"We should be the ones to order dinner!"
This argument between the twelve counselors had been going on for half an hour. One half wanted pizza and the other wanted burgers. Eventually this got to the point where Rob stepped in. "Hey, I got an idea, why don't we play a video game to decide."
Eric quickly agreed while everyone looked at him confused. "We'll play Mario Kart, and half of us are on one team and the others are on another." Little did they know, Rob was mostly planning to just screw with everyone due to the fact he was in a rather sinister mood.
"Alright, we'll pick teams." Kenny spoke up. Kenny then assigned the two people who had started the argument, Brandon and Adam, to different teams. After a coin flip, Brandon got the first choice.
"Eric." Brandon said to no one's surprise, as he was the best at video games overall. Adam went next. "Deborah." Much to Eric's dismay, which Adam grinned at. He had found Eric's weakness.
"A.J." Brandon smiled, and that only resulted in Adam picking Vanessa. Brandon then thought for a moment.
"Rob." Adam shook his head at this. "Then I choose Kenny." Kenny walked to Adam's side, and that left only Jenny, Chad, Tiffany, and Mitch.
"Mitch." Brandon said, to which Mitch let out an incredibly loud whoop and joined Brandon. "Jenny." Jenny walked over to the side of Adam, while to the other team's horror, Brandon chose Tiffany, leaving them with Chad.
"Well then, we got our teams, how should we play this?" Brandon asked while Rob set the systems up and the lobby. The two teams eventually got into the lobby and selected their characters, with Adam, Deborah, Vanessa, Kenny, Jenny, and Chad picking Shy Guy, Daisy, Bowser, Yoshi, Peach, respectively and much to everyone's annoyance except for Chad, Chad's mii.
"I'm not picking cartoon peasants." Was Chad's excuse. Meanwhile, Brandon, Eric, A.J., Rob, Mitch, and Tiffany chose Donkey Kong, Waluigi, Koopa Troopa, Mario, Luigi, and Peach for their players. Before starting, there was an angry outcry from Chad. "Who made me into a giraffe?!" Chad yelled, causing everyone to burst out laughing at Chad's abrupt comment, but laughed even more when they saw the mii that looked very much like a giraffe.
"You look like a giraffe that needs to be put down." Adam yelled, much to Chad's dismay. Rob came Adam a mischievous look. "I may have messed with Chad's mii." Adam laughed and turned back to the screen. "Alright, which track?" Adam asked, to which everyone selected their own track and the track began. "Alright, three races, and the best time overall combined gets to choose dinner." Rob explained, and Mitch piped up. "Why can't we go free-for-all?" Rob looked back at Mitch.
"Eric would wipe the floor with us." Eric smiled at this, knowing he was the best gamer here. The race then started, and not even the first lap was complete, Adam was yelling his head off. "There's something wrong with his controller, I swear to fucking god!"
"Yeah, it's the person holding it." Chad snidely replied, causing everyone to burst out into laughter. "Ok, Chad, you're a dick but I'll give you that one!" Kenny said, much to the surprise of Chad and Adam. "Fuck you Chad, you're a bitch and your mom has no tits!"
More laughter, and Chad laughed along, despite his mother being insulted. "How dare you say that about my mother's breasts!" Chad choked through laughter. On lap three, Brandon tossed a shell at Kenny, but unfortunately missed. "Oh no, I'm too early!" He yelled. "That's why Vanessa might be pregnant someday." Eric said, with more laughter following. "You're supposed to be on my team Eric!" Brandon yelled while Vanessa didn't say a word. The race ended with Eric of course, coming in first place, while Deborah followed in second. Later, Adam, Rob, Jenny, A.J., Kenny, Brandon, Vanessa, Chad, Tiffany, and Mitch followed. Brandon looked surprised at how poor Mitch did, as it took him nearly five minutes to finish two laps.
"Mitch, what the hell happened?!" Brandon asked, and Mitch responded in the angriest tone they've heard in a long time.
"FUCK YOU CUNT!" Mitch screamed. "DON'T START WITH ME ALREADY YOU POTATO FAGGOT!"
Needless to say, Mitch had to take a breather for a bit, and the second race started, and while there was not much happening in the early goings, the ending was something was something to behold.
"Eric, wait for me, wait for me." Chad said, to which Eric slowed down on the final lap. However, Chad did not expect Eric to have a powerup that knocked not only himself off, but Eric as well. He also didn't expect to see Mitch of all people zoom by into first place and cross the finish line.
"Yeah!" Mitch yelled, as if he couldn't believe it. "I came first!" Eric and Chad passed the finish line, followed by Kenny, Deborah, Adam, A.J., Jenny, Brandon, Tiffany, Rob, and Vanessa. "You guys played yourselves, so fucking hard…" Mitch said through tears. "STUPID FAT BASTARD!" Chad yelled in anger. With that, the final race was next, but before that, Kenny went to get some milk, and when he came back, the race started.
Very quickly into the first lap, Chad was struck with a red shell, causing him to fall into last place. Then another one, and another one, and another one until he was basically still at the beginning. "That's right, just fuck me with those red shells, put them in my ass!"
Everyone burst out laughing, but a weird noise from Kenny sounded out, as he had snotted out milk. "I just snot on myself, I need a tissue!" Adam giggled. "I don't know what Kenny did but it sounds dirty." Tiffany's head perked up at this. "What happened?" Kenny took about five seconds to respond. "I blew my nose, and I think I busted milk or something."
Everyone proceeded to laugh hardly, even to the point where some of them were swerving on the track. "Kenny bust his milk!" Adam yelled. "It sounds like another term for jizzing yourself!" The laughter continued more when Tiffany lapped Chad, who was still on the first lap.
"I JUST GOT LAPPED BY TIFFANY!" Chad yelled. "LAPPED...LAPPED…" The race finished with Adam finally getting into first place, with A.J., Kenny, Eric, Deborah, Jenny, Brandon, Tiffany, Rob, Vanessa, Mitch, and Chad following behind. "Alright, let's tally the points up."
In the end, it was 104 for Brandon's team and 125 for Adam's team, meaning that they would pick dinner. Of course, they chose burgers, and many gags were made as a result of their game of Mario Kart, such as OP Eric, due to the fact he scored the most points, Kenny busting milk, Chad's mom having no tits, and Vanessa being bad at video games, due to the fact she scored only eight points.
Mario Kart, the game that can make gags and destroy friendships.
Well, that's Mario Kart Murder for ya, and we leaned a number of things. BTW, here's the points scored and rankings.
Eric - 32
Deborah - 27
Kenny - 25
Adam - 31
Jenny - 20
A.J. - 24
Chad - 14
Tiffany - 10
Mitch - 15
Rob - 15
Vanessa - 8
Brandon - 15
1st Place - Eric
2nd Place - Adam
3rd Place - Deborah
4th Place - Kenny
5th Place - A.J.
6th Place - Jenny
7th Place - Brandon (TIE WITH MITCH AND ROB)
8th Place - Mitch (TIE WITH ROB AND BRANDON)
9th Place - Rob (TIE WITH MITCH AND BRANDON)
10th Place - Chad
11th Place - Tiffany
12th Place - Vanessa
Either way, I hope you enjoyed.