Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…but would definitely love to own Gaara!! lol
A/N: Hi everyone!! SORRY about it being late…this time it wasn't my job. My Grams passed away and it's been a rough couple of weeks. I really didn't feel like doing much of anything.
But this week I got on my computer and was inspired. I'm sure my Grams would have been proud of me. So as promised here is the next chapter!! ENJOY! THANK YOU TO ALL MY READERS AND REVIEWERS!! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME, plus you make me feel better!!
LOVE AND SECRETS
Chapter 7
Lady Tsunade hated paperwork. In fact when she signed up to be Hokage paperwork was the last thing in her mind. And now she was sitting in her office with pile after pile of paper work. She was in a foul mood and had asked not to be disturbed. So naturally when there was a knock on the door she was ready to bite someone's head off.
God damn it! I'm going to kill that useless guard, she thought as she ignored the knocking.
Knocking did stop like she hoped but it stopped for a reason. Someone came into her office. Someone she hadn't seen in two weeks. Hiro had begged Tsunade to knock Akira's wall down but she refused. She knew the ninja too well to know that a visit from an old friend wouldn't help her. There were only two people who could convince her to leave her room and both of them were stubborn redheads.
"Akira," Tsunade said quietly.
Honestly it looked like the redhead had been through hell and back. Tsunade was surprised to see Akira out of her house. She wondered if that knuckle head future Kazekage finally went to go see her.
Her question was answered almost instantly by the first words out of Akira's mouth. "I need to leave. I need you to let me leave."
I guess he didn't, Tsunade thought to herself. "Well you look great!" Tsunade said obviously lying.
Akira looked at her and laughed. But it sounded empty...forced. "I guess I do what with the bloody pajamas and the awful looking skin and if you look pass the mess that is my hair...I guess you could say I look good," Akira said sarcasm heavy in her voice.
Tsunade was not surprised that Akira was, well, still Akira. She smiled. Maybe she's not a lost cause, Tsunade thought to herself taking a good look at Akira.
The sustained chakra wall did most of damage to the ninja. Akira looked completely depleted; Tsunade didn't even know how the redhead was standing. She should be passed out, completely exhausted! But there she was standing, being sarcastic and looking completely miserable. The only thing gave away Akira's depletion was her body. She must have lost 15 pounds and her clothes and jacket were hanging dangerously loose on her body.
"Its good to know you haven't changed a bit," Tsunade said smiling. "Now what's this nonsense about leaving?"
Akira sighed and sat down in front of the only female Hokage. Maybe this was bad idea, she thought to herself. She already missed the comfort and safety of her bed.
"It's not nonsense Lady Tsunade. I need to leave. I feel like I'm drowning here! I'm barely breathing. And I don't know if you've noticed but I look like shit! I'm only asking because I respect this village and I respect you most of all. That's the only reason I'm here. You. If it wasn't for you…I would've left 10 minutes ago when I was at the village entrance because between me and you I could totally have taken those two guards."
Tsunade KNEW Akira could take those guards. The redhead had skills, she actually she helped trained those guards. She was young but her mother trained her well and Akira had continued her mother's training to the T. Tsunade had wanted the young nin to have her own ANBU team but she refused claiming it reminded her to much of her mother.
"But you didn't. I wasn't there, so why didn't you take them out and disappear?" Tsunade asked genuinely curious.
"Why didn't I take them?" she asked.
Tsunade nodded.
"Because of you," Akira answered. "I've been staring at that entrance for the past two hours but I couldn't make myself leave. Because I would never put you in the position of calling me a missing nin. Because you taught me better. Because she raised me better…" Akira trailed off quietly.
"She did, didn't she? Your mother raised you to respect authority, didn't she? Is that why you've always respected what I've said no matter what it was?" Tsunade asked Akira. She watched the redhead gauging her facial expressions to understand why she needed to leave.
"Yes. And no matter what I will respect your decision," Akira said miserably. Because of Tsunade said no, then she was going to stay. Her mother had always said to trust Tsunade's decisions, no matter what.
"You still haven't told me why you need to leave," Tsunade told her quietly.
Akira looked at her with pleading eyes. "Why? Because I spend every waking moment thinking about him. Why? Because I'm falling apart here. Why? Because everywhere I go in this damn village, I'm reminded of him. Why? Because I have this hole where my heart was and I can't fix it here. I can't fix it with everyone worried about whether I'm ok. I can't fix myself with them smothering me! Do you get it Tsunade? I can't do this. I can't do this with my friends…this is something I have to do it alone." Akira ended in a whisper.
"Why do you have to do it alone?" Tsunade looked at Akira; she was just beginning to see the pain Akira was in. It reminded Tsunade of when her brother and the love of her life died. Alone…was the best solution at the time. But having someone to talk to had also helped. And that's exactly was Akira needed.
"Because I've always done everything alone…because the only people that can possibly begin to help me are dead or might as well be. Do you know how bad I want to go to him and just let him hold me? Do you know how bad I want to talk to him? But I can't because he's the reason I'm a mess. He's the reason my heart is missing. So all I'm asking is for a month. Give me a one month mission so that I can breathe without thinking about him. One month so that I can fix myself. Please…" Akira asked in the softest voice Tsunade had ever heard from the young ninja.
"If I give this to you…you won't be the only one leaving for a month. You know that right? You'll take her with you. This village needs you and Hisa. You're the best of the best. It has to be ok with her because a month is a long time Akira. A very long time," Tsunade said somberly.
"She'll go with me. She goes where I go," Akira said giving Tsunade a questioning look.
"Ask her Akira. Remember what your mother also said," Tsunade gently reminded her.
That's when it hit her. Her mother had always told her to ask for Hisa's opinion; to treat her as if she was family. That's what made them such a great rescue team. "She said to treat them like family."
"But are you worried about me not coming back or about not having access to them?" Akira asked genuinely curious.
"I'm worried about you...you're the best I've got. You could probably train the best…you know that right?" Tsunade had a motherly look; which was not a face she showed to anyone. She was either mad about paper work or happy about no paperwork.
Akira felt the tears in her eyes. I can't cry. I'm done crying, she told herself. "I will ask. Does that mean I get to go?"
"It means I will think about it," Tsunade said sternly.
"Sounds good," Akira said. That means she's thinking about it, which means there's a possibility.
Akira bit the tip of her thumb and tasted her coopery blood in her mouth. She did the appropriate hand signs and slammed her hand onto the floor where black scribbled appeared with a puff of smoke.
When the smoke lifted in the middle of a circle stood a small black and white panda. She had the wisest eyes for any animal, deep and black. Her black fur was so glossy you could almost see your reflection. The white part of her fur had not yellowed with time. It was as white as snow and looked as soft as cotton balls. Akira had summoned Hisa, one of the many gentle mountain pandas that answered only to Akira's blood.
Akira stared at the beautiful panda remembering the first time she met her.
Airi was combing her daughters' hair. Akira scarlet hair was so long it the ends touched the small of her back. She was quietly humming while her mother was brushing her hair. She was happy it was just the two of them. Her brothers' leaving was still raw and her father was on a mission and wouldn't be back for four days.
"So what do you want to do now my love." Airi asked her daughter when she was done brushing her hair.
Akira round face lit up. She knew exactly what she wanted to do. "Train!!" she said bouncing on the tip of her toes.
Airi couldn't help but laugh. "All work and no play? How about you meet someone who will teach you a couple things?"
"Does that mean you're going to leave?" Akira asked frowning.
"No, I haven't called on her in a long time. I want to talk to her too," Airi answered watching her daughters' frown turn into a big smile.
"Do we have to wait a while for her? Cuz if we do then I want to practice healing!!"
"No my love, all I have to do is summon her," Airi said as she bit the tip of her thumb.
"Summon her…" Akira was confused.
She watched as her mother made some hand signs and slammed her hand onto the floor and said, "Summoning jutsu."
There was a puff of smoke and two beautiful black and white pandas appeared in the middle of a black scribble circle. The first panda was small and her fur shined as if it were brand new. The second panda was a little bigger and instead of having black paws she had white ones. Both pandas had human expressions on their round faces. The small one looked annoyed and the bigger one looked upset.
"She called me," said the shiny panda.
"No I'm pretty sure she called me," argued the white pawed panda.
Akira stared at the talking pandas in amazement. She thought they were extinct. She was sure her grandma had said they were just bedtime stories. But they weren't, the talking pandas were right in front of her having a very heated argument.
"Actually I called both of you," Airi said smiling. "I thought my daughter would benefit in meeting both of you."
"Lady Airi, sorry for the argument but Kana is very hard headed," the shiny panda said softly. Her voice reminded Akira of wind chimes.
"Hard headed my ass," the white pawed panda spit out. Her voice became softer when she turned her attention to Akira's mother. "My bad Lady Airi, you how Hisa always thinks she's right." Her voice reminded Akira of a cello; it was lower than Hisa's but it was still music to Akira's ears.
Airi smiled at the pandas and then looked at Akira. "Come here my love, I want you to meet Hisa and Kana they are chakra sensing mountain pandas," she told Akira gesturing to the talking pandas.
Akira could only think of one thing to say. "Grandma said they didn't exist anymore…she said she made up talking pandas for bedtime."
"Thought I told mom not to tell you those stories. If you had said anything about talking pandas to your father he would flip out," Airi said sighing. Her mother never really listened to her.
"That's why she told me to never say anything. That it was our secret. It's okay mom," Akira reassured her mother. She loved her grandmother and would never do anything to get her in trouble.
"So you know part of our story," Kana asked.
"Yep!" Akira said eagerly. "Grams said you guys are super awesome. Most of you can see chakras and a few of you know to harness chakra to fight. Make it physically appear. That's so cool!!"
"Wow it looks like Grandma told you a lot," Airi said laughing.
"Not everything, I swear," Akira said earnestly.
"That's fine little one if you're up for some review we can tell you everything," Hisa's soft voice said.
"That would be great," Airi and Akira said at the same time.
"Let's start with the basics kid," Kana started off. "We are chakra sensing mountain pandas. Every panda in our clan can see chakra but it's what they do with their ability that makes them unique. Hisa sees chakra but she has a rare power. You see most of us can just see a ninja's chakra. But Hisa can see it, smell it and taste it. This makes her the best hunter/rescue panda in the clan. She worked well with your grandmother. They were sent on rescue missions on the time. Me on the other hand, I see a ninja's chakra and harness it to make it my own. I also help the Kimari women learn how to harness their chakra so it can be used offensively and defensively. I worked well with your mother, back when she still practiced."
Akira looked at her mother and saw something in her eyes she had never seen before: nostalgia. Her mother missed being a ninja and gave all that up to form a family with good for nothing husband. Akira decided she was totally going to dedicate all her free time to have her mother train her. That would definitely make her happy, she thought to herself smiling.
"The Kimari women?" Akira questioned the use of her mother's maiden name.
"Oh that's right, your last name is Kioshi…like your father. But never forget little one, that in your blood runs Kimari blood," Kana answered trying not to sound resentful. She hated the Kioshi men; they were all good for nothing jerks but she had to respect Lady Airi's decision. Whatever her reasons were for marrying that bastard, she thought bitterly.
"Oooohhhh! I'm going to call myself Akira Kimari!! I like the sound of that," Akira said excited.
"Don't get wrapped up in names baby, also long you know who you are…it really doesn't matter what your name is," Her mother told her lovingly.
"I have a question. Is a ninja's chakra scent and their normal scent the same," Akira asked Hisa.
"That is a really good question," the beautiful panda said. She turned to Akira's mother. "She's very bright Lady Airi, we should start training her now. She would learn a great deal of skills."
Airi just smiled. Hisa turned her attention to Akira's round eager face. "The two scents are very different. When someone leaves a place their human scents fades over time and eventually it disappears from that place. A human's chakra scent fades but never disappears. It's a completely different scent from what they normally smell like," the wind chime voice ended.
Akira looked a little confused and was going to say something but Hisa but her to it. "That was probably a little confusing for a 5 year old. Okay…in this room there are 5 chakra scents; three very sharp scents and two fading scents. The first scent is your mother's…her chakra smells like fresh linens, crisp and clean; always has. The second scent is your father's…his chakra smells like wet dirt. The third scent is yours…your chakra smells like apples and cinnamon, warm and sweet. Sometimes the scent matches the personality."
"That is so cool! I knew dad was a dirtball!" Akira yelped with enthusiasm.
Kana and Hisa laughed. Their voices together sounded like and symphony. Airi shook her head. She knew her daughter didn't think much of her father and she was pretty sure that Akira heard the arguing at night; especially since Hiro left. "Sweetheart, don't call your father a dirtball. It's not nice."
"Yes mom," Akira said a little dejectedly. Then she perked up. "The fading scents…who do they belong to? And what color is my scent?"
"It's been a while since a child has asked so many questions. You remind me of your mother. The first fading scent is of your brother. His chakra smells like fresh cut lemons. The second fading scent is of Lady Tsunade. Which is weird because she left the village a while ago—" the shiny panda was cut off.
"She visits us all the time. Except dad isn't suppose to know! Actually nobody is really suppose to know. Sorry mom," Akira said her eyes downcast.
"It's okay…they know how to keep secrets," Airi reassured her daughter.
Hisa smiled. If all that came out of Lady Airi's union with her husband was Akira then that was more than enough. This was the first time they had met Akira and both pandas realized the child had so much potential that they knew she would excel quickly.
"Your chakra is sunshine yellow…nice and bright, just like you," Kana answered before Akira asked Hisa.
"That's so cool!! Ummm…what can you harness chakra into?" Akira asked the white pawed pandas rather timidly.
"Glad you asked. I can make chakra flames, kunai, rope, energy balls, but my favorite is the chakra wall. Your grandmother was one of the few Kimari women who could do it. It's a wall that serves as protection, but it also can imprison a person. It was really depends on the will of the person creating it; but expends a huge amount of chakra. Lady Airi was starting to do it. But she hasn't mastered it." Kana turned to Akira and whispered, "But she's mastered everything else. Flames are what your mother does best but she also uses her chakra to heal. It's amazing."
Akira had no idea her mother was that talented! She was amazed that her mother had stopped being a ninja. With everything she could do she could probably be the Hokage's personal bodyguard. Something occurred to Akira. "Why don't other ninjas summon you? I've never seen a chakra pandas with any ninja."
"We only serve the Kimari women. Along time ago we were sold off to do the bidding of others. Your great-great-grandmother stopped that, offered us her protection. That's how we obtained the chakra wall. Your great-great grandmother gave it to us. She binded her powers to ours, she was a great woman. Treated us like we were human and so did everyone of her daughters. So we agreed as a clan that we would serve the Kimari women if they ever needed us." Kana said with a big smile on her black and white face.
"So you're like family? That is even more awesome! I have panda relatives!" Akira jumped up and down with joy.
Everyone looking at Akira and started to laugh, her excitement had spread. She was such a happy child.
"Okay guys let's leave some of the story for tomorrow," Airi said and with that everyone said their goodbyes rather reluctantly.
I use to be so happy, Akira thought to herself as she stared at the stunning panda.
"Lady Tsunade, always a pleasure," Hisa said in a leisurely voice. Her voice sounded like a soft chime of bells.
Akira instantly relaxed. Hisa always had that effect on her. She reminds me of Shikamaru…without the sarcasm, Akira thought with a smile. It was the first real smile in a long time.
Hisa's deep onyx eyes turned to Akira and instantly became alarmed. "Lady Akira…"
"You can say it Hisa…you've seen me better," Akira said reading the look on the panda's face.
"That is true…but also I've seen you worse," she said simply.
Akira felt the corners of her lips turn into a sad smile. Mom. "I guess you have."
The beautiful panda smiled and said, "It's been a while since we've been sent on a rescue mission Lady Akira."
"That's not why she called you Hisa. She summoned you for another reason," Tsunade said bringing the panda's attention back to herself.
Hisa creased her forehead in confusion. "We don't do assassinations Lady Tsunade, I'm sure Lady Akira made that clear."
"She knows Hisa. She knows we don't take a life unless absolutely necessary. That's not why I called you either. Lady Tsunade wants to know what you think about leaving for a month on an extended mission," Akira knowing what Hisa would say.
"I go where you go, Lady Akira. I'll follow you anywhere." Hisa was confused. No matter where Akira went, dangerous or not she always followed. That was never a question. What is going on, she thought to herself.
Tsunade did not look pleased. She was hoping Hisa would talk some sense into Akira.
"I told you she would agree," Akira told Tsunade looking pleased.
"Tell her why you want to leave."
"It doesn't matter," Akira snapped.
"Tell her," Tsunade snapped back.
The panda looked at Tsunade and back at Akira. Akira would never snap at Tsunade. What is wrong with her?
Akira turned to the black and white animal and sighed. She knew Hisa would disapprove. "It's because of Gaara. I'm kinda broken here and I can't heal myself because he's here. So I asked her—" she pointed to Tsunade "—to give us an extended mission so that I can leave and figure out how to think about him without it hurting."
"So that your eyes don't water over," Hisa observed. "But that's not the only reason is it?"
"What?" Both Tsunade and Akira asked.
"The boy isn't the only reason is it my lady?" The gentle creature asked softly.
Akira knew where Hisa was going; damn she knows me better than anybody else, she thought to herself. "I don't know what you're talking about," Akira lied.
"He made you remember. How did he make you remember," the wise panda asked Akira.
Tsunade looked at Hisa; it was as if she could see right thru Akira. It looked as though she knew exactly what was wrong with Akira. Tsunade stared at Akira, she was near her breaking point. Her fists were clenched and she was straining to keeping herself together. That's when it hit Tsunade, she knew exactly what the panda was getting at.
"I told you I don't know what you're talking about," Akira said through clench teeth.
"Oh my lady…it's okay…you don't have to deal with it alone."
"Shut up," Akira said sharply. She felt the tears in the corner of her eyes.
"You have forgiven the boy. You forgave him the moment the anger passed. You're mad at yourself for needing him to deal with your parents passing—"
"I said shut up," Akira cut Hisa off. She didn't want to hear anymore. She knew this a mistake. She should have stayed in her room.
"No my lady, you don't have to deal with it alone but you do have to deal with it. You can grieve…you've never really grieved." Hisa walked towards Akira.
"No I said SHUT UP," Akira said, tearing now flowing freely down her face. She sunk to the floor. She didn't want to think about her dead mother. She didn't want to see her father's face. She didn't want to think about being in the kitchen with her dead parents until Shikamaru came in the morning. She didn't want to think about not having Gaara by her side. She didn't want to think about being alone.
Tsunade stood up and walked over to Akira. She put her arms around the young ninja. "It's okay…ssshhhh," she said running her fingers through Akira's scarlet locks.
"She needs a mother Lady Tsunade. She always been mother, father, brother, best friend to herself; never letting anyone in. I'm guessing the sand nin took some of that off her shoulders; I'm guessing she was free with him. She didn't have to deal with things that hurt her," Hisa said approaching the two humans.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up," Akira quietly whispered to herself. She felt Hisa's soft fur tickle the side of her arms. She wasn't angry with the panda. Deep down inside she was grateful to her because Hisa reminded her of who she was. She wrapped her fingers around the panda's soft ear.
"Everything happens for a reason. People always do things for a reason. She married your father for a reason. Without them you wouldn't be here. You have got to forgive yourself for what you did. He killed your mother he deserved what came to him," Tsunade whispered in Akira's ear.
She killed her father because he had killed her mother. People do things for a reason. Son of a bitch, Akira thought to herself. All of a sudden she realized something that would take her mind off her parents or lack thereof and that was good enough for her; because if she didn't have to think about what she did then she wouldn't have to deal with it. She held onto that thought with everything she had.
"Were the Elders from the Sand Village here?" she asked lifting her face off of Tsunade's shoulders and wiping the tears away.
"What?" Tsunade asked confused. What did the Elders have to do with her parents?
"Were they here recently," Akira asked again.
"The the entire Council wasn't, only two elders were here. What do they have to do with anything?" Tsunade asked Akira taking the beautiful ninja's face into her hands.
Akira felt something twist in her stomach. Nobody had held her face that gently since her mother died, except Gaara.
"Son of a bitch," Akira said almost inaudibly. Something had clicked. Gaara and Sakura. Everything came together. That bubble gum haired ditz has a few questions to answer, Akira thought to herself.
She quickly jumped up and sprinted to the door. "I've gotta go. I need to talk to someone," Akira offered as an explanation to the confused looking Hokage and the wise panda. Without a second thought she ran out the room.
"What just happened?" Tsunade asked Hisa.
"That was Lady Akira's way of not dealing with her parents' death," Hisa told Tsunade. Her onyx eyes were still staring at the spot where Akira had just been standing. "She always finds a way…"
"So now what do we do?"
"We wait until she comes back; because she will come back Lady Tsunade. She wants to leave and she won't leave without your permission," the wind chimey voice said.
"That's what I'm counting on," Tsunade said. If she wants a mission she's going to have to show me she wants it.
Shikamaru Nara knew he was in trouble. First, he had lied to Temari about not being about to make it to lunch. Second, he told Akira to leave. And third, Akira was now missing. She is going to fucking kill me, he thought to himself as he walked up the steps of the Sabaku house.
As he stood at the top step he took as deep breath and quietly said, "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." He was about to walk back down the steps when a strong pair of hands grabbed his vest to stop him.
"Oh no, you don't. If I have to go in there, so do you," Gaara hissed as he let go of Shikamaru.
"She's your sister," Shikamaru grumbled.
"She's your girlfriend," Gaara countered. "And you're the dumb-ass who told Akira to leave."
"Hey I didn't think she would listen. Plus I don't think she left, she's somewhere in this village we just don't know where." Shikamaru said disgruntled.
"And you're the fucking genius who thought it was a great idea to kiss the bubblegum ditz!" Shikamaru shot back. "You get to talk to her first."
"Your news is worse, you get to tell her first," the redhead told Shikamaru.
"Hell no, you go first. Trust me when I say your news is worst." Shikamaru said pushing the sand nin to the front door.
Both ninjas had told each other everything after they met in Akira's bedroom. Sakura, Gaara and Shikamaru waited for two hours but Akira never came home. They waited until Hiro got home and told him everything. He had turned as white as paper and said that he start looking for her. Which is why both ninjas where standing in front of the beautifully ornate front door. They needed to tell Temari everything so that she could help them look for Akira.
Both ninjas entered through the front door. Shikamaru's eyes widen to see Temari sitting on the bottom step waiting for them. She had a grim face on and looked ready to kill one of them, if not both.
She stood up slowly. "So I get a frantic call from Naruto asking me if I've seen Akira. So I asked myself why would I have seen Akira? Because she's been locked inside her room for the past two weeks," Temari said very slow and deliberate.
"And as far as I knew she was still in there. But no, that's not the case. She is missing. Turns out, BOTH OF YOU FUCKING KNEW!! SO DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING TELL ME WHY ITS TAKEN YOU TWO HOURS TO COME HERE AND TELL ME SOMETHING I HAD TO HEAR FROM NARUTO??" She ended screaming her lungs off.
Shikamaru gulped. I knew I should've gone home, he thought miserably.
Gaara never let any emotions betrayed his stony face. "Calm down Temari and let us explain—"
"CALM DOWN!! Don't tell me to calm down!! You've got some nerve you nitwit! Where is she?!" Temari shrieked. She was worried about Akira, she was like a sister. And if Akira wasn't with Shikamaru or Ayame then she was definitely lost. What did Shikamaru tell her this morning!!
"First of all the reason it took us this long to come and see you…well frankly it's because we're scared of you," her brother confessed calmly.
Temari stared at Gaara and then her eyes landed on Shikamaru. Shikamaru was surprised that the infamous sand nin would confess the fear he had of Temari's backlash. He was surprised but he wasn't going to deny the truth, he was in enough trouble as it was. He nodded to confirm the truth of Gaara's words.
Temari shook her head and sat back down on the last step. Shikamaru walked over and sat down next to her. He knew that she needed to vent, she was always calmer when she vented. He gently rubbed the small of her back and whispered into her ear, "Are you done?" She nodded.
"Your brother's right. We kinda had to build up the nerve to come and talk to you," Shikamaru whispered in her ear. "You're kinda scary when you're mad."
"I know," she whispered back. Shikamaru was still rubbing her back. She was surprised that it was calming her down.
Gaara cringed at the sight of his sister and Shikamaru's familiarity with each other. He was again reminded of what he'd lost with Akira. He sighed as he watched Shikamaru calm his sister down.
I really did fuck everything up didn't I? He asked himself thinking about Akira. He couldn't think of any way to fix the mess that was their relationship. There were only three things he was sure of: the first one, he loved Akira. The second, she loved him. The third, he hurt her and wasn't sure if she was going to forgive him. Sure Akira had hurt him when she broke up without any warning what so ever, but Gaara was pretty sure the Sakura kiss beat that. But the no warning really caught him off guard; one day they were together and the next day they were done and over with. His face turned into stone as he remembered when Akira ended it.
Gaara was waiting for Akira to show up at his house. He had told her to come over at 4 but she was half an hour late and he was beginning to wonder what was keeping her away. She had been acting a little weird all week but whenever he asked she said it was because she was tired.
He heard the door open and close. Temari welcomed whoever came in. Then he saw her enter the living room. She looked stunning. He smiled as he took her in. Her scarlet colored hair was curled into loose locks. She had black denim pants on and an auburn colored sweater that almost matched her warm brown eyes. She walked towards him with a small smile.
"Your late," he stated.
"I know," Akira answered as she plopped onto the tan sofa.
"Ayame gets on my nerves. She's drooling over Hyuga but refuses to say anything to him," she sighed laying her head back.
Gaara looked at Akira and knew she was stressed. Her eyes were squeezed close like she was trying to block everything. It was weird because usually when they were together everything was blocked out. He walked over to her and stood over her blocking out the light.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Akira opened her eyes and smiled. He was still as gorgeous as ever. His ruby locks were spiked in all the right places and he was smiling. His broad shoulders blocked out most of the light. He was out of his usual clothes and in a pair of navy blue pants and a plain white t-shirt. He's trying to blend in, she thought with a chuckle.
All she really wanted to do was lose herself in him. But he couldn't be her escape anymore. He couldn't be anything because she had to end it. With that thought she frowned and squeezed her eyes shut. But not before she saw his bottle green eyes filled with concern. She felt her heart stop beating. Fuck he's going to make this hard, she thought to herself as she considered what she was about to do.
"Nothing it's just Ayame," she lied.
Maybe I should just wait another week, she thought, no that's what I said last week. It had been three weeks since Kankuro told her what the Elders in the Sand village thought about her. Three weeks of trying to convince herself to end it. Three weeks of trying to fall out of love with Gaara. But he made it harder every day. He had this side to him that he only showed her. She saw more and more of that side as time went on. This made breaking up even harder, especially since he had already become a part of her.
"That's not the only thing you're thinking about," Gaara said suddenly sounding closer than she had seen him. His breath tickled her ear. Akira refused to open her eyes.
If I don't have to look at him then it'll be easier, she tried to convince herself. He hadn't moved. He was as still as a statue. His sweet scent was driving her crazy. Fuck it, she thought opening her eyes.
There he was inches away from her face, just looking at her. She took his soft face into her hands. Brushed her fingertips across his love scar and watched at he closed his eyes and sighed with pleasure.
"You're right," she told him as she placed her forehead to his, closing her eyes.
Gaara thought he knew what was wrong with Akira. Gaara thought it was because keeping their relationship a secret was getting to be too much. They had kept quiet for two years. It's about time everyone knew about them. And he could care less about the consequences. Screw the consequences, every single one of them.
He leaned in closer. "Let's just tell everyone."
"What!" Akira eyes snapped open. She spoke in higher pitch then she intended. "Tell everyone what?!"
No, no, no, no, no. I gotta end this now! I cannot publically humiliate him, Akira thought frantically trying to figure out how to do the dirty deed.
"Screw the consequences and let's tell everyone know about us," he stated boldly.
"Are you crazy?! We can't do that!"
"Why not," he asked looking into Akira's chocolate eyes.
"First of all you have certain responsibilities as future Kage. Second of all I'm not the type of women a Kage would be with. And third of all my brother, remember?" she said an octave higher than before.
"What part of screw the consequences did you not understand?" Gaara asked smiling.
"No, don't do that. Don't smirk like you know something I don't. Stop. You're not listening to me Gaara! We can't…you can't…I mean…" she didn't know how to finish.
Gaara was confused. He thought that this is what she wanted. He thought she wanted people to know. He frowned at her inability to complete her thought.
"So what do you want Akira? What are you trying to say," he asked her confused. He pulled himself away from her…he didn't like the look on her face. It was the same face she put on when she had to do something she didn't like.
"I'm just saying that there's got to be a reason we haven't told anyone in two years," she answered softly. She could feel the distance between them increasing. She could feel the tension in the room increase. She wanted skin to skin contact with him again. Butmaybe this is for the best, she thought, maybe this will make it easier.
"What the hell does that mean," he asked, the frustration in his voice was increasing.
Akira pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. She prepared herself for what she was about to do. She knew the right thing to do was letting Gaara go. But as she snuck a glance at the love of her life, she wasn't sure she wanted to do the right thing. She was tired of doing the right thing but she had to this for Gaara. For Gaara's future, at least that's what she kept telling herself.
"It just means that there's a reason…" she drifted off.
"Yea there has been a reason. Your brother! That's been your reason since we started this," he said angrily.
Akira could hear the tension in his voice. And usually he never raised his voice with her. She could him straining to keep his voice at room level. This would be so much easier if he yelled at me, she thought to herself. That's when it occurred to her, she was going to make him yell.
"And what's been your reason," she asked in an even tone. She saw as he clenched his fists. She could clearly see his knuckles as his white skin tighten. It's working.
"What the fuck is that suppose to mean," he asked his voice deadly.
She cringed at his choice of words. She sighed and prepared herself for the worst. She stood up to face him. His jade told her she was hurting him but his face was ice cold totally devoid of emotion. She hadn't seen that side of him in a long time.
"It means we both have reasons. What's yours," she asked meeting his icy glare.
"I don't have any…I have never said a word because of you," he said raising his voice. But he knew he was lying, he did have a reason. His village didn't like her but he only knew it was because she caused the death of one of the Elders son's.
He had fallen for Akira when one day when he had come to visit Naruto. It wasn't until he heard her full name did he realize she was the girl the village detested. He was trying to figure out how to get the village to like her ever since they had started their relationship. But he was having no luck and Temari and Kankuro were no help.
"Liar…you've got a reason. You don't want to tell me about it but you DO have it," she said softly. She knew she had gotten him angry enough when she saw his sand swirl at the word liar. I've got to finish this, she thought sadly.
"No, you don't get to make THIS about you!! If you've got something to say, say it!" he said loudly. He didn't know why she felt this way. But if they were going to end it, then she was going to do it. He felt himself bracing for the worst. He was so in love with her didn't know what he was going to do without her but he wasn't going to show her he cared.
Akira winced at the amount of anger in his voice. "Maybe we should just end it, end us. And then nobody would have to know, other than Naruto, Temari and Shikamaru…" she said almost inaudibly. She felt herself breaking as soon as the words left her mouth.
"End us," he stated in a hollow voice. "Why? Is it because you don't care anymore?"
"Gaara…."
"Say it. Tell me you don't love me." He needed to hear it to be real. He needed to know she didn't love him because then he could hate her.
How could he even think that, she thought miserably. He knew she believed that people did everything for a reason. That she did everything for a reason. But he was too hurt to think logically. She couldn't even begin to say what he wanted to hear. She did love him. She would never tell him otherwise, no matter how much his village hated her.
"Love...I…Gaara…" she didn't know what to say.
He didn't know if she was going to say it but he did know he wanted her in as much pain as he was in right now. He folded his arms over his chest and said with no emotion, "Stop. You know what, it was just a phase. We were just a phase. I don't care anymore. Your right this thing me and you had its over. Truthfully, it was never really anything."
She couldn't breathe. Her heart tighten and she felt tears threatening to spill out. She took a deep breath. "I guess you're right," she breathed out.
He turned his back to her. He didn't watch her walk out the living room but he did hear her say very quietly, "I guess you're happy now."
Gaara had thought she was talking to him but if he had turned around he would have saw Akira had said that to Kankuro; who had showed up because he heard the argument.
The jade eyed ninja shook his head. He couldn't believe he had said that to her. He knew he had hurt her. But she hurt him first. That didn't justify his actions but it did explain them. Never cross the sand wielding ninja.
"I know that at this moment you don't like me very much Temari but I do need your help," Gaara told his sister.
She lifted her blonde head up and looked into her brother's beautiful teal eyes. "Whether I like or dislike you is not important right now. But if I am going to help you find Akira, you're going to tell me what you did to her."
"He kissed Sakura," Shikamaru said before Gaara even had the chance to answer.
Temari's eyes widen with shock. "You've done a lot of shit in your life bro but this has got to be number one," she said shaking her head.
"I mean what were you thinking?" She asked looking at her brother again.
"I have a good explanation—" Gaara began to say but was cut off by Temari.
"Save it Gaara. I already know what it is," she said getting up and walking over to her brother.
She does? Shikamaru asked himself. How does she know? He walked over with her.
Temari looked at her brother and put both hands on his shoulder. "Where's the Gaara Akira fell in love with? Where's the Gaara that would have sent the Elders to hell? She would never admit it but she wants you to fight for her," she said gently shaking his shoulders.
She what? Gaara thought to himself.
"Has it really been that long? Have you really forgotten who she is in five months? She's never had anyone fight for her. She's had do everything on her own, by herself, fight for herself. You were the only thing she didn't have to fight for until—"
"I told her she told to let you go for our village," Kankuro said coming down the stairs.
"You told her?!" Temari, Gaara, and Shikamaru yelled at the same time.
Gaara was mad. In fact he was beyond mad. He couldn't believe his stupid brother would do such a thing! He was so very close to strangling his only brother. "What the fuck were you thinking?" he yelled.
Kankuro looked as guilty as sin. He was sorry for what he had done. He knew that both Akira and Gaara loved each other but he was so sure that after she broke it off both ninjas would go back to normal. That they would move on. But they didn't. In the end Gaara decided to pester Akira everyday for an answer and Akira, well she withdrew into herself because she didn't have Gaara to talk to. Kankuro knew the moment she ended it that he had committed a very big mistake in telling her to end it for the sake of the Sand Village.
"I don't know…I thought you guys would be okay..." Kankuro said quietly. He couldn't look his brother in the eye. But he could feel the anger coming from Gaara.
"And who told you that we needed your input," Gaara spit out.
"Stop!" Temari yelled at both her brothers. She turned to Kankuro. "You had no right! If Gaara hadn't said anything to her it's because he had his reasons. You should have asked him, you big dummy!"
Then she turned to her redheaded brother. "And you, you fucked up big time. So instead of blaming Kankuro how about you ask yourself why you didn't tell her anything?! And why Gaara, why would you think it was okay to kiss Sakura?"
Gaara looked at his sister and knew she meant business. But she brought up a good point, why hadn't he told Akira and avoided all the trouble? That's when it hit Gaara, he knew why. He was afraid she would do exactly what she did; pick his village over their relationship. And Gaara didn't want her to make that choice because he knew loyalty to the village came first. "I thought it would give me time; time to figure out how to…I don't know Temari. Stay with her and have the village embrace her," he said looking into his sister's dark eyes.
"And since when has that mattered. Where's my brother? The brother that would have sent the village to hell! I've got news for you! It doesn't matter what the Old Man Kioshi says; the village needs you. You're the only one who can be Kazekage. Guess what? It doesn't matter if you're blue, green, orange, yellow, white or dating Akira Kioshi you'll always be Kazekage. It's your right. And all of this—has been about controlling you! Do you see it? Do you understand now?" She asked her voice finally softening.
And her sand wielding brother did see it! He understood it completely as the white hot anger spread throughout his body. He was definitely going to talk to the Elders but first they had to find Akira. "We have to find her Temari," Gaara said decisively.
Temari knew she had talked some sense into her stubborn brother. She was pleased with herself. "Now why is she missing in the first place? I thought she was going to stay in her room forever."
"That would be your boyfriend's fault," Gaara said smirking. This would be interesting.
"What?!" Temari practically yelled.
Shikamaru shrunk back a little. Fuck, I'm screwed. "Well…ummm…this morning…I sorta kinda told her to leave," he stammered.
"Shikamaru Nara what the HELL were you thinking?" Temari asked incredulous.
"I was thinking she needed some space," he answered defensively. He took one look at Temari's face and sighed. Great she's mad cuz I didn't say anything this morning.
Shikamaru sighed. "You didn't hear her voice…she was desperate to make the—" –he took one look and Gaara's face and edited himself— "—I didn't think she would take me seriously," Shikamaru finished as he walked into the living room and sat down on the couch.
He brought his hands to his face and scrubbed them in frustration. Where the hell is she? he thought to himself, his frustration mounting. That's when it hit him. If she was going to leave the village there was only person she would go see before leaving. Tsunade, he thought, is the one person she'd ask for permission. He was surprised he didn't think about it before.
"I know where she is," Shikamaru jumped up from the couch, startling the sand siblings.
"Where?" Gaara was the first to ask.
"At the Hokage's," Shikamaru answered headed toward the door. "Come on," he motioned to the sand siblings who were staring at himself like he was crazy.
Gaara was the first to move. Shikamaru knew Akira well enough to tell her to leave when she really needed it. He trusted the ninja enough to follow him to the Hokage's mansion. It was one of the only places they didn't check. He walked up to Shikamaru and turned around to his brother and sister, "It wouldn't hurt to try?"
Please let her be there, Gaara thought anxiously.
Sakura had stayed home because Gaara and Shikamaru said that was the best. But she was starting to wonder if that really was the wise thing. At home she couldn't do anything. And she was pretty sure Naruto was sick of her calling every 15 minutes, asking if they had found Akira. Boy, when Akira wanted to disappear she could, Sakura thought to herself.
The pink haired leaf ninja was pacing a hole in to carpet. If Akira didn't show up soon Sakura was going to go out and look for her. She knew she should have told Akira everything the night she had locked herself in her room. But Sakura didn't have the nerve to betray Gaara's trust. So she had kept quite. A lot good that did, Sakura thought to herself as she walked over to the phone willing it to ring with good news.
She just as she was about to call Naruto for an update her doorbell rang. Maybe they found her, Sakura thought hopefully. She quickly went to go open the door.
She gulped as she realized who standing in her doorway. Well she's not missing anymore, Sakura thought as Akira Kioshi stood at the doorway in her pajamas looking like she hadn't slept in days.
Akira only said one thing before inviting herself into Sakura's apartment. "We need to talk, now."
A/N: So I hope you liked it. This time I'm really going to try to update sooner. I just wanted to let AnimeStar001 know that I really LOVE your fanfic and once I finish reading all the chapters I'm going to review!! (I'm on ch 6!!)