and Lance were both receiving pets from her, and she was cooing softly at them. I couldn't hear what she was saying, but I still thought it was cute.

I set the movie up and headed over to the couch, telling the dogs to lie down. As the dogs obeyed, I saw that Santana had set two full glasses of water on the coasters on the coffee table for us. She really was incredibly thoughtful.

We both got comfortable and focused on the exploits of Harry, Ron, and Hermione in their second year at Hogwarts. I was pretty tired, but I knew I wouldn't fall asleep while I was watching the movie. I kicked my own shoes off and lay back and stretched my legs a little toward Santana so I could relax though.

Santana turned toward me and smiled. She propped her own feet up on the coffee table and pulled my feet toward her to rest on her lap so I could stretch out fully. I couldn't believe that she was comfortable with having part of my body just lying on her, even if it was my feet. It made my body tingle a little to have that contact with her, especially since she rested her left hand on my leg.

My focus was torn between the feeling of Santana's hand on my leg and the movie. I could have sworn I felt Santana's thumb moving against my shin a couple of times, but every time I surreptitiously glanced over, I didn't even see a twitch of her hand.

Once the movie was over, I knew Santana needed to leave. There was no excuse for her to stay over again tonight. She hadn't been drinking and it wasn't even too late for her to be driving home. As much as I hated it, she was going to go home.

"So I have some things to do tomorrow for work, so I should probably go home and get some rest," Santana told me, confirming my suspicions.

"Okay, sure," I told her, hoping the disappointment wasn't evident in my voice.

She slipped her shoes on and we headed toward the front door. She put her jacket on and grabbed her purse off of the hook before turning back to me.

"I've had a lot of fun," she said, giving me a bright smile. Her eyes were sparkling and my heart started beating a little faster.

I grinned back at her, unable to contain my joy at the time we spent together for the past day. "Me too," I replied. "Let me know when you get home so I know you made it safely."

She nodded as she gave a little chuckle. "I will," she promised. "Make sure you take your pill tonight." I rolled my eyes but nodded. "I will talk to you tomorrow."

"Okay," I said, nodding again. I felt kind of ridiculous, standing here grinning like an idiot and just nodding.

Santana stepped toward me and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around her, reveling in the feel of her in my arms again. Now I really didn't want her to go, but I knew I had to stop these feelings soon. Otherwise I was going to ruin our friendship.

"Goodnight Tana," I said into her hair.

"Goodnight Britt," she said, giving me a final squeeze before she pulled back.

I let her out the door and watched her until she got to her car. She gave me a final wave as she got in and closed her door. I didn't close my front door until she had backed out of the driveway and started driving down the street. Santana had only just left, so why did I miss her already?

A/N: So you finally found out what the pills were for. I don't think any of you were thinking it was anything quite like that, but I could be wrong. Just so you know, myasthenia gravis is a real disease, though it is considered rare. I tried to give a basic explanation in the story without getting too clinical or boring. If anyone is interested in learning more, I encourage you to check out the Myasthenia Gravis Foundation of America's website at . Or you can ask me (through review/message/tumblr ask) and I will do my best to answer your questions. Invisible illnesses are close to my heart, so I like to spread awareness that sometimes people may look okay to you but they are struggling with just being able to make it through the day sometimes.

With that revelation Brittany and Santana are becoming really close. Brittany has let Santana in on a lot of her secrets, so maybe it is Santana's turn here soon?

I had to laugh about the guest reviewer who is upset that Brittany and Santana aren't like their characters from the show. This is an AU story, meaning that this isn't Glee! I stated in my first note at the beginning of the story that they were going to be very different (since they were mostly my own characters) but that they would have some characteristics and events from the show as part of their lives. Their backgrounds and their families are not like they were on the show, so they aren't going to be the same people that they were at all. A lot of authors may give them the same kind of personalities, but a lot of authors branch out. The whole point (in my opinion) is to show that, despite different circumstances and settings and personalities, these girls will always belong together. If you want canon Brittana, then read a canon story. Having said that, I hope you continue to read this story. You may just end up enjoying it!

So what do you guys think? Do you think Brittany will be any sort of successful at quashing how she feels about Santana? Do you think Santana is going to have to hit Brittany over the head to make it obvious how she feels? I mean, I thought it was pretty clear when she wanted to know Brittany's pill schedule so she could make sure she took them on time, but that's just me ;) Do you think Brittany's disease will impact Santana's feelings for her in the long run or cause any sort of problems for them?